TITLE: Whatever's On Her Mind Chapter 1
PAIRINGS
Faberry (Quinn/Rachel)
RATING: T for now but may become M later on
A/N: Going for something a little angst here, not really too sure where this one will lead, just see how it goes. Featuring the scene that was cut from 'On My Way in the bridal shop, dialogue I made up though other than the one line, the crash never happens because, well you'll find out.
I'm now taking suggestions for fanfics on here and tumblr; see my profile for details, and to submit
SYNOPSIS: What could have happened if Quinn just told Rachel the truth in the bridal shop, if she just confessed her long denied feelings? How will Rachel react? How will they come back from the revelation?
Chapter 1
Quinn's POV:
I was lying in bed, it was late, I wasn't too sure the exact time, I hadn't looked at the clock for a while, my mother had gone away for a few days and I was left on my own. I couldn't sleep, the rain outside my window was terrible, it wasn't the only thing keeping me awake though, I couldn't believe I was so stupid, why after all this time did I tell her, why then? There? Why like that? I don't want to take it back but I sure wish I hadn't said it to begin with. I covered my head with my pillow battling with my body to just let me sleep; let me forget the whole day. It had only been a few hours but I already knew the next time I saw her face it would be torture, I couldn't cope seeing those brown eyes look at me the way they had today. It made me feel sick, made me want to cry, and made me want to die. How she can have that effect over me I have no idea. What is it about her that makes me like this, why?
Flashback -13 hours before
"Quinn what do think about this one?" Rachel asked spinning around from the mirror to show off the white, wedding dress she was trying on in the bridal shop. Her and Quinn were alone while the rest of the glee girls were off looking in the pet store across from the shop they were in, Quinn seemed to be the only one interested in actually helping Rachel pick out her dress plus the bridesmaids dresses, after seeing the cute puppy in the pet store window.
Quinn looked up from her hands and her mouth grew dry staring at the girl she felt so strongly for, standing there in the dress that fitted her perfectly, made her look like the elegant beautiful creature she truly was. Everything about her, from the way she smiled at the blond to the way her voice made Quinn's heart beat faster with a single breath, all was perfect about the girl, everything. This was meant to be the girls greatest moment in her life, she was getting married and she looked like a princess in a less cliché kind of way, but this scene was soured by the fact the brunette wore the dress not for Quinn but for Finn. He didn't deserve her; he never has and never will. He can't treat her like she could, he couldn't give her what she wants, he doesn't even support her dreams of stardom, Quinn would literally give her left arm to see Rachel's name up in lights, but she doesn't have to do that cause she knows that one day without fail that will happen.
"You look beautiful Rachel" Quinn complimented wetting her lips and blinking her wide eyes
"Really?" Rachel asked stroking down the dress looking back into the mirror observing herself
"It's perfect" Quinn nodded her affirmation
"Your too kind Quinn, you don't think it looks too long? It doesn't make me look fat? My bum doesn't look big in it does it?" Rachel frantically tried to see behind her desperate to prove the dress didn't have the pre-mentioned flaws
"Your perfect Rachel. I mean in the dress that is, it looks amazing" Quinn looked at the ground of the bridal shop slightly turning red at her slip of the tongue
"Well you look good too in yours" Rachel admired how the pink bridesmaids dress flattered the blond as she sat on the stool looking up at Rachel.
Quinn blushed a little more "Thanks Rachel, I guess I should thank you for not making us wear some horrible yellow one or something" Quinn smiled causing Rachel to giggle
"Well maybe you can wear pink and those other girls can wear yellow as they don't seem to be helping much" Rachel said sternly, not that she minded being alone with Quinn, seeing as the other girls would most likely only cause a disruption, though she supposed it couldn't be anything as bad as the scene from the actual movie Bridmaids, she shuddered at the thought
"So you think Finn will like it then?" Rachel smiled
Quinn's smile however immediately faded upon hearing the boy's name, knowing he was going to get to spend the rest of his life seeing Rachel in such beautiful situations like this, sharing his life with her as she shared hers with him, the thought made her grit other teeth "I'm sure he'll have to mailman over it Rach" Quinn forced another smile to grace her face.
