Title: Dare or Dare

Rating: M

Pairings/Characters: AmeCan, Prussia

Warnings: Severe randomness, shenanigans, uncivilized telephone pranks, and smut. As in yaoi incest smut (but not until like chapter 3). You've been warned.

Chapter 1- The setup

"So wait... It doesn't, like, do anything to you?" Gilbert stared at Alfred, curiosity filling his eyes.

"Whaddaya mean, 'do anything'? S'just a curl..." Reaching his hand up, he tugged at Nantucket a few more times. Gilbert seemed absolutely fascinated by this, reaching up and tugging a few times himself. He just stared for a minute before a devilish grin filled his face.

"Well then, scratch that last dare. I have something for you."

Alfred and Gilbert had been friends for a while, but they'd never really spent much time together; that was more of Matthews's thing. That all changed, however, when Alfred woke up about a month ago, incredibly hung over, to a message on his answering machine,

"Just got your message, dude. And I gotta say... That's kinda messed up. Your brother? You have a thing for your brother? And you confessed it to me of all people? Talk about strange things to wake up to."

Since then, he and the Prussian had been talking much more, mostly because the last thing Alfred wanted was for people to find out about his long-time feelings for Matthew. They enjoyed each-others company, though, and Alfred figured it couldn't hurt his relationship with his brother to become friends with his best friend.

Tonight, they had decided on a game of dare or dare, a game of Gilberts own creation, in which you got to choose between dare or dare, and then you would have to perform said dare. The two, being the hyper-active, rather idiotic pair that they were, thought the idea to be absolutely brilliant (to hell with what eyebrows said, this was totally creative and original! And HEROIC!), and it often took up a majority of time during their random meet-ups.

After the usual fight over who would go first, ("I'm too AWESOME to NOT go first!" "But dude, heroes ALWAYS go first! It's like a rule!") it settled on a game of rock paper scissors.

"HA! DYNAMITE BEATS- What the hell is that?"

"Dude, it's a dinosaur! And it TOTALLY beats dynamite!"

"How?"

"It eats it!"

"But then it'll just blow up from the inside!"

"Not if it's got a lead lined stomach."

The former-nation slumped back against the armchair he was sitting in, folding his arms as his face twisted in thought.

"...Fine. You go first."

Alfred punched the air, grinning at his victory, "Okay, so, I dare you to... Call Ludwig and confess your love to him!"

Gilbert scoffed and rolled his eyes, "Really, man? Weeeak," He grabbed the phone from the table next to him, dialing in the number without even having to think about it. It wasn't like he hadn't been dared to prank-call his brother before, as a matter of fact he did it all the time, even when not dared to. Alfred chuckled deviously as Gilbert punched in the number, but didn't say anything. He was obviously planning something.

There was silence in the air as the phone rang. After the second ring, Alfred blurted out, "...While doing you best impression of Feliciano!"

Gilbert seemed to choke on his own tongue as the information simultaneously clicked with the picking up of the receiver on the other end.

"Ja? Hello?" Even Alfred, who was sitting across the room, could hear Ludwig's voice trough the phone. He was a pretty loud guy even when he wasn't angry.

There was silence for a moment as Gilbert seemed to collect himself. "...Hello? Is anyone there?"

"Y-yes... Ludwig? I wanted to... Um... Tell you something!"

Alfred pressed his hand tightly over his mouth, rolling on the floor and practically convulsing from holding in his laughter. Gilberts Italian accent was terrible, but funny enough, to Alfred's surprise, his overall impression was pretty good. He has the high, kinda squeaky voice down pat.

"...Feliciano? Is that you? You sound a little... Weird, I guess? Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm just, um... Nervous." Gilbert had to cover the bottom of the phone with his hand and turn his head away, breathing deeply to keep himself from bursting out laughing.

"Nervous? What do you—"

"I wanted to tell you that... I love you!" There was a shocked silence from Ludwig's end as Alfred began punching the floor, burying his face in the carpet to try to keep the laughter from spilling out. Gilbert once again held the phone away from him, doubling over the arm of the chair in silent laughter. He straightened himself up, steadied his breathing, and continued before Ludwig could respond,

"I want you to marry me! And you can wear the dress!" For a moment Gilbert thought he blew the whole thing, as just the mentioning of the word 'dress' made Alfred howl in laughter. He was able to stifle himself before he made any more noise though, and Ludwig was apparently too dumbfounded to think anything of it. "And... I want to make a pasta shaped like your anatomy!" He paused for a moment, pretending to think, "...That's a big pasta."

Ludwig made a strange squeaky noise and you could just hear his embarrassment. The noise pushed Gilbert over the edge though, so he made the best attempt he could to keep up the impression and not loose his cool while quickly ending the call, "Okaythat'sall BYEEEEEEE~" He threw down the receiver and the two immediately began roaring with laughter, Gilbert falling out of the chair and Alfred remarking about how he could no longer feel his lungs.

"OHMYGOD PASTA SHAPED LIKE YOUR ANATOMY DUDE THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD" Alfred spit out, gasping to breathe in between spurts of laughter.

Once the two calmed down (it took a good ten minutes), they wiped the tears from their eyes and steadied their breathing.

"Man, he's going to KILL me when he realizes that wasn't Feliciano!" The two just lied on the floor for a bit before Gilbert once again broke the silence, "Okay! I have a dare for you, now!" He grinned, sitting up and turning to Alfred, who sat up as well. Alfred braced for the worst. It was basically tradition to try one-upping each other in hilarity value of the prank outcome, and Al knew previous events were going to be hard to top.

"Alright... I want you to pull that thing!" The Prussian reached out his arm and indicated to the curl on top of Alfred's head. Alfred just stared at him blankly for a moment.

"...You mean Nantucket?"

"Yeah, whatever you call that thing. Pull it!" This was met with another long, strange look.

"Um... Okay?" Alfred reached up, grabbed the curl, and tugged.

Nothing.

"Wait... What?" Gilbert looked puzzled, crawling over and examining the strange cowlick closer.

"Uh, what are you doing?" The proximity of the Prussian was a bit unnerving. Gilbert looked at him for a moment, eyes narrowing.

"So wait... It doesn't, like, do anything to you?"

"Whaddya mean, 'do anything'? S'just a curl..."

Authors Notes: Ah... I don't know what the hell this is. Seriously. I don't. It's not even AmeCan, really, or... Anything sensible. Honestly, I started this story forever ago, then came back and absolutely HATED how I'd started it. So, I cut the whole beginning, started typing, and THIS happened.

Yeaaaaaaaaah. For the record, this is gonna be moderately short, like 3-4 chapters max. Smut's not gonna be for a little while.

Also, if you get the pasta shaped like your anatomy thing, I salute you xD