Fearless. It was the word Lena used one afternoon to describe Webby, which her family agreed accurately summed up the young adventurer. But Webby couldn't disagree more as she could think of several fears she held; her friends getting hurt, the family she had always wanted and finally found breaking apart, pushing people away with the odd behavior she wished she had better control over. Though not all, those were the top of the list. It just so happened she had no qualms with death traps or the occasional mythological creatures out for blood. Yes, the duckling had plenty of fears she was aware of, but one thought came to mind the second the teenage enchantress shot her the compliment, a thought that brought about the realization of a new terror.
If I'm really fearless why can't I tell you how I feel? Webby thought as she stared at Lena.
That was when it hit Webby, when unexplainable sensations got definitive answers. It was why her heart raced whenever she stood beside Lena, why the slightest smile or smirk (usually smirk) made her weak-kneed, why she constantly wanted to hold that hand or wrap her arms around those shoulders and never let go. It explained why - when she was lying in bed at night, her mind shooting in eight directions at once - the thought of Lena next to her could somehow soothe her to sleep. This was more than a friendship to Webby, something she'd never experienced before.
This was a crush.
She tried to push that realization away, but it was a mystery that had been solved, an answer that could not be forgotten. So she decided to do the next best thing and shut it in, locked away and never given shape or form in the world, never materialized into a statement and put out for any to hear. Her friendship with Lena was too important to ruin with a crush, and Webby was fairly certain it would fade over time, a silly thing to be laughed at and forgotten months later.
Months later and that thought had been almost inescapable. It constantly demanded her attention during those quiet moments of the day. The sensations she got from Lena had gotten considerably worse now that she was aware of what they meant. Luckily her life was one of constant danger and adventure that made the quiet moments few and far apart, and distractions were easy to come by in the McDuck mansion. Almost every day involved a trap to escape, a puzzle to decipher, and a mystery to solve.
Today was not one of those days.
Webby paced around her bedroom, trying to keep busy on this rainy afternoon. The triplets were out with Donald, returning the mansion to the quiet and lifeless home she'd come to learn every nook and corner of over the years. This feeling of emptiness had become oddly foreign to her over the last few months, the increase of souls occupying the estate magically erasing all those years spent by herself. Like muscle memory however, she could never truly forget what it felt like to be on her own. But loneliness, no matter if it felt as foreign as a culture on the other side of the world or as familiar as a best friend, was unable to strike fear in her right now.
Webby had stopped pacing to stand in front of her bookshelf, a large and intimidating amount of books crammed together to the last inch on almost every shelf. She'd hoped a title would pop out at her, offering a temporary release. If she couldn't stand her own thoughts, she could try reading the thoughts and observations of others. She'd had all these books memorized, with dog-eared page corners and highlighted sentences she found interesting. And as she stood there and scanned through the shelves over and over again, her mind trailed back to the inescapable subject, the center-point of her guilty fixation: Lena.
Romance was not Webby's specialty, skimmed over in mystery novels for the more interesting parts. It wasn't a question or a life-threatening scenario to escape, it was unrelatable and boring. It also required a second person, a partner to share things with. For the lonely girl who until recently knew nothing of company outside of her grandmother - and on rare occasion Scrooge - that wasn't a concept she could grasp. The urge to explore and discover, she could absolutely understand that, but not kissing or holding someone in your arms. It made her feel unprepared now, when she could use some answers on how to proceed, or in her case how to keep them from proceeding.
A knock on her door snapped her out of her thought and made her wonder how long she'd spent staring off into the nothingness beyond her books. "Yes granny?" She asked, certain that with Beakley and Scrooge the only other people home, it was her grandmother that had come to her door.
"Open up deary!" Shouted a voice that sounded more like an impression of A grandmother, certainly not hers. It sounded more like...
Lena? Lena!
Panic, like ice pressed against her spine mixed with a tightness in her chest that squeezed and stopped her breathing. What was Lena doing here? Why no call or heads up? Not that she was against seeing her best friend/crush, but she desperately needed a few minutes beforehand to prepare, otherwise she acted like the love-struck idiot she was. "One second!"
Deep breaths, it's just Lena. I've hung out with her a thousand times! Well not really a thousand but quite a bit! And so what if she's the most beautiful creature I've ever seen, like a cute snarky princess. Ohhh I need to draw that later! Some pointed edges, a bit of gray and some pink undertones to go with her cute hair!
