Disclaimer: i am quite bored of writing this, but i don't own anything!
UNDER THE INVISIBILITY CLOAK
James potter stood alone in the owlery, running a frustrated hand through his hair as he re-read the parchment in his hand for the nth time. It was a letter from Sirius's cousin Andromeda. The letter by itself was unexpected, let alone the request that it held.
Dear James,
I know we haven't ever officially met, but I have heard enough about you to believe that you are the one person who can currently help me. Regulus has been depressed lately. I know you are wondering why I am writing this to you rather than to Sirius but well Sirius is the cause for his month-long depression. He has started to believe that Sirius now hates him, but I don't think that is ever possible so please, help Regulus out. I trust you will not fail me on this.
Yours truly, Andromeda
Help Regulus? How was he supposed to do that? He didn't even know the kid! And Sirius…what were his feelings for his brother? He hated all the blacks as a rule but andromeda had been an exception, was Regulus one too? He stood there racking his brain, completely confused. Minutes ticked by and James's expression cleared. Seemingly having made up his mind, he tucked the letter back into his robes and headed out of the owlery with a new question running through his mind, where was he supposed to find the younger black now?
He checked out the great hall and all the grounds before going to the Quidditch field, which was his last hope. If he isn't here, I'll have to hang around the snake pit he thought ruefully, not really looking forward to the ghostly corridors that lead to the Slytherin common rooms, but luck seemed to be on his side, the entire Slytherin team was in practice. Smiling he slipped under his invisibility cloak waiting and busied himself trying to think of ways to get their seeker alone. Once again lady luck favored him as he watched the whole team head back to the changing rooms, while Regulus black remained in the skies. He waited a little longer as the others went back to the warmth of the castle and after he was sure of the coast being clear, he emerged from under his cloak. "Hey kid!" James called out but Regulus was too high in the air to actually hear him. "Oiii!" James called again and the wind failed to carry his voice over the distance. "REGULUS!" James yelled and watched the boy came to a halt mid-dive, impressive James thought as he waved him over. He seemed unsure but as James continued to wave more frantically, the young Slytherin made his way towards him.
This was the first time he was actually seeing the boy up close. It was remarkable how much like Sirius he looked, the same lustrous black hair though not as long as Sirius's, the exact same grey eyes, high cheek bones, a slighter build and shorter too but there was something that seemed off, something that looked just wrong about this boy James thought, realizing a moment later that it was the charisma. While Sirius's presence was impossible to miss, by both the people who loved and hated him, Regulus was someone whose presence had never made an impact. Never had he heard this boys name being yelled across the great hall, never had he heard this boys laugh echo through the grounds and never before had James potter seen this boy in the centre of the crowd. And James found it highly uncomfortable to look into those grey eyes and not see the laughter in them and the desire to see a spark of happiness on them increased James's resolve to reconcile the two brothers.
Taking in a deep breath, he got directly to the point as was normal for him "Is there something wrong between you and Sirius?" he asked. He saw a flicker of surprise before the boy shook his head in a negative. Okay that was unexpected. James thought.
"You sure?" he asked again and the boy nodded. He ran his hand through his hair, wondering what the hell came next.
"Uh well look, if there's some sorta issue between the two of you, lemme know okay? I'll do my best to help" James said feeling like an idiot. Regulus looked confused but said nothing and after James gave up and turned away he heard a faint whisper
"ditcha say something?" He asked turning around again.
"Does Sirius hate me?" he asked. James studied the boy for a moment. There was a sort of resignation in his manner. His question had been asked timidly and yet with the air of someone who already knew the answer. His dejected acceptance made James pity him.
Not knowing of Sirius's true feeling for the boy, he decided to trust Andromeda's instinct; he said "no, I don't think so" then added "I mean why would he hate you anyway?"
A sad smile twitched at the end of regulus's lips, "why wouldn't he?" he asked and James raised an inquisitive eyebrow.
"You can't seriously think my brother is going to not hate me after all that happened? Regulus asked
"Huh? All what happened?" James asked.
