A/N: Wow... this one took FOREVER! I had major writer's block on this story, and my muse was all snotty about the pairing. And of course, there was Spring Break in which my husband and I went on a second honeymoon! But none of that matters because I finally managed to get it done. It's a little longer than I had expected it to be, but there were things that I needed to get through. I've also decided that I am going to do the fourth one-shot I was thinking about and that one will be the next one written.
Due to the overwhelming reviews and PMs asking me about things that I have directly stated in my author's notes, I have come to realize that a lot of people don't read my author's notes. And that's fine, I guess, because I do tend to ramble, but they also tend to miss important things. That's why I'm going to start bolding important announcements.
Important: This one-shot is set in the same world as my Finnick/Annie one. Therefore there are things that were explained in that one-shot that will not be explained in this one. For example, Peeta is from District 9 in this. That was not a mistake on my part, but a choice! I am not asking you to read "Calm Before the Storm," but be aware that the story set up the universe that this one-shot is existing in.
Also Important: *sigh* Yes, there will be a sequel to Saving the Boy.
So yeah, working hard on the next one-shot. Hopefully, it'll take me less time than this one did.
First Times:
Opposites Attract
(Peeta and Johanna)
It'll be all right. They're going to do great, I think to myself as I take my place beside Finnick in the crowd. Just because neither of my tributes could string two sentence together during the mock interviews, doesn't mean that they both will do terrible at the real interview.
I mean, Caesar Flickerman was a genius at his job. Look at the wonders he managed to pull off with me. Finnick says that I don't give myself enough credit, but I think he gives me too much. He's always going on about how smart I was for the way I acted in the arena, but I disagree with that. The truth is that I had been a terrified twelve year old who knew how to hide. Yes, my camouflaging skills kept me safe from the eyes of the other tributes, but it had been luck that the Gamemakers had lost track of me in the chaos of the initial bloodbath.
I was the reason why tributes were injected with trackers now.
I had also been fortunate when the other two final tributes, who were undoubtedly frustrated after weeks of looking for me, got into an argument with each other. Words were soon backed up by weapons and suddenly I was the sole remaining tribute of the 66th Hunger Games.
Which is why it's so baffling to me that anyone would think I would make a good mentor.
However, it doesn't seem to matter to anyone that I'm horrifically under qualified to do this. And at least I care about my tributes, which is a lot more than I can say for Barlia, my mentoring partner. She always seems to regard them as little more than room decorations for all the attention she gives them. Barlia told me that it was too much trouble to worry about kids that were doomed to die and that she would rather put that energy into enjoying the amazing Capitol cuisine.
And as awful as it was, I kind of understood what she was trying to say. Maybe it would be easier on me if I didn't care, but that wouldn't be fair to my tributes. It had only been three years since I was in their shoes, so I could still easily relate to how terrified they must feel.
"You're biting your nails again," Finnick tells me. "I swear, you get like this every year, Peet. I think you might be more nervous than those kids."
"I doubt it," I tell him, frowning. "Mazia hasn't said a word since this morning and I was certain that Talm was going to throw up in the elevator."
Finnick laughs at this. "So what you're saying is that I shouldn't expect much from them. But don't worry, I'm in the same boat. Both of my tributes are attractive enough, but neither of them were gifted with personality to back it up."
"Not like you were," I say, trying not to smile.
"Don't think I don't hear that teasing tone in your voice, young man," Finnick says, ruffling my hair again. "I think I might be rubbing off on you."
"You say that like it's a bad thing," I tell him.
"It could be," Finnick says, some of his humor gone. "Just don't become too much like me; you're too good for that."
I shift uncomfortably in my seat. "Don't say things like that."
The anthem starts to play through the speakers, preventing Finnick from responding. My nails find their way under my teeth again, as I nervously watch each tribute take the stage for their three minutes with Caesar. None of them are terrible, but none of them have stood out, either. My heart goes out to all of them because I know that it is not easy being up there, trying to be charming and endearing while knowing all the while that this might be the last night of their life.
Finnick elbows me in the side suddenly, "There's your sweetheart." He points to the gorgeous girl from District 7 that had caught my eye at the Opening Ceremony.
"She's not my sweetheart," I say, blushing. "I found her interesting, is all."
He snorts, not believing me. I do have to admit that it wasn't my best lie, especially since now I can't take my eyes off her.
She looks amazing in the white slip dress that she's wearing and I'm slightly disappointed that her stylist chose to leave her long bangs covering her face. I watch as she stands up from her chair and anxiously twists her hands as she shuffles her way to Caesar.
I catch the pitying look on the interviewer's face for the one second that it's there. And then Caesar is back to being the eternally cheerful host that Panem knows and loves. When she gets to his side, he takes her hand and places a light kiss on it. It almost appears as if she's going to start crying, so he lets go of her hand immediately.
"So, Johanna Mason," he says, and she jumps slightly at this. "You look very pretty tonight. But then again, I think you always look pretty, don't you?"
She shakes her head and quietly mutters something that the microphones doesn't quite catch.
"I'm sorry," Caesar says, leaning in close to her. "What was that?"
She mutters again, her voice at the same volume as before.
Caesar sits up straight and laughs as if he heard and understood what she had said. "You can say that again."
"And maybe this time, she could do it louder so we could hear her," Finnick whispers to me.
"Shhh!" I tell him, not wanting to miss a second of her interview.
Caesar asks her a couple more question that Johanna answers in her not-quite-audible tone; I can feel the Capitol crowd growing restless around me and I can see the amusement on the faces of the tributes of the first two Districts.