"Ew Quinn" Rachel giggled "I'll think I'll get this one then, if you're sure?" she took one last look at herself in the mirror, breathing deeply and nodding at her reflection staring back at her, knowing in a few days, it would all be over and she would be Mrs Rachel Berry-Hudson, yeah she may love him but she won't be taking his name in favour of hers there's no doubt, she's a Berry through and through after all
"I'm sure, there's nothing better for you" Quinn locked eyes with Rachel though the mirror and the brunette gave a half smile at the gentle hazel eyes
"Thank you for helping Quinn, I really appreciated it, and you do truly look incredible" Rachel turned back around to face the blond.
"There's nowhere I'd rather be Rachel" Quinn quietly assured with honesty "Can I ask you something though Rach?"
Rachel looked curiously down at the other girl "Sure Quinn, anything"
"Are you sure about this ,like truly sure, I mean getting married it's pretty big thing, I just want you to be certain, you've got your whole life to live, you don't know what just around the corner" Quinn spoke with genuine consideration.
Rachel appreciated Quinn's concern and gave the blond a sweet smile "Of course I'm sure, I want to marry Finn"
"So you really love him then?" Quinn's jaw clench not sure if she really wanted to hear the answer
"I love him, I do" Rachel sounded as if she was trying to convince herself not Quinn
"How do you know though, I mean you don't have anything to compare it to?"
Rachel looked at her with slight confusion "How does anyone know when they've found love. It's like that person has a part of your heart, you look at them like their the only thing in the world, your whole body heats up when they touch you or talk to you, you feel like dying each time they look at you, every time your together you never want it to end, you'd do anything just to see them smile. That's how I know"
"And Finn does all that for you?"
"Finn is great, he's sweet and a good guy and I need him"
"But does he do all that for you Rachel?"
"Why are you asking me this Quinn, what is this all about?" Rachel's brow furrowed not sure where Quinn was leading with her interrogation
"I'm just asking, I don't want you to do something you'll regret" Quinn stared Rachel dead in the eyes trying desperately to show Rachel something, anything, to get her to just rethink her decision about this wedding.
"I won't, I won't regret marrying Finn, and I know we're young but that doesn't matter when you love someone"
"It does matter when he doesn't do all of those things you just said, to you" Quinn whispered looking down at the floor, but Rachel still heard.
"I knew it" Rachel said softly making Quinn look back up at the girl "Your still in love with him aren't you?" Rachel shook her head in disbelief "He chose me Quinn why can't you just accept that?"
"I have accepted that, I'm not in love with Finn, I never have been, not truly," Quinn desperately tried to defend herself at the accusation
"He's never gonna be with you in that way Quinn why can't you just let him go?" Rachel voice was rising now and the bridal shop workers begun to look over at the conflict.
Quinn's voice too becoming louder as she stood up from the stool "I don't want Finn, I don't care about him one bit, honestly he infuriates me"
"Then why are so intent on stopping me from marrying him" Rachel paced around slightly, becoming agitated
"Cause I'm not gonna stand around and watch you ruin your life by marrying Finn Hudson!" Quinn took a couple of steps closer to the smaller girl
"Why, please Quinn tell me, what's your problem if you don't love him huh? Come on Quinn inform me please cause I'm lost?" Rachel was now practically shouting her demands
Quinn's blood boiled, her heart raced, she didn't know what was taking over but she soon couldn't stop her mouth from moving "CAUSE I'm in LOVE with YOU!" Quinn clamped her mouth shut, completely surprising herself with her confession, Rachel's eyes shot open wide and her own mouth hung open in shock. Silence spread between the two girls and the staff of the shop watched on intently.