"Ummm….the stuff at home….you know" he replied, not really wanting to remember it, let alone talk about it
"What are you talking about Regulus?" James asked honestly confused. The boy suddenly seemed to look uncomfortable and sort of unsure too "I don't know….what if Sirius didn't tell anyone…I mean if he didn't want any-" he said when James cut across
"Sirius tells us everything" he said confidently. "Just tell me what you are talking about?"
"The way he is treated at home…." Regulus said trailing off in the end
"Like shit you mean?" James asked.
"Ummm yeah….." Regulus said, not quite looking at James anymore.
"Well that's not exactly your fault, so why would he hate you?" James asked
Regulus looked up suddenly, his eyes glistening with the unshed tears. "if your brother just watched as you writhed under the cruciatis curse, or when you are made to do all sorts of horrid things under the imperious curse or….or you are left hurt and bleeding on the floor and did nothing about it, you would hate him too….." he said bitterly.
James had become white as a ghost, his stomach did funny things and he felt like throwing up.
"wh- what?" James asked, his whole body beginning to shake "you are not – no it could be – I mean -" he tried to stop himself from imagining it but Regulus simply hung his head.
"MONSTERS!" James yelled suddenly "YOU PEOPLE ARE A BUNCH OF BLOODY HEARTLESS NUTTERS!" he said, his eyes flashing violently. He didn't know where all of the anger was coming from, or what was fuelling his sudden instinct to hold Sirius tight and never let go, but all James knew was that he suddenly felt extremely protective of his best friend.
He saw Regulus looking away, not able to meet his eyes anymore. "No wonder he hates the lot! And here I was thinking it was just because they were a bunch of lunatics…." James continued.
"He did" Regulus murmured, still looking anywhere except at James.
"What?" the Gryffindor asked.
"He hated all of th- us even before all the torture began. He thought the pure blood obsession was insane" Regulus said
"And when did the torture begin?" James asked but somehow he already knew.
"When he got sorted into Gryffindor…" the younger black said making James shudder.
"5 years….he has been suffering alone for 5 years?" James asked his vice breaking. Regulus nodded mutely.
James remained silent for a long while before finally speaking "and you just watch?" it was asked in a disgusted, degrading note and he practically spat the last word out.
Regulus's entire demeanor changed, he looked like well, ice. "There is NOTHING I can do! You think I could just sit there locked up in my room and listen to my brother's screams if I could actually do something about it? I am a black and a Slytherin, but he's my brother! I would do anything for him….if I could" he said but James merely looked away.
"Believe me!" Regulus said, falling to his knees, his breath now ragged and his voice was a croak "if there is anything I could do to make it better, anything except watch over him and care for him in the night…..I would. Please believe me" and James did.
Regulus honestly looked tortured and to have to watch Sirius like that was definitely….he couldn't even imagine it as he suddenly felt very cold.
"I do care, I even know he takes medicines sometimes; you see he made madam Pomfrey swear not to tell anyone, and he goes to her when his old scars hurt or his head spins or something" Regulus told him.
"And how do you know this?" James asked quietly
"before Sirius left for his second year, I asked him how he would cope and he said….he said he had friends and also that the school nurse was a very nice lady, so I thought he would have told her, he hadn't though, just the way he hadn't told you, but she had guessed most of it and ever since I came here, I've been talking to her….she tells me every time he is there" he said.
James nodded but remained silent then said "look I don't know what Sirius thinks about you, but I believe he won't hate you, coz you are technically breaking the rule by loving a blood traitor and he sure does love rule breakers…." James said, and it was regulus's turn to remain silent "but I'm going to help you find out…" he continued and saw the younger black look up at him startled.
He gave a grim smile and said "one last thing, when was the last time padfo - Sirius was at the hospital wing?"