Suddenly, I hear a yell from my right, "Girl, we can't fucking hear you! Talk louder!" I turn to see that it came from Ruta, District 7's female mentor.
Johanna looks mortified and lowers her gaze to the floor as she nods quicky. I can't even imagine the inner turmoil that the poor thing must be going through right now.
Caesar tries to play it all off with a joke, but I know that the audience has pretty much already given up on this girl.
"So, Johanna, why don't you tell us which of the Hunger Games that you have seen has been your favorite?" Caesar asks, patting her on the shoulder.
"Um, my favorite?" Johanna asks, her voice cracking in the middle of the question. "The 66th Hunger Games."
I sit up straighter at her answer, knowing that the camera would be on me in a second. Finnick mirrors my change in posture, because no doubt he'll be included in the shot.
"You didn't need to think about that one," Caesar says, grinning. "That's the year that our handsome little Peeta Mellark won, is it not?"
Johanna nods quickly and when she realizes that the movement was insufficient, she expands. "Yes, that's the one."
"Now, I'm all aflutter with curiosity," he tells her. "You must tell me why that particular one is your favorite."
The girl is quiet for a second. "It had a lot of trees."
Finnick nearly chokes as he tries to hold back his laughter and I can't do anything but shake my head at him. She's from the lumber district, so of course she'd be fascinated by trees. I can't believe I had actually allowed myself to think that it might have had something to do with me.
Caesar laughs good-naturedly at her answer. "I remember that. So I take it that you hope that the arena has a lot of trees in it?"
"Y-Yes." Her voice trembles.
"You are such a sweet thing," he tells her, his voice becoming soothing. "I am willing to bet that you're the favorite of your parents. Am I right?"
She shakes her head and she rubs at her eyes, probably wiping away tears before they can fall. "My big brother is."
Caesar lets out an uncomfortable laugh before saying, "Oh, well… Maybe you'll be their favorite when you come back."
Johanna bursts into tears at this, burying her face in her hands. She spends the remainder of the interview like this, her cries nearly drowning out Caesar's attempts at continuing to question her. Finally the buzzer sounds out and she's allowed to go back to her seat.
The rest of Panem focuses their attention on her district partner, who is now being interviewed, but I keep my eyes on her. A little while after she sat down, I notice her lift her head slightly from her hands. It's surprising to see her tearless eyes, but even more surprising is the intelligence that shines through them. I watch as she carefully scans the crowd until her eyes meet mine. I think she smiles at me, but I can't be sure because only her eyes are peeking out from behind her hands. However, the next second she covers the rest of her face, letting out a loud sob.
I find the whole thing to be so odd that it would have made a heck of a lot more sense to me if I had just imagined it. Because of this, though, I keep watching Johanna so intently that I miss almost all of Mazia's interview. The little I catch of it, however, tells me that I didn't miss much.
Poor Caesar. He really doesn't get enough credit, does he?
When Mazia's interview ends and she starts making her way back to her seat, I know that she probably didn't get the sponsor's attention. My only hope now is that Talm pulls off an amazing interview; but from the look on the boy's face, it looks like that's not going to be happening.
Caesar introduces Talm to the crowd and then turns to the boy, "So, Talm, District 9, right? The Capitol sure must seem wondrous to you after all those factories and the endless fields of grain. What has struck you as the biggest difference between District 9 and the Capitol?"
Talm opens his mouth and instead of words, his lunch comes spilling out. And not just a little, either; but everything that was in his stomach.
"Oh no," I say, as I take in the mess that my tribute has made of himself and the stage. Caesar had shown some previously unbeknownst cat-like reflexes when he saved himself from getting hit with the contents of Talm's stomach.
Haymitch, the sole mentor for District 12, punches me in the shoulder. "HA! You District 9 boys sure know how to make an impression, don'tcha?"
Finnick doesn't even try to hold back his laughter this time. He's not the only one as it seems like the entire crowd is laughing at the poor boy's misfortune. Sadly, rules are rules; so Talm is forced to continue with his interview, in spite of being covered in mostly digested food and bile. At least Caesar moves away from the mess from the stage, but no one makes a move to clean it up.
The rest of the show seems to drag for me, although I'm sure it was even worse for Talm. He had been forced to go back to his seat after his interview, instead of being allowed to go and get cleaned up. It's times like these that I can't help but feel furious at the Capitol. I understand the need for strength in leadership but I can't get over the government's lack of compassion.
These are dangerous thoughts, I tell myself. A fifteen year old Victor like myself should be concerning myself with finding a pretty, vapid District 9 girl to make me forget about all the horrors of Panem. Well, at least that's what Finnick tells me I should be doing. Personally, I think I'd be better if I could find myself a good girl with brains and a strong personality.
Someone like Annie.
I wanted someone who could make me as happy as she made Finnick. I can always tell when he's thinking about her because he suddenly gets this big stupid grin on his face. He seems to be wearing that particular grin a lot this trip. My only concern about the relationship is if Annie will be able to continue being so accepting of Finnick and the things that the Capitol forces him to do. I know that the whole thing must be hard on her, but I hope that she doesn't end up breaking Finnick's heart because I don't think that he'll be able to take it.
My eyes land on Johanna and I can't help wondering if it wouldn't just be easier to be with someone who suffers your same fate.
I hear Finnick let out a loud sigh beside me and I turn to look at him. He shakes his head as he whispers to me, "Don't get attach to her, Peet. She's not going to last very long; hell, she couldn't even handle a simple interview."
"Having trouble with the interview doesn't necessarily mean that one will have trouble in the arena," I remind him.
"Obviously you're not wrong about that or I don't think we'd have any Victors from District 2," Finnick says, laughing. "However, getting a training score of 2? Even you have to admit that doesn't speak highly of her survival skills."
