I said I'd write a story someday, so here I am. Feel free to tell me I suck at writing..gently.I am rating this M maybe, I don't know. Please tell me what you guys think.
It was torment for Randy to watch John, his best friend, making out with Justin. He always had to watch,and he hated it. He secretly wished Justin's lips would fall off so that John wouldn't have any lower lip to nibble on.
See, Randy had been John's best friend for over a decade. He had even been best man in John's wedding, which only happened to hide the fact that he liked boys. Randy on the other hand had no problem with his sexuality. He was openly gay and he loved it. It was courtesy of him that John learned to accept it and come out too. So the divorce had happened and John began to openly date men.
At first, the dates were casual for them both, but soon John was taken by the brown eyed slightly accented south African. Randy thought it wouldn't last long,just like John's other interests but when it did, Randy's world came to an abrupt halt,along with the dreams of having a future with him.
Randy was never serious in relationships. He'd go out on a few dates,but once it got serious, he'd run. He thought it'd be too much work to maintain a relationship, and he didn't need that kind of a responsibility, not just yet. Or so he liked to tell himself.
The other reason, which he always convinced himself wasn't the real one, was the fact that he had it bad for John. He had had it for a while now,and despite his confidence and attitude, he just couldn't bring himself to confess his ever growing feelings for his best friend. So he just watched in sadness, as John flirted and danced and slept with guys. Many are the times he'd go to his room and cry his eyes out in frustration and the fear that one day John would get tired of hopping into bed with random men and get someone serious,and it wouldn't be him.
And John did. He got attracted to Justin and began the casual hanging out,and as days went by,their casual dates became steady. The first day John told Randy about dating Justin seriously had been the hardest for the tattooed man. He had gone to the bar and drunk himself to oblivion,and cried for hours. Now,six months later,John and Justin were still together and Randy was yet to come into terms with it. The fact that he roomed together with them at most times, and the pair was the touchy feely type pissed him off to no end. Yes he wanted his friend's happiness. He even prayed for him every day, but he never quite imagine it would be with someone else let alone the high flier.
"Randy!",he heard John shout his name, pulling him out of his intense thoughts.
"Sorry Johnny. I seem to have zoned out there for a minute.". He said, a little embarrassed.
"A minute?". John countered with a smile."Dude,you've been out for the better part of the hour."
Randy looked at his watch and smiled sheepishly. "Right, sorry!". He rubbed his eyes then looked back at John then Justin. "What!"
"John asked you if you're still coming out with us later.". Justin said. Randy raised an eyebrow, and Justin finished, "...to the baseball game?"
"Oh,right! The baseball game. Yeah, sure. I'll be there."
John regarded him momentarily, like he wanted to say something, but he just nodded his head. He took Justin's hand and waved his hand at Randy. "Four thirty Randy. Don't be late."
Randy nodded and sighed as he watched them walk away,He cursed loudly for letting himself be caught spaced out. When they turned the corner,he shut his eyes and shook his head,then got up and slowly made his way to the parking lot.
He never went to the baseball game.
John never asked him why.
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As weeks went by,Randy became more withdrawn and subdued towards John and Justin. He never went places with them anymore, always making up excuses, and ending up holed in his room,doing things that the medics would term as self destructive.
John had noticed Randy's behavior change,and it surprised him mainly because he had never seen his friend acting like that before. He tried talking to him but he always heard the same excuses,so he just left him alone,knowing he wouldn't get anything out of Randy, no matter how much he tried, unless Randy wanted to talk.
This night however, was different. Randy seemed distracted, even in the ring. He had watched in utter shock as Randy,who was always so focused and always on the go, sold his moves,hence botching his match with Sheamus.
Randy cursed as he went backstage. He knew he'd hear it from the COO and a few colleagues. He never expected, whatsoever, to hear a tirade from the man who always let him get away with murder.
"What the hell happened out there Orton?" He was greeted by none other than his young friend, Cody Rhodes, who came bursting through Randy's locker room like he had every right to be there.
"Good to see you too Codes.". Randy replied sarcastically.
Cody waved him off angrily. "Fuck that! What the hell did you do out there Randy?"
Randy shrugged, and responded like it wasn't a big deal.
"Nothing! Relax dude, I only sold a few moves."