All of regulus's interest in his feet seemed to return as he looked down, then he muttered "today and before you ask, his most recent scar runs from his head all the way to his neck and it has been giving him a lot of trouble lately, he has already been to the hospital wing 4 times in the past 10 days" James could hear the worry that layered regulus's voice and also the desperation that mixed with it as he added "of course madam Pomfrey says that if he went to 's for a day or two, he would heal completely but he won't listen….." his voice trailed off in defeat.
"Oh he is going to!" James mumbled and catching the alarm in the other boys eyes he said "don't worry, I'll make sure you are not involved, now come with me"
Regulus raised an eyebrow as James began to walk, but didn't question the older boy. He waited outside as Regulus changed, using the time to wrap his mind around what he had just learned. He was failing horribly when Regulus came back, glad to have an excuse and distract his mind, he quickly stood up and handed to him, his prized invisibility cloak "put it on, we are going to the Gryffindor tower to have a little chat with your brother" Regulus looked unsure again "what if this thing doesn't work properly or rips or something?" he asked.
James looked smug "it won't" he said confidently and began to lead the way again. Regulus did as he was asked, somehow trusting this boy in front of him as he fell into step behind him.
Both were lost in their own thoughts which incidentally co-insided as James desperately expelled the imaginations of Sirius writhing in pain under the curses of the blacks while in regulus's case, there wasn't much left to imagine, the horror in his mind crystal clear.
Once they had neared the portrait of the fat lady, James whispered "stay close" and together they stepped through the port hole.
A blast of warmth hit Regulus; this place was nothing like the basement residence he was so accustomed to. There was a burning fire and beautiful scenery visible through the windows that made him feel like he had just intruded into someone's cozy home. While he let a pang of jealousy wash over him, he saw James start walking again, seemingly done scanning the room for his best mate.
They made their way up several flights of stairs and James came to a halt in front of an ornately carved door. He paused for a minute and took a deep breath, the troubled look left his face and he opened the door, pausing for a moment longer before snapping it shut. Regulus had made his way in and was watching as James motioned him to wait near it, but he had already stopped, and was looking at his brother, he sensed a fierce longing well up within him.
Sirius looked up from his book, then stretching once; he turned himself on his bed to face his best friend and grinned. James too smiled back but Regulus could easily see the effort he was putting into it, just as plainly as James could see the efforts behind Sirius's smile. 'How could I have been so blind?' he thought as he looked at Sirius in the eye, wondering if he was only imaging the pain behind the laughing grey orbs. 'This is Remus all over again, only there was no traitorous full moon to give Sirius away….' James thought
"Hey prongs" Sirius said, casually
"Hey Padfoot! What are you doing holed up in here all alone?" James asked
"Studying of course!" Sirius said, seemingly horrified that James even had to ask "it's our OWL year after all" he added with a wink.
James rolled his eyes "but you already know all that nonsense" he said, playing along "what's the point looking at it again?" he asked as Sirius held out the book he was reading, a new prank book and said "moony is in the library again and wormtail is at the kitchens, you seemed to have decided to live in the owlery, so I thought I would do some extra studying, it always helps" he shrugged and James smiled, taking the book and flipping through it "anything good?" he asked
"Nah! Nothing we don't know or haven't already tried" Sirius said with real disappointment.
"Ah!" said James also showing signs of being let down "you should have come with me pads" he added
"Nah! Too boring, too many owls" Sirius replied lazily, shifting himself on the bed. 'Or too tired you mean?' James thought.
When the door opened again, James looked up quickly as Remus entered, 'crap Regulus!' he thought just as Remus almost deliberately walked around Regulus.
"Hey moony!" Sirius called casually "done with your work?" he asked
"Yeah most of it" Remus replied
"Me too, I just finished this book, you could borrow it if you want, it's kinda boring but definitely better than the books you read…."he said as Remus rolled his eyes
"No thank you Sirius but you could give me those transfiguration notes" he said
"What notes? I never take any!" Sirius said, sounding insulted and sitting up. Remus sighed, moving into the room and dropping a bunch of books on James's lap, and dropping next to him.
