Chapter 1 – So Alone

She had never felt so alone in all her life.

Red rimmed aqua eyes stared out the window of the bedroom as she watched the rain slide down the window panes. It was a fitting day for her mood. She never thought she would ever feel a pain this bad in her entire life and apparently she was wrong.

Amaya swallowed hard as she tried to suppress the tears from streaking down her pale cheeks once again, but nothing seemed to stop the real pain that was radiating through her chest and making her heart feel as if it were going to explode.

She had to be strong. She had to stay strong for her son.

Her son…Suddenly she wasn't thinking of Isaac as their son; he was her son. Almost as if Roman never existed. Like Isaac's thick black hair didn't remind her of his father 24/7.

She could remember everything about the day Isaac was born.

She'd gone into labor and Roman went nuts trying to get her to the hospital. The doctor's had to take her in to do an emergency cesarean because the umbilical cord was wrapped around Isaac's neck cutting off his oxygen.

Roman stayed by her side the whole time. They put his big body in those blue scrubs and Amaya couldn't help noticing how cute he looked in them. She was even happier when she found out Roman's mother had gotten a picture of him in them. Roman was sitting on a stool by her head as her doctor worked diligently to save their son. Roman had her hand in his as he whispered calming words to her as he kept her from freaking out and worrying. As soon as they heard the screams from their sons lungs Amaya looked up and could see the tears sliding down Roman's cheeks.

Amaya reached up and cupped the side of his face. "He's here big man; he's finally here."

Roman's eyes went to her aqua ones as he smiled before he leaned over and kissed her soundly on the lips before his lips traveled up and placed feather light kisses on her cheeks and forehead.

"You two should be careful that's how you got the first one. Though I'm sure I'll be seeing you back in here in about 15 months or so with another one of these little guys ready to come out. You two are too in love to just stop at one." Dr. Bernard chuckled as she worked to get Amaya sewn back up.

Roman and Amaya couldn't help laughing along with her OB. The pregnancy had been the easy part; it was the waiting part that killed them both. Neither one of them could wait for Isaac to be born.

It had been 3 years, since Amaya and Roman had married and welcomed their precious son into the world. Roman went back on the road 6 months after Isaac was born; knowing leaving Amaya and Isaac behind was the hardest thing he ever had to do in his life. But also knew Amaya and Isaac were in the capable hands of his mom, dad and even his brother and three sisters who all live in Pensacola; he knew they would take perfect care of both of them if they needed them.

Four months later, Amaya and Isaac joined Roman on the road. Roman and the rest of the boys from the Shield had been making good money since after their first year in the company Vince re-signed them on ten year deals and bumped up their pay; knowing the three members were a good investment for the WWE.

The boys got together a purchased a huge travel bus; months of traveling on a plane and in cramped compact rental cars had taken its toll on them. Seth could bring Amyra and Safina if he wanted and Dean already had his and Zaria's spot mapped. Roman couldn't have been happier with his family on the road and even happier he wouldn't miss watching Isaac growing up.

They'd both agreed once Isaac was done with potty training they would try for a second baby. They both knew they wanted a house full of kids, especially with Roman coming from such a big family and Amaya's love of children.

Isaac was officially off diapers three months ago and three months ago they started trying to get pregnant again.

So far - nothing.

Amaya was pulled from her thoughts as a pair of arms wrapped around her; one around her shoulders and the other around her waist. When she noticed the hands matched hers she knew it was Amyra. Dropping her head to the right and turning it slightly. "Hey sissy..." Amaya mumbled.

Amyra tightened her arms around her sister. "Hey sweetie, are you going to come down for dinner?" She asked her twin softly. She didn't want to argue or force Amaya to do anything; knowing right now was a touchy time. But she also knew it had been 3 days since she last ate a full meal.

Amaya nodded as she attempted to wipe her eyes, she didn't want to appear as having been crying while around Isaac. He wouldn't understand why she packed two suitcases and brought him to Amyra and Seth's house leaving his daddy at their home; alone. To him this was one big sleep over with Safina and Sammy his baby cousin that Amyra and Seth had a year ago.

They had gotten married two years ago and Samuel Rollins was the product of their love. Safina was getting ready to turn 7 and absolutely LOVED being a big sister and taking care of Sammy. When Amaya brought Isaac over Safina would play and watch the two of them as if her life depended on it.

Amyra watched as Amaya pulled away and walked towards the bathroom as she left the room and let her twin do her business. She walked downstairs and watched as Seth laid on the living room rug on his back with his legs straight up and Safina on his feet over him.

"Playing airplane again Safi?" Amyra asked as she stood by the couch.

Safina smiled big. "Yes momma. I love it when daddy does this; it's so much fun." Safina had taken to calling Seth dad 6 months before they were married and it warmed Seth's heart from the inside out.

