There were times when Carl would absolutely not take care if himself at all.
Paul would step into the room belonging to the other man and be aghast at the landfill residing in it.
"Carrrrl."
"Yeah?", Would respond the sociopath groggily from beneath a few blankets just thrown into a pile at the corner of the room. He had a sort of treasure collection going on the rest of his bed, a vast variety of beautiful jewelry and expensive-looking golden items that Carl eyed a bit suspiciously.
"I'm not even going to ask about those right now." Paul put his hands on his hips with a stern look, "-but this mess! Carl, look at it! It's seeping out into the hallway!"
"Paul, it's not a mess. Maybe from your perspective, but from my point of view, it's a lateral filing system!"
"...A lateral filing system." Paul repeated skeptically, raising an eyebrow at Carl from the other side of trash. "Ew! Carl! I think I seen something moving in there!"
"Oh! Uh? Wow, Paul, Are you seeing things? Maybe you should see a doctor."
"Carl, I'm not the one who needs therapy. I seen something move in there!", Paul pointed at the pile of trash, which now had a paw wriggling out of it.
"...Uh..."
Paul watched with a small amount of horror as he realized a barely-alive cat slowly squirming out of a pile of trash with one paw. "-AHH!-" Paul backed off quickly. "CAAAARL! That cat is attached to the trash!" He yelled, watching as the trashcat slowly and agonizingly scooted itself across the floor.
Carl sat up in his bed, rubbing one of his eyes, "Well, yes, you. Way to go, why don't you tell he's adopted too while you're at it!"
The trash cat meowed, a low guttural sound that shook the entire trash pile and sent bits of trash fluid everywhere around it.
"Ughhh! That's disgusting, Carl!", Paul protested. "Why did you cut a cat in half and see it to trash items? The poor thing doesn't even have eyes anymore!"
"Yeah, I suppose I really should take it out soon." Carl mused halfheartedly, seeming to be fully content with the situation as he picked up a string of pearls that looked to be expensive as all hell. Paul's eyebrows drew together slightly, "Carl! Where did you get all of that?"
"Hm? The trash?", Carl asked innocently. "It accumulated on its own." He replied simply.
"No! Not that! The money! And that jewelry!" Carl demanded answers while the poor half-dead trashcat mewled pathetically across the floor of Carl's room.
"Oh! I bought it from a charity auction! To help the starving children!" Carl grinned at Paul.
"Carl, tell the truth!"
"MEOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!" The cat abomination let out a meow that slightly shook the floor of the house.
"I am telling the truth! I always tell the truth! I'm a very honest man!", Carl just grinned at Paul without missing a beat, "Without me auctioning off all that stolen money, how would Oliver have some more?"
"Carl! Tell me the truth this instant! You stole from that department store in the next city over again, didn't you?"
"Well, I never! The accusations that are coming out of your mouth right now!" Paul acted hurt, but Carl just narrowed his eyes slightly with a frown.
"You did, didn't you?", Paul put a hand against his forehead, seeming absolutely done with this morning already. "Carl, an entire street was set on fire during the robbery! Why did you set it on fire?"
The trashcat was scratching at the wall, now quietly trying to electrocute itself with the wall plug-in.
"I did not set it on fire! I merely saved the stores from somebody else setting it on fire!"
"Carl, that doesn't even make any sense!" Paul was now regarding the pile of stolen jewelry and covered his mouth with his hand before pointing. "Please don't tell me that's a real finger in that ring!"
"Well, the cashier wouldn't give it up willingly!"
"Oh, god-!"
"Yeah, I know! Pfft, hostages these days, am I right?"
The trash cat was currently zapping itself and smoke slowly filled the room as the cat wriggled intensely and emitted loud trashcat sounds.
"CARL, GET IT OUT OF HERE!", Paul hollered, aghast at the entire situation.
"Oh, fine. I'll get outside for you, but you owe me!" Carl got up begrudgingly and quickly tossed the fried trashcat abomination out the window and into the dumpster in the street. "Ooh! He shoots, he scores." Carl smiled and closed the window.
"Ew, Carl, your room smells." Paul had a hand on his face as he stepped back again.
"That's just my natural masculine musk." Carl chuckled, wandering back to the bed and picking up a gold ruby necklace that held a string of jewels in a lighter shade of red.
"No, Carl, that's the smell of burnt cat! Just think of what you did to the poor thing!" Paul whined, stepping back over to the window and opened it, trying to get the room ventilated.
He heard Carl's footsteps behind him as he opened up the other window as well. He turned slowly and his brown eyes met the sight of Carl holding the necklace out.
"Ah!" He nearly bumped into the window, a hand at his own chest before he sighed, rolling his eyes, "Carl! Gosh, don't scare me like that!" Paul scolded the other man.
"You're not going to tell on me, are you?", Carl asked, raising an eyebrow as he continuously stared at him.
Paul had noticed a long time ago that Carl had this habit of staring at whomever he was speaking to. He wouldn't usually look away while he was talking, and if he did, it was only for a moment before his eyes were trained back on him.
Paul rolled his eyes slightly, snapping his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "Carl, we've been through this. Remember?", he sighed, straightening out his red hat on his head, a stern look at Carl. "Goodness knows I should, but..."
He let that statement drift off as the man in the green hat slowly reached over, his hands wrapping around Paul's neck. "-What- are you-!"
There was a small snap sound.
Paul glanced down as he nearly expected Carl to try and kill him, but was instead greeted with the sight of the lightish-red and gold necklace around his neck. "-oh?"
"It goes with your hat." Carl gestured, nodding at him.
"Oh."
"Oh?", Carl raised an eyebrow with a small smile.
"I just thought maybe you were-", Paul shrugged, "-I don't know."
"I don't know what you are insinuating, but I'm a gentleman!" Carl said smugly, with that knowing smile that he usually wore.
"You know what I meant, Carl!", Paul rolled his eyes slightly, moving around Carl and trying to surpress the slight burning sensation in his face at the implications Carl was joking about.
He glanced at Carl and threw a frown on his own face, glancing at the very slight distance between them and moved to the side slightly. "I can't accept this, Carl! You stole it from some poor lady who now has one less finger!" He took the necklace off and set it back on the bed with the rest of the pile.
"Ah, come on! I'm sure she won't even notice what's missing!"
"How could she not know what's missing, Carl?"
"I burned the entire street down, remember?", Carl smiled charmingly at him. It seemed like their little back and forth banter just made the whole situation more fun for the sociopath.
"I don't- CARL! - you bit her finger off! I'm pretty sure she's going to notice you stole from her store!"
"I think she's more preoccupied with the fact she's a bit more crispy than she used to be."
"...What. Carl! What did you do?"
"Huh? Me? I didn't do it!"
"Carrrrl! Did you start her on fire?"
"Hey! I didn't do it! The only thing going up in smoke lately is the state of the economy!"
"-and that cat that electrocuted in here that you sewed to your trash, Carl." Paul had a hand to his face once again, his brow furrowed once again.
"Hey, that was pure genius. took /himself/ out. Never before has trash had that amount of simplicity!"
"Carl, that's terrible." Paul's brows went up, but the pun was not lost on him. Paul tried to stop the small sound that rose from his throat.
"...You almost laughed!"
"No, I did not," Paul shook his head, turning to leave. "I'm going to cook breakfast."
Paul sighed heavily as he left, but casted a look back at Carl before he left down the stairs.
He couldn't help but notice the smug little happy look across Carl's face as he cleaned up the rest of the mess in his room.