AUTHOR NOTE:
This is my first fic. Please rate and review, all criticism is welcome. Hope you enjoy :)
10 Years Ago
We were in a rough time in our lives. I graduated, and was off to Louisville. You, however, were still back in Lima for your senior year. It was the worst decision I had ever made. To leave you that is. I wish I could've turned back time and changed what I did. You were my everything and to hurt that way was just, ridiculous. It's something I have regretted for oh so long. I came home often, but I knew it wasn't enough and we broke up. That feeling that went through me when we were at the meeting of "The Left Behind Club", and you told me you felt exactly like that puffy faced asian girl was horrible and I thought at the time that breaking up with you was the best thing for us, for YOU. But that made everything difficult. Classes started getting harder, and the two-a-day practices were taking a toll on me. When I finally had some free time to relax and have time to myself I got online to see what everyone was up to. And that's when I saw a picture of you and Sam. I cried. I cried for days on end, I missed practices and started doing really bad in my classes. I didn't know what to do. I knew it was bound to happen, who could resist you? And I told you it was okay if you dated other people. That's what happened. I was put in a place I never imagined myself being in. I was heartbroken.
8 Years Ago
I hadn't dated anyone for nearly two years. You and I sort of lost touch. You would call me occasionally, and we'd exchange the "How are you?' and "We should hang out sometime." But those times never came. I always had a little hope that I would be able to just sit at our booth in Breadstix, and you'd come walking in and see me there. Somehow, I thought if that happened? Everything would just, change back to how it was, and things would be normal. But it never happened that way. I thought about you so much. I'd stare at my phone, thinking about what I would say if you ever said, "I want you back." I had dreams of when we were still in high school. When we would steal glances in the choir room, how I melted every time you smiled at me. Watching you dance on stage was just, breath taking. How you would pull me into my arms and hug me so gently, yet filled with so much love. That's when I would wake up, and realize that all of it was gone. It was just one of the blissful memories living within me. Then one day, it happened. I was living in upstate New York, working in a local restaurant. It was a normal evening, the regulars had already come and gone and my shift was about to end. I was standing behind the counter, counting my tips and putting them in my purse when I heard, "Excuse me, I got lost driving to WalMart. Do you know what way I need to go?" I zipped up my purse, and turned around. And there you were. Soaking wet from the rain outside, eyes big and beautiful as ever. I stood there, not knowing what to say. I had thought of this day for a long time. What I'd say, how I'd say it. But here I stood, speechless. You looked at me in disbelief. "San? Its been so long!" You grabbed me and hugged me over the counter. "Why don't we have coffee or something?" I blurted out. We sat and talked for hours. The restaurant was closing so we walked outside. I was dreading this moment, I didn't want to leave you. We said our goodbyes, and I walked towards my car. As I went into my purse to get my keys, you grabbed my arm and pulled me in close to you. "I missed you so much." Trickled from your lips. I looked up at you and was about to reply when I was stopped. You kissed me. You kissed me and it made my heart skip a beat. I had never felt like that since we first started going out. It was the most wonderful feeling in the entire world. That was the kiss that started everything all over again. It was the new beginning to our lives together.
7 Years Ago
You proposed to me so unexpectedly. It was a beautiful day in the park, and we sat together on our favorite bench near the pond. You loved it because of all the ducks that always swam by. You took my hands, and told me that you needed to tell me something. The uneasiness in your voice made me nervous. But until this day, I remember what you told me, word for word.
"San, I need to tell you something. I'm not sure how you're going to take this, but I want you to promise me that you'll hear me out before you say anything. Santana, you are my everything. You're everything I have ever dreamt of and more. Never in a million years did I imagine being here with you. We're so madly in love it makes the unicorns in my tummy run around like maniacs. I know you must be wondering why I'm saying all these things to you. I love you, Santana. And I want you to know that I will love you from now until my last breath. You are the reason that I smile everyday. You are the sunshine in my life, the moon and the stars. There's just one thing I want to know. Will you, Santana Marie Lopez, do me the incredible honor of being my wife?"
I broke down in tears as you pulled out the diamond ring and knelt down on one knee. I shook my head yes, and you grabbed my hand and put the ring on. It was beautiful. I pulled you into a hug and whispered "I love you" in your ear. You pulled out of the hug and grabbed my face. You looked me in my eyes and told me "I love you too, baby. Proudly so."
6 Years Ago
By this time, we had our own house together. You were a very successful dancer, and I was on and off of Broadway. We had everything we could have ever dreamed of. Yet, I felt like I was missing something. You came home from work one day and grabbed me from behind and held me. I felt your lips kiss my cheek and I turned around and kissed you lips. The words that came from your mouth, was exactly what I knew I was missing. "I want us to have a child." We discussed it over and over again making sure that it was really what we wanted. We adopted Landon Michael Pierce-Lopez about a year and a half later. He was only 7 months old when we got to officially adopt him. The adoption was long and grueling and you didn't think it was ever going to happen. But we kept trying and it finally happened. You cried as you held him in your arms for the first time. I took a picture of you two, and I've had it in my wallet ever since. The two people who mean the most to me in the entire world, it was perfect. I felt complete.