"Yes well be sure and watch where the plane lands; if you break any of daddy's landing gear you won't be getting any more brothers and sisters." Amyra stated with a curt nod.

Seth chuckled. "Don't worry Saf; I'll test the landing gear with mommy later."

"Watch your mouth Seth Rollins." Amyra warned.

"Yes Mrs. Rollins."

Amaya walked into the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face to get rid of the redness in her eyes. It had only been 5 days since she left Roman standing in the door way of their Pensacola home.

5 days and she felt pathetic for missing her husband.

She was still trying to wrap her mind around everything she had learned. It had all come to light when Zaria and Amaya had been playing hide and seek with Isaac in the arena while Smackdown was being taped. Amaya ducked into a room while Zaria was helping Isaac find her. Then they would switch Zaria and Isaac would hide and Amaya would find them. Amaya backed up and bumped into a filing cabinet.

Charity Parties

Charity Auctions

Charity Guest Lists

Charity Proceed Bank Accounts

Curiosity got the best of her as she read the labels on the drawers; four drawers - four labels. Four slaps in the face to Amaya, Zaria, husbands of WWE Divas and wives of WWE Superstars.

She felt nausea every time she thought about what she'd read; clearly had she not gone into that room to hide she wouldn't have stumbled across that filing cabinet. But she did and she didn't even have the guts to confront Roman until they got home on Wednesday. The last week was the first time he'd gone on the road without her and Isaac and it was very foreign to not be by her husband's side for five days in the 3 years they'd been married.

She left her room at Casa Rollins and made her way downstairs and could hear Safina and Isaac squealing at the top of their lungs followed by Seth growling ferociously. She stopped at the bottom of the stair case and couldn't help actually letting out a real laugh while watching Seth chase Safina and Isaac.

Amyra sat at the dinner table as she and Amaya spoke quietly while Seth attempted to feed Sammy. Amyra looked down and watched as Seth made a face as Sammy spit out everything he had in his mouth. "Babe is he eating or spitting it out?"

Seth chuckled as he wiped his son's mouth. "He's not happy with his choice of dinner honey." He made another face as his son spit more out.

Amyra giggled. "Babe, give him his bottle and let him drink something, when he keep spitting it out he's thirsty."

Seth made the 'o' face as he handed little man his bottle and watched him suck down half the bottle. Seth gave Amyra a thumbs up. "I got this babe."

Amyra shook her head as she giggled. "Of course you do." She winked and blew a kiss.

"Yea you go ahead and keep teasing down there and you're definitely getting to try out the landing gear later." Seth chuckled; he chuckled harder when Amyra threw a dinner roll at his head and he caught it. "Thanks babe, how did you know I wanted one?"

"You looked like you needed something to stuff in your mouth." She spouted off.

"Do I even want to know what you two are innuendoing?" Amaya asked.

"No!" They stated at the same time.

Amaya laughed softly. "Okay."

Amaya watched as Isaac and Sammy were sitting in the tub together getting their bath. She felt a nudge against her side and her aqua eyes went to the right and saw Seth standing there. She smiled softly. Ever since he started dating and married her sister their friendship skyrocketed. Everything with the three way relationship was not forgotten but they'd moved on to bigger and better things in their life and were able to maintain their friendship status.

"When you get a second after you put Isaac down, come find me; we need to talk." Seth requested.

Amaya nodded as she watched him scoop up an already bathed Safina who was squealing and jog down the hallway and into her room to put her to bed. He was so good with her. Fatherhood really agreed with him, but then again it agreed with Roman too. There wasn't anything that Roman wouldn't do for or with Isaac even on 3 hours of sleep he'd get up on his days off and camp in the living room and watch cartoons all day if that's what their son wanted.

Amaya got Isaac into his batman pajamas and got him into bed as she kissed his forehead as she tucked him in.

"Momma, where daddy?" Isaac asked softly.

Amaya frowned. "Daddy's working baby. He's going to be gone for a while, but we can call him tomorrow if you want." She couldn't and wouldn't be talking to her husband but she wouldn't deny her son the chance to talk to his father.

"Promise?" Isaac asked as he held out his pinky. Amaya couldn't help chuckling; clearly the pinky promise was something Safina taught him.

Amaya wrapped her pinky around Isaac's. "I promise baby." She pushed his inky black bangs out of his eyes as she leaned over and rained kisses on his face; his squealing laughter did her heart some good. "Good night my baby boy."

"Night momma."

Amaya stood from the edge of his bed and watched as he rolled onto his side facing the wall as she backed out of the room and pulled the door closed, but not before turning his night light on for him and went in search of Seth.