Another couple knocks and she snaps out of her mental journey. "Today would be great if you were wondering."
Webby cursed herself for wasting precious time she already had too little of and forced her legs into motion towards the door. She gave a quick glance to the mirror on her vanity, a gift from Scrooge one Christmas that she never really bothered to use, and gave herself a once over. The nervous duck was never one to threat over her appearance, just another effect these new sensations were having on her. She examined her hair, adjusted her bow and fixed her sleeves.
If you really don't want to be with her why do you want her to notice you so badly?
Webby pushed the thought away and, satisfied enough with how she looked, opened her door. She was greeted by the sight of what she could only describe as a pink-haired, soaking wet angel. "Oh good, I was starting to think you climbed out the window." Webby chuckled nervously, trying her best to appear as natural as possible. Based on the look she received, it wasn't exactly a passable job
"Sorry, I had to pick up the room a bit. You know, messy and all." It was a bad excuse as she had an organization system for everything, something she knew Lena was well aware of. It was a terrible lie, and being a bad liar with bad material just made her look more suspicious. Or maybe she was overthinking that? Overthinking was her thing after all. Webby decided her best move was to change subjects and divert attention. "Why are you so wet?" she asked, looking her crush up and down. She tried not to linger too long on any given spot, especially her captivatingly cute face and messy hair that still looked unfairly perfect despite the wetness.
"Dude have you not seen the storm outside?" Webby suddenly remember that yes, there was a decent downpour happening outside this very moment. Did Lena get drenched in a storm just for her? Was that romantic longing or just friendship longing? Wait, was friendship longing an actual thing or just one of those social things she thought was a thing but wasn't? And did Lena not own an umbrella? Maybe she could get the teen one? In a non-romantic, strictly platonic friendship way "Hey, you ok?"
"Of course I am!" She shouted, aware that it was way too loud to come off anywhere close to sincere. Lena gave a doubtful glare, but instead of pursuing the subject simply shrugged. "I'm gonna grab you a jacket, you're probably freezing." The love-stricken duckling moved away from the door and rushed to her closet before her crush could even form a response. She leaned her entire body in and snuck a much-needed deep breath.
It took a moment to find something that would fit the decently taller girl, but Webby eventually found a purple jacket buried in the back of her wardrobe that was a size too big for herself. It had only been used for the colder winter nights to keep warm, as she enjoyed the freedom of much-too-long sleeves over the confined wrappings of a blanket. Was it weird that she hoped some of Lena's scent would rub off on it?
Yeah, stop being creepy Webby.
She turned back to the door and saw Lena pull her striped shirt over her head. Even though she kept her blue button-up on, Webby immediately averted her eyes and pointed them at the floor. A blush ran across her cheeks that she was sure stood out beneath her white feathers. She felt Lena approach and grab the jacket, their fingers briefly brushing against each other. She could swear her heart would jump out of her chest if it wasn't physically unable to. "Does it fit ok?" she asked, not daring to lift her eyes.
"A little tight, but beggars can't be choosers. How's it look?" Webby looked up and saw Lena, sporting her usual smirk with the jacket clinging to her enough to give the faintest hint of her curves. Webby can think of a lot of words she'd use to describe her; lovely, perfect, amazing; but instead she practiced some self-control and decided to go for a humorous approach.
"Impeccable, darling!" She said in her best English accent. "Why you'll be the talk of the town you will!" Lena chuckled, a sound that Webby felt zap the strength from her knees and nearly toppled her over. A doofy smile stretched across her face that she hoped didn't give Lena the wrong impression. Wouldn't the wrong impression be that I liked her, which is actually the correct one? The wrong correct impression?
"Oh why thanks darling," Lena shot back with her slightly less impressive accent, putting her hand on her hip and pushing it out a bit in her best impression of a modeling pose. "It'll be the talk of the town it will, sold in every shop from here to Paris." Webby laughed and tugged at a bit of her hair feathers. Lena did a quick spin to show the purple jacket from all sides before falling backwards onto Webby's bed. She absentmindedly played with the zipper of the jacket and stared at the ceiling, while Webby stared at her.
She's so perfect, so beautiful. I just want to tell her how amazing she is, how absolutely breathtaking she is. I wanna mess with her hair and lay my head on her chest and listen to her heartbeat and I wanna buy a tuxedo and give her a bouquet of flowers even though I don't think she's really much of a flowers person so maybe I should rethink that part but the tux sounds good I think she'd like me in a tux I should ask her and she could wear a fancy dress that twirled when she spins or she could wear a tuxedo too she'd look cute in anything really.
