A/N Hi! This is my first fic so I'm sorry if I've done something badly or wrong coz Idk what I'm doing really. I wrote this over the last few days because I was bored but I ended up really liking it so here it is I guess. It is kinda dark coz I'm a little strange like that. Obviously, this is a friends fanfic, since I'm obsessed with the show at the moment hehe. It deals with topics like eating disorders so if you don't like this kind of stuff or it triggers you then don't read it. I really hope if anybody reads this that you like it and please review! I really want to know if anyone likes it or what I can do to improve my writing. Also, I don't usually write in this style but I'm still really proud. I hope you like it.
Chapter 1
His skin crawled as he laid curled up on his bed, his mind replaying his whole day. He cringed at the mistakes he made and groaned at the things he could have done, but one moment of the day caught his attention most. This one moment made him want to disappear. It made him want to crawl into his own skin or sink into the ground. He wanted to claw his skin away until he was somebody else. He wanted to be somebody else.
How had he been so blind? How didn't he see it? How did everyone he know see it but he didn't? How did he miss it? With an exasperated sigh, he dragged a hand down his face and rubbed his neck. Was it all true? He wasn't sure. Well, if the people he saw everyday and trusted his life with thought it was true, then it was true. It had to be.
The scene replayed again and again in his mind. He was in Monica's apartment, complaining about being single and being unable to find dates. He was caught off guard when Phoebe said something about not being able to if she put on weight either. Had she just said he put on weight? He looked for the other guys, to tell him she was wrong. She had to be wrong. Didn't she? They avoided the question and came up with lame excuses. So it was true. She was right. They thought he was fat. They thought he was disgusting; Revolting and gross.
He thought about the others. The girls were stunning, with their small, skinny builds and pretty faces. Rachel with her perfect figure and carefully made-up face; Phoebe with her perfectly structured face and eye-catching beauty; and Monica with her gorgeous raven hair and icy blue eyes. He thought of joey, who had a pretty face. Everyone knew that. That was why he always came home with a girl. And Ross, who people thought was the cute, smart guy. Chandler had nothing. He had no girls climbing over each other to be with him, or people commenting on how good he looks. He was nothing.
His mind drifted off into unconsciousness. His dreams were filled with mocking friends and people pointing. He was ugly, he was fat. He was nothing. Over and over these words began to haunt his mind, attacking him when least expected. They twisted his brain and he saw himself differently. He saw what everyone else saw. He was ugly, he was fat. He was nothing.