Title: Alert Levels
Spoilers: None unless you jump to the ending
Rating: G
Chapters: 1/1
Words: 905
Summary: Out! Everybody out!
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the series and am not making any money out of this despite putting my sweat and blood into it. So save me the lawsuits and just allow a beggar to indulge in fantasies. Thank you.
A/N: Just a silly little fic that came out from a stress-induced exam week. Warning for fluff :P Maybe. Unbeta'd so forgive the mistakes.
Blue Alert
"Sheldon, this is getting way out of hand."
"Raj, you know me to be a very smart man. Don't you think if I were getting out of hand, I'd know it?"
"But it's movie night! I brought DVDs and everything. And you've watched that documentary like a million times."
"Two hundred and fifty-six to be precise, but just so you know, this happens to be new." Sheldon broke his gaze from the television screen and showed the DVD cover. "It has extra features, commentary, behind the scenes and even interviews."
"Dude, you're taking the classes. Why waste time watching videos?" Raj continued with his protests and held up his own DVDs. "Now this is what's worth your time: the complete set of the live action Death Note movies. And it also has extra features."
"Not interested. If you wish to watch it, then go to Wolowitz's. I sent Leonard there with him for movie night. Now, out Raj."
"But Shel—"
"I said out!"
Yellow Alert
"Sheldon, this is getting way out of hand."
"No, Howard! You're the one who's getting out of hand," Sheldon shouted as he seized the frying pan from Howard's mitten-covered hands.
"Sheldon, I worked hard on that," Howard protested and tried to retrieve the pan, but Sheldon held it out of reach. "Give it back. I just wanted to be nice. I'm obligated to be nice. That dish happens to be rich in protein and—no!"
Howard could do nothing but watch as Sheldon dumped the contents of the pan into the sink. The oil sputtered and hissed when he ran the water, smoke rising up the ceiling.
"Dear God," Sheldon hissed and began fanning away the smoke in his hands. He looked like some cheerleader without pompoms…except weird because this was Sheldon, and his eyes were practically bugging out of their sockets. "Proteins be damned! You sautéed it with garlic. You know what the smell of garlic does to—"
A loud groan rang from somewhere in the apartment, and that's when Howard remembered. "Oh."
"That's all you can say? Oh?" Sheldon roared, this time, fanning the air with his jacket before running out to open the windows. Once done, he turned menacingly towards Howard and pointed at the door. "Out, Howard!"
"But Shel—"
"I said out!"
Orange Alert
"Sheldon, this is getting way out of hand."
"Leonard, I have an IQ immeasurable by today's standards. If I'm getting out of hand, I'll know."
Leonard groaned but still remained at the doorway. "Sheldon, there's no way in hell that I'm going to let you spray disinfectant on me just so I could come inside the apartment."
"I did it for myself. Why should you be any different? And another thing, I've already disinfected the entire apartment. To come in and introduce your pathogens will certainly not only mire the new environ I had constructed, it can pose health risks to—"
"Disinfectants are gonna cause the health risks here!"
"I beg to differ. This disinfectant happens to be a formula of mine, and it has been proven safe. In fact, it smells like fresh pine."
"Well, I'm still not going to let you spray it on me and have me smelling like a car."
"Then, out, Leonard."
"But Shel—"
"I said out!"
***
Penny glanced at the clock as Sheldon paced behind the couch. The entire apartment had been immaculate for some time now, and except for that recent cooking incident, it smelled as fresh as a mountainside. Or maybe a car, but she'd still like to think mountainside. It reminded her of home.
Then, it dawned on her. "Sheldon, could you—"
"Get you some milk? Water? Orange juice? Apple juice? Pineapple juice? Tea?"
Penny blew at the side of her mouth and looked up at Sheldon, already poised at her side. He'd been at her beck and call 24/7, and she'd barely been able to lift a finger. Not that she didn't like being treated like a queen, but this was getting way out of hand.
She patted at the space beside her. It was the middle cushion. She was sitting in Sheldon's spot. She'd grown used to it, and the funnier thing was, so had he. "Sit next to me."
"Oh, Penny, I can't sit down. What if you need anything? I would have to waste more time and effort to stand back up again and—"
"Sheldon, what I need right now, is for you to hug me."
"I can do that while still standing."
"Sit!"
He did so without another protest, and put his arms around her, though his embrace could barely be called as such.
She hugged him back. "Sheldon, I'm not a piece of glass, you know. Hug me tighter."
"But what if—"
"It'll make me feel better."
"Fine," Sheldon breathed, and he tightened his embrace. Penny smiled and rested her cheek against his shoulder. She could feel the pitter patter of his nervous heartbeats.
God, this wasn't going to be easy telling him. He'd probably have a heart attack.
She pulled back a little and kissed his nose. It made him smile a little, and she had to hold back the beginnings of her grimace.
With a deep breath, she looked him straight in the eye and said, "Sheldon, honey…I think my water just broke."
It took only three facial tics before Sheldon snapped.
RED ALERT!
A/N: The DVD documentary Sheldon was watching was for Lamaze class. As for the garlic, my mom said she hated the smell when she was pregnant with me and my twin bro (yeah you heard me; twin bro; ironic because I loooove the garlic. I even fry and eat it like a snack at times!). Sorry for the silliness, I don't know much about pregnancy, as I've never been pregnant haha! Hope you enjoyed this.