Lena turned her head to look at Webby, unaware of the smaller duckling's mile-a-minute. thoughts. "You alright? You're acting spacier than normal, your normal anyway."
"What yeah no I'm fine just thinking about tuxedos!" She answered, a bit too close to honesty in her opinion. She'd kick herself for that later, but she was already acting stranger than she'd preferred, thankfully Lena just figured it was her usual strangeness and nothing more
"I could see you in a tux," Lena responded as her gaze went up and down the shorter duckling before turning to the window across the room. Webby desperately wanted to ask for a followup to that comment. Was it a good image? Did Lena find it cute when she imagined it? Did it include a jacket or just the shirt and vest? What was her opinion on rolled-up sleeves?
Instead she stayed quiet and walked over to her bed, taking a seat on the floor. She pressed her back against the bed frame, sitting beside Lena's dangling legs. A near silence fell over the room, kept at bay by rain. Unlike most moments of her life, Webby stayed quiet and enjoyed just sitting close to Lena. She pressed the back of her head against the bed, brought her knees to her chest and stared at the window, watching the rain streak down the pane and listening to the rhythmic patter as it hit the glass pane.
It eased her nerves, nerves that brought on a small sadness the more she thought about them. She missed the days when she believed these were just normal friend feelings, when she didn't have to overthink her actions or lie all the time. Lying to Lena, it was the worst part of everything. The teen had been lied to enough from her aunt, now she was getting the same treatment from her supposed best friend? A friend that said she'd always be honest and there for the pink-haired duck?
She squeezed her legs closer to her chest and lowered her head, the feeling of shame rising within her. This wasn't fair to Lena, and it wasn't fair to her either. She didn't want these feelings, she wanted to have a best friend she didn't fantasize about kissing or cuddling with while watching mystery documentaries on rainy afternoons under a blanket. Ignoring these feelings wasn't working, and outside of avoiding Lena entirely there was no other solution she could see.
No, avoiding her isn't a solution! You can't do that to her! You can't do it to yourself either! How dare you even finish that thought, give it shape or meaning it doesn't deserve! That thought hurt her more than anything she'd ever felt in her life. She felt like she had finally reached the absolute bottom of this hole, that there was nowhere left to go. And honestly, if she was at the point where she'd push Lena away to hide these feelings, what was the point of fearing if revealing them would push her away as well? If Lena was going to stop being her friend, if that was an unavoidable outcome, it should at least come with honesty. Lena could know itwasn't something she did, but Webby's weirdness that ruined this relationship.
It was time to accept that this was real and that she didn't have the choice she thought she did. So, before her fear could take hold of her and force her back into this lie, this pathetic existence, she decided it was time for honesty, come what may. Webby rose to her feet, feeling a pressure trying to weigh her down. She only had to fight it long enough to lay down on her bed, an arm's length from the object of her affection, and then she could plan from there. The weak-legged duckling managed and laid her back against the mattress. She could sense Lena's eyes on her, but didn't dare meet them, instead opting to burn a hole in the ceiling. She cleared her throat and tried to imagine the best approach to this, stealthy or blunt?
Standing to lay beside her on the bed had zapped her of courage, so she felt a tactical approach was the best way to proceed, like looking for traps before touching the treasure in the middle of the room. Was it bad she'd rather be facing a death trap at this moment? "Hey, have you ever had a crush?" Webby asked, praying it was so out-of-nowhere that it didn't raise too many warning flags for the mischievous teen duck who could read her like a book if she really wanted to. She could feel Lena shift on the bed and for a brief second was tempted to look, knowing she'd meet her gaze if she did. She resisted, knowing the hypnotic effect of those beautiful dark eyes would steal away all the strength she desperately needed.
"Yep, they're the worst. Why, gotta crush on somebody?" she asked. The teen leaned in closer and rested her head in the palm of her hand, elbow pressed into the mattress. The tone in her voice was one of deep interest, the one the mage used whenever she was telling Webby new gossip on favorite bands.
