A/N: First off, let me just say that for the longest time I thought I had completed this fic and then when I re-read it one day I suddenly realized that half of it was somehow missing, so I went back and I have now fixed it to contain the full story and not just the first part! Lol.
Never Again.
In the glare of a neon sign
She lays her body down,
The dem walked in beside her
And he laid his money down,
He said 'don't try to scream now
But I want this one to hurt,
And tonight, my pretty one
I'm gonna get my moneys' worth.'
He said they never listened
She said they'd never understand,
That I don't do this for pleasure
I just do it 'cos I can,
I swear I didn't want to
And I swear I didn't know,
That things like this could happen
To a seventeen year old.
And I've bottled up all of these fears inside,
And I've bottled up all of this pain,
And no one and nothing can take this away,
But I won't let it happen again,
Never again...
In the haze of a smokey room
He chokes that bottle down,
It's been a month since he saw her face
Underneath the bloodstained gown,
And he thinks about that little girl
And the one he has at home,
And wonders, what if that was my little girl
Walkin' down that lonely road.
And I've bottled up all of these fears inside,
And I've bottled up all of this pain,
And no one and nothing can take this away,
But I won't let it happen again,
Never again.
Never again, no...
Maybe I'm just crazy
Or the devil got inside,
Either way my soul is gone
And I'll end this all tonight,
The one hand throws the whiskey
And the other throws the gun,
As he cries out to the heavens
'I am not my father's son!'
And I've bottled up all of these fears inside,
And I've bottled up all of this pain,
And no one and nothing can take this away,
But I won't let it happen again,
Never again.
Never again, no...
Lyrics: "Father's Son" by Three Doors Down.
Never Again.
Angel groaned as the painful screams filled his ears, and he shuddered slightly, and groaned again, as she twisted beneath him, attempting to free her wrists from his grasp, as he pinned her with his body, his breath coming in short, ragged gasps.
He cried out, in a choked yell, as he released, sating himself, and he lay there for a moment, before easing out, and lying down next to her, gently wiping the tears from her eyes, and cleaning the blood from her throat, and legs, all the while whispering hollow consolations, and meaningless apologies...
She didn't even try to get away from him now, knowing it was a pointless struggle, and that he would only hurt her worse the next time. And there would always be a next time, because no matter how hard he tried to fight it, Angel always wanted more... And Angel always got what he wanted.
He kissed her, softly, and held her as though he actually cared, but they both knew it was just a lie. A transparent lie to ease the pain. It never worked, but perhaps it made him feel better, afterwards...
He purred quietly, and stroked her hair, as he closed his eyes, already drifting off to sleep... That was how it always happened; He found her, and quietly maneuvered her into his room, and then he took her, roughly, painfully, and when he was done the lies came, sweet whispered nothings, to soothe her fears, and he held her, and for a while pretended to care... Then he went to sleep, and she left, going about her day as though nothing had happened. As if everything was okay. And no one was any the wiser.
He always told her, afterwards; "Never again... I swear it, never again..." But they both knew it was a hollow lie, a false promise of release, of freedom, because he always came back for more. Always.
Fred got up slowly, from the bed, careful not to wake him, and pulled on her clothes, moving to the bathroom to make sure she was clean enough, and to cover the marks on her throat where his teeth had pierced her flesh, then she slipped out of his room, silently, as she always did, suddenly putting on the mask of careless happiness that she always wore in view of the public.
Fred didn't know why she let him get away with it, why she couldn't tell someone, and make it stop. Part of her was afraid, afraid of what he'd do, if he found out. The other part of her still thought of him as the handsome man who'd saved her from the scary monsters... But there were some monsters that even he could never save her from...
***000***
Angel heard the door close, quietly, and he sat up, putting his head in his hands, and gasping for a moment, as the guilt swept through him. The guilt always hit him hard, afterwards, and he swore to himself; 'Never again, never again...' He could never keep that promise. Not even to himself.
He remembered the first words she'd ever said to him; "Handsome man saved me from the scary monsters..." He shook his head. No. He hadn't, because there was one monster he could never save her from... Himself.
God knows, he tried. He tried to stay away, tried to fight the growing, gnawing urges inside of him, but he couldn't do it, he couldn't fight himself... And then Angel screamed, as the guilt-ridden pain tore through his chest, burning his soul, and searing his mind, and he screamed, as she had, beneath him, and he didn't fight the pain. He deserved the pain, needed it... It was the only thing that helped him stay half sane afterwards, knowing that he was hurting just as much as she was... And maybe that was why he couldn't stop... How he kept justifying it to himself when he went to sleep each day...
And still, he swore it, whispering quietly to himself; "Never again... Never again..."
***000***
"Hey, Fred, could I talk to you for a minute?" Spike asked, stopping her in the hallway.
"Ah, yeah, sure. What about?"
"Er, it's sort of something I've been meaning to ask you for a while, er, in private, preferably..." Spike looked a little nervous about something, but Fred shrugged, and followed him into an unused office, and he shut the door, turning to her, and asking quietly; "Are you okay?"
"What?"
"I'm serious. You've bin' acting weird for a while now, and I seem to be the only one that's noticed it... Is everything okay?"
Fred nodded, quickly. "Yeah, everything's fine."
"So, there's nothing at all that you want to tell me, or maybe just talk about?"
She shook her head. "Nope. Nothing."
"Alright then, but just so as you know if there ever is something you wanna talk about, I'm here, right."
"Right. I'll keep that in mind. Thanks Spike. Well, I guess I'll see you later, huh?"
Spike nodded, distractedly. "Yeah, see ya..."