I shrug at him before I say, "That's true, but I can't help but think that no one's giving her the credit she deserves."
"Maybe you're right," he tells me. He gives the girl from District 7 a quick look and mutters under his breath, "But I doubt it."
It only took sixteen days for Johanna Mason to prove me right. She had kept up her scared little weakling routine until almost the very end. Because no one had perceived her as a threat, she had been pretty much ignored for most of the Games. It wasn't until there were only a handful of tributes left that the real Johanna began to shine through. Her small frame belied a huge reserve of strength and her aim with her throwing axes was impeccable.
I will never forget how she looked, covered in the blood of those she had nearly decapitated with her weapons, when she was announced the winner.
Now I watch as an endless stream of Capitol citizens carefully approach her at her Victory Banquet, I think back at how each and every one of these people had written her off. Johanna looks so different now that she's not playing the part of a frightened girl. She's still as beautiful as ever, but I do miss the façade of innocence that she had put out there previously.
She's bored with the conversation and she's not bothering to hide it. Johanna rolls her eyes and looks over the crowd and we meet eyes for the first time since the night of the interviews. She smirks at me and the woman who was talking to her turns and I can see that it's Nikia Blith. Nikia grins and enthusiastically waves me over.
I gulp hard and I wish that Finnick wasn't with one of his customers right now. But he is, so I'm on my own with this. I force a smile on my face and walk over to the two of them. Nikia's smile grows wider with ever step I take towards her. There is no doubt in anyone's mind that she will be the first one to purchase me. She had been lobbying to try me out before I hit the appropriate age; however, as this would be my last Capitol appearance before my sixteenth birthday, it would seem like she didn't get her wish. Then again, she could just drag me off to a room right now.
Nikia, obviously not noticing my distress, immediately links her arm through mine the second I reach them. She places her hand on my chest and says, "Oh, Peeta, look at you! You just keep growing in the most delightful ways!"
"You are always too kind, Mrs. Blith," I say. Then, using a move that I learned from Finnick, I move the arm linked to mine so I can kiss that hand. And now that I'm free from her literal clutches, I step out of her reach.
"Hey there," Johanna says to me and that's when I notice that in moving away from Nikia, I've moved closer to Johanna.
"Hi," I say, hoping that I'm not blushing too hard.
Nikia looks between the two of us. "Have you two not met? How dreadful of my manners! Peeta, darling, allow me to introduce you to the… interesting Johanna Mason."
"Nice to meet you," I say and I take her hand.
Just about when my lips are mere inches from her hand, Johanna grips my hand suddenly and says, "Don't you dare kiss it."
I try to drop her hand, but she's holding on to mine. "I didn't mean anything by it; I'm sorry," I tell her, feeling like such a fool.
"Don't be," she tells me, her smirk reappearing on her face. "It's just not my hand that I want you to put your lips on."
"Johanna!" Nikia exclaims, and I think I can hear a touch of aggravation in her voice. "That wasn't terribly polite, you know."
"Fuck being polite," Johanna says, rewarding the Capitol woman with an icy stare. "Politeness didn't make me the Victor, ya know?"
Nikia sputters a bit and I take the opportunity to diffuse the situation a bit, "Mrs. Blith, that is an absolutely ravishing dress you're wearing. Is it new?"
The woman grins at me and I know everything is fine. She puts her hand to her chest and nods. "Why, yes it is! How did you know?"
Because it's always a new dress. However, I just say, "Oh, it was a lucky guess."
Suddenly, Johanna reminds me that she still hasn't let go of my hand when she starts walking away from Nikia, pulling me along behind her.
I give Nikia an apologetic smile, and allow Johanna to lead me away to a sparsely populated area of the room. It's only then that she drops my hand and turns to me, "How long do you got before you have to start fucking her?"
My eyes nearly bug out of my head. I can't believe that she had been informed about that so soon. "I'm thinking it'll be the next time I see her."
"The Victory Tour, then?" Johanna asks.
"Yeah. I'll probably be on the train to the Capitol right after you leave District 9," I tell her. "I think that's how it usually goes."
Her face hardens. "I turn sixteen in a few weeks. That means that I don't even get six months before I'm being sold off. Hell of a Victory Tour, huh?"
"I'm sorry," I say. "At least I had a few years to accept my fate; here you are, barely out of the arena, before you're getting thrown to the wolves."
She shakes her head. "I don't know. I think I'd prefer this way; all that time to think about what was going to happen to me would have driven me crazy."
I nod, knowing what she means. My eyes scan the room and I wonder how many of them will be paying to spend time with me. "I just hope that I'm not as popular as Finnick."
"I've heard that he does get around. So, do you ever get jealous about him being with all these other people?" Johanna asks.
"Why would I be jealous?"
"Because you two are together?"
My jaw drops and I shake my head quickly. "Together? No! We're not! I mean, he's my friend and that's it. I mean, he's got a girlfriend in District 4!"
Johanna laughs. "Relax, I was just teasing you. After all, I saw the way you were staring at me on the night of the interview."
I blush. "You were fascinating in your interview."
"Oh, please," she says with a scoff. "You got all hard at the little innocent tribute who couldn't contain her tears. Are you disappointed that it was all an act and that you can't corrupt the poor sweet thing I was pretending to be?"
"No," I say, rather quickly. "I mean, I never thought about doing that!"
"Of course you didn't," she says. "You're much too good for that, aren't you. Peeta Mellark, 'The Victor with the Bloodless Hands.'"
I frown; I've never really liked the nickname and her mocking tone does nothing to change that fact. "You don't like me, do you?"
