This will be one of the few times I break the chain with my other stories. I had to make this post because I really wanted to put up something to remember Jocelyn Carter since this is the special month that many of us are remembering her character. It was written a while ago.
Prologue
John tugged on the edges of his jacket ignoring the chill that whipped through the air. He watched Mr. Han make his next move demanding his body to ignore the weather conditions that would drive some into the shelter of the indoors.
"You are not your usual self today." Mr. Han remarked.
"I have a lot on my mind."
"It is her. Isn't it?"
John slightly tilted his head. "How did you know?"
"Losing someone of great value often results in such behavior. Especially when a woman is involved."
"She died…a little over a year ago." He cleared his throat. "She was killed. I held her in my arms while she died. She was a good friend. A good person."
"Why does her death still trouble you so?"
"I just hope she died knowing how much she meant to me."
"And what did she mean to you?"
John paused to consider how he could describe the depth of Joss's importance in his life. His eyes lowered to their game. "Let's just say, if my life were a chess board, she would be the queen. She had all the power and probably never even realized it."
Mr. Han smiled while John folded his hands. "A true queen indeed is a real treasure. And a great loss, but with time this pain too will ease."
John had to refrain from responding. He had heard such sympathetic words for over a year now and none of them had made Jocelyn Carter's death easier to bare. Although in his own way he had started to move on, but still the day she died still haunted him because a large part of him died with her.
John returned home to his apartment. He walked across the wooden floor to his large bed dropping his jacket onto the floor. Lowering himself to the bed's edge he removed his outer jacket. He reached over and slid open the drawer near his head board. Pulling out the photograph he stared into the beautiful face of Jocelyn Carter. One day in between numbers he had followed her around on her shift while still carrying his surveillance equipment he took a few pictures of her and kept them for himself. He couldn't resist. He was entranced by her that day. By every step she took and every expression that appeared on her face and he wanted something to remember her by. A way to look at her when he was alone and admire her beauty. Something he rarely allotted himself when he was in her presence.
He ran his finger over the picture admiring her beauty. Wishing he could see her in motion again. Again he felt heaviness weigh on his chest. Sighing John fell backward onto the bed and stared at his ceiling. He closed his eyes dreaming of visions of his Joss. Imaging her to be alive, vibrant, and determined. Just the way he remembered.
"I miss you Carter." He said to the empty room. "I miss you."
I'm going to be honest I know this chapter is not very strong, but I had to post it because there are some important things in it. Thanks to Ravenhusker who told me about the 'queen' thing ;) I had to plug it in. Even though this isn't the strongest beginning I hope those of you who start the story stick with it. I don't intend for it to be very long at all. But I think it gets much better as it goes on and for what it's worth there's a lot about it I do like. But it's your call.