On top of the pile was the marauders map, clearly showing four dots on the room that was their dormitory and written beneath it, in Moony's hand was a note saying 'hope you know what you are doing and it better be worth it'. James swallowed, so stepping around the cloaked boy had been deliberate he thought just as he heard Remus saying "I know you didn't padfoot, so relax, I meant the ones you borrowed after coming back from detention" 'or the hospital wing' James thought as Remus finished "to study for the test as you were too tired to read the book"
'Bah! What am I thinking? I can't start worrying every time he isn't under my nose or I'll have more grey hairs than Remus!' he thought, then said aloud "chuck transfiguration moony, guess who I saw on my way here from the owlery?"
"snivellius?" they both said but of course Remus knew it was the wrong answer, he just said it for the sake of it and while Sirius was looking at him interested, Remus was giving him the 'good, you finally start talking' kind of look. Jeez, he would be a lot more comfortable not knowing what Moony's different looks meant.
"nuh-uh" James said and Sirius sighed in disappointment.
"Any other wannabe death eater?" he asked. James's eyes flashed to Regulus and he could swear that Moony's did too.
"Well- uh -" James started, not sure what to say. This kind of thing was just not his forte. He desperately just wanted to ask Sirius right out what he thought of his brother but somehow that was not an option.
"Well?" Sirius asked impatiently; as he reached for the book again, he was starting to get bored and Remus was now giving him another look that clearly said, get it done with.
"The Slytherin keeper" James said, a lame way to say it, he knew but he just couldn't quite bring himself to say the name. Sirius was looking at him, his eyes clearly searching for something, but the minute James noticed, it was gone, all to quickly replaced with nonchalance that befitted him best of all.
"You mean Sirius's brother?" Remus asked quietly
"A black if that's what you are asking moony" came the snappish reply as Sirius returned to the book.
Instant silence draped the room, then after a minute Sirius heaved a sigh and threw an apologetic glance towards Remus before asking tiredly "any reason you actually mentioned him?" he asked
"Well he looks remarkably like you….."James tried, not wanting to think about what may be running through his best mate's mind at the mention of his family.
"Yes" Sirius said curtly "any other reason except reminding me that I am still a black?" he asked. Remus too was looking at James, more curious now.
The black family was a forbidden topic but to actually hold on to it for more than a second and have another black in the room was just too much, even for moony, who was the most patient of the lot.
"Awww come on! I'm sorry mate, actually it was the difference between you two that I was getting to…."James said
"Uh huh?" Sirius asked sarcastically while Remus looked like he was debating whether or not to believe it.
"Honest pads" James said and when he saw Sirius waiting he continued "he looked distressed"
"And what exactly do you expect me to do prongs?" he asked suddenly defensive as Remus continued to study the pair of them.
"Ummmm I dunno" James said lamely
"You do know, you wont bring this up otherwise" Sirius accused
"I brought it up because he looked really down and it made me uncomfortable…..felt like I was seeing you sad and down or something" James mumbled with just the right amount of apology in his voice
"Well there is absolutely nothing wrong with me and since I am fine can you drop the subject?" he asked, now clearly annoyed
"Maybe you are….but he is not Sirius" James said pleadingly. He wasn't used to Sirius being annoyed with him, it was just wrong!
"HIS friends will worry about that" Sirius shot back
"I don't think they notice…." He persisted and Sirius acted like he hadn't heard
"He has been down for a month now pads!" he tried again but apparently that was the perfectly wrong thing to say
"Okay great, you have been keeping track of my brother, nice to know" Sirius retorted, and then disappeared behind his book.
"I – no – I haven't" James said, now turning to Remus for a little help, as Sirius snorted in disbelief.
"Have you?" Remus asked. Sirius looked up, clearly not happy that they were teaming up on him and raised one perfect eyebrow "have I what moony?" he growled, sounding more like the black dog that he was.