Seth was sitting in the den watching ESPN but as soon as Amaya came in the TV was turned off and he watched as she walked over and sat down, pulling her feet up and sitting Indian style. "How are you holding up?"

Amaya's aqua eyes went from her lap to someone she considered a best friend. "How do you think I'm holding up?"

Seth held his hands up. "Okay that was a dumb question. How do you feel?"

Amaya blinked as tears once again streamed down her cheeks. "I don't know Seth. I feel broken. My heart physically hurts; I've never felt such pain before in my life. I've laid awake the last 5 days trying to figure out what the hell happened, how it happened and why it happened."

"Blackmail is not a game and people who have blackmail information have all the power to with it as they choose." Seth stated honestly as he reached and took her hand into his. He looked down and saw she was still wearing her wedding rings; which was a good sign…for now.

Amaya swallowed hard. "It why you transferred isn't it? It's why you asked to be a trainer at NXT 3 years ago; instead of on the road with them."

Seth nodded. "Stephanie has plenty of blackmail on every Superstar and Diva in those files you found; including me, but I was smart enough that I came clean. I told Amyra before we even got married what happened. And yea she was disappointed in me and probably even a little disgusted for a few days so much so that she didn't speak to me for about two weeks. But eventually she could understand I went through a wild streak before I was even called up to the main roster and that I learned from my mistakes when I was with you. So she was glad she got the broke in matured model instead of the young and stupid model."

Amaya sighed out a shaky breath. "Should I even ask what you did that got you on the blackmail list?"

Seth exhaled as he dropped his head. "So let me be clear before I even tell you this. Everyone has their issues and problems. When I was first signed to WWE Development down in FCW, I had just gone through one of the worst break ups of my life. I had been dating a girl from the time I was 15 until I got signed. She ended up confessing to me one night that she had started randomly sleeping with guys and not just any guys; guys I went to school with, guys I considered best friends, brothers and family. A ten year relationship was thrown in the toilet because the girl I wanted to eventually make my wife couldn't stop whoring around. And I decided that pussy and wrestling were the ONLY things that were going to make me happy."

Seth combed his fingers through his hair. "I went to a bar after an event one night. And I got stinking drunk with a few of the new girls in FCW. Someone had the bright idea to have an orgy. Me being the young and also stupid idiot I agreed and did it and ended up getting 3 of the four girls pregnant. One moment of stupidity and I and the three girls were getting an advance on our pay from none other than Stephanie McMahon to get abortions so we could continue our careers and pretend that night never happened. I grew up fast after that and let Roman and Dean kick my ass in the gym to get my head back into my career and forget about the pussy that I lost in my ex-girlfriend and the three fetuses I helped kill."

"Seth…" Amaya whimpered.

"Don't feel sorry for me Amaya. I fucked up all on my own because I let my ex-girlfriend fuck with my head. Someone who I left I let into my brain and affect me so bad I almost fucked up my WWE career before it even started." Seth sighed heavily. "Amaya whatever blackmail Stephanie and Hunter have on Roman; please remember it was before he knew you before he devoted his life, love and heart to you and to Isaac. And whatever it is; it's bad enough that he was ashamed and embarrassed enough that he did whatever he had to; to keep his career going – to keep you from finding out whatever despicable thing he did."

"What am I supposed to do Seth? You know what happened – you know what he's done. How am I supposed to ever trust him again? I know it's impossible for me to stop loving him; we have a son together - a few weeks ago we started trying to get pregnant again and now all of this blows in and blows us apart. Everything we worked for and had was safe and secure and now – I feel so alone. I don't even know where to begin with all of this; I don't know how to get the pieces back together to save my marriage and right now…I'm not sure I want to."

"Don't say that Maya. Talk to him; listen to what he has to say. Everything might make more sense once you've heard everything." Seth stated honestly as he squeezed her hand.

"I don't even want to hear him on the phone; let alone breathe the same air as him right now." Amaya shook her head. "I just don't know what to do right now except cry and be in pain."

Seth nodded as he pulled her over and hugged her tightly. "I know you're hurting Amaya. But don't give up on yourself and don't give up on him. Take as much time as you need to work up the courage to hear him out. He will wait for you until he grows old." Seth pulled back and kissed her forehead. "Go try and get some sleep. You need it." The dark circles were a sign she hadn't slept much since being there.

Amaya nodded as she stood and went upstairs; checking on Isaac once before going to the guest room which was temporarily hers. She kept the lights off as the moonlight from the sky came in the window and lit her room enough. The rain continued to pour down outside as she began to cry once more as she couldn't help missing her husband.

Amaya loved her husband; she never loved anyone as much as she loved Roman, but everything inside and outside of her body hurt physically. She felt betrayed and she felt really stupid because she didn't see this coming; she NEVER saw this coming.