Red Song
Red. Red. Red.
Alice didn't even need to open her eyes to know she was surounded by Red Lyrium.
She could hear the familiar hum only Red Lyrium emitted.
But she had to open her eyes to know why. Why was she surounded by Red Lyrium?
She could feel her body being dragged across the floor.
With her half lid eyes she could make out two templars, gripping her upper arms, dragging her through the main hall of Skyhold.
At least it looked like Skyhold. Just...redecorated. With tons and tons of Red Lyrium growing out of the floor and the walls.
Panic gripped Alice at the realization and she jerked her head up, her blue eyes shifting around to take her suroundings in more closely.
The room was filled with Red Templars, making way for her and her two guards.
Her thoughts were racing, trying to make sense of this situation.
What was going on? Why was Skyhold seemingly under control of the Red Templars?
And what were they going to do with her? Where were her children, Lorraine, Riley?
None of this made sense and she couldn't remember what happened before she woke up to this madness.
Add to that the fact she couldn't feel the lower part of her left arm and she felt completely helpless.
A quick glance at her left arm made her heart skip a beat in shock.
The whole lower part of her left arm was missing, leaving only a stub for the Red Templar to grab.
Still, she wasn't sure what was worse. Her missing Anchor or the very familiar man Alice saw sitting on her throne.
Her Commander and lover. Cullen Rutherford. Or what was left of him, defiled as he was by the Red Lyrium. His left arm was turned into the red crystal completely, from shoulder to the tips of his fingers. All over his body grew tiny crystals of Red Lyrium, even out of the left side of his face.
Piercing red eyes stared her down, his lips pulled down to a deep frown.
Alice couldn't hold in the shocked gasp that left her mouth and she felt her heart pound rapidly against her ribs as if about to jump out.
Her thoughts came to a complete halt, just to focus on one word.
No.
No! Nonononono!
Tears began to prickle at the corners of her eyes. She tried to take deep and careful breaths, which only ended in slight heaving.
"Inquisitor!," Cullen's voice boomed throughtout the hall, just slightly distorted by the Red Lyrium, causing everyone to quiet down and watch expectantly.
Alice started to tremble as she waited for Cullen to continue, not dareing to speak.
"I told you you won't be able to hide from us for long."
Alice felt her forehead slightly crease. So she had been hiding. But with whom? Which of her companions were still out there? Were they looking after her children?
Too many questions she couldn't answer. More and more she felt completely helpless and at the mercy of the Red Templars.
She barely heard the judgement that was spoken, the constant pounding of her forming headache that got stronger the longer she was exposed to this amount of Red Lyrium, shutting out most sounds. Though it was not as loud as her pounding heart.
Her vision went hazy as she tried to understand why this was happening. Tried to remember how she got here.
By the time she calmed down a bit, unable to come up with an answer, she found herself in a completely different room.
Though a familiar one.
Strong arms, just as familiar and at the same time unknown, encircled her slender form, held her tight.
Eyes shifting around again to take in her suroundings, Alice jumped when she heard Cullen chuckle.
"Back with the living I see, " he said sounding amused and if it weren't for the slight distortion thanks to the Lyrium, Alice would have thought the scene in the main hall was just a dream, caused by exhaustion or something.
But it seemed that moment was very much real, the red Lyrium growing out of her chambers walls proving that fact further.
"What's going on?," finally, she asked, her voice only a rasping sound. Her throat felt dry and she felt hot tears finally trail down her cheecks as she took heaving breaths.
This was everything she had feared. Everything she had wanted to stop from happening after she saw the possible future with Dorian, when she was sent there by Alexius' time magic.
But here she was. Skyhold under the control of the Red Templars, who were seemingly led by Cullen. Her love. Her Vhenan. Red Lyrium growing out of him, like Fiona back then, his voice distorted like Cassandra's and Varric's, when Alice found them in that future.
Cullen tightened his hold on her, getting her out of her thoughts, stopping her trembling, making gentle, soothing sounds, his breath gosting over her right ear, his lips tickling the sharp tip of it.
A chill went down her back and she relaxed the tiniest bit in his arms, his warmth surrounding her, calming her slowly but surely.
Step by step he led her to the bed, sitting down with her in his lap and his back leaning against the headboard.
"Don't you remember?," he murmured after a while.
Alice could only shake her head. None of this made sense to her and her memories were completly blank.
"I...have no idea what happened before I woke up in the main hall, when your guards dragged me there. My mind is completely blank. It's like a black hole in my memories," she whispered, her voice still sounding a bit raspy.
"I don't know how this all happened. How I lost the Anchor. Where my children are, Where the others are," the dalish took a deep breath ",How I managed to fuck up this badly," she breathed.
