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AN: Oh, this is just some silly parody thingy I wanted to write. Sesshoumaru is a big ass whatever at his multinational company and he's bored. So he reads my fanfic about… himself!! I guess it's kinda funny…
What do you think? RR if you want.
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Sesshoumaru reads my fanfics
Sesshoumaru sat down at his office and pulled open his laptop. Another day at work. Sometimes he got so bored of working with all these inefficient humans. They always complained that they had to eat every day, sleep every day… For Kami's sake, by night time they were as useless as a dead body!
"Uh…" he sighed, casting aside a strand of hair from before his eyes. He took a long look at the empty desk… There was nothing to do just yet. He frowned a little… This couldn't be, he was always swamped in paperwork. He pushed the button in the intercom and spoke softly:
"Higurashi-san, is there no paperwork this morning?" A feminine, serious voice responded after a click.
"Not yet, Sesshoumaru-sama. The Board is dragging the negotiations for the takeover. I will put you up to date as soon as the situation clears." Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow.
"Be sure that it doesn't take as long as it did the last time, I hate delays."
"I know." she said in a sympathetic manner, seemingly aware of the fact that his staff stepped on Sesshoumaru's toes more often than not.
Sesshoumaru pulled his finger from the button, and laid back on his seat. Higurashi Kagome was maybe the most effective human he'd known. Aside the fact that she needed nourishment daily.
"Hn." he mused, wondering how he'd come to think of that. Looking at the desktop image of his laptop, he got an idea.
"Let's see what they write in the papers about me, lately." he said to himself, and did a Google search with his name. An unimaginable list of features appeared on the screen, and Sesshoumaru widened his eyes.
'Kami… These humans sure assume a lot.' he thought, being known the fact that he rarely made any press comments, so they couldn't quote him on anything really. They were simply speculating about the private life of one of the most powerful men in the country.
As he wet through the titles, sometimes smiling faintly, other times raising an eyebrow in intrigue or even disgust, Sesshoumaru found he was having great fun with reading some parallel universe which contained detailed information about his own life. he bent to take a better look at his own name written below the link. With a shrug, he clicked the link and found himself thrown into some wide database of… drabbling!!
"What the…" he browsed and browsed, until he reached this fanfic called "The other hero". Author, some weird gal Gesserit. What kind of a name is that, anyhow? So, just because he had nothing else to do, he started reading. And he read the first few chapters, frowning all the way through, with each chapter deeper and deeper.
"What a load of crap…" he said slowly, as he came to realize he was reading some sick love story about himself and his adoptive daughter. And his secretary was paired with… this was too much!! None other than his half brother, Inuyasha. Sesshoumaru laughed, and he laughed so hard that on the other side of his door, Kagome thought something had gone terribly wrong with her boss.
"Sesshoumaru-sama, are you…" she peeked through the cracked door, and saw a weird image. Sesshoumaru was picturing a wide smile and he was reading something…
"Oh, Higurashi-san, please come, I'd like you to read something." Kagome walked to his desk, drenched in confusion. This was new… Sesshoumaru almost never smiled at all. Now he was laughing!!
"Come, come, don't be shy." he said, and pulled Kagome by the wrist, urging her closer. The young woman widened her eyes at the unexpected contact, and thought it should be damn good for him to react like this. She bent to read the lines, and she continued to read for a few minutes, as her eyes widened more and more.
"This is…" she unfolded a finger towards the screen, giving Sesshoumaru an almost scared look.
"It's…" she couldn't find the words to say it.
"Crap. You can say it." he continued, and Kagome covered her mouth with her hand.
"Sesshoumaru-sama, you shouldn't pay attention to…"
"No, no, on the contrary, Higurashi-san…" he cut her word "I'd very much like to meet this… person who could have such a vivid imagination as to portray me as Rin's… lover. Kami…" he shook his head, and smiled at the screen again. Kagome was standing by his side, still confused about his reaction.
"These stories are not…" she began, but then she noticed that he was reading another one. "Unliving"
"Unliving? she said and grimaced. The very first lines drew her attention and she was caught. By the time she'd finished the first chapter, Sesshoumaru was staring at her, and she was as red as blood.
"Masaka… " she said, cupping her own cheeks, and giving Sesshoumaru a scared look. He, however, seemed to enjoy the entire thing.
"Well she had the youkai part right, but… You're a reporter, and I think I'm well on my way to becoming a vampire, Higurashi-san. How about that?"
"This is not acceptable." she said, and skipped a few chapters to read a more advanced one. After a few minutes, she went red with embarrassment.
"Oh, this is new…" Sesshoumaru said, a wide smile on his face.
"Do you think I could do that?" he grinned and his fangs shone. Kagome almost melted with embarrassment. He was her boss for seven years, but never had he joked with her like this. The scene was indeed very… descriptive, and she began to feel out of place reading it with him.
"We'd better… see to… our business, Sesshoumaru-sama." she managed to say, and took a step back. Sesshoumaru shook his head lightly, but continued to read, while smiling. She was just standing by his side, not having been dismissed. She was traditional.
After a few more minutes, which passed like a hundred years for her, Kagome could hear Sesshoumaru mumble.
"Hmm… this is really… Higurashi, come look at this. It says here that I just rip your…"
"Sesshoumaru-sama, STOP! I cannot take any more of this nonsense! May I be excused?" She was red and teary-eyed, but Sesshoumaru was having the time of his life.
"Of course." The woman nodded, and exited like a tempest, leaving her boss to watch the closed doors with some sort of amusement on his face.
"These humans don't know what's fun… Now… I ripped her shirt off, and then what? Maybe I could learn a thing or two from this girl. She's definitely not right upstairs though." he mused, and continued to read. He didn't like the fact that that crazed girl had made him a vampire though. What did he need that for? He was perfect…
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AN: I hope you've at least smiled once. I meant to write this a long time ago, and I just did it in twenty minutes, on a break. I thought it would be funny to see how Sesshoumaru would laugh his ass off reading my stupidities. Well, got it out of my system…