Asuka hated dolls. All they were was a substitute for real, flesh and blood human beings. It was easier, so much easier to cling to a doll and pretend that's love then make it work out with an actual human being. A human being with thoughts, opinions, beliefs, a personality, quirks, neurosis, and flaws. Humans, in a desperate attempt to feel love, could act as dolls as well.

Being the sort of convenient person that simply cowers and does what they're told. Shinji was a person like that. A Japanese doormat that apologized frequently for his own existence. Shinji wasn't a man or even a boy, he was a punching bag that talked and breathed.

Rei was another such individual.

She was a doll that existed to be used and exploited by pretty much everyone, though higher-ups at NERV most especially and Gendo Ikari in particular. Why would a human being who willingly says they will die when commanded to even get out of bed in the morning?

If your entire existence is defined by other people then why...why don't you just end it? Rei could spare everyone a lot of time and energy by hanging herself, but she refuses. Instead, she comes to class, talks to her and Shinji, reports to NERV and battles Angels.

Every day Shinji and Rei got closer, and every day Asuka gritted her teeth and watched it happen. It's not like she cared about the idiot or the doll, but it was the fact that once again, a doll was getting attention by merely existing. Asuka was trying so damn hard and it just made her and everyone else around her hurt.

Most days when the three of them had lunch together though, Asuka could set that aside. She could hear Shinji's kind words, and see Rei's beautiful face and clever eyes and feel, for a moment, at peace. It was their version of a ceasefire, in between the drama of their daily existence. A chance to keep their so-called "friendship" functioning.

At least for another day.

Asuka liked to close her eyes and imagine Rei dead. Hanging, being strangled by Asuka's own hands, dead during a battle with the angels, anything. It would distract her from picturing Rei in her underwear, pale, beautiful skin that Asuka could embrace. It wouldn't be as warm as Shinji, but it would be so comfortable.

Asuka didn't like to picture her lips on Rei's. They were dead, cold lips and one day Rei would be gone just like her Mother and everyone else that had pretended to love her.

Asuka wondered what the purpose in living was if you were never satisfied. She couldn't come up with an answer, but she kept breathing anyway.

Shinji didn't know if he could take it anymore. And it wasn't the angels. Or the stress. Or the emotional abuse. Well to be fair, those were all things he could barely withstand as well but...there was a different worry that was becoming even more solidified in his mind.

Misato just couldn't keep running around half naked and flirting with him. It was weird and fucked up that he was super attracted to his mother figure and Misato really wasn't helping anything. Seriously it was enough that he had two beautiful and impossible to approach girls at school, dealing with Misato's curvy adult frame was just too much. He couldn't help to stare pretty much always and while Misato didn't seem to mind, Asuka did. His life was pretty much the most frustrating thing imaginable and he really wished he didn't have to deal with all this.

It was bad enough when Shinji first showed up but now...well it seems Misato's comfort level had increased and she apparently was oblivious to the effect her body could have on an adolescent male. Or at least Shinji chose to believe that because the alternative was...way too much for him to handle right now.

Shinji...he just had to keep it together and hope the situation changes or improves. Which was pretty much his strategy for all elements of his life at this point.