She looks surprised. "I don't remember saying anything of the sort."
"I kinda read between the lines a bit," I tell her.
"Well, you read it wrong, then," she says. "I don't dislike you, Peeta; I just don't know how you've managed to stay the way you are."
"I don't even know what you mean."
"It doesn't matter," she tells me, before changing the subject. "So, you mentioned Finnick having a girl… do you have one, too?"
"No," I say. "Girls in District 9 aren't exactly interested in spending time with me."
"I find that hard to believe."
"Why's that?"
"You're attractive, you're sweet, and you're rich." she says. "You should have girls throwing themselves at you."
"I'm also a constant reminder of the Hunger Games," I remind her. "And most of the time, people just want to forget about that."
"Great," she says. "Yet another thing that I can look forward to."
"Maybe it won't be so bad with you," I say.
"Doubt it. At least you were well-liked you before you got reaped," she says. "Can't say that about me, you know?"
"Well, I don't know about them," I start. "But I like you."
The corners of her lips wriggle a bit as if she's fighting a smile. "I'm glad," she says before letting out a groan. "I should probably get back to talking to these Capitol fools."
"You probably shouldn't call them that out loud," I warn.
"Oh, please," she says dismissively. "I doubt they even know I'm insulting them. Besides, what are they going to do to me? They've already thrown me in the arena and are going to be selling my body soon, remember?"
"Johanna," I say, taking her hand. She looks up at me with her chocolate eyes. "Please, just be careful, okay?"
"It's cute that you're so worried about me," she tells me as she pulls her hand away. She bites her lip suggestively, before she starts backing away from me. "Maybe I'll let you try and protect me a bit when I see you on the Tour."
The way her eyes travel up and down my body makes me wonder if I'm not going to need some protection myself.
The months pass and I'm unable to take my mind off of Johanna. And while I do appreciate that Finnick is concerned about my infatuation with the newest victor, I wish he could understand that I can't help the way that I feel. And maybe we're not a perfect match, but I just can't deny that there's something that just draws me to her.
It's finally the day that Johanna's Victory Tour stops in District 9. I had spent the previous night pacing the floors of my house in Victor's Field. I am so ridiculously anxious about seeing her again, so I try to keep my mind of it by baking a little.
I get so absorbed in the task that I lose track of time and when I'm finally taking the elaborate baked goods out of the oven, I realize that I need to hurry up if I want to make it to the train station on time. I shower and dress quickly and make up enough time that I even have a few minutes to spare to drop off the baked goods at my parents' bakery.
I lost a little time chatting with my dad, so I barely make it to the station on time. In fact, I can hear the train whistle just as I step onto the train platform. I remind myself to breathe as I feel my stomach tie itself in knots. The train has barely even stopped when Johanna leaps onto the platform. She scans the surrounding crowd quickly, and a grin spreads on her face when she notices me.
"There you are," she says to me and beckons me closer with her finger. "Come here and give me a proper hello, won't ya?"
I sport my own grin as I walk towards her and envelope her in a hug. I don't know what possesses me to do that and suddenly I am worried that I've overstepped my bounds. I pull away from her so I can apologize for my actions when she takes my face in her hands and kisses me. I wrap my arms tighter around her and kiss her back. My mind races and all I can think about is how nice she smells and how soft her lips are and that this was definitely not how I had imagined my first real kiss to be like.
The shocked reactions of all those around us causes me to pull away from her. She grins at me before posing for all the photographers who are currently snapping picture after picture of the two of us. I try to smile but I'm so confused about all that's just happened that I doubt I succeed.
I want to ask Johanna what that whole scene was about, but I know that it is neither the time nor the place for such conversations. She has a busy schedule ahead of her, but maybe she'll manage to find a little bit of free time so that we can have a conversation about it.
Unfortunately, I have to wait until the dinner at the Justice Building before I am able to find Johanna alone. She seems completely different from the smiley girl from this morning and a lot more like how she was when we were officially introduced.
"Hey, Johanna," I say, walking up to her. "If you have a minute, do you think that you and I can talk about what happened this morning?"
She nods and she slips her hand into mine. "So, you're the one who's from around here; why don't you take me somewhere private?"
I hesitate. "I don't know if it's a good idea to leave the dinner before it has even started," I say, looking around nervously.
"It'll be fine," she tells me, soothingly. "I'm not asking you to bring me out of the building and we're only going to be gone a few minutes. No one will even notice I'm gone."
Everything in my body is telling me that I shouldn't agree to this; that it is only going to end poorly. But all it takes is for me to look into those pleading brown eyes of hers and I'm sold. I sigh, defeated. "Okay, let's go, then."
I lead her out into the hall and we make our way to a room that I know will be empty. Sometimes when the annual Victor's dinner gets to be too much for me, I retreat into this room for a little while so I can compose myself. I have a sinking feeling that I'm probably not supposed to be in this room; but I've never actually been told otherwise, so I believe we should be safe in here.
Johanna lets go of my hand the second that I close the door and she flops onto the oversized couch, bringing up a cloud of dust all around her. She coughs a little at that. "If I didn't know that beggars shouldn't be choosers, I would totally yell at you about not finding us a cleaner room."
"It's not so bad," I say, wiping off the seat next to her, before sitting down myself. I try not to inhale the cloud of dust that seems to permeate the air now. "And you did say that you wanted somewhere private."
"You're right," she says. "I did. So… what about this morning do you want to talk about?"
Was she joking with me? "Well, I would think that would be pretty obvious," I say. "I thought we should talk about the kiss."
"Oh, that?"