***000***
Spike paced his room, anxiously. Something was agitating him and he thought he now knew what it was; something was wrong with Fred. She'd been acting sort of strange for a while now, not noticeably strange, but subtly strange, as if she was hiding something and Spike seemed to be the only one that had actually noticed. He had a feeling in his gut that kept telling him that something wasn't right, and if there was one thing Spike knew it was that he should always listen to his gut. Something was wrong with Fred, and he was going to find out what it was if it killed him.
It was obviously something she didn't want him to know – something she didn't want anybody to know – so he doubted that bailing her up about it would do him any good, then she'd just get defensive and never talk to him again. The best he could do for now was to let her know that he was here for her, and hope that she started to trust him enough to come and talk to him whenever she was ready... Spike had never been very patient but for this, he would have all the patience in the world.
He growled, agitatedly and prayed that whatever it was wouldn't kill her before he got the chance to help her... Fred needed his help, weather she knew it or not and Spike was damn well going to give it to her, whenever she finally figured it out...
***000***
"Fred..." The soft voice behind her made her jump, and she had to repress a shiver as she felt Angels hand on her back, gently but firmly guiding her towards his office. "Can I see you for a minute?"
She nodded, knowing there was really no way out of it and followed him into the office, where he shut and locked the door, before leading her to the bedroom where, as soon as the door was closed, he turned suddenly and threw her down, roughly on the bed, growling fiercely as he tore her clothes off, stripping out of his own and climbing over her, predatorily, his teeth bared as he phased and moved forward suddenly, biting her throat as he entered and Fred fought not to scream. It only made him worse when she screamed; rougher and more violent, as the sound of it seemed to further spur him on.
He pulled her legs up over his shoulders, to get a better angle and slammed forward, hard and fast and this time Fred screamed. She always screamed eventually. Angel liked it when she screamed and he always knew how to make her do it... Angel was good at making people scream.
She felt the tears starting and wished, as always, that this time he would just kill her, that he would finally lose control and drain her dry – but he never did. He knew when to stop, knew just how much to drink so that she would still cry, still scream; so that she would still live...
It hurt so much worse this time, as he re-opened all the barely healed tears inside her, re-bruising her already battered frame, as he held her down forcefully, abusing her already beaten body until he came with a loud, guttural roar. He eased out of her, slowly, wiping away the tears and the blood, as usual and then came the softly whispered words that she so desperately wanted to be true...
"Never again... Fred, I promise... Never again..."
Then he slept, and Fred cleaned herself up, dressed and crept out of the room, back to pretending that she actually had a happy, decent life... In her head, the words repeated; 'Never again... Never again...'
***000***
Angel curled into a ball and screamed again, as guilt once again crashed over him.
'Oh, god! Why the hell can't I just die properly!'
Part of him wished she'd tell someone, put an end to it, make him stop... She never did.
'Never again... Never again...' He thought desperately to himself, wishing he could make it be true... It never was, and Angel screamed again as his soul burned itself in fire...
***000***
Fred walked in a daze to where she was going, not quite sure what compelled her to go there but certain that she should. The door to Spike's room was closed but unlocked and she knocked twice, then entered. Spike was sitting at the table, staring at a cup of blood but he looked up when she entered and said; "Fred..."
"Hey, Spike... Can I talk to you for a minute? It's sort of about something important..." And she started to tell him everything...
***000***
Spike listened as Fed talked, telling him everything and the anger boiled up inside him, mounting every second and at the same time, his dead heart broke for her and he vowed to himself; 'Never again...'
When Fred finished talking, he stood up and silently wiped the fresh tears from her eyes and he tilted her face up, gently, to look in her eyes and said; "Never again, Fred. I swear over my own dead body; Never again."
And this time, Fred believed it...
***000***
Spike smashed the door to Angel's office off its hinges and stormed into the room like vengeful thunder. Angel looked up from his desk as Spike leapt across it, slamming him backwards into the floor and punching him in the face as hard as he could, screaming bloody murder at him as he continued to pummel him, snarling fiercely. "You! Fucking! Son of a! Bitch! I'll kill you!"
He grabbed the front of Angel's coat and threw him across the room, slamming him into a wall and grabbing a fistful of hair, holding him face-down on the ground, one knee pushed into the back of his neck as he bent down to growl vehemently in his ear; "I swear to god, you will not touch her again, you bastard! It stops here, now! And I promise you, the last thing you ever see will be me driving a stake through your dead and blackened heart!"
Angel grunted and gasped out; "Please... End it... Make it stop... Never again, Spike... Please, just kill me... Never again... Never again..."
Spike rolled him over, onto his back and glared down at him with a steely gaze, his features set, hard and cold as he lifted the stake over his Sires heart and said, with a cold finality; "Never again." He plunged the stake downwards, swiftly, piercing Angel's heart and as the dust finally settled he stood up, saying softly; "Never again."
***000***
Angel didn't flinch as Spike stared down at him, stake raised, his gaze full of cold fire and ice, and with his last un-needed breath, Angel mouthed peacefully; "Never again..."
***000***
Spike walked back into his room, his face expressionless as he dropped a stake on the floor and Fred looked up at him, beseechingly, knowing in her heart, what he'd done but still needing to hear the words said.
Spike pulled her gently into a comforting embrace and said quietly; "Never again." Fred leaned into his arms, for the first time in ages feeling safe and cared for, and she whispered certainly; "Never again..."
***000***
Fins! Lol. Yay!
A/N: I actually realised after about however many months that I hadn't for some reason finished this. Lol. I have no idea what originally happened to the end of this story but now I have fixed it, and so here it is finally completed! Lolz.