Author's Note: I re-read my story the other day and decided that it could really use a prologue.

Disclaimer: iCarly is not mine.

Prologue

I keep running away, even from the good things.

"Running Away" by AM

April, Senior Year

"So where are you going to college?" the brunette teen asked slyly. "You still haven't told us..." And with that, she pouted slightly at the brown-headed tech-producer. The conversation had finally taken a turn for the awkward after they had wrapped up shooting their latest webcast.

"Yeah, where the chiz are you going?" the blonde-headed demon menacingly asked.

The producer just shook his head slightly and smiled back at both them. "You'll both see..." Neither the flirtatiousness or the menacing tone of the girls phased him at all. He had years of experience dealing with both to let these words bother him. Though he kept a calm exterior, his insides roiled with mix emotions. He loved them both, but knew his choice would hurt one of them.

"Come on Freddie. Please, for me?" He saw the scowl flit briefly across the blonde's face as the brunette girl asked him.

"That doesn't work anymore, Carly," Sam, the blonde, smiled triumphantly as he said this. "I've got to go. Going to hang out with my mom a little." He shrugged. "She's still a little freaked out that I'll be leaving for college soon..." He went over to Carly and gave her a hug and a peck on the check. He did the same for Sam before leaving the room. "Good night ladies," he called over his shoulder.

As soon as he closed the door, he heard raised voices come from the studio. Carly snapped, "he hugged me first, he's going to school with me..."

"You wish! He kissed me longer, he's going with me..." Sam replied heatedly.

Freddie sighed heavily as he slumped against the wall. He really had no idea what to do. They were his best friends, and he had feelings for both girls. Carly was his first love, and his first real relationship. Though he knew that he was just Bolivian Bacon after he had saved her life, he still felt something when they were dating. She was perfection, and he had placed her on such a high pedestal. She would always have a place in his heart no matter what she did. And he was sure he would love her until the day he died.

But his and Sam's relationship had been changing since the day they shared their first kiss. At first, frienemies, then friends, and finally best friends. Sam was there for his first aborted attempt at a relationship with Carly. When Carly was busy with after school activities, it was Sam who he hung out. If he was having difficulties with Carly, it was Sam who he turned to. And Sam seem to have finally trusted him more. When Sam's estranged father passed away, it was Freddie's shoulder she cried on. When Sam needed help with school work and college applications, it was Freddie who she turned to. They had begun to rely on each other more and more with each passing year. And he was also sure he would love her until the day he died.

The two girls continued with their heated discussion as he walked down the hallway. He sighed softly again and recalled the whole Shane incident. That had put such a strain on the relationship between the two girls. And he hated that feeling of being torn between the two friends. And now it was happening again, but this time it was because of him. He just didn't know what to do...

May, Senior Year

The past month had been excruciatingly painful for the iCarly trio. Things were fine when only two of the three were together, but when all three were together, there was a palpable tension. Taking a page out of Sam's playbook, he showed up to Carly's just in time to do the show, and then left shortly after they finished. Freddie had begun to spend more and more time alone on the fire escape, trying to escape from the decision. He had even decided to forgo the usual Senior Prom experience and spent the night drowning his sorrow in Strawberry Splats.

Freddie was getting everything ready for Graduation, when there came a knock on his front door. He heard the apartment door open and close, and then his mother called out, "Freddie, you have visitors. They're coming up..." He looked around the room, making sure nothing incriminating was out in the open, when his bedroom door swung open. Silhouetted there in the door frame were the two teen girls he really didn't want to see. They both walked to different corners of his bedroom, like boxers before a big fight. His stomach started to do flip-flops as he stared warily at the two, feeling like the unfortunate dinner caught between two hunting lionesses.

"Carly, Sam, shouldn't you two be getting ready for Graduation? After all, it is only in four hours." He looked between the two nervously.

"Freddie, we've come to an agreement that you need to tell us where you're going today..." He narrowed his eyes and looked at the brunette speaking.

"Cut the chiz and freakin' tell us already. Man up, Fredonia..." spoke up the blonde. "Carly and I both deserve to know..."

"And we had promised each other that there would no longer be any secrets between us...," reminded Carly.

The months and months of anguish finally broke Freddie. A red mist seemed to suddenly fall over his vision. "I would FUCKING tell you if I FUCKING knew what I was going to do...," he roared at both of them. Shocked looks replaced smug ones on the pair of girls. He began frantically pacing the room. "I've caused THIS. I've already hurt you both by causing you two untold anguish, just because I didn't know what the HELL I was going to do. And I really hate myself for it..." With this, he plopped himself on his bed, his head buried in his hands.

"I love you both, and I don't want to hurt either of you...," he said into his hands. "Please leave," he pleaded. "for me..."

Carly walked towards Freddie as if to give him a hug, but she glanced up at Sam. An agreement of sorts passed between the brown eyes of the brunette and the blue eyes of the blonde. Instead of completing the hug, Carly walked passed the bed, a hand resting briefly upon his head as if in benediction.

Sam stood there for a heart beat, just staring at Freddie. She turned and walked out of the room, but before closing the door, she asked, "Are we good?"

"I'm... I'm not sure...," he replied softly. With that, she softly shut the door, with all the finality of a closing tomb.

Graduation

Both girls had been frantically looking for Freddie the hour before Graduation. Numerous cell phone calls and text messages had been sent, but not a one went answered. They both shrugged helplessly at each other as they formed up to go down the aisle. And yet still during the ceremony, Carly could be seen on her phone begging Freddie to call back, while Sam subtly sent text after text to him at the same time. Both girls expected Freddie to come rushing in at the last minute, taking his place in line and hurrying across the stage. The two girls were both disappointed and heart sick at the notable absence of their brown headed tech producer when the announcer called out "Timothy Brian Bean," and then "Jennifer Anne Boone."

After the intolerable long ceremony was finally finished, both girls rushed back to Bushwell's accompanied by a very concerned Spencer. All three flew up the eight flight of stairs, and stood breathlessly in front of 8D. Catching their breaths, they could hear sobs coming through the door. The trio timidly opened the surprisingly unlocked front door and were surprised by a distraught Mrs Benson sitting on her couch, tears flowing freely down her face. She looked up at the opening of the door, and seeing who it was, she sobbed out:

"My baby's gone..."