"What? What do you mean you're in love with me?" Rachel voice was shaky as she looked away from the blond not entirely sure if she even heard her correctly "No you're not your just saying that" her eyes darting back to the hazel ones that hadn't left her "Your lying"
Quinn's voice now soft and there was some hurt in there from Rachel's dismissal "I'm not lying, I'm in love with you, have been for so long, but I never told you or acted on it cause I know there's never gonna be anything between us, so what's the point of trying, but I can't cope with all this Rachel, you and…Finn" she practically hissed his name " it's too much for me, it's hurting me every day to see you two together, so happy, so in love while I'm there dying inside, it hurts too much Rachel, I can't watch you throw your whole life away for a guy who prays to grilled cheese sandwiches, I just can't" Quinn had clear tears in her eyes as she spoke, she could swear Rachel was on verge of crying too, her face completely blank as Quinn unloaded her years' worth of denial at her, Quinn's face on the other hand nothing less than pure heartbreak. "He doesn't love you like I do" barely a whisper now as Quinn's first tear escaped down her cheek.
"Quinn?" Rachel said softly and was about to go on when she was interrupted
"Hey guys what's going on?" Tina asked innocently, as she, Mercedes, Santana, Brittany and Sugar all entered the bridal shop, finally. Rachel broke her gaze with Quinn to look at the group of girls, all seemingly oblivious to what just went down.
Quinn didn't look away from Rachel "I have to go" she spoke as she picked up her stuff, and heading into the changing room to change back before she could leave without saying another word to the group or Rachel.
End of flashback- 13 hours later
I was beginning to get pretty frustrated now, the torrential rain was pissing me off all I wanted to do was get some sleep, I was tired but my eyes just wouldn't stay shut for more than 30 seconds, I had too much on my mind, too much named Rachel. Her face when I told her, her eyes, I wonder what she thought about it. I wonder if shell ever even talk to me again, look at me again. I toss and turn but nothing seems to work, nothing at all. I pull my pillow away from my face and stare at the clock I now see its 1 in the morning, my tears beg for release but I won't let them fall, my body aches for rest, and my mind seeks to forget, my heart whines for repair. But nothing works.
Its then I hear it, a strange noise, like a tapping or something like that, light at first but then slightly louder, it repeats several times, around ten seconds between each growing tap. Sitting up and switching my bedside lamp on I look around the room, there's nothing around, this is weird, and what the hell is it? It comes again but I see nothing. It should scare me but my body feels nothing, its numb right now and no feelings nor emotions other than pain and heartbreak beat through me.
The next time it happens I realize its coming from behind my drawn curtains, something tapping on the window. It can't be a tree there's none close to the glass. This is odd. I slowly crawl out from under my bed covers, walking towards the window in my plain grey T-shirt and light blue sleep shorts. When I reach the curtains I pull them back and catch sight of just how bad the weather actually is, its hammering down and it doesn't seem plausible. I don't see anything, it's completely dark outside, the street light on the sidewalk barely working, lighting up nothing but a small patch around itself. Then I hear something hit my window again and this time I see it too, it was small, I couldn't tell exactly what it was. I open my window and immediately get hit by a reasonably strong wind and the blowing rain. I look down into the yard and I see her. Rachel berry standing there, soaked from the weather. Throwing stones up at my window.
"What the hell Rachel?" I ask trying to keep my voice down as low as possible but its kinda hard when my room is so high up
"I need to talk to you" she says back and its then I realize that she's crying, her voice cracking mid-sentence.
"Its 1 in the morning!" I inform her, completely shocked she's even here
"Quinn please let me in" she begs and I can't leave her out there
"I'll be down in a second" I tell her and shut the window back up sliding my curtains back across and running downstairs to the front door. I undo the many locks my mother insisted on putting on the it, before finally opening it to Rachel. A broken Rachel by the looks of it, she's completely soaked and her hair is stuck to her forehead, she clothes baggy with water, but I can still see the tears, her eyes are slightly red, I don't really know what to say, why is she here? What does she want? Will this be the last time I ever see her, is that what she came to tell me?
"Rachel?" I say as she locks eyes with me.
A/N: So let me know what you guys think, review thoughts and opinions please, ill upload the next chapter tomorrow.