Cody's eyes grew wide in incredulity at the audacity of the tattooed man. "What? ". He asked angrily. He knew about Randy's more than platonic feelings for his best friend and how badly it was affecting him,he himself having gone through a similar situation with his then best friend Ted, who was now his boyfriend of four years. He felt bad for Randy, but at the same time,he was furious with him because he sometimes compromised his career. Like now."A few moves? Are you listening to yourself right now? Randy, you practically botched the whole motherfucking match!"
Randy shrugged again, throwing a towel over his shoulder, and turned to the still wide eyed angry beyond belief Cody. "Ok! So I botched it, damn! Am sorry I didn't mean to. Am exhausted, I haven't eaten or slept for days and am hung over from here to St Luis. What do you want me to do?"
"How about a little professionalism? You've been off your game for days now Randy and I understand why because I've been there myself, but am not going to stop trying to hammer some sense into you because am your friend and that's what friends do. What you did out there was totally and utterly idiotic and irresponsible!"
Randy narrowed his eyes,and countered in a low voice. "Watch it kid! You don't know shit about what I've been through so you better watch your goddamn mouth!"
Cody wasn't going to back down. "Oh really?I don't know shit? Forgive me if am wrong but I remember that not so long ago, I was in the same damn situation you are in right now, and I made the same stupid decisions you're making. You didn't have a problem drilling some sense into me,and you think am gonna watch you act like an asshole and say nothing?"
Randy's tone softened a little." At least you never had to watch Ted make out with another guy on a regular. You never had to share a room and hear him pounding into someone else and fucking cumming for all he was worth!".
Cody backed down a little. "Ok. Maybe I didn't experience all that, but it didn't stop me from doing all the shitty stuff broken hearted people do. You were there for me Randy. Am just trying to be there for you too."
Randy sighed and lost the anger. "I know,and I love you for all that Codes and much more. Look, I promise I'll talk to Sheamus and H, tomorrow. Right now I badly need a shower and a coffee or I'll fall asleep at the wheel. Plus I wanna get out of here before John brings his wrath down on me."
Cody laughed and nodded. "Then you better run,because you sure as hell are going to get an ass kicking from him."
Randy snorted."Maybe he doesn't care. Or the boyfriend is giving him the good luck ride of the decade.". He said a bit sadly.
Cody smirked, a hint of sadness in his own eyes. He really felt for Randy. "Am sure he cares. He's just a little preoccupied right now,no need to worry Besides, bitch ain't got nothing on you. Am sure Flybourne can easily attest to that!". He said,winking.
Randy laughed loudly and flipped him off as he disappeared to the showers. He barely heard Cody shout,"I'll bring you the coffee.", as he went out of the locker room.
John never discussed that match with him.
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"Take a walk with me for a minute John will ya?"
John whipped around only to be met by one of Cody's intense stares. He immediately tensed but obeyed without questions.
They went to the nearby park and sat on one of the unoccupied benches. They sat and an awkward silence befell them,each lost in his own thoughts which Cody,albeit hesitantly, broke.
"Listen John. I need to tell you something but you have to promise that you didn't hear it from me."
"What's up Cody?"
"Just promise me.". Cody said, a tad too harsh which had John raise an eyebrow. "It's about Randy."
John,upon hearing that, tensed,as he had earlier when Cody tore him from the group . "Ok Codes, I promise."
Cody took a deep breath and started. "I guess you've noticed how weird Randy has been behaving lately right?" John nodded.
"You also saw how he botched his match with Sheamus three nights ago right?". He did not wait for John to answer. "That night,he needed a friend. He needed someone to tell him that it was ok to fuck up once in a while,but he didn't have one. So he turned to the only other companion he knew, the bottle, and drunk himself to a stupor. He needed you,but you were busy having a drinking contest. You weren't his friend that night. You haven't been for sometime now."
John forehead furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"I mean that you've been so wrapped up in your own life that you have forgotten who stood by you all those years,fighting your battles,wiping your tears,sticking by you no matter what crap you threw his way."
John's jaw twitched. He remembered the shit Randy had to take from him in the past. " What are you saying Codes? That I've neglected Randy? That am a bad friend?"
Cody nodded defiantly. "You're damn right! That's exactly what am saying."
"That's not true! I haven't forgotten him! I've been there for him!"John shouted,clearly getting ,not fazed by the harsh tone and the glare John was throwing his way, continued.
"When was that John? Coz last time I checked Randy has been eating alone,traveling alone,even rooming alone!"
John threw his hands indignantly. "It's not my fault that he's decided to go solo! I've tried talking to him but he won't tell me anything!"
