"I saw Marion Phauna crying today."

"I wonder why that might be?"

"Stop the innocent bullshit Hao, what did you do to her?"

After school, two twins lounge around in the living room, doing nothing in particular. One with the long hair sprawled across the three seat couch, drinking a can of coke. The other with the shorter hair sitting on the floor, leaning across a glass coffee table. A very average looking scene, but there's nothing average about these two. OK, twins in its self isn't something you see everyday around here, but the fact that these two are actually sitting down and having a civilized conversation is an amazing feat. Maybe I should take a photo of this.

"Marion's the blond girl isn't she?" I ask, sipping my cup of tea. I look up at Yoh-kun for confirmation.

"Yah, the one that carries the doll that looks like you." Yoh-kun grins down at me, biting into a large apple. I smile a kind of forced smile.

"Yeah, her." Hao says dismissively. "She said she wanted to go out with me. I said stop wasting my time and go play with her dolls."

"Hao!"

"Um… couldn't you have said in a bit more of a nicer way?" I say, hesitantly. Hao scares me a little. He looks identical to Yoh-kun facial features wise, except that they both pull different expressions, so they don't look that much alike. There's something about him that makes me twitch.

"Did you say something little football?" he smiles. He so doesn't mean that smile. I shake my head violently from side to side.

"Hao, stop picking on Manta. And he's right, why couldn't you be a bit more nicer in your answer? Doesn't hurt does it?" Yoh-kun sighs a kind of defeated sigh. I sigh along with him. "It's a wonder how the girls still flock to you even though you're such a bastard."

"They like the cool and mysterious type." I mumble.

"Besides, I look good."

"…" I really wonder where he gets this confidence from.

"But we're twins, so we look the same…"

"I think that's beside the point."

"…" I sigh again.

"But it's true, why do the girls flock to you?" Yoh says, resting his elbow on the coffee table, and resting his cheek on his had, lazily chomping at the apple.

"It's not only the chicks." Hao flutters his eyelashes. I hope I didn't really see that. There's something really wrong with Hao fluttering his eyelashes.

"You mean guys too?" Yoh-kun asks, his head perking up a fraction.

"Yep." Hao says, and takes a drink out of his coke.

"I suppose you can look like a girl if you tried…" I say before I can stop myself. The empty can of coke hits my head. I think I can see stars. "Manta!" Yoh-kun panics, and sits me up. "Hao, stop picking on him already!"
"He started it." Hao snorts, and leans back into the couch. "Football, have you not hear the word homosexual before?"
"I have, you'd be surprised…" I say and rub my head. I can feel a bump coming along. "I'll be alright Yoh-kun." I sit up and resume sipping my tea. Maybe Hao's coke can wasn't empty, this tea tastes suspiciously sweet.

"Guys, huh? Anyone I know?" Yoh-kun says, sitting up and looking over at Hao. Hao raises an eyebrow. "And why would you care?"
"Just am." Yoh-kun pulls an unbelievably innocent face.

"…Nichrome came up to me the other day."

""Nichrome?"" Yoh-kun and I both say in synch. "Nichrome's that little guy with the long plait…"
"…who hates Ren." Yoh-kun finishes off for me.
"Yep." Hao says, now opening a packet of chicken flavored Twisties.

"So what did you say to him?"

"I just smiled at him and said thanks. I'll string him along and see what happens."

"… you're such a bastard." Yoh-kun mutters, and attempts to throw the apple core at Hao. He dodges.

"What do you mean? It's not like I'm in a steady relationship with anyone, is it?" Hao says, smiling that smile. I shudder. Yoh-kun laughs forcebily. Yoh-kun and I both sit there in an uncomfortable silence. I really wonder about Hao's way of seeing things. Or maybe it's just me.

"So how goes your sex life?"

I spit out my tea. Yoh-kun looked like he was about to fall backwards. Great conversation starter, Hao.

"You're sick." Hao says, laughing at me.

"No, YOU'RE sick! I thought we were just talking about relationships in general!" I manage to says, recovering. Since I spat out all me tea I decide to help myself to the almonds in front of me to calm my nerves.

"Yeah, sexual relationships, what gives?" Hao smiles. He throws a couple of Twisties in his mouth. "Still a relationship. So what about yours? It's not fair that I give away all my details." pointedly Hao looks at his twin.

"…why would you care?" Yoh-kun mumbles. Looking away.

Hao smiles slyly. "I see you haven't been getting any." Maybe I should leave. "What about that Anna girl?"
"She hates me, and I don't really like her." Yoh-kun says, picking at a couple of almonds and splitting them in half with his front teeth.
"No, she doesn't hate you." Hao says, still eating the Twisties. "I think she has it for you."
"Haha."
"Besides, she's hot, isn't she?"
"… you really are a bastard." Yoh-kun mumbles with his mouth full of split almonds. "I'm not that cheap."

"And what about you football?" Hao turns to me. I guess he ignored Yoh-kun's later statement. I laugh miserably. "I guess you don't have any relationships like that, would you?"
"Hao, for the last time, stop picking on him!" Yoh-kun says defensively. He spits an almond half at Hao. Again, he dodges.
"Aww, isn't it nice to have such a caring friend" Hao says mockingly, and throws the empty Twisties packet at Yoh-kun, which hits him on the head. I sigh.
"Speaking of your friends, that Ren guy 's cute. Is he committed?"

"Huh?"

"Ren. The Chinese boy. Gorgeous eyes. Is he free?"
"…what are you thinking?" A dark aura is surrounding Yoh-kun as his voice drops a fraction. Maybe I should really leave.

"Can't you tell?" Hao says, raising an eyebrow.

"Keep your hands off him."