"Yes, that!" I stare at her in shock over her nonchalance about the subject. "Why are you acting like it wasn't a big deal?"
"Because it was just a kiss," she tells me, rolling her eyes. "You shouldn't be reacting like this. After all, you're going to be a prostitute for the Capitol in a few days."
"I know that," I say defensively. I don't know why she had to bring that up right now. "But what does that have to do with the reason that you kissed me?"
"Heh… That was your first kiss, wasn't it?"
I mentally debate whether or not to lie to her, ultimately deciding to be honest. "Yes, it was. So what?"
"Then I'm doubly glad that I did it," she tells me. "You don't deserve to have some Capitol fool take your first kiss from you."
I hadn't thought about that. "Oh, huh. I guess I should thank you, then… For saving me from that fate, I guess."
She smiles. "You're welcome."
"That still doesn't explain why you kissed me, though."
"Because I was happy to see you," she says. "You've been the only person since I've left the arena who has treated me like a normal person."
"Yeah, I know what you mean," I say, remembering how hard I tried to convince my family to stop treating me like a different person entirely. It hard for me, especially considering how close my father and I had been previous to the Games. Things between us have gotten better throughout the years, but I still don't feel like he sees me as the boy he raised, but maybe I've fooled myself into thinking that I am still that boy. "Being a Victor means having a bit of an isolated life."
"Have sex with me," she says suddenly.
"Excuse me, what?" I ask, convinced that I must have misheard her.
"Have sex with me," she says again, this time it's accompanied with an exasperated sigh. I'm still unconvinced that I'm hearing her correctly. She scowls, and folds her arms across her chest. "You're going to make me say it again? Fine. Have sex with me… please."
"Why?"
"Because I'm a virgin and I don't want to have my first time with a nasty fat man from the Capitol," she says, nearly spitting out the words. "You are my last chance to lose my virginity in the way that I choose. Don't you want that for yourself?"
"Of course," I tell her.
"Then let's do it," she urges me. "The Capitol has taken so much from us already, so let's not let them take this from us."
She has a point and it would be nice to have a nice memory of sexual activity to help me through the rest of the others. And I've never been told that I shouldn't have sex, either, so I don't even think that we would be doing anything wrong.
Now convinced, I nod at her. "All right."
"Yeah?" Johanna asks, a wide smile breaking on her face. "You mean it? You'll have sex with me right now?"
"Yeah."
She kisses me and I pull her into my embrace. The room, with its dust and musty smell, just fades away. All my worries and anxious thoughts disappear, leaving me with those of how good she looks, feels, and tastes.
And in Johanna I find contentment.
Almost thirty minutes later, we begin dressing. I keep sneaking glances at her as she attempts to get back into the complicated dress she had been wearing. She scowls and huffs as she doesn't quite manage to make it work.
"Here," I say, coming up behind her. "Let me help."
She nods, but doesn't say a word. Working together, we manage to get the dress back on her in a way that looks close enough to how it originally was.
I stand back, looking over the finished product. "Well, I think that's as good as we are going to get it. I just hope that no one notices the difference."
Johanna turns and looks right at me. "Hey, Peeta? I just wanted to thank you for this. I mean for the sex, not the helping with the dress thing. Although, I guess I should thank you for that, too."
I give her a nervous laugh, "It's alright, Jo. The… sex was a mutual thing, remember? And as for the dress? I think that was a little bit of self-preservation on my part."
"Maybe," she says, and she moves closer to me and lifts up a little to press her lips against mine. "But you didn't have to make it feel good for me."
My face burns. "Listen, we've been gone a really long time now and there's no way that they haven't noticed that you are missing; we should probably get back to the dinner before we get into a load of trouble."
She kisses me again before she loops an arm around mine. "You're probably right," she says, sighing. "I guess we should go back then. And if anyone asks where we were, just tell them that we got lost as you were showing me around the Justice Building."
We don't make it very far out of the room before we are descended upon by Peacekeepers. Johanna seems unfazed and tries to explain what happened. The Head Peacekeeper doesn't look very convinced and I decide to step in and help. I try to dredge up every ounce of charm that Finnick insists I have as I lie, corroborating Johanna's story. It's only when I've finished that the men around me relax and nod, but they still insist on escorting us back to the dinner.
Not surprisingly, neither of us argue.
The rest of the dinner goes by in a blur. I find myself often lost in thoughts of my first time. I do manage to notice that it seems as if Johanna and I are actively being kept apart for the rest of the night. When the dinner ends, Johanna is rushed out of sight before I am even given a chance to say goodbye to her. I am severely disappointed by that but I know that I will get the chance to see her again real soon at the Capitol.
I desperately need a shower; a very long one with scalding hot water, and even then I doubt I'll stop feeling so unclean.
Finnick had not adequately prepared me for this. I can't blame him, though, because I'm not sure how I would be able to accurately explain the horrors of my situation to someone. I try to push the memory of what I just did out of my head as I dress myself. My newest sexual partner is still sprawled on the bed, sighing in contentment.
"You know, this was the BEST birthday present, EVER," the girl says, turning onto her side to look at me. "I can't believe that I had been disappointed when I found out that my parents had gotten you instead of Finnick!"
I don't know quite how to respond to that so I just give her a smile and nod politely and then I continue my search for my underwear.
"All my friends are going to be so jealous," the girl continues, and I can feel her eyes lingering on the bare bits of my body. "Volusa will probably cry her eyes out! She had your face tattooed onto her back last year."
I shudder at the thought of there being a girl in the Capitol with my face drawn on her person, but continue my silence. And where the hell is my underwear? I thought I had placed them on top of my slacks so I could avoid this very thing!
"Peeta?"