Cody huffed. "Talked? He doesn't need talking to John! He needs company! Something that you don't seem to be able to offer anymore."
John narrowed his eyes,now getting pissed. He hissed. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean Cody?"
Cody shrugged. "It means you stopped giving a damn about him since that jerk came into your life John. Tell me when was the last time you had coffee together, without Justin tagging along. Tell me when was the last time you thanked him for doing little things for you like making sure you get your coffee every morning. Tell me when was the last time you were there for him when he got too drunk to even open his door. Tell me when was the last time you just sat together and simply enjoyed each other's company."
John was about to retort but he realized it was no use. Cody was right. He had neglected his best friend. The only guy who really knew him. The only guy who understood him. The only guy who was left behind to pick up the pieces after everyone else had deserted him,even his own family. The guy who risked his life to save John's. He had ignored him because he was too busy trying to please Justin. A guy that knew nothing about him. A guy that he wasn't even sure he loved.
His head fell in his hands and all Cody could see was how his body shook as tears of guilt and shame fell uncontrollably. Cody just sat there and allowed John to let it out. Long moments later,John lifted his head to look at Cody and the emotion he saw in those red rimmed eyes threatened his own resolve. He held it together though, for John and Randy. If Randy couldn't tell his friend how he felt then Cody would force John to acknowledge his own feelings.
John, on the other hand, was having the inner battle of the century. The hatred he felt for Justin at that moment was so much he knew he never wanted to see him again. He felt like it was Justin's fault he had neglected Randy. Justin always did things that were pulling him away from Randy, and being so blinded by the gorgeous body and the brown eyes,he hadn't realized how badly he had treated Randy.
Cody was not done talking though. "Sorry John but I had to do this. Randy is my friend too and he's hurting,and that hurts me."
John shook his head and replied, voice hoarse from crying. "No no Cody. Don't apologize. Am the moron, I never looked at it like that.". He got up and paced then kicked the grass in fury."Fuck! How could I not see it? How could I have been so fucking blind? Fucking Justin! That was his plan all this time! He kept wanting to go where Randy was not,and do what Randy was not doing, and like a puppy on a fucking leash, I went along with it! Am so fucking stupid!"
He pressed his eyes with the heel of his palms. When he looked back at Cody, he sighed.
"Will Randy ever forgive me?"
Cody secretly smiled. He knew he was ruining one relationship but he didn't care. He had to be honest,at least for Randy. So he revealed the only thing he knew would make John leave Justin for good.
"He will,if you talk to him. And since we are in the moment of truth, am going to tell you something that you probably don't want to hear,but I'll say it anyway."
John arched his brow, sitting back on the bench.
"Yours is not the only dick justin has been acquainting himself with, John."
John's face turned crimson. He hissed, almost inaudibly. "What the fuck are you talking about Cody?"
Cody sighed. "He's been sleeping with Wade too Johnny. Am sorry. "
John's anger suddenly left him and he felt an emptiness he never knew existed. He just inhaled and his shoulders sagged like he was very tired.
"Am sorry Johnny." Cody said sympathetically.
John again shook his head and laughed mirthlessly." No, it's my fault. All my damn fault. Why am I even surprised? I knew he was a slut even before I decided to date him. I picked him in a bar for fucksake."
Cody shrugged and the awkward silence befell them once again, which John this time broke.
"Listen Cody, I really want to thank you for meddling in my business, because I wouldn't have learned all this if you hadn't. I owe you a huge one."
Cody chuckled." And I'll make sure you pay."
They sat there in silence until it was broken by Cody's phone. He glanced at it and looked at John.
"That's Ted. He's gonna have my ass for dinner..literally. Not a word to anyone Johnny."
John smiled and nodded. Cody pressed the answer button and started talking as they made their way back to the hotel.
Randy finished dressing and picked his gym bag. He looked around to make sure he hadn't left anything important. As he was about to leave, the door to his locker room opened and he whirled around to find John leaning on the door frame,a small smile on his face.
"Hey Randy,". John greeted.
"Hey."
They stood staring at each other,neither saying a word,until Randy looked away and shifted his legs in nervousness." I..uh I was just leaving. You needed something?"
John nodded. "Yeah. I was actually hoping I could talk to you,if that's alright?"
Randy sighed. "Make it quick then. Am having dinner with Cody and Ted and am already late as it is."
John nodded. "It's okay. Go to dinner, this can wait."
