Disclaimer: JE owns them. I do not.

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Unlikely Southern Belle

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Part 1

Stephanie's POV

It was time for the annual Policeman's Ball, and Joe Juniak had invited Ranger and me to come as his guests. We were sitting in his office discussing our plans when there was a knock on the door.

"Yo," Ranger called out.

Lester entered the office. "Boss. Beautiful. Just thought you might be interested to hear the latest gossip," he said.

"I so do not need to hear what the 'Burg has to say about me this time," I said, sighing.

"Not about you, Steph."

"Oh, then spill it!" I laughed, grinning when Ranger rolled his eyes playfully.

"Rumor has it that Joyce is going with Morelli to the Policeman's Ball. I heard that on my way out to the job site this morning."

"Wow, I need to call Connie and Lula to confirm," I said, hurrying out of Ranger's office to my own.

Picking up the phone, I dialed the bonds office.

"Vincent Plum Bail Bonds," Connie's whiskey-smooth voice called over the line.

"Hey, Con, it's Steph. Have either you or Lula heard anything about Joyce going to the Policeman's Ball with Joe?"

"Hey, Steph, hold on. Let me ask her." I heard murmuring in the background, and then Connie came back on the line. "She was going to call you later. She heard—"

I heard fumbling and some arguing, and then Lula's voice said, "White girl, they be going together and everything, but I don't think it's serious. Then earlier, I was out shopping for some shoes—ya know, Macy's is having a big sale—and I saw Joyce out shopping for a dress. I swear, it was the biggest mess of lace and hoop skirts I've ever seen!"

I laughed so hard that I began to cry, and when Ranger and Lester came running in, I laughed even harder. They looked at me, confused, and as I hung up the phone, I tried to compose myself.

"Joyce—" I paused, trying to catch my breath. "Joyce dressed as a southern belle."

The guys just looked at me and then at each other, rolling their eyes.

"Babe," Ranger said, sounding exasperated.

"What? It's so far from true, you can't help but be amused."

I began to laugh again as they turned and walked out of my office. I knew the image of Joyce as a southern belle would make me laugh the rest of the day.

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Part 2

It was the evening of the Policeman's Ball, and Ranger and I were getting ready.

"Zip me up, please," I requested, walking out of the bathroom to the bedroom, where Ranger was pulling on his dress shoes.

"I'm going to be the envy of every man there, Babe," he said, his voice husky as he slowly raised my zipper.

"Thanks, Batman. You look, well, you look like you always do," I said, rolling my eyes. "Do you ever look bad?"

He chuckled. "Go finish getting ready, Babe. We need to leave in thirty minutes."

I hurried back to the bathroom and finished fixing my hair, leaving it in loose curls down around my shoulders. When I finished putting on my makeup, I grabbed my wrap and slid on my brand new bright red FMPs, which matched my new siren red, knee-length, strapless gown.

I watched Ranger as I walked out into the living room and handed him my wrap. Giving a wolf-whistle, he took one hand and spun me around in a slow circle. "Babe, you are absolutely stunning."

"Thank you, Carlos. Help me with my wrap?"

He took the wrap from my hand and moved around behind me to drape it lightly around my shoulders. After grabbing his keys, he took my arm and led me downstairs.

I wasn't sure how we managed it, but we made it down to the Cayenne without running into any of the Merry Men. Driving down to the Civic Center, Ranger pulled up and found Hector, who was helping park cars. He handed Hector the keys and then came around and opened my door for me.

We walked into a huge room filled with tables and a giant dance floor. Music was playing loudly in the background as Ranger led us over to the correct table.

"I thought we might need to tame the beast first," he said, just as my stomach decided to let itself be heard.

"Thank you," I told him, laughing.

We ate a quick dinner as we watched other couples come inside and find seats. Joe Juniak and his wife made their way to our table, followed by two other couples. After making polite conversation for a few minutes, Ranger took my hand and pulled me up beside him.

"Dance with me?" At my nod, he smiled to the rest of the group. "Excuse me while I take this beautiful woman out onto the floor to show her off as we dance."

They all grinned and said they would join us shortly.

We'd been dancing for a few minutes when a hush rippled through the crowd. My eyes made their way over to the door, and I saw Joe and Joyce walk in. Sure enough, she looked like a slutty southern belle. I began to laugh quietly, my stomach hurting from the strain of trying to be quiet. No one else saw me, thank goodness. As much as it amused me, I didn't want to draw attention to Joe especially by making fun of him.

"Babe? You going to be okay?" Ranger asked as he laughed quietly beside me.

"I didn't think the image of Joyce I had in my head could get any funnier, but you add in Joe, and it became much, much worse!"

Several hours later, we were back in the Cayenne on our way back to RangeMan. I pulled out my cell phone to call Lula.

"Lula, you couldn't even begin to imagine how great it was when Joe and Joyce showed up! Even better than Joyce's dress, Joe was the center of attention. He had—" My voice cracked as I laughed hard again. "He had a zit on the center of his forehead. I swear, it was the biggest pimple I've ever seen! I'm not sure which was worse. The zit or the dress. Either way, they're certainly going to be the talk of the ball!"