5 Years Ago
Quinn was going through a hard time; she was going through a divorce with Puck and she ended up coming to live with us in New York. She helped us out a lot. With our schedules starting to get so hectic, she watched Landon while we were at work and performing. I'm not going to say I was happy that she was going through the divorce, but it was sort of a blessing in disguise. One day, you took Landon to the doctor because he was a bit under the weather. So you left, at 10:30 that morning. You texted me to let me know that you had just got out of doctors and that Landon just had a cold. That was the last time I heard from you. I got home from rehearsals around 4:30 that afternoon. Quinn said that you hadn't come home yet, and I started getting worried. Around 6 that evening I got a call from the hospital. They told me that you were going through an intersection when a car sideswiped you. Landon was fine, just a couple bumps and bruises. You on the other hand, you reached the hospital in critical condition but they stabilized you. I didn't know how to take in the news. I started sobbing uncontrollably. What happened next was a complete blur. Quinn got me into the car. I remember running through hallways and pushing doors open. I finally found your room and there you were. I felt so helpless. Your left leg was broken, and a couple ribs were fractured. Tears were falling from my eyes. You looked over at me, so broken and sad. I walked over to you and sat next to your bed. I held your hand and cried even more. You reassured me that everything was going to be okay. You always knew how to be the strong one even when everything was going so incredibly wrong. The medical insurance we had couldn't cover everything, and our car was totaled. I was panicking on the inside; I didn't know how we were going to make it through this. With your leg being broken, you weren't going to be able to go back to work for a while. Quinn walked in with Landon, and he came running over to me. He hugged me and asked if we could go get ice cream after mommy was done in the hospital. Landon always knew how to put a smile on my face. He had your traits that were a fact. He held himself the way I did, always confident with everything he did. The next day you were released from the hospital and I took you home. Landon colored a "Welcome Home" sign and you cried when you saw it. The bills came in a couple days later and we looked it over together. We had just enough money to pay for everything that month. That's when I brought up something that I had been thinking the day of the accident. I told you what I wanted to do, and what I thought needed to be done. You cried when I told you, but we both knew it was the best idea. I was joining the Army.
4 Years Ago
I had been in the Army about two and a half years. I was stationed in Fort Bragg, North Carolina. I excelled at my job, quickly getting promoted to Sergeant in less than two years. I graduated both Airborne and Air Assault, and was recognized for being at the top of my class for both. The Army just passed a regulation stating that same sex marriages were now recognized and we were able to get military housing on base. You and Landon were now fully covered medically and that was all I wanted. Quinn came with us of course; she found it hard to leave since she loved Landon so much. He was now four years old and growing up to be so handsome. Very intelligent too, I might add. I felt like I was missing so much, I always woke up early and came home late. We spent as much time together as we could. And even though it wasn't much, it was still something. After a couple months of being in our new house together, I was told I was getting deployed. You cried so much when I told you. And for the first time, I was the strong one. I held you close and reassured you that everything was going to be okay. I looked at you and told you..
"Baby it's going to be okay. Britt, look at me. You're strong. I'm going to be fine out there. You know me, I'll fuck up anyone that tries to mess with me. You have Landon and Quinn here at home and I'll write to you as much as I can. I promise."
You cried for a little while more, I kissed you and pulled you in closer. The day I left; you were the only one who came. We agreed that we didn't want Landon seeing me leave, and that it would be easier for him if he stayed at home with Quinn. I told them my goodbyes that morning. We were boarding the plane for Afghanistan in 15 minutes, and I kissed you bye for the last time. Right before I stepped onto the plane, I looked back at you one last time and blew you a kiss.
Deployment
It was a hectic time; our company came under fire so many times and I didn't know how we would survive at some points. We went on tons of convoys, and made a lot of enemy contact. We skyped whenever I had free time, and wrote letters when I didn't have Internet access. Landon's sixth birthday happened while I was gone and I sang him happy birthday over the computer. I sang to you all the time; it was the only thing that kept you calm. It got you through the tough days spent without me at home. What got me through the day was the thought of coming home to you and Landon. After a couple weeks of no correspondence whatsoever, I know you got really worried. Quinn told me. We were planning on surprising you. My deployment was being cut short, and it was the perfect idea. She came up with it, and was confident that it was going to work. She told me that there was going to be a career day at Landon's elementary school. So when it was your turn to go up, I watched you from the back. Beautiful as ever, of course. You got up on stage and explained how you were a professional dancer. You danced on tour with singers, and danced on Broadway while I sang. She explained how I was deployed and couldn't be here today. As you finished up your turn, I started walking up towards the stage. Quinn got one of Landon's friends to ask you if you missed me. You answered, "I miss her everyday, of course. I know she would've loved to be here with all of us today." I could see the tears falling from your eyes. He replied with, "But she is here. Look." He pointed to your left and you saw me standing there. You ran over to me and nearly tackled me to the floor. The entire room burst into applause. Landon came running up to me and hugged me. It was the greatest day ever.