John made it seem unimportant but Randy noticed the urgency, so he offered. "We can meet at Tony's in two hours,but I really have to go now."
John broke into a grin that had Randy smiling too. "Great! I'll see you then. Enjoy dinner and say hi to those lovebirds."
Randy nodded and they both made their way to the parking lot in silence.
John was on his second beer as Randy entered Tony's bar. He looked around and smiled when he spotted John, making his way over. John smiled back when he sat down across him.
"How was dinner?"
"Great. The guys miss you."
John smiled."Do you?"
Randy inhaled. "Of course I do."
The waiter came, took their orders and left. John was studying Randy who was looking at everyone else but him.
"Randy look at me.". He looked up at John. "I miss you too."
Randy said nothing. He just held John's gaze.
"I know I haven't treated you right since Justin. I haven't paid any attention to you,or listened to you,or spent time with you. Am sorry."
Randy shut his eyes in obvious pain and emotion. He was dumb struck. John,who had been ignoring him for close to six months was suddenly apologizing to him, and he did not know what to say. So he said nothing.
John,on the other hand,still had a lot to say,and he was determined to say it despite Randy's hesitation, which panicked him a little. He had to say everything he had inside, even if Randy wouldn't be in agreement.
"I took you for granted. I ignored you. I stopped caring. I stopped being there. I forgot where we've come from me and you. I trivialized your commitment to this friendship. I was selfish and inconsiderate. Am self absorbed and full of shit. Am an ungrateful stupid idiot that hurts the people he cares about."
Randy almost smiled. He almost triumphed. That pretty much summed up the Cena that John had become. He neither triumphed nor smiled though, he stayed silent.
"Please say something."
Randy relented. "What did I ever do to deserve that from you Johnny? I've been good to you,I've been there for you, always, then he came along and you tossed me aside like I was no use to you anymore. I thought I was special, to you at least,I thought our friendship was stronger than that."
It took John all his willpower not to break down right there in front of Randy. Those words that were coming from his best friend's mouth made his heart bleed. The amount of self loathing he felt at that moment was so immense it was overwhelming.
"Randy..". Randy ignored him.
"Do you have any idea how much you've hurt me over the years? I went through hell for you. I spent months in prison for you. Do you know what they do to people in prison John? They beat you,they torture you,they humiliate you,they rape you,they shove gross objects up your ass! I took it all like a man,just because I valued you,our friendship!"
A few tears escaped John's eyes and he quickly wiped them."Ran.."
"Am not done talking. Do you know why I botched my match with Sheamus? Because I knew you had to say something about it,and if it was the only way i could get your attention so be it. You didn't even notice and if you did, you didn't care. You used to care for my matches Johnny. You used to be interested in them to call me on it whenever I messed up,and I botched that one intentionally, to get your attention, your reaction. When you refused to even acknowledge it,my heart broke into a thousand pieces."
John could hold back no more. Tears fell fast,and he tried to wipe them with the back of his hand, but the more he did the faster they fell. Randy took a handkerchief from his jeans pocket and handed it to him. He watched in turmoil as John cried his heart out,his own chest constricting in pain at the knowledge that he was the one causing it. He did not let it bother him much though because,even through all that anguish, he felt liberated. Like a ton heavy load had been lifted off his shoulders,and all the anger and bitterness he felt towards John evaporated for the first time in months.
John on the other hand was consumed in guilt. He couldn't even begin to fathom how selfish and cruel he had been to Randy. He cried uncontrollably,not caring that other patrons were watching, until he had nothing left. When he finally stopped and composed himself, he looked at Randy through red rimmed eyes and posed the one question he knew would determine the course their friendship would take.
"Forgive me, please?"
Randy regarded him for a long time without saying a word. John nervously watched him as he battled with different emotions and it was all he could do not to pull Randy into his arms and squeeze him till they both died. After what seemed like an eternity, Randy took John's hand in his and held it. He gently squeezed it and smiled the first genuine smile in months,that was directed to John.
"Yeah."
John broke into a blinding grin that made him look like a giddy little boy. They sat like that,gazing into each other, neither saying anything, just enjoying the feeling of completion, the feeling of being together again with no barriers between them. Then ever so slowly, John rose from his chair and captured Randy's lips into his for the first and the most emotional kiss of their lives. They pulled apart when they heard some patrons clapping and others whistling ,while a few cat calls flew their way. They smiled at each other,eyes still locked, this time showing a different,intense more welcome emotion. Randy pecked John's lips as he stood and threw some dollars on the table.