"Hmmm?"
"Are you looking for these?"
I look up to see the girl is twirling the very thing I was searching for around her finger. "How clever of you," I say, holding out my hand for the undergarment. "You managed to find it for me!"
She grins and doesn't make a move to hand me back the piece of material. "I'll give it back to you on one condition."
"And what's that?"
"Give me a kiss," she demands, sitting up in bed. "A real one, like the one you gave that awful thing from District 7 a few days ago!"
I wince a little at that, but I suppose it was silly of me to have hoped that the kiss Johanna and I shared at the train station would not become national news. "All right," I tell her and I lean in and try to put as much enthusiasm into the kiss as possible.
When I stand up again, she flops back onto the bed, once again sighing in contentment. "That was amazing," she tells me.
"Thank you," I say as I snatch up my underwear from her hands. I pull them on quickly and continue to get dressed. She starts talking again and I tune her out, really focusing on trying to get out of the room as soon as possible. When I'm finally presentable, I place a small kiss on her cheek and rush out into the hallway before she can do anything to stop me.
It has been this way ever since I arrived at the Capitol after Johanna's visit a few days ago. The whole situation has been made worse by the lack of other Victors. Without any suitable candidates for the sexual trade from Districts 10, 11, or 12, I was the first one to arrive at the Capitol. Kriila, who is from District 6, will be next as her train is scheduled to arrive today. Of course, next year will be different with Johanna arriving a day prior to Kriila.
My heart pounds at the mere thought of the dark haired girl who gave me her virginity. I haven't been able to speak to her since she left District 9, but I have seen plenty of pictures and videos of her time in the other Districts. I am pretty happy to have seen that I have been the only person that Johanna has greeted with a kiss; but then again, she hasn't gotten to District 4 yet.
I nearly laugh out loud at the mental image of Finnick having to explain to Annie about why he was kissed by the newest Victor.
But all the humor is sucked out when I remember that Johanna will be doing much more than kissing other people soon. And now that I have experienced the whole thing firsthand, I am that much more disgusted with the idea of Johanna having to go through with it. She doesn't deserve to have this fate and I just wish that I could come up with a way to save her from it.
Due to a scheduled appointment with Nikia Blith, I arrive a little late to the Victory Dinner at the President's mansion. I quickly scan the room, looking for the guest of honor. Not finding her, I head over to where Finnick is standing.
"Where is she?" I ask immediately upon reaching my friend.
He laughs. "No 'hello?' No 'I'm sorry I'm late?' I'm afraid that your manners are going to pot, Mr. Mellark."
I groan at this. "You're right," I say. "Let's try this again. Hello, Finnick, I'm sorry I'm late. Where is she?"
Finnick laughs again. "Yes, thank you. That was much better. However, in answer to your question, I don't know."
Cashmere suddenly joins us, her brother's arm wrapped around her waist. "Ooh, something that Finnick doesn't know? What is it?"
"Johanna Mason's whereabouts," Finnick answers, his tone making it obvious how much he dislikes the siblings from District 1.
"Lost your girl, have we?" Gloss asks, tightening his grip on his sister. "Maybe you should have kept a better eye on her."
"She's not my girl," I say, trying not to roll my eyes.
"That's not what I heard," Cashmere retorts. "After all, you two did disappear for quite a bit of time during her visit to District 9."
I stiffen up at that. People knowing about the kiss was one thing. I mean, that had been in public and in front of dozens of cameras. But I wasn't aware that our little disappearing act had become a topic of conversation.
"That was a very stupid thing you did," Gloss says, clucking his tongue at me. "I always thought you smarter than that, Peeta."
"Maybe you and Cashmere could give him some pointers, then," Finnick jumps in. "After all, you two know all about being discreet about your little dalliances."
Cashmere scowls at this and the veins in Gloss' neck begin to bulge. "And just what is that supposed to mean?" Cashmere asks shrilly.
"You don't really want me to explain it, do you?" Finnick questions her, tilting his head to one side. "That wouldn't be very smart now, would it?"
"Come on, Sister," Gloss says, leading Cashmere away from us.
Before they've gotten very far, though, she turns around and says, "And by the way, I do know where your little girlfriend is… She's with President Snow."
My heart drops to my feet as Cashmere turns back around and the two of them walk away haughtily from Finnick and me. "That's not good," I say, somehow managing to find my voice.
"No, it's not," Finnick agrees. "But it might have nothing to do with what happened at District 9, though. After all, you've been in the Capitol for over a week now and President Snow hasn't requested your presence, right?"
"He hasn't!" I say, nodding enthusiastically. Finnick had a point there and suddenly I wasn't feeling so anxious about the whole thing. But if Snow's interest in Johanna wasn't about what happened in District 9, then… "Why do you think that he's talking to her?"
Finnick shrugs, obviously not being able to come up with an answer that wouldn't upset me again. I search the crowd again, hoping that maybe Johanna managed to sneak into the party without me noticing . I don't see her but I do see one of Snow's personal guards coming towards Finnick and me. I can guess who the man is coming for and it's not my friend.
When the Peacekeeper reaches us, he immediately addresses me, "Mr, Mellark, President Snow wishes to speak to you; so please, follow me."
Finnick gives me a sympathetic look as I begin to follow the man though the throngs of people at the dinner. We leave the room and head down a very long hallway. I have never been in this part of the mansion before, and I can't say that I ever had wished to. It takes several minutes before we get to a large oak door at the end of the hallway. There are two very large men positioned on either side of the door and the guard that I was following gives the door a loud knock. He then opens it and shoves me inside before closing the door again behind me. Almost immediately I find myself dizzy from the overwhelming stench of roses.
