Valentines Day

Summary: It's been three weeks since that awful night when Magnus walked out of his life and Alex knew he couldn't take that pain anymore.

Note: It's a small story based upon the song "Valentines Day" by Linkin Park.

Hope you will like it even it's a bit sad. But nevertheless I would be really, really happy for getting a review

And of course I don't own the band or anybody from TMI.

- Warning - fanfic with M-rated content / mentioning of themes like hurt and depression etc. -

The night was cold up here and the wind kept blowing strongly against his pale face. His eyes were reddened, because he had cried a lot lately. Tried trails of tears were running down his cheeks. But all of this didn't matter for the black-haired man, who was sitting on the concrete near the edge of the highest pillar of the Brooklyn Bridge while watching eightyfive meters down towards the dark surface of the East River.

Normally this place was his safety haven. Whenever he did need time to hide for whatever reason, he escaped up here. He could easily spent hours after hours in this special place. Just watching the dark river floating by below. The traffic noise from the road underneath him was like a calming mantrasong to him. Two hours up here and Alec could face again the cruel reality down there.

But since three weeks, the world was different.

So much, that only being here didn't change anything. And especially today, nothing seemed to take away his numbness and his pain inside. And therefore he had to chance his tactic into a more drastic motion.

He looked down at the fresh horizontal cuts at his left wrist. Watching the blood as it slowly soaked through the new wounds. They weren't deep, but nevertheless they did what they had to do – covering pain by more pain. Hurting him that much, so he wouldn't need to feel his emptiness inside of his mind and inside of his heart, at least for a few moments.

Twelve cuts – for twelve missed calls throughout this night. Six from Izzy, three from Jace and two from Clary, even his mother had called once. But the name, which really would matter to him, was missing on the phone list. Alex knew, the name would be missing forever now. And yet again, his phone vibrated and he added a mental line behind Clarys name. They all seemed to be worried. But they shouldn't. At least they deserved to be all happy at this special day on which lovers normally went crazy about, he thought. They should be out on romantic dates or do something special and not sitting at home in deep concern about him.

They had their plans, too, for this day. Magnus wanted to take him to a small place in South Africa, a small and lonely beach near Cape Town. They would have had a small picnic under the beautiful starry sky and afterwards they would have showed how much they loved each other.

But this option was long gone.

By that realization Alec closed his eyes, trying to ignore the deep urge to cry, because of the pulsing pain waves in his sobbing heard and started to listen to the music again which was hammering in his ears the whole time.

My insides all turn to ash, so slow
And blow away as I collapsed, so cold

A black wind took them away, from sight
And now the darkness over day, that night.

That night, in which everything he'd believed in, was swept away by just one single statement. That the strongest feeling on earth wouldn't matter to Magnus, that love didn't change a thing. And Alec hadn't the slightest chance to fight against that. It was hopeless. Magnus had decided for both of them.

And the clouds above move closer,

Looking so dissatisfied,

But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing.

How could Magnus be like that cruel? Just walking away? Was leaving Alec and their time together behind that easy? Could he really act like Alec didn't matter to him as if he was trivial?

I used to be my own protection, but not now
'Cause my path has lost direction, somehow

A black wind took you away, from sight
And now the darkness over day, that night

Before their love, he was always strong. Never gave in, to the need to feel anything, because that would make somebody vulnerable. He was safe in his closet. Alone, but safe. But then there was this shiny warlock and Alecs world turned upside down. In the end he would have risked everything for Magnus, by coming out towards his siblings, his family, even to the Clave. And Alec would have faced every single consequence for Magnus, his soulmate. Didn't that count anything for his him? By the angel, he even would have given up his marks, if that was the only way, to be with Magnus, but he guessed, that he was the only one, who would suffer for their relationship.

And the clouds above move closer,
Looking so dissatisfied,
And the ground below grew colder,
As they put you down inside
But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing.

