Naruto what the hell
Chapter 1: The Stupid ass council meeting
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Hellsing abriged or anything else. Because if I did I would have made Sasuke die a loooooonnnnngggg time ago.
It was a normal day in Konoha the third Hokage of the hidden leaf village was having a meeting with the Stupid as- I mean Council of konoha and the where arguing weather to kill off Naruto or make him into a weapon to say the least The third was really starting to get pissed he was sick of Naruto always being the topic of the Council meetings everyday he would go to a meeting for something that he didn't want to talk about and he didn't like it oh no he didn't.
"please kami-sama get me out of this mess" he said as he placed his fingers onto the bridge of his nose.
Meanwhile At the entrance of Konoha
" And halfway through blowing me the fucking hooker OD's on solder pills" One man says while walking with his partner(an: not gay)
"You know I really don't like discussing my ex-girlfriend with you" Said a tall blue man with fish like gills says to his at partner
"I mean I still finished but what kind of shit is that?" Says the slightly shorter person next the blue man he had black hair and red eyes
"Come on Itachi think of Konan" Says the blue man now with a sad face
" … I ain't jerking off right now" Says Itachi watching as his partners face pale
" Hey the village is currently closed" Says a guard at the gate. Both men stop and look at each other.
"Awe man I and I was hoping I can take my partner here through a field trip through the village" Says Itachi as he look at the man with a sad face
"Oh really where from?" ask the guard as he stares at the tall blue man
"Akatsuki" Says itachi as he buns the man with the Astumaru.
Daydream end
"Itachi! HEY ITACHI WAKE UP YOU DUMB BITCH!" the blue man says as he slaps itachi across the face.
"Kisame if you hit me again I promise I will make your ass into a fish stick." Said Itachi as he look at his partner with an evil glare and what made the glare even worse was the fact that he can use tysumi at anytime.
"Oh shut up." Said Kisame as he set out again down the wall to the nearest tea shop
With our hero the orange blond haired idi- I mean Naruto.
"read the fucking scroll!" yelled a blond haired kid as he glared at a one Sasuke Uchiha.
"Dear Itachi" Sasuke said crying like a little bit- I mean uchiha he is.
"READ IT FUCKING RIGHT! COCK HOLE!" yelled Naruto as he put the sword he had gotten out of nowhere to the uchihas neck.
"DEAR ASS TARD!" yelled Sasuke as he started to ball his eyes out.
"Good now keep reading" Said Naruto now sissified with the effect the sword to his neck had on him.
"I Sasuke Uchiha have final given up on trying to get revenge I hope you are happy with yourself because when I see you I will give you the best damn blow job in the world. As you can tell by now I find myself being strangely erotic because my blond of a doche part-" Sasuke didn't finish his senctice as Naruto yelled
"Say it right or ill stabe the other testicle!"Yelled Naruto as he put the sword to his balls
"My awesome teammate made me see the llight so preper your gay little emo ass for his huge Blond pubic haird dick because its going to straight up your ass" Saskue said as he finished his head was cut straight off blood gushing everywhere
"ahahahahhahah oh man you should have seen his face ay yo that shit was priceless!" he said to sakura as she fell victum to laughter.
After a minute or two naruto gets a match and lights the body on fire but not before taking Sauske sharingan thinks to Kurama or the Nine tailed fox if you wanna be a dick about it he learnd how to take people eye power and that's how he got both the Rennigan and the Sharingan it was getting better. After all the mess and the body was cleaned up he turned to Sakura.
"Hey bitch get over here" Naruto said as he he waved Sakura over to him
Like the little bith- I mean kinoichi she is she follows instructins and walks over to him only to be cut down the middle of her body with a Rashurikin
"That's for years of hitting me and telling me im a idiot you dumb bitch" he yelled oh yeah today was the day Naruto was going to get his Revenge .
Hello :3 this is the Leaf village end or bashing fanfiction for you guys who enjoy of destroying the little Bastered and the bitch Bannshee :3 flamers flame cause haters gonna hate ;3
Bye now ;3