"Ah, Mr. Mellark," President Snow says, smirking at me. "So good of you to join us; we were just speaking about you."
I turn to look at the other occupant of the room. She is sitting far too close to Snow for my comfort, so I can imagine how she must be feeling about it. I notice how beautiful she looks in the dress she's wearing but the most striking thing about her is the defiant look she has on.
"I thought that this was a private matter," Johanna says, not bothering to shoot me a look. "Why is Peeta even here?"
Yes, that was a good question; one that I, myself, would like to have the answer to. Snow, surprisingly, obliges, "Is he not the reason for your recent decision?"
"I never said that," she retorts, barely managing to control her anger.
"Miss Mason, I did not get to where I am today without being able to infer things," he says, setting his cold eyes on her. "So, I decided to include Mr. Mellak in our conversation as it is going to involve him as well."
My eyes quickly dart between the two of them as President Snow and Johanna speak to each other. I keep silent during all this because I have no idea what is going on and neither one seem to be very forthcoming with the specifics of the conversation.
"It doesn't involve him!"
"Oh, but it does, Miss Mason," Snow says, his voice soft. "You didn't think that you could make a decision like that without there being repercussions, did you?"
Repercussions? That doesn't sound good, does it?
Johanna pales. "Peeta had nothing to do with it; he didn't even know about it!" Her voice cracks slightly a couple of times. "Please don't punish him for what was solely my decision."
"I am not going to punish the boy," Snow says, his eyes resting on me. "Not unless you considered dating you a punishment."
Johanna blinks. "What?"
"Excuse me, sir?" I ask, finally breaking my silence.
"Ah, poor Mr. Mellark is probably undeniably confused by now," he says, nodding in my direction. "Miss Mason, why don't you tell him what prompted this little tête-à-tête."
Yes, please, I think as I turn to Johanna for answers.
"I decided that I'm not going to let the Capitol sell my body," she tells me. "I just can't allow some disgusting pig to buy the right to fuck me like that."
"Oh, Miss Mason… language," Snow scolds, shaking his head in disappointment.
"Jo," I jump in, afraid of what Johanna's reaction will be. "Are you sure about this? Do you understand what might-"
"The only thing that I understand is that I can't do it," she says to me. "I thought you, of all people, would get that."
I nod slowly, because I do get where she coming from. However, I can't decide whether I admire her bravery or pity her impetuousness. I turn back to look at Snow. "You mentioned something about me dating her, sir?"
"Oh, yes," he says rewarding me with a thick-lipped smile. "I will grant Miss Mason's wish on the condition that the two of you carry on a very loving and very publicrelationship."
"I'm sorry?" I ask, trying to keep my voice as polite as possible. "I don't think I understand what you mean, sir."
"But you do, Mr. Mellark," he tells me. "And let me be clear when I say that it is the only way that I will allow Miss Mason to shirk her Victor's duties."
"What about Peeta?" Johanna asks, her voice taking on an indecipherable tone. "Will he be excused from his… duties, as well?"
My eyes widen but I try to keep myself from getting my hopes up. President Snow is silent for what feels like full minutes, studying me before he nods. "Yes, I think that would be for the best."
I feel my heart explode in my chest and I can control all these words tumbling out of my mouth, "Oh, yes! Thank you, sir! Thank you, thank you, so much."
"So I take it, then, that my terms are agreeable to you both?" Snow asks even though he looks like he already knows the answer to that.
"Yes, sir!" I exclaim.
"Guess so," Johanna says at the same time.
"Good," the president says. "Now, go on and show off your new relationship to the crowd. And remember, I expect a lot of kissing."
Carrying on a public relationship with Johanna proves to be tricky, especially considering the fact that we live in two different districts. Unfortunately, it had been decided that the only way around that would be to have the two of us spend a few days every month together in the Capitol. It has been difficult dealing with the demands of our relationship. The public displays of affections now border on the side of obscene, and still the crowd seems to want more.
My family doesn't know the reasons for why "my girl" and I are behaving this way in front of all Panem and I can't explain it without endangering them. Because of this, I've been alienated from my family somewhat. All the progress I had made with my father has gone out the window. Actually, it's worse now as my mother won't even allow me to speak to any of them. It's to a point that I almost look forward to going to the Capitol; at least people like me there.
However, I still am dreading our arrival this time. Going to the Capitol to see Jo is one thing, but heading there to watch 23 children die… No, I'm still very much not looking forward to that.
"Peeta?'
Hearing my name snaps me back into attention and I turn to the one who called me. "Yes?"
Ricea, this year's female tribute, looks down at her feet. Her voice lilts at the end of her sentences, making them all sound like she asking questions. "Barlia asked me to come get you? She said that the recaps of the reapings are about to start?"
"Yes, thank you. I'll be right there, then," I tell her, sending a smile at her that she hesitantly returns before leaving the room.
I stand up and follow her into the compartment with the television. Everyone else is already settled in the room and I find an empty seat just as the television turns on. We watch the reapings of the first three districts in silence, but I can't help the gasp that escapes me when I hear the name of the District 4's tribute… Annie Cresta.
There's no shot of Finnick's reaction, but I don't need it to know that my friend must be going crazy about now.
I'm still reeling over this by the time it's gotten to District 7. And that's when I recognize a name for the second time this year: Hedeon Mason.
This time there is a reaction shot. Johanna's face is expressionless as she watches her older brother take the stage. I know she doesn't get along too well with him, but she still must be hurting right about now. When one of the announcer makes a comment about wondering if Hedeon will do as well as his sister, both my tributes shoot a glance at me before turning to each other.