"And why should I?"

"I don't like the thought of you near him…"

"Really."

"Back off."

"I always get what I want."

I sense a storm brewing.

"Don't talk about Ren as if he's some cheap toy."

"I never said he was, and I don't see him as that." Hao says darkly. "I have some reserve you know."

I was about to say I wonder, but managed to restrain myself. That remote control is too close to Hao for comfort.

"Yeah right." Yoh-kun spits out. I guess he beat me to it. "Like you give a damn about anyone other than yourself."

"What, can't fuck Ren because he's your friend?" Hao narrows his eyes and says in a cruel tone.

"Hao!"

Yoh-kun jumps towards Hao, leaping over the coffee table. I really admire these two's athletic skills. Maybe I should go away before I get involved.

"You two!" A large female voice intervenes. I turn to the door and see the twin's mother, Keiko-san standing there with her hands on her hips. "I told you not to fight in the living room! Look at the mess! Clean it up before dinner, if not you get no dinner!"

""Yes mum.""

"…" I shudder. It's so wrong when those two synch voices and facial expressions.

Keiko-san goes away, and the twins relax slightly.

"You're fault" Yoh-kun breaks the silence and sits down again.
"Stop being such a kid." Hao snorts, and sinks into the couch.

Uneasy silence.

"...So don't go near Ren if you're thinking of touching him." Yoh-kun breaks the ice.
"And how can you stop me?" Hao smirks. "Not like you can say, 'Ren, don't let Hao near you because he plans to rape you, when really I want to push you down and screw you now.'" Hao mimics Yoh-kun's usual tone and rolls his eyes. My brain blanks for a couple of seconds.

"What do you mean by that?" Yoh-kun resumes nibbling at the almonds.
"What, you think you were hiding the fact that you've been looking at him?" Hao laughs. "You are so pathetic Yoh, it makes me want to cry."
"Haha."
"Yoh-kun, do you…like… Ren-kun? In…that…kind of way?" I cautiously ask Yoh-kun. He turns to me with a sheepish grin. "Well, I guess you could say that…" he chuckles. "Yeah, I guess I do."
"That makes him homosexual football." Hao says, throwing a couple of almonds into his mouth with the exact same gesture as he did when eating the Twisties. "Or maybe he's bisexual." frowning, Hao mumbles to himself.

"So that's why you look at Ren-kun so much!" I say, my brain clicking. I smile at Yoh-kun.

"Yep." Sheepishly he grins.

"And why you always follow him around wherever he goes."

"Uhuh."

"And why you brush up behind him when it's crowded."

"Um…"

"And why you dreamily talk describe Ren-kun's face."

"I guess…"

"And why you describe his body in painstaking detail."

"…"

"…football, hello? You've been watching all of this an it hadn't clicked until now?" Talk about thick, Hao mutters under his breath. But I hardly heard it.

"Yoh-kun, I'll support you!" I say, giving him a big grin and a thumbs up. "You two should get together!"

"Manta?"

"Jealous?" Hao's smooth voice intervenes. But I shake my head.

"No no, why would I be? I just want Yoh-kun to be happy, that's all." I smile at him. "You look really really happy when you're with Ren-kun." Yoh chuckles, and pokes his tongue out. He's blushing. I smile and laugh along with him.

"Hello, aren't you forgetting someone?" Hao says in an irritated voice, throwing one almond at Yoh-kun, and the other at me. They both hit us on the head. "So let me get this straight: Football, you're going to set my brother up with his gorgeous little Chinese friend, whom I've obviously had my eyes set on."

"Since when did you have your eyes on him?" Yoh-kun asks incredulously.

"Since always." Hao says in a low voice. The previously aloof and flimsy Hao seems to have disappeared, and now there was a serious Hao in front of me. That in its self can be a bit scary.

"…well, first in best dressed, isn't it?" Yoh-kun says in an equally low voice.

"Is that a challenge, little brother?"

"Sure, why not?"

I begin to realize that trying to set up Yoh-kun with Ren-kun might be a bit more harder than I first anticipated. I sigh, wondering how I'm going to do this without being abused by Hao.

------------------

Ahahahhahahahahaha, good bye. *attempts to run*

I never thought these twins would ever get along had they been normal twins in a normal household. Well, they're not really normal. Hao sounds like such a girl ^^; I really would not have a clue how guys talk in a guys only gathering. I really wouldn't. This fic was basically spawned because I started some random conversation between Hao and Yoh, with Manta somehow narrating. And why it ended up like this is beyond me. o_0;

So here's a hypothetical situation (do we call this AU?) where what if Hao and Yoh were normal (?) twins who went to school (haha scary thought) and both went for the same person? Some may be wondering, "Why Ren? Why not Anna?" ...Well, to put it mildly, I don't like Yoh x Anna or Hao x Anna, and there really isn't enought Yoh x Ren out there, let alone Hao x Ren. This makes it much more funny situation wise. ;D Besides, I love Ren so much, and as long as he's loved, it's all good (but I don't seem to like Horo x Ren that much... funny that. o_0;)

Now, here's the deal, I'll try something different with this fic: I will take (to a degree) requests on what should happen. yep, a request fic... I'll take into account feedback people give me, I'll lead things in a direction navigated by the readers, so put in ideas and so forth via reviews or e-mail. Frankly, I have no realy idea where this is heading (but I have a very vague one). Besides, I love both Yohren and Haoren, I CAN'T CHOOOOOSE! *noooo....* So tell me things like who should win, possible situations etc. The next chapter is like an introductory characters chapter, so have a look at that too. ;) See who are the unfortunate players in this fic... ahahahaha.

This fic will continue as long as it continues....