I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, or any of the characters from the show, and they all are copyright their respective owners. If I did own it, however, it would probably be some cheesy love story, so be glad I don't! .

chizuchan: This is my first real fan fiction! Yay! I hope you all enjoy!

The Fullmental Alchemist

"I can't believe it! I just can't believe it!" said the 15 year-old-dog-of-the-military-shorty Edward Elric

"I know, to think that we traveled so far to find the Philosopher's Stone and it turned out to be some guy selling red costume jewelry…" said a talking suit of armor by the name of Alphonse Elric.

"That is seriously the last time I am ever taking any leads from random guys in pickup-trucks…We traveled on a day long train ride on these un-cushioned seats. You think that they could afford to put some pillows on them the amount we ride."

A train attendant was walking towards the brothers.

"Are you Edward Elric?" the attendant asked, she had short dark brown hair with a couple of long pieces in the front, and she was wearing the blue uniform of those who work on the trains. She was a little bit shorter than Ed, well, probably as tall seeing as how Ed's elevator shoes make him gain two inches.

"Yeah, that's me." said Ed, "What do you need?"

"Well, some military guy wanted to leave a message for Edward Elric; he said to look for a blonde shorty…" she was interrupted by Ed's usual:

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE CAN'T DRING ORANGE JUICE THROUGH A STRAW BECAUSE HE WOULD FALL THROUGH IT AND DROWN!"

"…and a talking suit of armor. Here's the message." She continued not even paying attention to Edward.

"I'll take it." said Al, glancing over at his brother who had a black aura glowing around him.

Dear Edward and Alphonse,

I don't want you to come back to Central for a while. I hear that Scar is in the region again, and seeing as you are his main target, I do not think it wise that you come. Everyone here is very stressed, it wouldn't be too fun, I have to keep an eye on the Colonel twenty-four-seven, seeing as he keeps forgetting that his alchemy will not work in the rain. I suggest that you two hang out in the country for a while, maybe you will find some clues.

Sincerely,

Riza Hawkeye

Al finished reading and handed the note to his brother.

"That's weird. I wonder how the military found us. We never tell anyone where we are going, so how did this note reach get here?" said Edward, pocketing the note.

"Thanks." Alphonse said to the attendant.

"No problem, although my job would have been a lot easier if there wasn't an armor merchant with his 5 year old blonde toddler on board, yeah, you and the kid were about the same height..." replied the attendant.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

Again ignoring the outburst, she left the compartment with a smirk on her face.

"She was nice." said Al.

"Nah, attendant just act like that. If they were mean no one would wanna ride the trains."

"Are you mad about the 'blonde shorty' thing, because technically, she didn't say it she was just repeating what…"

"Oh shut up," exclaimed Ed, "I'm not that short any way, she was shorter than I was, she is one to talk…" Ed muttered.

o.o (A while later...)

Edward was snoring loudly as the train slowly came to a halt at a remote train station. Alphonse watched as the train workers and passengers got off to stretch their legs and get a bite to eat.

"Edward" Al whispered

"Mmmm…?" replied Ed still half-asleep.

"People are getting off, do you want to eat?"

"Sure."

Ed and Al got off the train and headed for a place that had a neon sign saying "FOOD".

"Food!" Yelled Ed, he was very hungry because all he had to eat was peanuts and gross fake butter pretzels that they handed out on the train. It was made even worse too because he was sitting next to the kitchen in the last car where they were preparing fancy first class food.

"Well, that is what the sign says," said the man at the counter, "I tried to make the name of my restaurant as obvious as possible."

Edward ordered a hamburger and some orange juice, the owner of the restaurant tried to give something to Alphonse too, but he refused.

"Oh come on, a big guy like you has gotta be hungry after train food!" the guy was really trying to make a buck.

"No thanks. I really am not hungry." Said Al. The man walked off with a sour expression.

While Ed was waiting for his food, the train attendant from before walked in. She sat down at a table at the far end of the restaurant, and started looking at her menu.

"We should go talk to her." Said Al

"No, she is probably used to eating by herself. Besides, the food is almost here."

"Well, I'm going to talk to her." And with that, Al got up and walked over to her table. Ed watched for a while, and then got his food.

"What, does he like her or something?" Ed thought while munching on his burger. He got more and more annoyed until he just got up and walked up to the table where Al and the girl were sitting.

"Hey, brother!" said Al

"Oh, look, it's Edward" said the attendant in a voice that made Ed even more angry.

"Adelaide, that's her name, was telling me how much she liked working on the trains. She says she…blah blah blah…"

Edward and Adelaide were locked into a staring match. That little smirk on the attendant's face, while Ed had his weird determined-that-I'm-going-to-beat-you-at-something look.

"…so isn't that great Ed? Edward? Are you even listening to me?"

Adelaide made a weird face that caused Edward to blink.

"Hah! I knew you would be bad at staring contests!" she exclaimed.

"WHAT! I only blinked because you looked like a dinosaur!"

"Is that an insult?"

"What if it is?"

Alphonse sighed, Ed just can't be friends with anyone can he?

There was a loud bang outside, Al, Ed, and Adelaide stood up, along with almost everyone in the restaurant, causing one of those really annoying sounds. They could see some people running towards the train station, shooting at some police. The police were shooting back, but since it was such a small town, the police never trained, they just ate stereotypical donuts.

"What would there be to steal in a hick town like this?" exclaimed Edward, several of the residents glared at him. The trio rushed outside, but were too late as the evil-doers boarded the train and chugged off. (plot twist .;) Edward was about to use some fancy alchemy, but the train was too far away by that point.

"Damn it!" Yelled Edward after the train.

"It's okay brother, we can just get the next train back, and those thieves looked like idiots, so the people left in the train should be safe."

"Noooo! There goes my job!", cried Adelaide, "What do I do now!"

"You can stay with us right?" said Al

"No she can't, we don't have enough money to take care of another person." Yelled Ed.

"Yeah right! You're a state alchemist! Besides, I'm the one who balances the checkbook, and you're filthy rich!" Alphonse exclaimed.

"It's okay Alphonse," Adelaide said, "I don't want to be a burden."

"No, really, it will be okay!" Alphonse said, "We have more than enough mon…brother? Brother, what's wrong?"

"…All of our money is on the train, except for the amount I brought for food, which I spent."

"WHAT! I can't believe this!" Al yelled

"I guess us broke people should stick together." Adelaide said happily. "All my worldly possessions were on that train!"

"Oh well, it could be worse…I guess…" said Al

"Hey, train attendant lady," said Edward, "your name is too long, it's getting on my nerves, (comment: Edo can't pronounce it D) don't you have a nickname or something?"

"Yeah, you can call me Heidi!" said the newly dubbed Heidi (comment: tired of typing out Adelaide…)

"Okay Heidi!" said Alphonse

Ed looked dejected…this is going to be bad…

NEXT TIME ON FULLMENTAL ALCHEMIST: Ed, Al, and Heidi discover bad news about the train schedule, which forces them to get a job, as dish washers at a bar! What will happen? Find out next time on Fullmental Edward runs up "I'm not mental! I'm perfectly sane!" director drags him off stage "Nuuuuuu!" Okay…Alchemist!