Jeff woke up to the sound of a hospital monitor beeping. He opened his eyes, rubbing the sleep from them. He looked around him, the pale green walls, ugly white tile, and the bed in front of him. Rubbing his neck, he looked at the fragile boy lying on the bed. He reached out and grabbed Nick's bandaged hand. He pushed back his friends' dark brown hair. He looked so weak. How could I have let this happen! He thought. I'm his best friend. I should have known. Why didn't he come to me?
The nurse walked in, her white sneakers squeaking with every step she took. Squeak. Squeak. Jeff opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, the nurse answered his question.
"He'll be fine," she said with a smile. "In fact, it looks like he's waking up now."
Jeff looked at Nick's broken body, feeling a pang of guilt in his chest. Nick stirred, opening his eyes slowly, taking in his surroundings. Jeff got up and sat down on the side of Nick's bed.
"Where am I? Is this heaven?" Nick wondered aloud.
"Hey man, you're at the hospital, how are you feeling?" Jeff choked out. He was on the verge of tears, seeing Nick alive, and hearing him believe he was in heaven.
"I'm alive. Jeff. Jeff I'm so sorry."
Jeff didn't know what to say. He should be the one who's saying sorry, not Nick. He should have been there, he should have known. It's his job. Nick means the world to him.
"Nick, shh, it's okay," Jeff hushed, "It's all gonna be okay. I'm so sorry Nick, this is all my fault, I shou-"
"No, Jeff it's my fault. I should have told you about what was going on. I chose to leave you in the dark. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tried to end my life, I should have talked to someone," Nick croaked.
"Nick, you can tell me anything, you're my best friend. I need you."
"Just listen, okay? Please don't leave me," Nick whispered.
"Never."
Nick went into how 3 guys at school kept pushing him, and calling him names. They told him he was worthless, called him faggot. Faggot. God, how he hated that word. He could practically hear them chanting it as they beat him, pushed him, and taunted him. Then when they told him he should just end his life, he relented. He gave in to the blissful thought of nothingness. He didn't want to deal with all the pain, and the secrets, and the lies anymore. I was pushed off a swing. I tripped on my shoelace. I spilt coffee on my hand. Where did it end?
"Nick, I'm so, so sorry I let this happen!" Jeff wailed.
"Shh, Jeff it's fine, I'm fine. I got a second chance. I'm not going back there. Not to that person. That life. It was hell, Jeff," Nick said calmly.
"Nick," Jeff said, remembering something from Nick's story, "Why would they call you a faggot?"
Nick tensed at the word. He also didn't know what to say to Jeff. Should I tell him? He thought. He took a deep breath.
"I mean then again, maybe they call everyone that-"Jeff had started.
"Jeff, I'm, I'm..." Nick stumbled.
"Nick? You can say it. I won't run. I promise," Jeff said.
"I'm gay, Jeff."
Jeff thought about this. It's not that he wasn't surprised. Nick had never had a girlfriend before, let alone talk about it whenever Jeff would mention girls. But the idea of Nick being gay wasn't completely surprising to him. He also didn't know what to say to Nick to explain he didn't care that he was gay, without making it seem like he didn't care that this was hard for Nick.
"Okay," was all he could think of.
"You're not upset? You don't hate me?" Nick asked hopefully.
"Of course not, Nick. You're my best friend, and I love you no matter what. This doesn't change anything."
"I was scared you would run away from me, or hate me, like everyone else."
"How many people have you told?" Jeff wondered aloud.
"No one, until now that is. Not even my family. But I just know that everyone will hate me. See what those guys did to me, what they pushed me to do? No one will like me." Nick sighed.
"That's not true. You're family is loving, and completely accepting. And if you have no one else, you'll always have me. That's a promise," Jeff whispered.
"Thank-you," Nick said, tears forming in his brown eyes. Jeff leaned down and hugged Nick tightly, showing him that he'd always be there, and that he would protect him from now on.
"You can tell me anything, from now on, please tell me if something's going on. I'll always be there. I'll never run," Jeff said when they pulled apart.
"Never?"
"Never."