"Let's get out of here." He said as he took John's hand and led him out.
John waved to the people and followed Randy out,the clapping fading in the background with every step they took.
John stretched and smiled as he he felt the warm body that was pressed against his. He traced his fingers on the smooth cheek and followed them with a kiss.
"I love you.". He whispered into the sleeping man's ear and tightened his hold,and snuggled even closer.
Randy froze. His breath hitched and his heart sped. John had said it. He had said those words that Randy had only heard in his own dreams,or in his own world where only he and John existed. No way. John had to be dreaming, Randy thought and he convinced himself that it was just a dream and he was just settling back to sleep when he heard it again.
"Am in love with you Randy."
No way could that have been a dream. Randy thought as he jerked his head around and came face to face with John Cena's intoxicating smile and the bluest eyes he'd ever seen,which he always got lost in.
"I do. I've tried to deny it for so long but I've realized I've just been fooling myself."
Randy was over the moon. He could not believe it. John Cena loved him. The man he's always wanted. The man who was the cause of numerous wet dreams. The man he knew with the utmost certainty was his whole future. He sent heavens a grateful wink. Just as his elation peaked, it fell when he remembered John still had Justin.
"Please say something Randy."
"You're are taken. You and Justin.."
John put a finger on Randy's lips,shushing him.
"Shh. Me and Justin nothing. I kicked his ass to the curb."
Randy made an o,and his eyes asked why,to which John replied like is was the most common occurrence in the world.
"Bitch was cheating on me."
Randy made another o." Don't worry, I didn't love him. A huge rko filled my heart so much there was no room for even digit him didn't hurt."
Randy smiled. He knew John was telling the truth, and it gave him so much comfort to know that Justin may have had John's body but he missed his heart,because it was his.
"Randy.."
"I love you too Johnny. I have for sometime."
John's eyes glistened. Randy took his lips in his and gave him a long lingering kiss. When the need for air became desperate, they pulled apart and rested their foreheads together.
"No more ignoring me John."
"No more."
"Good. Because I never want to feel like that again."
"Never. This time we are forever Randy."
Randy smiled." I can do forever."
"And no more random sex.". John said thickly.
"Even once?."
"No!"
"Threesome?"
John punched his arm.
"Ouch! Fine,vanilla John. You're no fun."
He smashed his lips on John's, and started teasing his lips, licking at the lower one. John moaned and parted his lips,allowing Randy's tongue to delve inside. He licked and sucked and bit and nibbled until their lungs screamed for air. He trailed his kisses along John's face,tongue tracing the eyes,nose the dimples,outline of his jaws,back to lips and finally to the neck.
"Feels good Ran."
Randy smirked as his hands traveled south to rub his nipples while his mouth still made acquaintance with his neck. John arched as he felt Randy rubbing his nipples to hardness. Randy's mouth followed his hands as he put one hardened nub into his mouth while teasing the other with his fingers, eliciting a moan from John.
"You like that Johnny?"
"Oh God,yeah."
Randy smirked as his tongue left the nipples and traveled further south where it gave tantalizing licks to John's navel. John was panting and moaning and arching his back looking for more contact.
"Put your hands on me Ran."
Randy rubbed him through the boxers, loving the way his breath hitched, and licked the outline of his cock through the flimsy material, and John involuntarily bucked up as he hissed.
"More Randy. I want more."
In one swift movement, Randy removed John's boxers and swallowed him whole.
"Holy mother..oh fuck!" John screamed as he felt his cock hit the back of Randy's throat.
"Fuck Randy! That feels so fucking good."
Randy licked the vein from the base to the top, then teased the head before taking him all the way down then back up,and started bobbing his head up and down,one hand holding John's hips to still him while the other held the base of the cock.
"Oh god! Don't stop! Fuck baby! Please don't stop!" John moaned as his eyes rolled to the back of his head and his stomach tightened as he felt himself getting close.
"Baby, am gonna cum. Harder, faster! God Am so close."
Randy hummed against John's cock and sent him over the edge.
"Oh yeah!Fuck baby!I love you." John screamed as strings of cum shot down Randy's throat,who swallowed everything and milked him to the last drop,then came up to kiss him.
"That was amazing baby. I love you so much."
"I love you too Johnny. You are amazing."
John smiled and his eyes darkened in desire." So are you. Let me show you how much."
He leaned in and took Randy's lips.
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