"Yeah, I don't know what to do. I thought I could ignore it until it went away, but it's only gotten worse." Webby admitted. She could feel the constriction in her chest slightly give as she slowly put out small bits of honesty. She felt the ability to move return to her body, if only a little, and turned to glance at Lena, who returned the look with sympathy. "I just want things to go back to normal, when I wasn't lying all the time." Lena dropped the cool demeanor and inched nearer, close enough Webby could faintly smell the rain on her. She thought the scent was beautiful, that it mixed well with Lena's deodorant and blended into a beautiful earthiness. Part of her wanted to get closer for more. "And I want to stop thinking weird things all the time."
Lena nodded, "First of all, you only ever think weird things, it's cool. Second, Webby and normal don't go together. I'd say unique in the awesomest way is a better fit." Webby cracked a brief smile and a small snicker, accepting the weird comment as true, while the compliment caused a slight fluttering sensation. "Ignoring it doesn't make it go away, you gotta tell them." Lena's hand reached out and for a moment Webby thought it was going for her own, but instead it merely stopped and rested a few teasing inches away, just begging to be grabbed and squeezed and never let go.
"I want to, but I don't want things to change. I'd rather have them be my friend than nothing at all you know? It feels like I just started making friends and I already found a way to mess it up. I just wanted people to like me and want to be around me!" Webby stopped for a quick breath, an attempt to try and find her courage. She could feel her eyes begin to water, could see the cloudiness forming. She'd start crying soon if she couldn't manage to calm down, and she was not about to cry in front of this breathtaking creature beside her. The bow-wearing duckling started fiddling with her vest, tugging at the edge of the bottom in an attempt and managed to continue. "What do I do? I'm scared, more scared than I've ever been in my entire life. I've fought dragons and gods and this terrifies me?" She wanted Lena's hand, wanted to hold it and feel it's grip on hers, but she resisted to the best of her ability and kept her hands attached to her vest.
Lena laid back and held her arms across her chest. Webby noticed they were barely centimeters apart at this point and that fact would have taken her down several imaginary scenarios if she'd allowed it. "Things change dude, it doesn't mean they always change for the worse. Maybe whoever this person is feels the same way? Maybe they're lying awake at night thinking 'Hey, this Webby, she's amazing and cute and yeah, a little weird but in like an adorable way. I wish I could just hold her and kiss her and tell her that she's perfect.'"
All these hypothetical comments brought both a joy and sadness to Webby. Yes, she'd imagined plenty of times where this magnificent, perfect girl would compliment her, but they were twisted up in the imaginary scene Lena had painted, as if reading from a script that brought the words into existence with no meaning or sincerity behind them to truly make them real. "Lena, I-"
"Webby, let me talk for a minute ok? I need to keep going before I can't y'know? If I stop now I don't know how much longer it'll take me to get back here so I just need to talk and finish this and get it over with." Webby shot a puzzled look at Lena, who's voice wavered like someone playing with a radio's volume, up and down. Lena took quick, shallow breaths and turned her head from the ceiling to the wall, hiding her face from Webby. "And maybe scaring them away is better than the lies and doubt and ok maybe they are your best and only friend and you don't wanna lose that but change already happened because you're not being honest with them and everything you do is tainted with these feelings you didn't choose to have." Lena was talking so fast it made keeping up difficult, but Webby managed, and this description felt like a summary of all her own behaviors read back to her. When spoken aloud it sounded ridiculous and she felt embarrassed to have been living that way these past few months.
"It makes you do stupid things like walk in the rain just to be in the same room as them, even if all you do is lay on their bed and listen to their problems and think about how much you just want to hold their hand and mess with their hair and never give their jacket back because it feels like a part of them protecting you and..." Lena seemed to run out of steam and went silent. She had spoken so softly it was almost lost to the sound of the storm outside. Webby had caught it all though, and...
And for a second she doesn't understand and tried to find a hidden meaning buried under the surface, a metaphor only a gorgeous person like Lena knew. But a wave of clarity smashed down and the rain outside is drowned out by her thoughts shooting in thousands of directions, all leading back to one question: was Lena admitting something or was she just being oddly specific? No, there was no way the panic that had built up over months of suppression had no reason to occupy space in her mind anymore. And there was zero chance this beautiful angel with the cutest face, so perfect in every way, felt the same way as her.
But maybe she did, maybe this was the happiest moment in her - admittedly not too long just yet - life? Maybe she had somehow won Lena's heart somewhere along the way and didn't realize it? Maybe those nights she had trouble sleeping cause her mind refused to stop thinking about Lena were unknowingly shared with the magic teen thinking about her? And maybe she was coming up with too many maybes and overthinking things like she had a habit of doing.
