Rachel never knew.
Quinn found it the summer before their senior year. Well, rather, Rachel had found it. They had taken a day trip to Cleveland. Just to get out of Lima for a bit, to feel what it would be like when they would finally be in New York, away from their past and looking only at their future.
They had gone into an antique store, and Rachel saw this beautiful silver ring. It was a simple band, with threads of silver criss crossing over each other all the way around, forming X's where they met. Rachel loved it. Simple, yet elegant. Unique. An antique, with no doubt a rich history behind it. The way Rachel stared at it, Quinn wished she had the $300 to buy it and be rewarded with kisses and sexy times for months to come. But, being a poor high school student with no job, Quinn promised herself that she'd buy it when she had the money…and would be ready to promise the promises that a ring like that held.
—
Senior year went perfectly. The New Directions killed at Sectionals and Regionals. Rachel and Quinn openly held hands at school, their fellow students having already adjusted to seeing Blaine and Kurt and Santana and Brittany running around school - they were just another couple. Rachel was a bit upset that their grand revelation didn't get the impact she had secretly wanted — hell, even Finn had wished them good luck followed by a giant bear hug — but Quinn was relieved that everything was working themselves out. All in all, senior year was turning out to be drama-free. That was, at least, until spring came rolling around with college admissions.
The seniors of Glee knew not to expect that they'd all end up in the same schools or even same states. Mike and Tina were off to UCLA for their dance and theatre programs. Mercedes would be joining them too in California at USC. Brittany, after a few of her dancing videos going viral on YouTube, was moving to Florida to join a dance troupe. Santana had opted to go to a university in Miami to study pre-law, and to be less than 30 minutes away from Brittany at any given moment. Finn didn't join the military outright, instead opting to attend a military college in Pennsylvania. Puck, not wanting his guns to go to waste and actually wanting to hold a gun, enrolled in Lima's Police Academy, hoping that he would be able to move to New York in the future to be near Beth. Kurt and Rachel had gotten into NYADA, of course, and immediately began planning how they would decorate their new apartment. Everyone had figured out where they were going. Well, except Quinn.
The day Quinn's acceptance letter to NYU came in, Rachel broke down into a fit of excited screams and bone-crushing hugs and kisses. She was ecstatic. Not only was her best friend going to be with her in New York, so was her girlfriend. Quinn was happy, too. Her future never looked brighter.
That is, until her acceptance letter to Yale came in. And Harvard. And Brown. The west coast had been kind to her as well, with Stanford and UCLA offering her very generous packages. Quinn had always been a straight-A student, after all, with an impressive resume including award-winning runs with the Cheerios and the New Directions. That and a compelling personal statement that talked about her teenage pregnancy, getting kicked out of her house and excelling despite the odds clinched her spot at a number of prestigious universities. And suddenly Quinn realized that she had a lot more doors open to her.
Quinn was torn. She and Rachel had always talked about a future in New York, but that was back when Quinn thought she had no real prospects for the future. Quinn thought she was a Lima loser, and even though Rachel pushed her to be better, in truth, Quinn never had high expectations. But now, Quinn was starting to realize what she could do…without Rachel.
So Quinn did the logical thing. She talked to Rachel. Quinn had started it off badly, of course, by saying that she wasn't sure about New York anymore. Rachel and her had gotten into a screaming contest as Rachel freaked out, Quinn became defensive, and hell broke loose. As tears fell, Quinn grabbed her stack of acceptance letters and literally threw them at Rachel, asking her what she was supposed to do. It was silent, except for the sound of heavy breathing, as Rachel looked at each and every letter, her eyes widening as she realized perhaps it was Quinn, and not her, that always had the best chance of getting out of Lima.
Rachel didn't say anything, as she calmly stood and walked out Quinn's door. Quinn didn't bother to chase after her. She just crumpled into a ball and cried.
—
Quinn had ultimately decided to go to Stanford. The financial aid package couldn't be beat. She had made the trip to visit it one weekend, and she fell in love. She sent in her intent to enroll while she was in Palo Alto.
