Raise the Gates
The 55th Expedition Beyond the Walls (pt. I)
"Commander." The soldier saluted as he drew up besides his leader. "It's almost time, sir."
"Are the squads prepared for deployment?"
"Yes, sir."
"Alert the captains."
"Yes, sir."
As the man trotted away, Lelouch vi Britannia, the 11th commander of the Survey Corps, the men and women who chose to stake all for the sake of humanity, shifted in the saddle of his coal black horse. It snorted, shifting from hoof to hoof in excitement – it would be Julius and his twenty-first expedition beyond the walls, and though this was only supposed to be a practice run for the new recruits, and though he was a seasoned soldier, he could never shake off the apprehension crawling under his skin whenever he stood in front of the gates. Especially since it was C.C.'s first expedition since she had rejoined the Survey Corps.
He suppressed the urge to look back. Nothing would be accomplished by glancing over his shoulder, save for adding fuel to the fire. Besides, he had done the best he could have done, given the situation. He had tried and tried again for years to persuade her to retire, arguing that it was the perfect opportunity to leave the army and put distance between her life and immediate danger. No one would blame her, he would told her, if she chose to stay home and care for her children. Everyone knew how precious her children were to her, to any mother, and no one would sneer or mock her for making such a decision. But she would only push past him, replying that she had chosen to devote herself to humanity, had sworn to sacrifice her life if need be, and that she was a woman of her word and intended to keep her promise. As for the subject of her going on an expedition again, Lelouch had refused to discuss with her. How he had managed to evade the subject for three years, he himself didn't even know, but all he knew was that he didn't want C.C. to put her life in any more danger than it already was in.
But she would constantly and persistently bring it up, refusing to allow for the issue to be so blatantly ignored, until one night, he finally snapped and told her that, as her commanding officer, he would make sure that she was never to step out of the walls. C.C.'s eyes had widened with disbelief before turning hard with bone-deep anger. She had waited patiently to fully return to her original position, but the days had turned into weeks, which had turned into months and years, and she no longer possessed the patience to withstand his selfishness. So she fought.
He knew that she understood his reasoning. He gave her that much – his wife wasn't stupid or ignorant of others' perspectives. She could understand his reasoning. Hell, she probably agreed with him to a certain degree. But understanding to a certain degree wasn't enough. Being a member of the Survey Corps wasn't enough, being cast aside on expeditions wasn't enough for her, so she fought him. She fought for control of her own life, for her own person, and he fought back. They were locked in a power struggle, which was only made worse with the absence of their children, who had gone to stay with Aunt Euphie for the evening. It only meant that they didn't have to restrain themselves as they were usually forced to and that they could argue as violently and as loudly as much as they damn well pleased.
It had gone on for hours until C.C., deciding that she had had enough of him for one evening, scathingly told him how he was no longer the ally of humanity, but the enemy, before grabbing her cloak to leave. He had grabbed her arm, and she had growled at him to let go of her. When he hadn't, she had looked back, only to see the bleak expression on his face and realized that he was shaking not from anger, but from fear. Fear for her, fear for the fates of their children if their mother and father were both to go beyond the walls. Fear that they too would join their fallen comrades and leave behind their son and daughter in the cruel world they were trapped in.
Her icy glare melted, and her bag fell to the ground as she turned around to face him before gently cupping his face with her hands.
What was the point, she finally asked him after a long moment of silence, of sitting in the shadows, scared out of her wits? What was the point of letting her comrades and friends fight, the point of becoming a soldier if she threw away all of those years of blood, sweat, and tears just so she could live in comfort? But most importantly, what kind of a mother would she be if she didn't fight to make a better world for her children? He fell silent as she told him how she was going so that she could make the world a safer place, not just for humanity, but for her son and daughter whom she loved so much, for her beloved family, how she was struggling and making sacrifices so that their children wouldn't have to. She knew that he couldn't say anything, since that was the very same reason why he had chosen to take up the mantle of freedom's wings, and Lelouch knew she knew. So he had let go of her arm and given in after three years, miserable with himself for caving in to her dangerous wish.
But Lelouch was as stubborn as his wife was, and had placed her squad in the center of the last few ranks of the Corps' formation the day following their last argument. She would be well-protected there, and shouldn't have to encounter any Titans. She had been angry with him when she had found out – he had seen the way her brows had furrowed together and the way her gaze became flinty despite her salute – but if she was going to go beyond the walls, then she was at least going to go beyond the walls flanked by skilled soldiers.
It was selfish of him to manipulate the formation to suit his personal agenda. But even if C.C. had trained until near collapse to return her body and skill to the way it had been before her maternity leave, her going on an expedition burdened his shoulders with a nearly insufferable weight. So, as selfish was it was, he had placed her in the one place he knew would let her return home on her own two feet.
"Commander."
His train of thought interrupted, Lelouch glanced over to his right, where Kallen Kozuki, the captain of the fifth squad, was on standby. Her raised eyebrow told him all he needed to know – that she was questioning his ability to lead the expedition. Many knew of his marriage to C.C., but very, very few were privy to the happenings in the Commander's household. Unfortunately for Lelouch, Kallen was one of those select few due to her connection to Nunnally, and thus was also one of those select few who knew that today's expedition was troubling him far more than any other normal venture would have. He merely brushed her skeptical stare off as he vaguely listened to the troops behind him roar with adrenaline. The townspeople crowding the sides of the streets and the rooftops, the windows and balconies of homes, exploded with cheers in response as the order for the gate to be lifted was given.
Julius shook his mane as the ground rumbled underneath and the monstrous barrier separating humanity from certain extinction rose. Lelouch inhaled once before slowly letting out his breath. It would serve him well to get over C.C.'s decision. It was too late to do anything about it now, and he refused to allow his personal emotions to take precedence over the lives of men and women who willingly entered the lion's den upon his order. He would continue appeasing to her – he wasn't going to go down without a fight – but for now, for the time being, until they were all safely behind the walls once more, it would serve not just him, but these soldiers well to forgo his personal issues.
The moment the ground ceased to shake, Julius reared backwards with a shrill neigh, and the 11th Commander of the Survey Corps, the men and women who chose to stake all for the sake of humanity, announced the beginning of the 55th expedition beyond the walls amidst waving banners and the cheers of thousands. The ground trembled once more as Julius's hooves slammed down to the ground and the Corps moved out.
As the soldiers thundered down the pathway, each hoped and prayed that the next step towards humanity's salvation would need to be paid with the blood of their friends, comrades, and family, for each and every vividly remembered that day, and how mankind had received a grim reminder, a reminder of how they lived in fear of the Titans and were disgraced to live in the cages they called walls.