Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men. Marvel does.

Kitty crept through the shadows, feeling slightly guilty. John was her friend. At least, he used to be. No, he never was her friend. He was Bobby's friend. She just assumed he was her friend too. He had smiled when she had gone after the Juggernaut. Smiled! Like he was enjoying anticipating her demise. She shook her head. She had to stay focused. She was tailing Pyro, an evil, powerful mutant terrorist.

Not to mention incredibly hot, a voice in her head chimed in.

Eww no! He's the enemy, she argued.

...

Okay, maybe a little, she admitted.

Haha, you like him! The voice teased.

I do not! Aren't you supposed to be on my side?

I'm your conscience, deary, I'm on the true side!

Wait, you're not the Professor, are you?

The voice seemed sheepish, I'm leaving now.

She was so focused on arguing with herself, that she didn't notice that the object of her spying (and, according to her "conscience", her affections) stop. She bumped into him and fell over backwards. She saw him flick his lighter. She saw the bright ball of flame and thought, this is what happens when you talk to your conscience/Professor X about the hotness of the guy you're supposed to be spying on, Kitty. You get caught. And killed. She closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable burst of pain and darkness. She heard a sigh, another click, and opened her eyes to John's hand reaching out to help her up.

"Spying 101 Kitty-Kat, never bump into the person you're spying on. It lets them know you're there."

"Why didn't you kill me just now?"

He smirked, "Did you want me to?

She sighed. "I don't know, my life pretty much sucks right now." He didn't ask her to elaborate, and for that she was glad. That would involve her telling him about getting attacked by mutant-haters, her strange conscience, how much she missed him, and other mushy stuff. And Pyro wasn't into all that kind of sickly sweet stuff. "But you're avoiding my question. Why didn't you kill me?"

John smiled faintly. "Every life has their own shadow. You're mine. If I killed you, my life would be squeaky clean. I don't want that. I like living on the lamb. I like the thrill."

She frowned, "How am I a thrill?"

"Well, you're on the goody-goody side. And I'm evil."

She glared at him. "I'm not a goody-goody, I'm just fighting for what I believe is right." She sighed, "and I don't even know if it is right anymore."

"That's because it never was right. That's why I left." She looked even more angry, and he backtracked. "I'd say just to come with me and leave them all behind, but there's someone there, isn't there?" She nodded and his fist clenched, a fire bursting into existence. "It's Bobby, isn't it?"

She nodded again, then shook her head, "Yes...No...Oh, I don't know!" She sighed. "I liked this one guy," she avoided his eyes, "and he...went away. Then the professor died and Bobby comforted me, and I didn't mean for Rogue to leave, and then when she came back he left me, and I didn't want to go after him because I didn't want Rogue to hurt again and he liked her and..." She shook, looking like she was about to cry, then stopped herself. "I never really liked Bobby. I think he just helped me when I was hurt, and that created this-this illusion that I liked him. But all along, deep down, I still liked the first guy. I just didn't want to admit it because that would mean my life would suddenly get a lot more complicated."

John smirked, and for a second, she saw a flash of his old cockiness. "The first guy didn't happen to be me, did it? Because if it was, I got a little gift for you." He grabbed her hand, pulled her close and kissed her. It was a rough, passionate, almost painful kiss. It was like the element he controlled. Not at all what she expected her first kiss to be like. It was so...John. And she loved it. Because, even though she was Shadowcat, he was the shadow in her life.

Sorry if there was any OOC-ness!

~Loony