I just manage to hear Calumet, the boy, whisper to Ricea, "Well, we're definitely screwed. There's no way he's gonna try to save us, now."
And as awful as I felt about it, I know that he is absolutely right. This year I'm going to be trying to save a tribute not from my district. The question, however, was which one was I going to choose? Finnick was my friend and he's been there for me when no one else has. Still, Johanna did manage to save me from continuing to be sold for sex; and I did care about her immensely. However, I knew that what I felt for Johanna didn't even hold a candle to how Finnick loved Annie. Surely, Jo loved her brother, but I think she would be able to get over his death. I wasn't sure if Finnick would be able to survive the loss of Annie.
And I guess knowing that has made my decision for me. I was going to forsake Johanna's brother, and both of my District's tributes just so I can help Finnick make sure that his love makes it out of the arena in one piece.
Somehow, I just know that this is not going to end well for anyone.
The 70th Hunger Games took less than a week from start to finish and no one will be able to say that it was a good year.
Only five tributes, Ricea being among them, died in the initial bloodbath. All other non-Careers had taken off quick enough to escape. In a surprising turn of events, however, the tributes from District 4 decided not to join with the Career Pack this year and Hedeon was more than happy to try to fill the empty spots left by their departure.
There were no further deaths on the first day, and none at all on the second. On the third, Hedeon proved that his sister wasn't the only one who was deadly with axe when he came across Annie and her District partner. The boy was decapitated with one blow and Panem got to see a young girl's mind completely shatter as a result.
Annie managed to escape from Hedeon when his axe became wedge after a wild swing at her but her screaming allowed him and the surviving Careers to follow her. The chase went on for hours and still the situation showed no signs of being resolved anytime soon, so the Gamemakers tried to help it along with an earthquake at the end of the third day.
And then the dam broke.
By the middle of the fourth day, the number of tributes had dropped down to nine. Many, like Calumet, drowned fairly quickly after the arena was flooded. Others, like Hedeon, took a little longer to fall victim to the seemingly endless water.
Six more died on the fifth day.
One died before dawn on the sixth day and the boy from District 2 finally passed out from exhaustion and drowned five hours after that.
And that's how Annie Cresta became a Victor.
The loss of her brother didn't hit Johanna as hard as I expected it to, but then came the news that her parents had perished when a freak fire had broken out at their home. She was sent back to District 7 nearly immediately after that, even before the Games had finished, but not before she was brought before Snow so he could remind her that actions always have consequences.
It is the same thing Finnick was told when he was summoned before Snow.
And now, as I sit beside our newly crowned Victor, I wonder how long it will be before I have to deal with some consequences. Suddenly, Annie lets out a sob and I rub her back, desperately hoping that Finnick will return soon. He hadn't been excused from his duties, and so had left Annie in my care while he finished up his engagements.
Taking care of Finnick's girl isn't as difficult as I had assumed it would be. For the most part, the Capitol citizens seem to be trying to avoid sharing space with Annie; I guess that a mentally damaged Victor isn't considered the best company. The few brave souls that do approach us, simply ignore her as they ask me where my lovely girlfriend is. To those questions, I give the scripted answer I was made to memorize and see that the excuse is mostly met with disappointment.
Annie lets out another wail, shrieking that Finnick has probably died. Her outburst serves as a deterrent to a group of ladies who appeared to be heading in my direction. I force myself not to smile and I try to soothe the girl beside me, promising her that Finnick will indeed be back. As she settles down, I can't help but be a little glad that Johanna was sent back to her district. While I do miss her, I know that her presence would have not help the situation at all.
I feel a pang of something unrecognizable when Finnick comes barreling in, making his way to the love of his life. To me, the deep and all-consuming love that he has for Annie is completely apparent in his eyes. As I watch the reunion between Finnick and Annie, I am, once again, reminded that my feelings for Johanna do not run so deep.
It's not a terribly pleasant thought, so I try to tell myself that the sole reason for that is because Johanna and I have been together for a short time. Surely, my feelings will be stronger by the time the next Hunger Games come around…
A full year and a whole twelve "romantic" trips to the Capitol later, I am forced to come to the conclusion that I will never be in love with Johanna Mason. And by the way she's currently flirting with that boy from District 2 who just won the 71st Hunger Games, I can pretty much guess that she's not hopelessly in love with me, either.
And suddenly It's so clear to me what I have to do that I find it hard to believe that it took so long for me to realize it. And I know that I have to do it now before I lose my nerve.
"Johanna," I say, coming up behind her.
She jumps away from the man as she turns towards me, a blush accompanying a guilty expression. "Peeta! Hi! We were just talking about his performance in the Games. Oh, but you two haven't met yet, have you?"
I shake my head before I extend my hand towards the dark-haired Victor. "Peeta Mellark," I tell the man, trying to keep my voice pleasant.
He takes my hand and gives it a firm shake. "Gale Hawthrone."
"It was nice to meet you," I say as he releases me. "Now, I hope you don't mind but I need a quick word with Johanna."
I watch as Gale's eyes flit over to Johanna and I don't miss the look that passes between them. And then she smiles up at him in a way she's never smiled at me. "It'll only be a few minutes, I'll be back soon," Johanna tells him.
"I'll be waiting, then," he says.
The lack of jealousy that I feel at this tells me that I am making the right choice. She gives him one last look before she turns away from him and I lead her to a secluded corner of the room. Johanna smirks at me, "Okay, now tell me; what is that you wanted to talk about?"
I sigh and I know the best thing would be to just get it over with as soon as possible. "This isn't going to be easy to say…"
"Just spit it out, Peeta."
So I do, "I think we should break up."