1 Year Ago
Life was great. I was transferred to Fort Lewis, Washington where I was promoted to Sergeant First Class. I finally got to celebrate one of Landon's birthdays together. Eight years old. I didn't even know where the time went. Our relationship was stronger than ever. I was called for another deployment, and without any hesitation you told me to go. You were much stronger this time, and I knew I wouldn't have to worry about you as much. We talked daily, and did less convoys and didn't come under fire as much. I talked to you the night before our big convoy. Before all the convoys I had done in the past, I always confessed my love to you. You told me it was unnecessary but I knew anything could happen and I found it extremely necessary. I sang Songbird by Fleetwood Mac to you that night, and you cried. I promised you I was coming home, and that I was out here to keep you and Landon safe. Landon asked me if i was a superhero. I smiled and told him, of course I am. He asked me, "But where's your cape mom?" His curiosity of things reminded me so much of you, and I found it so adorable.
"Not all superheroes have capes, bud. Don't forget that." He smiled and told me he loved me, and I replied with the same and that I was going to be home soon.
I remember what I told you right before I got off.
"I love you, Britt. To the ends of the earth. Until my last breath. Always remember that you and Landon are my motivation to get up in the morning and make it through the day. Tell Quinn I miss her and that I'm eternally grateful for staying with you while I'm gone. I hope you have a good nights sleep alright baby? I'll talk to you tomorrow after the convoy. I love you so much. See you later." And I signed off.
We loaded up the humvees and moved out. The convoy that day was going to take over six hours. Being the NCO in charge, I was in the lead truck. We were about four hours into the convoy when my vehicle was hit by an IED. I was knocked unconscious for about thirty seconds. When I regained consciousness, our convoy was under heavy fire. I grabbed my weapon and jumped out of the burning humvee. I looked around and saw soldiers getting shot left and right. I took cover and started firing back. The shots stopped after about two minutes, and that's when I saw one of the other females motioning me to run over to where they were with the rest of the platoon. I ran and I was so close when I felt a sharp pain. I fell to the ground, and felt the warm liquid all over my stomach. The bullet made it in the area where I didn't have a plate in my vest. Another soldier ran over to me and tried to apply pressure to the wound but it wasn't working. I was so scared, my vision was getting faint and everything was fading. I went into my shoulder pocket and pulled out the picture of you and Landon the first day you held him. I cried, not knowing if I was going to ever see you two again. I grabbed the private who was desperately trying to help. "Tell Britt that I love her. If you don't I swear I'll come back and haunt your ass." He looked at me and chuckled. "I gotchu Sergeant don't worry. The medics will be here soon, you'll be fine." Everything was fading more now. The blood wasn't stopping. I pulled off my dogtags and handed it to him. "And you better give these to her too. With this." I handed him the dog tags and the blood stained picture. The last thing I heard was, "Sergeant Lopez you're going to be okay just hang in th…" And everything went black.
Present Day
It's been, a year since I was killed in combat. I'm so sorry I couldn't come home, Britt. I've been watching over you everyday since then. I've felt so helpless, just watching you cry yourself to sleep at night. Having to see you drape yourself over my coffin at the funeral and just, it's the most horrible feeling. I was there with you, even if you didn't know it. When they handed you the flag, you broke down in tears. It's so hard to not be able to grab you and hold you close to me. I watched while the private who tried to help me on the battlefield hugged you, and tell you how sorry he was. He went into his pocket and took out the dogtags and picture i told him to give you. "She told me to give you these, and to tell you that she loved you. She was a incredible soldier and person. I'm so sorry for your loss." Landon is growing up to be a very respectful, and handsome young boy. Today, you've come to visit me. You sat in front of my gravestone and started talking to me. You held the bloodstained picture, and had my dog tags around your neck. I stood behind you and watched.
"Oh San, why'd you have to leave me? I wasn't ready to lose you. Not yet… You were the love of my life. I didn't think kissing you on the runway would be the last time I would feel your lips on mine. Or, skyping with you would be the last time I would hear your beautiful voice.. I just.. I just want you back. It's not fair that you had to be taken from me so soon. We had such a beautiful life together and now, I'm forced to go on without you. Landon misses you everyday. He's the reason I'm still living. He goes around and tells everyone that his superhero is watching over him from heaven. Quinn still lives with us, and we moved back home to Lima. It's been hard. But it was the only way I could be closer to you. You are, the love of my life Santana. I hope you can hear me."
I teared up, and knelt down. I whispered, "I'm right here babe." I kiss your cheek and to my surprise, you smile.
"I can feel you here with me babe. Not just today, but everyday. I know you're watching over Landon and I. I know for a fact, that not all superheros have capes. I have mine protecting me everyday. My bestfriend, my wife, my soldier." Tears started falling from your big blue eyes. "My superhero. I love you San, proudly so."