In honor of John Paul.
No…this is not a "Friends" fiction. That much should be obvious by now. But it is for all of those who suffer through works of fiction that diminish your IQ. He's moved onto Star Wars too. We feel your pain.
This story goes out to John-Paul. Yes, the famous, "no known plot, no perceptible writing skills, and extremely odd" John-Paul. The author who obviously doesn't read his reviews, and/or needs serious help.
I understand I'll probably be kicked off for this, but hey…it's worth it….hehehe…
(I don't actually know the names of the other writers who dislike John- paul's work…so I'm just making them up.)
~*~
There were about twenty writers gathered around a conference table, in an emergency meeting of the SJPF; also known as the "Stop John-Paul foundation".
The fan fiction writers, all engaged in their conversations about how appalling and unpleasant a writer john-paul was, couldn't hear Raven, who was trying to bring the meeting to order, until she yelled at the top of her lungs.
"HE MUST BE STOPPED!!!" Raven shouted, pounding her fist on the table.
"We've tried," Chriss said, once the noise had died down "But if he doesn't read his reviews, he'll never learn anything!!!"
"I'm pretty sure he reads his reviews, he just doesn't care," Tina added, propping her legs up on the table, "Or he's going really far out of his way to get some laughs,"
"John just needs help." Jannie said, "Maybe if he got a beta reader…"
"We want him to get a beta reader, yes, but he doesn't listen to us!" Cait said, "Oh, bloody hell, *I'd* be willing to help him!"
"Either way, he's going to drive us insane before it's all over," Oz added, "That's probably his whole plan,"
"Well, Raven, how would you plan on stopping him from writing?" asked Ardian, tired of the chitter-chatter.
"I don't know…" Raven sighed shaking her head. After a few moment of silence, she added sarcastically, "Maybe if we show up at his house with pitchforks and torches, acting like enraged townsfolk, he'll listen to reason,"
Everyone was silent for a few moments, exchanging glances.
"Sounds good to me," Skye said with a shrug.
Cheers erupted around the hall, and everyone went to grab their "irate townsfolk" gear.
"But wait…" said Samuel, "We don't know where he lives,"
All the authors froze in place, with their gear in hand, and a groan of disappointment going around the room.
"Wait!" Melanie shouted (who for the sake of this story, just appeared out of thin air), "I know where he lives!"
"YAHHHH!"
The writers broke into cheers again, giddy with the thought that they wouldn't have to be tormented with any more of John-paul's awful stories if all went as planned.
Everyone jumped up and followed Melanie out the door, waving their pitchforks and cheering.
~*~
So? Do you hate it? Hate me? Want more? This isn't my usual writing style, I usually write much more in a chapter, and I usually try to get character voices down, but I don't want to waste much more of my life on John-paul, but I just had to write this…, for the sake of my sanity. (Which yes, is long gone…but I wish to at least keep the delusion of it.)
For all of you who don't know of John-Paul's work, and think this is a cruel and malicious story to write…read some of his work. If you still think this is cruel…well…everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion. This is mine.
Just review, and I'll decide whether or not to go on. I'm just stumped on whether John-paul should be a lazy, unemployed 30-year old living with his parents, or a high school student in need of much help. Maybe a kindergartener…hey…that would fit with his writing style.
'Till later …
No…this is not a "Friends" fiction. That much should be obvious by now. But it is for all of those who suffer through works of fiction that diminish your IQ. He's moved onto Star Wars too. We feel your pain.
This story goes out to John-Paul. Yes, the famous, "no known plot, no perceptible writing skills, and extremely odd" John-Paul. The author who obviously doesn't read his reviews, and/or needs serious help.
I understand I'll probably be kicked off for this, but hey…it's worth it….hehehe…
(I don't actually know the names of the other writers who dislike John- paul's work…so I'm just making them up.)
~*~
There were about twenty writers gathered around a conference table, in an emergency meeting of the SJPF; also known as the "Stop John-Paul foundation".
The fan fiction writers, all engaged in their conversations about how appalling and unpleasant a writer john-paul was, couldn't hear Raven, who was trying to bring the meeting to order, until she yelled at the top of her lungs.
"HE MUST BE STOPPED!!!" Raven shouted, pounding her fist on the table.
"We've tried," Chriss said, once the noise had died down "But if he doesn't read his reviews, he'll never learn anything!!!"
"I'm pretty sure he reads his reviews, he just doesn't care," Tina added, propping her legs up on the table, "Or he's going really far out of his way to get some laughs,"
"John just needs help." Jannie said, "Maybe if he got a beta reader…"
"We want him to get a beta reader, yes, but he doesn't listen to us!" Cait said, "Oh, bloody hell, *I'd* be willing to help him!"
"Either way, he's going to drive us insane before it's all over," Oz added, "That's probably his whole plan,"
"Well, Raven, how would you plan on stopping him from writing?" asked Ardian, tired of the chitter-chatter.
"I don't know…" Raven sighed shaking her head. After a few moment of silence, she added sarcastically, "Maybe if we show up at his house with pitchforks and torches, acting like enraged townsfolk, he'll listen to reason,"
Everyone was silent for a few moments, exchanging glances.
"Sounds good to me," Skye said with a shrug.
Cheers erupted around the hall, and everyone went to grab their "irate townsfolk" gear.
"But wait…" said Samuel, "We don't know where he lives,"
All the authors froze in place, with their gear in hand, and a groan of disappointment going around the room.
"Wait!" Melanie shouted (who for the sake of this story, just appeared out of thin air), "I know where he lives!"
"YAHHHH!"
The writers broke into cheers again, giddy with the thought that they wouldn't have to be tormented with any more of John-paul's awful stories if all went as planned.
Everyone jumped up and followed Melanie out the door, waving their pitchforks and cheering.
~*~
So? Do you hate it? Hate me? Want more? This isn't my usual writing style, I usually write much more in a chapter, and I usually try to get character voices down, but I don't want to waste much more of my life on John-paul, but I just had to write this…, for the sake of my sanity. (Which yes, is long gone…but I wish to at least keep the delusion of it.)
For all of you who don't know of John-Paul's work, and think this is a cruel and malicious story to write…read some of his work. If you still think this is cruel…well…everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion. This is mine.
Just review, and I'll decide whether or not to go on. I'm just stumped on whether John-paul should be a lazy, unemployed 30-year old living with his parents, or a high school student in need of much help. Maybe a kindergartener…hey…that would fit with his writing style.
'Till later …