John went to one of those hourly hotels across town from the place where he had put the boys. He had gone out and found a hooker. She was a tiny little thing with short blonde hair. She looked a lot like Mary had when they first meet. Of course they didn't look exactly the same, but she was close enough for what he had in mind.
John sat on the bed, waiting for the woman to get but of the shower. He started to feel ashamed of what he was about to do, and almost walked out. He pulled out his wallet, and looked at the photos there. He pulled out a twenty, and was about to leave it on the nightstand when he heard the water in the bathroom turn off.
He tried to stuff his wallet away, as she exited the bathroom in nothing but a towel and the Peony perfume he had given her. He just stared as he was struck by her beauty. She came right up to him, and put her hand on his chest. He leaned down and kissed her, but then pulled back as he remembered his shame from earlier.
Laura, the prostitute, was no fool. She had been in the business for a while, and she was pretty good at reading people. Every now and again you get these customers who pull back and look embarrassed or ashamed. Just last week she had an older gentleman call her by his wife's name when he had finished. He had apologized after, and felt all embarrassed, and she had shrugged it off, saying that it wasn't new. This guy didn't have as many grey hairs, but she could definitly tell that he was kind of up in years. It was probably his wife too, that he came here to remember.
"Its okay, John. A man has needs, and sometimes a memory is not enough," she said, looking in his big brown eyes.
He looked away as he spoke to her surprised that she was so insightive, "I know, but its not right. Maybe I should just go back home."
"Listen, how about you stay with me here, for a little while. We don't even have to come here and do what you originally brought me here to do. If at the end of an hour, all we do is talk, then you just leave me here with a twenty and run back home to your empty bed. Sound like a deal?"
John is looking at her again, and nodding his head. Laura pulls the coverlet off the bed, and climbs on top of the sheets. Her ass is sticking out in John's direction as she crawls to the far end. She figures that she might as well let him enjoy the sneak peek. He's emotionally distraught, not impetent. He kicks off his boots and sits down when she pats the bed next to her. He lies back, and she cuddles up to his side.
"You do smell nice," he rumbles after a few seconds of silence.
"Yes I do," she concedes, "can I keep the bottle?"
"I don't see why not."
They lay in silence again. Laura knows that their not going to get to the nitty gritty unless she gets him to talk about what's troubling him. Twenty bucks wasn't really worth her time, and at the same time, she wouldn't mind helping this man. He was really handsome, and probably big in the pants, if his height and deep voice was any indication, which it usually was. She could tell that he probably actually had a very kind heart in there. He was going to make someone happy, one day, if he ever got over being widowed.
"How did she die?"
"My wife?"
'Of course I mean your wife, doudo' she affectionatly thought at the man. Instead she just "Mm-hmm"-ed in agreement.
"A fire."
"I'm so sorry."
They both lapsed into silence for a little while. Laura pulled her head off his shoulder, and lay on the pillow next to him.
"John, look at me."
He turned towards her and looked her in the eye. His arm came across her body, so that they still touched. Good, he probably won't be too hard to convince. She placed her hand gently along his jaw line, before she spoke.
"I know that your still hurting, but there's no shame in wanting a woman's touch. There's only so much that family can do to comfort a man who lost his wife. Let me comfort you, John. And if you call out your wife's name during, than that's alright. I won't take offense, and there's no shame in it. There's no shame in missing your wife."
He closes his eyes and she sees his jaw muscles clench up, as he struggles with his pain. She runs her hand along his jaw, and says in a gentle voice, "Let me comfort you, John."
When his eyes open again, there's tears there, but he blinks a few times, and they're gone. "Okay," he agrees.
When John kisses her, she melts a little. John is the type of guy a woman like her dreams about. Not everyone is melt-worthy. There's fat ones, odd looking guys, nerds, virgins on occasion, plenty of old ones, and tons of uglies. John wasn't old, he was seasoned to perfection. Fit too, which was kind of amazing because a lot of guys let themselves go in their thirties.
A calloused hand is slipped under the towel, as he gently strokes her side. The towel slips, and she moves a little closer as the cool air brushes against her damp skin. His hands wander down to her thighs, and then around her ass. She feels his finger lightly brush against the lips of her pussy, and it makes her wet.
She pulls back after a little bit, and pants "Take off your shirt at least."
When John removed his shirt, Laura wasn't disappointed by what was underneath. Some of her friends preferred shaved chests, but she didn't mind them hairy at all. In fact, she found his body to be down right sexy. She trailed her fingernails down his furred chest, and when she reached his nipples, he hissed, and then began to devour her lips like he hadn't done before. By the time she got down to his belt buckle, John was consumed by lust. He turned his bedmate onto her back, and rolled on top of her, careful not to squish her.
Soon, he was fumbling with his buckle, eager to get out of his jeans and eager to feel smooth skin under him, again. Condom in hand he threw the jeans across the room, quickly followed by his underwear. When John first entered Laura, she gasped. He had slid right in, but he worried that maybe he had hurt her after all.
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I was just kind of taken by surprise that my suspicions were right. You are big."