"Please tell me I was right and I'm your crush cause I'm feeling like an idiot right now." Lena continued to face the wall, avoiding Webby's gaze. That didn't matter though, the younger duckling had that wonderful face etched in memory, and from how her voice cracked and broke she could easily picture the look on Lena's face that moment. It was the fear of rejection, the same fear that had held Webby captive and silent. Only Lena's was multiplied by years of feeling unwanted, used only for the goals of her aunt and nothing more.
An odd cascade of emotions hit one after another, fused together. There was immense joy that Lena had somehow, by some miracle, felt the same way as her. But it blended with the sadness of seeing the cutest creature in the world trying to keep tears at bay, tears Webby felt she was responsible for. Words weren't coming to her, but an action did, a simple one that could show just what she was feeling in this moment. Quickly, Webby found Lena's hand and gripped it tightly, fingers curled around each other in what could only be described as a perfect fit.
Lena turned her head back to Webby, a streak of tears under each eye. Webby wanted to kiss her and tell her that yes, it was always and only Lena she had eyes for, that any fantasies about the future always had Lena at her side, holding her hand and sharing laughs and sadness and pain and joy. She wanted to say that she'd be Lena's knight for the rest of her life, would be her shield and sword at all times, not just ones of need. And yet she was too flooded with emotions to properly verbalize these thoughts and desires. She opened her mouth, "Of course it's you," she managed to push out before she buried her face in Lena's shoulder. A few tears escaped, not of pain or sadness, but of joy. Webby couldn't really grasp the concept of being so happy you'd cry, always thinking it was an dramatization of writers looking to add ridiculous levels of emotion into their stories. Could you really be so happy that you cried from it?
The answer turned out to be yes.
"Sorry I'm crying on you," she whispered, which somehow got a chuckle from Lena. "And I'm sorry I lied to you for so long, I didn't want you to think I was being weird." Webby apologized. Lena wiped at her own eyes and took a few deep breaths between snickering. She gave Webby's hand a firm squeeze.
"You're always weird, but it's super cute. I'm sorry too, I tried to tell you a few times but I kept chickening out. We're kind of idiots, huh?"
"I know I am, but if I got you to like me I must have done something right." The shorter duckling felt like her friendship with Lena had returned to normal, to the days before the lying and hiding, the ones she'd missed terribly. But it had also morphed into something unfamiliar and exciting, like a new adventure just for Lena and herself to share. It was a weird mix, a return to normality while also changing into something strange and amazing. For a couple minutes they just laid in Webby's bed and held each others hand, letting this change in dynamic process in their minds. Webby was the first to break the silence, feeling like her courage hadn't just returned but doubled in size from what it had once been.
"Would you mind if I put my head on your chest?" Webby asked, hoping the request didn't come across as odd. She was unaware of how their dynamic worked going forward and made a mental note to compile a list of questions to go over with Lena later.
"I'd like that," Lena responded, releasing her grip on Webby's hand and lifting her arm so the shorter duckling could scoot closer. Webby laid her head on Lena's chest and listened to her heartbeat. It sounded as wonderful as she'd imagined it, rhythmic and soothing like it was casting a spell on her. The young girl took comfort in knowing that this would be the first of many cuddles in her future.
"So, does this mean I'm your girlfriend now?"
"I hope so, but only if you wanna be." Lena curved her arm around Webby's back and held her close.
Yes, she desperately wanted that. She couldn't imagine a scenario where she didn't want that. She hummed an affirmative and wrapped her arm around Lena's stomach and hip, careful not to squeeze too roughly. "I don't know much about relationship stuff, do we kiss and trade clothes and move in together?"
"How about a couple dates first?"
I wanted them to kiss at the end cause I love schmaltz, but I didn't think it'd come across as a natural progression from confessing feelings to immediate kiss. Headcanon the next day, it's awkward at first but they laugh and improve after was also written to escape the depressing end of the first season finale, here's hoping we get Lena back and they continue writing her and Webby as totally not lesbian (but absolutely lesbian) buds.
Thanks to my girlfriend, who got sneak peeks but suffered as I listened and sang the same songs for an entire weekend. I swear Latch by Disclosure probably has an extra thousand views from my repeat button. I also based a lot of crush symptoms off of experience with her.
P.S she loved the story and the singing.