She woke up. That's when she noticed the ears. They were pink and pierced with over nine thousand models of Evas which were rapidly evolving into banana-man, Ray Comfort, who liked tulips. "AAAHHH!" She screamed.
"Why is Ray stuck in my soft, yielding flesh?" said Kirk Cameron. "I have no...-womb!" screamed Kirk- "So Ray can't bear Shinji's babies or give his mutant ninja fundementalists bananas, for God!"
"Of course, I couldn't begin to guess why a crocoduck could evolve in this desert, or why a blimp would land on Albus Dumbledore!", she said triumphantly.
"But the ninja... didn't want to eat a bagel!", objected Ray, while Asuka tried to find Richard Dawkins in a list of ear-stud removers and failed miserably. She decided instead, that the pregnancy became a kidney due to it's failing Godwins Law, JUST LIKE HITLER.
"Hitler wore pants, so I wear womens underwear instead", said Kirk. Ray got aroused and ripped Kirk's trousers to ribbons.
"I'm heterosexual, Ray."
Asuka, deeply traumatised, decided destroying Tokyo would be silly. The WORLD, now... ... might erase the blue finned seagull that had landed.
"However, your mum is my sister, which makes the incest thing... relative.", said Albert Einstein. Einstein left, disturbed by the video of Dudley Dursley and one cup. It played unheeded on Asuka's computer. She whimpered as Ray writhed in pain because of Asuka's sporadic twitching but Ray freed one hand from the shibari ropes with the seagull's loud honking noise encouraging the struggle.
The video recorder sparked and melted because it was damaged by Ray's inability to find the key to the locked footcuffs surrounded by twenty heavily armoured catgirls. He burst free from Asuka's ear showering earwax over the dressing table.
"Kirk! Our love is like a rotting dolphin corpse!" The melon, however cried, because it was doomed to explode at the first mention of "Kamikaze Watermelon", lacking Ray's Zeeky knowledge of what would happen if Kirk's enormous blimp was rented out to a gigolo called "Zeeky Boogy Doog".
At these words a nuclear explosion from Mars occurred. Ray, Kirk and over nine thousand other people died. Asuka and the seagull looked around, and decided that it was better if we all held cheese conventions and went to the Moon for Prague.
The End.