But this all of this was his fault. One single wrong decision and the whole world would change again. His impatience towards Magnus' past, his naïve curiosity caused the greatest pain, he ever had to face. Magnus wasn't ready to open up, and he should have respected that, but he couldn't obey.

So now you're gone
And I was wrong
I never knew what it was like

To be alone ….

Before the break-up, for the first time in his life, Alec knew where his home was and where he belonged. And he was happy. But he had to destroy his beloved lighthouse in his troubled life. His old life was now only a dark shadow in his memory. Nothing was left inside of Alec. Not only was Magnus gone, he even took his heart and mind with him away and Alec had to suffer in total loneliness and that did hurt. Su much that without Magnus by his side, Alec couldn't handle that anymore.

To be alone…

On a Valentine's Day
On a Valentine's Day
On a Valentine's Day
On a Valentine's Day

It felt so wrong to be that alone and not only on the special day today. But every single minute without the love of his life did hurt and he absolutely couldn't do something to chance the fact, that they were done. So his life didn't matter to him anymore.

While Alec opened his eyes again, he tried to sweep away the tears he kept crying. He grabbed for his bag, took a small white page out of his notepad and wrote something on it. After that he folded the paper and wrote with his stele the fire mark onto it. He didn't through it away as it kept fire. Accepting the pain of the burning sting as it burned down on his hand. As the wind strong wind up there blew the ashes instantly away and sending the message towards the right person, Alec stood up and took one final glance towards the lights of Brooklyn. Somewhere out there he was, living his old life again, without even thinking about him anymore. And Alec walked the last step, which separated him from falling over the edge.

(On a Valentine'sDay) I used to be my own protection

(On a Valentine's Day) But not now
(On a Valentine's Day) 'Cause my mind has lost direction
(On a Valentine's Day) Somehow

The apartment was totally dark. No single light was on. Even the TV was kept in silent. Only once in a while a small purring voice was to be heard. The Chairman was sitting in the lap of the man who was sitting on the couch. His Shoulders were hanging down, as if he was a lifeless sack. He didn't had make-up on or his hair up in glittery spikes. His clothing wasn't tight anymore, because he hadn't eaten a lot lately. Magnus was just sitting on his furniture and stared into the darkness.

Seconds later the room was lightened up by a short lighting, a flame appeared next to Magnus and a white paper materialized through it. Magnus took the note and in this moment he just knew, who the author was.

He opened it up and saw in horror the sloppy written words "At leat the good thing in being mortal is, that you have the option end it."

His face got white and Magnus screamed out of his lung in fear. Scaring the cat away. His Alec wouldn't, no, he couldn't do that, could he?. But nevertheless, Magnus was in deep hollow. He stood up and jumped towards his bedroom. He needed to get a personal thing from Alec. Very fast. He grabbed a black sweater lying on his bed, five candles from the cupboard and went back to the living room

He instantly began to summon a spell while he draw a pentagram and a circle on the ground and lighten up the candles around him. A blue watery surface began to be built. Shining bright through the apartment.

(On a Valentine's Day) I used to be my own protection
(On a Valentine's Day) But not now
(On a Valentine's Day) 'Cause my mind has lost direction
(On a Valentine's Day) Somehow

Alec fell deeper and deeper. Caused by the fall velocity, he felt that he slowly lost his consciousness. Accepting the warm embrace of the blackness. He saw that the East River wasn't that far away now and in the next seconds his body would burst asunder on the hart water surface. But only a few meters above it, a shiny blue circle opened up and instantly swallowed Alecs body.

Alec crashed hard upon the ground on the other side of the portal and he struggled for air, because the clash took all the air out of his lungs. Pain was ringing in his ears and his eyes popped open. He saw candles around him and the room smelled as if magic was used. Alec tried to look up and directly looked into a pair of eyes – very well known feline-eyes.

So what do you think? Please give me a feedback or a review, so that I know if you want a two-shot out of this or not.