"I'll take that as a big complement, expecially from a woman such as you."
She brought his head down so that she could kiss him, as he moved slowly inside her. Eventually, as she got use to the size of John, she encouraged him to move a little faster. She couldn't help herself. She fully enjoyed the ride, as she wispered out his name. He moaned, and groaned, but never said a word. He sucked on her neck and collar bone, devoured her lips, and enjoyed eating her breasts.
John remembered when he had suckled Mary while she was still breast feeding Dean, and how delicious that squirt of milk had been. It had been a weird turn on for him, and as he sucked on this woman's tits, he finally moaned out his wife's name. His face came up to be alongside hers, as he closed his eyes, trying to ignore the fact he wasn't actually making love to his wife. He smelled the peony perfume, and rocked his hips forward in a steady rythm.
"You can use me roughly if you'd like, John. You can even call out her name. I won't mind," Laura whispered.
John looked her in the eye while he shoved his full length roughly inside her. She hissed in pain but when she looked back up at him, it was as if she were daring him to do it again. So he did. He used her roughly, and she looked up at him as if she wanted more. Even though she made sounds of pain, she never asked him to stop, and never stopped looking up at him with lust in her eyes.
He tried to slow down, as he felt the end come near. He didn't want to stop, because he knew that when he finished, he would feel dirty. He started kissing the hooker's neck as a distraction, so that he could cool down his need, so that he could last a little while longer. Soon enough he felt her muscle clench in her already tight vagina, and that spelled the beginning of the end for him.
"Oh Mary," he groaned in the girl's ear, as he finally came.
Afterwards, the two of them washed up in the shower, and then Laura insisted that they sit and chat for a little while. "So what was Mary like?"
Her first question made him uncomfortable, but he answered it anyway. He smiled at the memory of his wife, and Laura couldn't help but smile back, his dimples making his smiles infectious. "She always spoke her mind, even if you didn't like what she had to say. Especially if you didn't like what she had to say! I don't think she could've wooped me in a fight, but it would be a close call. She was strong, she kept me together, she called me out on my shit, and she was a good mother to our boys."
"Nurturing yet strong, and a smart mouth to boot, huh?"
"Yeah."
"Do you think that you deserved her love?"
"Not at the end," he confessed, "We had some problems at the end. Some of it was financial, but most of it was me. I don't really remember what half our fights were about. Probably my drinking. I had a quick temper. I ended up cheating on her one night. I've kind of had a drinking problem ever since I got back from vietnam, its how a lot of guys cope with that shit..."
"Let me guess, you meet a girl at the bar, she was treating you real special. You wanted something uncomplicated, and fun. You were drunk enough that you weren't thinking straight, and before you knew it, you were at a motel, or at her place. You had a slightly guilty feeling but you just went with it."
"Your good, little miss, brilliant beyond your years."
"Yeah, well I never said I wasn't smart. I watch people. Married guys come to us girls every now and again, looking for an uncomplicated fun time. Anyway, you need to get over this stuff. A lot of married people cheat. Men, women, whatever. Doesn't mean that you didn't love your wife, it just means that your a human being. None of us are perfect. We are all flawed. You probably would have been able to work it out eventually. I think that she truly loved you, to instill such loyalty and heartbreak in you after her death. You need to first forgive yourself for cheating on her, and then you need to come to the realization that she's gone, which means that you can move on. Its not being disloyal to her memory, I promise."
John was full and thoroughly shocked, that a hooker could give out such great life advice. What had gone so wrong in this girl's life that she ended up on the street? She should be getting her Ph.D. in psychology or something! Then her words soaked into his brain, and the thought of forgiving himself hit hard, and it hurt. He didn't deserve forgivness. God had given him a wonderful woman to love, and he hadn't taken care of her the way that he should have. He pinched his nose at the top of the bridge and closed his eyes, so that he could keep the tears at bay. He couldn't help the one sniffle.
"I know your not ready to forgive yourself right now, but promise me you'll try," Laura said, rubbing John's back, and kissing him on his wiskery cheek.
"Promise," John said, "and now that we've talked about my personal life, I hope you don't mind me asking..."
"Why am I on the streets," Laura asked, easily interpreting his curiousity, "Well, us girls all have our sad stories. Its not that big a deal to me now, but my step father started visiting me at night when I was fifteen. I ran away when I was sixteen. The only way to make money as a runaway is to be a whore, so, here I am. I can't live above the negative impacts in my life, which is why I made you promise that you would try to forgive yourself."
When John left Laura back on her corner, he gave her an extra hundred plus her normal fee and a card with a phone number on it. He made Laura promise that she would call the number when she was ready to get off the street. Then he went back "home" to his boys. He changed into clean sleep wear, and told Dean to move over on the bed, so that he could lay down on the edge. He held Dean against his chest, and brushed his fingers through little Sammy's hair.
"I love you boys so much," John said, tears coming to his eyes as he remembered the mother who gave birth to these two beautiful kids before him.
"Love you too, Dad," Dean mumbled, half asleep.