"Have you been keeping track of him?" Remus asked undeterred
Sirius barked a laugh "he is not six for Merlin's sake" he said
"But what if he is depressed?" Remus pressed
"As I just told James, he has friends too" Sirius said, evidently becoming more annoyed by the minute.
"And prongs just told you that they don't seem to care" Remus said. James looked gratefully at moony who seemed to be doing way better than him; maybe tact isn't all that undesirable James thought
"Then he can go to Narcissa, she loves him and will be thrilled to help" he retorted and fixed moony with a look that clearly warned him to drop the subject.
"Why go to a cousin when he has you?" Remus asked evenly. James looked impressed and Sirius looked murderous
"He shouldn't have to go to anyone! He is a BLACK!" Sirius shouted, losing his temper.
'being a black doesn't mean you have to suffer alone Sirius' James wanted to say, but knowing that it wasn't the best time he resorted to the only other thing that came to his mind
"Black or not, he is just a kid Sirius" he ventured and for a minute it looked like Sirius was going to explode. Both the marauders watched as Sirius punched the wall enraged, and then fell into his bed violently.
Then after a few more minutes of ominous glaring he took a deep breath, the sour look on his face diminished and he muttered "he'll get better, don't worry" but it sounded more like he was reassuring himself than anything else.
"Because he is a black or because you are going to do something about it?" Remus asked skeptically. 'You had to give it moony, he handles everything just right' James thought.
"The former" Sirius said, suddenly looking at the carpet with an unusual amount of interest. Remus looked exasperated and began to say something when Sirius cut in quickly "because there is nothing I can do about It." there was a force calmed in his voice that didn't miss anyone's notice.
"Can't or won't?" James asked heatedly!
Both the brothers could help each other (yes, Regulus too) but they kept refusing to see the options and it was getting on his nerves.
Sirius paled, looking like someone had hit him in the stomach while Remus looked anxious. Regulus's heart was breaking, his breath hitched, his brother did hate him, he thought sadly wishing he could leave. He really didn't want to hear the answer to this.
"Won't" came the expected reply, but it was soft and a sob caught in regulus's throat. James and Remus staggered, looking taken aback, and were staring at him in shock as Sirius walked to the window, the darkening sky his only escape. He made a very graceful picture….
"wh- why not?" James asked, finally recovering.
"Because it'll get him in deeper shit if I try" Sirius whispered sadly to the night.
"I'll advice him in the perfect anti-slytherin, anti-black way and my idiot brother will follow what I say….and I don't want him in more trouble" he said.
James and Regulus looked at him in shock, for even James had come to a conclusion that Sirius did hate his brother. But Remus gently took a step forward, then smiling slightly he asked "so James hasn't been the only one watching him?"
"Hey!" James protested "I haven't been watching-" but Sirius cut him short.
"No, I have been the only one watching him…"he admitted reluctantly.
"I thought so! Is that what has been bothering you recently padfoot?" Remus asked.
'Remus had noticed?' James wondered. 'Just how observant was he?' Sirius too seemed surprised
"I saw you at the hospital wing recently and later I found you sleeping here, so I thought something must be wrong if you had to resort to taking potions when you weren't sick" Remus explained.
"Oh that…." Sirius said, but offered no further explanation. As his hand reflexively clutched the back of his neck 'his scar' James thought sadly.
"So there's still a black alive that you care for" James said teasingly, trying to lighten the mood.
