Who's Cuter?
There was an envelope sitting on the bench in the middle of the locker room when the guys entered. On the outside of the envelope read, "To the cute CSI guy"
"Hey! Look! I got a love letter!" Greg seized up the envelope, showing it to the other guys.
"Who says that's for you?" Warrick yanked it out of his hand, re-reading the words on the envelope.
"What makes you think it's for you?" Nick countered, snagging it out of the taller man's hands. "I think it's meant for me."
"Not hardly!" Greg attempted to reclaim the envelope. "It's mine!"
"Yeah, Right!" Warrick crowed. "It is quite clearly mine."
"You think you're cuter than me?" Greg challenged, moving close so his face was nearly in Warricks.
"Hell yes! Just look at me! I've got the eyes! I've got the dimples!" Warrick grinned, showing that dimples he spoke of.
"I've got bigger dimples." Nick countered with a with a bigger grin. "Warrick man, I've heard a lot of girls going on about you…..they've never used the word "CUTE" to describe you. Handsome, sexy, fine and beautiful...yes. Cute….no." Tapping the envelope in his hand, he shook his head. "You're a beautiful guy…..not cute. This is NOT meant for you!
"And you think you're cute?" Warrick huffed. He was not about to admit that he had not been called cute since he was nine.
"Of course!" Nick flashed his grin again.
"You are NOT cute." Greg drooled followed by a roll of his eyes. "They always say that you are "NICE"."
"UGH!" Nick feigns a mortal wound to the heart. Falling to the ground, he groans. "The Kiss of Death!"
Laughing, Warrick yanks his friend to his feet with a sharp yank of his arm. "Hey, you ARE a NICE guy!"
"Yeah, but I'm cute too!" Nick whines causing both of his companions to roll their eyes.
"Guys….you guys are not even in the running! I am the Epitome of Cuteness! Everyone says so! Everyone thinks so!" Greg chose to vogue for them. Warrick snickered. Nick frowned.
"We're never gonna figure this one out on our own. Maybe we should get an outside opinion." Nick suggested as they finished gathering their things for the night.
"Yeah, let's go ask Cath. She'll be frank with us." Warrick agreed, leading the way out of the locker room.
"Hell No!" Nick chased after him. "Everyone knows that Catherine has the hots for you! That would not be a fair vote. In addition, she thinks of Greg as a sort of pet. I wouldn't have a snowballs chance-"
"So, we can ask Sara." Greg opted, tagging along behind them as they headed down the hall.
"Not on your life!" Warrick hissed. "For one thing, she can't stand me. She's always flirting with Nicky, and she knows you've got a crush on her. She'd be biased against me."
"And the other reason?" Nick cocked his head to one side, interested in his friends reasoning.
"Do we really want her to know about this?" Warrick waved to the envelope that was still in Nick's hand. "She'd never let us forget about it."
"That's true." Nick agreed. "But who do we ask?"
"How about Bobby? He's into guys. I bet he has an opinion on which one of us is the cutest." Greg suggested. Now it was Warrick's turn to frown.
"Look, I like Bobby and all. I'm okay with his life choices and all…..but do I really want to know that he thinks I'm hot?" He explained with a wince.
"Eww." Nick grimaced. "I don't think I want to know what he thinks about me either."
Greg nodded solemnly as they entered the break room. Gil Grissom was standing by the doorway, wearing a disapproving frown. So engrossed in their conversation, none of the men noticed Gil as Greg suggested, "Let's ask Jacqui! She is bound to think one of us is the cutest. Or we can ask Judy."
"Kung-Fu Judy! Keep her away from me!" Warrick winced at the memory of being drug across the floor by the pint-sized woman. "Just hand over the envelope. We all know it's mine!"
"Heck no! It's mine!" Nick countered, holding the envelope out of reach of the big man.
Greg took this opportunity to snag it from behind. "I am definitely the cutest one here!"
"I don't actually want to know what is going on between the three of you." Gil cut in, taking the envelope as he startled the trio. "But from what I've heard. This is the perfect case for you." Gil handed over the assignment slip to Warrick. "You're going back to Junior High tonight."
Embarrassed and red-faced, the three headed out. None of them noticed the two lab techs standing in the doorway of the trace lab.
"So, what was in the envelope?" Archie laughed.
"Nothing. I told you they'd fall for it." David Hodges grinned. "They are all a bunch of ego-maniacs!"
"You are one cruel man." Archie chuckled, shaking his head as he headed off to work.
The End.