Deep in the meadow, under the willow
A bed of grass, a soft green pillow
Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes
And when again they open, the sun will rise.
"She's beautiful," Effie coos at the just turned one-month old baby, "I hope she has a pretty enough name to suit her?"
"Katniss- I mean, we, still haven't decided on a name yet," Peeta responds, brushing a strand of hair from out of my face as I feed our baby from a bottle. Whilst I should be focussed intently on my task, I can't help noticing Effie cocking an eyebrow from the corner of my eye. I try to bite my tongue.
"We've decided to focus on the health of the baby and make sure that it able to survive than stress over a pretty little name," I respond. I feel regret my comment instantly but can't help but feel emotionally drained by the mere presence of Effie.
"Yes, yes, you're right," Effie says cautiously. She twiddles with one of her many gold bracelets before diverting our attention to the time, "I would love to stay, but I am needed in the Capitol. If you turn on channel 6 tonight you will see me hosting some new reality show where we go to different districts and redecorate their homes. For free! I feel we all need to do our part…after everything."
"You're right, Effie. Me and Katniss will attempt to watch it if this little one," Peeta nods towards our baby, "doesn't keep us busy." Effie giggles, in an almost polite manner, before saying her goodbyes and leaving.
"Her outfit is almost as loud as the damn baby," I comment, half joking, half not.
"Is everything okay?" Peeta asks me, dismissing my joke entirely. He looks deeply into my eyes, in a way that only Peeta can.
"Compared to how life could be? Everything is great."
"You can talk to me, Katniss."
"I am talking to you-"
"I mean properly. How you just spoke to Effie, that's not normal. That's not you. You know she means well and would never want to hurt us. There's no need to attack her over just wanting to know our baby's name." I feel a sense of anger build up inside of me, but take a deep breath, looking down at our baby. I don't want to shout in front of her.
"I wasn't attacking her. But it's all I ever hear from anyone, what's the baby's name. Why does everything need a name? People will just name it whatever they want to call her anyway. Just like they did with us. "Girl on Fire", the "Star crossed Lovers", the-"
"-Enough Katniss!" Peeta exclaims, a certain emotion in his voice that I haven't heard before, "enough. We're not in that world anymore. We have a baby, we're a family, and nothing is going to change that. You can get attached to her. You can name her, she's ours. You don't need to be afraid."
I look down at this bundle in my arms. So young but already the resemblance is uncanny. Whilst not long, her hair is although thick and blonde. Blue eyes. Sometimes she yawns and releases a little quacking noise. My little duck.
"Take her," I muttered, handing the baby to Peeta.
"Babe-"
"Take her!" I scream hysterically. The baby begins to cry and Peeta takes her into his arms, asking no further questions.
He leaves the room and I stare blankly at the wall, feeling the tears prickle my eyes. I can hear the muffled cries of the baby from the next room. Peeta trying to comfort her. I should be comforting her. I should be protecting her. But how can I? How can I protect a baby when I couldn't even protect my own sister?
I feel the tears stream down the face. Piercing my cheeks with each drip. I try to take deep breaths, but each deep breath makes me feel more suffocated. I hear a loud scream from the next room, followed by a soft humming from Peeta.
I need to get out. Get away. I need to go anywhere that isn't here. That isn't with that baby.