"Yeah….. my idiot brother is an exception to the hate all blacks rule" he replied, then as though on an impulse continued "he is too soft you know, refusing to stand up to Walburga (he had long since stopped calling her his mother) even though he knows that what she says is a load of shit…..just because he doesn't want more uproar in the family" he sighed, then with renewed bitterness continued "but she thinks he is the perfect son, holding up all their stupid values. In a way he is, I mean he may not believe the ideals himself, but he will wear the black crown for her, serve darkness as he is doomed to, and finally become a death eater like she and Orion want him to…..and them!" his voice lost the bitterness and was now pure black hatred and mutiny "they'll be oh so proud of the fate he is condemned to, so bloody proud of the obedient Regulus! He will be all that the traitor Sirius isn't…." he laughed, a mocking edge in his voice "Sirius who will be disowned, because he doesn't give a damn to their stupid pure blood ways, who doesn't give a damn to anything, except his kid brother….." he paused. His voice suddenly became soft as he said "for whom, try as he may, he can't stop caring for. Not even if there is a dark mark brandished on his arm, he will still be my baby brother…I'll always love him but there just isn't anything I can do" there was a finality in his tone "I refuse to interfere in his life and ruin it as he doesn't have what it takes to pay the price if he defies them" Sirius finished with a grimace. James of course understood what Sirius meant and he felt a stab of pain in his chest.
"So you are going to let him think you hate him?" he asked equally softly
"Even my idiot brother isn't idiot enough to think that" Sirius said, chuckling lightly
"I think he is idiot enough to think exactly that…"James said was watched Sirius visibly pale.
"how can he think that? Am I that convincing a liar? I have to be….I am a black after all, guess there is no escape to the venomous black blood" he mumbled, then in a slightly louder voice he said "but why should I hate him? Without any reason?"
"He has found his reasons" James said. Sirius turned to his best friend sharply. Remus too was looking at James intently.
"He hasn't been doing much about the shit that you hafta undergo at home" James said looking at Sirius in a way that left him in no doubt that James knew.
"But there is nothing he can do except save himself!" Sirius exclaimed, then sighing he continued "he is more of an idiot than I gave him credit for."
"He has to be, he is your brother after all" Remus said, smiling warmly
"Yes….my baby brother…"Sirius heaved another sigh. Both James and Remus were now looking at him, their expressions soft and warm.
"Then you don't hate me siri?" Regulus asked. All three boys jumped at the sudden intervention, Sirius looked positively staggered as he saw his brother step out from beneath the invisibility cloak. Now it was James's turn to look guiltily at his feet, while Remus studied the brother's, but Sirius had eyes only for one person.
It had been a month since he had even looked at his brother closely, let alone heard his voice…
"I- no – ofcourse I don't reg!" Sirius said, holding out his hands in welcome. The boy gladly rushed into them. Sirius ruffled the younger boy's hair and said "I was only ignoring you because I did not want you to endure more than you have to Reggie" he said. "I thought you would understand…." He added quietly
"I do now!" Regulus said glowing with happiness. Sirius smiled and held his brother for a moment longer, before the younger black pulled back slightly and looked up at his brother's face.
"Siri? Can you promise me something?" he asked. Sirius looked at him, raising a perfect eyebrow "that you won't come home for Christmas or Easter holidays?" Regulus asked. Sirius's eyebrow traveled further up his forehead "I don't want you to endure more than you have to either" Regulus said sweetly making Sirius laugh.
"Well, I only come away for you, but if you don't want me….."Sirius said in a mock hurt tone.
"Siri!" Regulus whined "okay okay, I wont" Sirius promised.
"Siri?" James suddenly called. Sirius turned around and glared. "No one was allowed to call him that, except his brother and Andy….."
"What Jamie?" Sirius asked, but James continued like he hadn't heard.
"Can you promise me something too?" he asked. Sirius rolled his eyes.
"Can you promise to let madam Pomfrey whisk you off to 's for the weekend? He asked.
"Hell no!" Sirius said
"Why not mate? I know now, and so will moony, so you could go, we'll cover for you!"
"We are so not talking about this James! Come on reg, its time to drop you back in the snake pit" Sirius said and just as Regulus vanished beneath the cloak, James called out
"Don't worry kiddo! I will convince him tonight"
"Don't bother waiting up, I'll sleep in the common room sofa tonight" Sirius muttered
"Tomorrow night then!" James said cheerfully "Remus will help too"
Sirius sighed and walked out with his brother.
A/N : ummm i have been reading too many sirius-regulus fanfics that it kinda got to me, so well i wrote my own! hope you liked it! oh and please do leave reviews!