She still hadn't talked to Rachel. Honestly, she didn't know what to say. She loved the girl, she really did. It hurt her to think of a life without Rachel, but at the same time, she couldn't help but think it was for the best. In reality, the two of them were about to live separate lives in very different places. Maybe it would be for the best?
Graduation day came, and Quinn had decided. She made the trip to Cleveland the previous night, and now held in her hand a ring filled with promises she was ready to give to Rachel. She had finally managed to corner her in the hallway after the ceremony. After one last number in the choir room with the rest of the seniors, after averting her gazes, Rachel had no choice but to talk to the blonde girl chasing her down the halls. A blond girl who was firmly grasping a ring in her pocket, away from view.
Rachel wasn't very receptive to Quinn's pleadings, her declarations of love, her promises that they could make it together. Quinn took a breathe and took Rachel's hands into her own, the other girl's eyes still cast down on the floor.
"Rachel…I love you. I'm sorry for everything, for hurting you, for walking away from you. But I love you. I love you so much, and I promise you that I will never hurt you again. We can have the future we always talked about. Please, if there's any part of you that still cares about me, that still loves me, then please…please."
Quinn's tears fell, her eyes desperately trying to meet Rachel's. She was slowly pulling out the ring out of her pocket.
"I…I just can't get over it. How much you hurt me. I can't."
Quinn stopped.
"Please…"
Rachel walked away. Quinn's hand went limp, the sound of the ring dropping to the floor echoing throughout the hallway.
—-
Months later…
Quinn hadn't been to Lima since she left for college. Back home for Christmas break, she felt nostalgic — feeling the air around her, the stores and shops that hadn't changed, and seeing the people she recognized, who seemed to have grown up so much while she was gone. Quinn had offered to go to the grocery store for her mom. She smiled as she pulled into the parking lot, smiling at the building that had the exact same decorations every year since she was born.
Then it just happened. Rachel was walking with Kurt and some people she didn't recognize out of the grocery store. Quinn figured they were NYADA folk, as evidenced by the sweatshirt one of them was wearing. Quinn thought about getting out and calling out to them, but as she started to call out she felt her heart thump…the bad kind of thump. The ache of a dull pain that always seemed to permeate through her. Quinn functioned alright in the months after graduation day, but she still felt that feeling no matter what she did. Just a silent reminder of what she had lost.
Quinn gripped the steering wheel as the group got into a car and drove off.
—-
At home, Quinn laid on her bed, full from another home cooked dinner. It was only 7 o'clock. There wasn't much to do that day. Santana and Brittany were spending the day with Santana's abuela. Mercedes had to go see relatives, but promised Quinn they'd go shopping tomorrow. Truthfully, Quinn was thankful for the day to herself, so she could think. She had thought about doing this for months, but tonight seemed appropriate after the events that occurred earlier.
Quinn reached into her nightstand and pulled out a ring box. She tucked it into her coat as she bounded down the stairs, promising her mom she'd be back soon.
Quinn didn't live far from the Berrys. She probably could have walked, but she needed the comfort of a quick getaway if anything went wrong. Before she knew it she was parked outside Rachel's house. The lights were on, and Quinn was sure Rachel and the Berry men were inside singing their hearts out as they got ready for dinner. Quinn pulled out the ring from the velvet box. It still looked as bright as ever, the silver criss crossing over each other. She remembered when they had first seen the ring, so long ago.
"Rachel, it's just a ring."
"It is NOT just a ring, Quinn. Look at how the lines meet. They cross, consistently and precisely. They might separate for a moment, get lost, go in completely different directions, but they come right back to each other as promised. And it never ends. You can't even tell where they begin. It's just a constant dance, but they always end up together."
Quinn sighed. It wasn't time. Her courage lost, she put the ring back and closed the box with a snap. The car rumbled to life as the box fell into the passenger seat.
Rachel never knew about the ring, the promises that Quinn was ready to give to her. She would never know of the things that Quinn had wanted to say, the feelings she never forgot, and, of course, the ring. The ring would always be Rachel's, and maybe one day — someday — Quinn would finally place it on the smaller girl's finger.
'Maybe one day…' Quinn thought as she turned the radio up, letting the music drown out her thoughts.