She took another shuddering breath before she gasped as she felt Cullens hold tighten around her once more, pressing her back against his front, his face pressed into her left shoulder.
"It's not your fault. If anyone is at fault, it is me," he murmured.
"Cullen. No. I'm the Inquisitor...or was...or whatever...but...I chose this. I could have refused, you know? To become Inquisitor. But I agreed to be the leader you all needed. You trusted me. You trusted I could do this, that I would make things right. Even if I am as much a victim as everyone else. I trusted that I could do this. And I was foolish to think so. To hope so. Appearently," she added the last word as an afterthought, her voice much stronger now.
She might have not known how she managed to fail this miserably, but it was clear as day that she failed them all.
"But you're not doing this on your own. There is more to this then you belive, " Cullen argued.
Alice listened as he told her everything. How everything went down hill after Suledin Keep.
The amount of Red Lyrium had overwhelmed her and made her collapse while batteling the demon Imshael.
Everything went out of control. The red Templars overwhelmed her companions. And while everyone was busy defending themselves, the demon managed to cut off her Anchor. The results were devastating.
Her part of the Anchor dissolved and the parts of her children flared stronger than ever before. Lorraine's part gathred so much energy it blasted her away, killing the only six year old elf, while her brother was rescuded by Solas before the same fate called him.
Solas helped Riley regain the young boys dragon form and it nearly looked like they could win against the templars and the demon with a dragon on their side. But Riley was still weakened by the Anchor. He forged a path for them to flee, but when they reached Skyhold he collapsed and went into a deep slumber.
They managed to hide the dragon, two thirds of a full grown high dragon now, underneath Skyhold before it was taken by the templars. Cullen made it his mission to keep that fact a secret ever since.
After that Alice couldn't hear anymore what Cullen told her. She was a shaking mess. Tears streaming down her face and loud sobs and hiccups leaving her mouth.
She could only think about her children. Lost in this blasted battle against Corypheus, just like she had feared.
She turned around slightly, clutching onto Cullen and burrying her face in his shoulder, sobbing and crying and repeatedly saying "I'm sorry".
The Commander could only hold her, one hand on her back the other gently stroking her short brown hair.
They stayed like this for some time until Alice only sniffled and snuggled herself closer to Cullen, taking deep breaths to calm herself further.
Cullen continued to stroke her hair soothingly.
Alice whimpered as she felt her headache grow stronger and stronger. She snuggled deeper into Cullen's embrace.
But of course she knew that he was part of the source of her headache. With a frustrated, slightly high pitched grunt, she leaned back out of Cullen's embrace and massaged her temples.
Cursing the Red Lyrium under her breath she looked at Cullen.
His brows were drawn together in worry, his red eyes not as piercing as back in the main hall.
"Is it the headache again?," he asked.
Alice noded and they fell silent once again.
They had been looking for something to help Alice with the headache, to prevent incidents like the one Cullen had described. But nothing worked so far.
Never had Alice felt as helpless as today.
She sighed and slumped down looking into her lap.
She took a sharp breath when she felt sharp points of Red Lyrium stroke her bare right arm - the sleeve if her blouse was ripped off, probably in a fight - making her look up at Cullen who looked worried still. His other hand came up to her cheek and stroke it gently wandering up to her ear, carefuly stroking along its pointy end and back and forth, causing Alice to shudder again, her breathing quickening just slightly and her cheecks turning a rosy red.
"C-Cullen…,"Alice whimpered. He knew her ears were especially sensitive and a erogenous zone for her.
"Shhh…,"he hushed her and leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers.
In an instant, Alice melted into the Kiss, putting her hands on Cullen's shoulders, slightly gripping the fur of his coat.
When they parted, Cullen murmured: "Maybe you will get used to it eventualy. You have to, now that you're mine...forever…"
Alice looked at him in confusion, before her eyes widened as he put a collor out of leather around her neck.
All the while Cullen smiled at her lovingly.
With a gasp Alice sat up straight in her bed. Her eyes wide and her breathing quick, she looked out of the open balkony doors of her chambers.
The sun was just starting to rise barely reaching over the mountain tops.
Next to her she felt the familiar warmth of Cullen.
She looked at his still sleeping form.
He looked peaceful. And whole. No Red Lyrium growing out of him.
Her chambers,too, were free of Rred Lyrium.
Next to Cullen, cuddled into his side, lay Lorraine.
Footsteps sneeked up the steps to her chambers and when Alice looked up, Riley's elven body greeted her at the top of the steps, a tablet filled with breakfast in his hands.
Relieved, Alice sighed and slumped back, giving Riley a smile as greeting.
The red haired boy only chuckle and came over to the bed while Alice started to wake the other two.
The nightmare about Red Lyrium quickly forgotton.