Harry and Me
-
I had breached the deep presuppose I had done all that I could do and for someone that had such a limited understanding it was with great pride that I allowed myself to smile. I never permitted myself to actually think that coming back in the middle of a war would mark immediate safety. It didn't matter that the realm in which I had lived happened to be during a time of post apocalyptic something or other even if there were no monsters here there was only the illusion of safety. She had told me once, when you crossed the Promised Land into the human plane you were rarely affected by what was occurring but in the years I had been here.
It was like escaping one horrible reality for another one and I was one of those who had taken a role in the 'war'.
Now I am locked away within the consciences of the boy who turned the wheels of fate, the calamity had fallen and had taken root within the very stream of life turning the current black, it may have been defeated in the time where I originally hailed from but in this life, this new place it had sprung free and was reborn and I was stuck inside the mind of simple yet strong willed child.
"This is not where I want to be right now."
I could see the dregs of life steam fading away as I took human form, whatever it is that you're thinking and no I am not Cetra...its all in your mind, if you imagine yourself the way you were before you died you can easily attain that form.
"But it is where you have found yourself and you are rather buoyantly happy about it."
"Get lost old man." I said. "And why are you here anyway? I thought this was essentially my 'turf' my own 'after' life or 'present' life or whatever the hell this is."
But he doesn't move instead he fixes me with a look he's given the boy a thousand times and it reminds me of that time where the boy was a kid and I had 'taken over' and pushed his cousin after watching from the sidelines at my host getting his knobby kneed weakling ass essentially kicked around. It was the first time I met the old man.
He'd been dressed up in a smart dove gray suit and his beard had been trimmed but his hair had still been long seemed to move in mock breeze in some sort of 'dramatic diva effect' that had made me sick. He looked entirely too pompous and far too self confident for my tastes and even if I was in the body of a seven year old little boy it didn't mean that I was going to allow someone to laugh at me.
"It doesn't matter what it is or how you are here."
"Did Aerith send you here to chastise me? She warned me about not being as choosy in my choices of a vessel though I can't begin to understand my importance in this if at all."
"No," He laughed. "Aerith did not send me. I was merely passing by after all the human heart of man is always interconnected to the life stream. I just thought that I would visit you and well, you have taken root in the savior of my world."
"This isn't your world like my world isn't my world. It all coincides and exists however distantly. It's one world, Albus Dumbledore we are but separated by different timelines." He didn't respond and I was glad. He was always the type to talk back to never be quiet kind of like Barrett after a long day but much less pleasant because at least Barrett was pragmatic and a lot more sane, however oddly that was. "You want to check on your golden boy? He's fine currently a little on the emotional side but hey, he's a teenager but then again there is a bit that you have to do with it. Weren't you ever planning on telling him?"
"I don't know what you mean."
"Why didn't you ever tell him that he had to die? I know it's a pesky little thing, after all, I died and I don't remember it being incredibly horrible but to a kid in his prime and in love I find it a bit...in bad taste. You could have saved him the grief and could have told him."
"There was the plan that you surely know of."
"Of course there was but the cruelty of it. For him to know that the only reason there was so much done to protect and nurture him to know that it had little to do with his safety but for everyone else. I know that you know about my time, about Sephiroth and hell, you must have heard an ear full from him right?"
"Oh yes," He said. "We had the most interesting chat while I was roaming the Promised Land right before his rebirth."
"Is it just me or is the whole impression of 'hell' a little different then what we're taught? I mean, he hasn't been sent 'into the flames of everlasting torture and hell fire'."
"Well what did you expect?"
"Being reborn is a copout."
He just shrugged.
"I guess that Zack followed him then?" I asked a bit curious. I liked Zack, he was funny and sweet.
"Of course he has."
"I figured as much."
When Sephiroth had died for the third time and had finally conceded actual defeat Zack had been incredibly glad. He'd stuck to the former megalomaniac general like glue as though Sephiroth had not tried to kill him.
"So General Prissy and Zack are going to be reborn in what, the same village?"
"Try as brothers. Twins, if Aerith was telling the truth."
"Seriously?"
"Yes."
It was happening again that feeling of overwhelming warmth bearing down on my chest. It didn't take a rocket scientist to know that the red headed girl was kissing my host and by the feeling of it, she was using tongue.
"Ms. Weasley is a bit passionate."
"Try advanced." I said with a bit of disgust only too happy to have the girl's older brother interrupt them. Sure I was in essence the 'boy-who-lived' since we 'shared one body one mind' or so to speak with all the corny dialogue, but I was a girl also. Or I used to be. "I think she's too much woman for him if you know what I mean."
"I can assuredly say that I agree, though I find that they are well together."
"You liked the Lovegood girl for him didn't you Albus?"
"She would have been a welcome challenge to him," He shrugged. "but he takes after his father. James always fancied the tougher women."
"But Lily didn't go out with half of Gryffindor." I added. "Though it could be worse right? He could have stayed with Cho Chang."
"I thought they were a good match."
"Yeah well, try saying that in front of Cedric. I was only too glad with his decision to 'wait for her' and it was really nice of Angeal to wait with him. But anyway, if you would like to tell me why you're here then get to it and after that find your own after life to rest in. I called this kid the night he was conceived I don't appreciate visitors."
"What do you suppose will happen when Harry dies, to you I mean. What will happen to you?"
"I didn't think about that. Does it matter?"
"It does, in a way."
"I'll get to meet my host. Maybe I'll open up with 'hey there, I've been living in your head since the night your parents got it on when your dad knocked your mother up. But hey, listen, remember all of those times that there was that voice you know, the voice of reason that you ignored? Well yeah that was me. It's an honor to meet you.' Yeah I like that one."
"You are very strange."
"I like to describe myself as an evil genius or maybe sinister. I like that one." I said with a short laugh but it was forced. Truth was I didn't know what was going to happen when Harry died. Since I hadn't actually been reborn into him...it was.
"You were trying to save that little life that was almost lost the night it was conceived I know. It's surreal the things you learn once you become apart of the life stream." Albus sounded truly thoughtful and for once I had to agree.
It wasn't just the voice of the planet that we heard it was the One voice a collective sound of the human heart that we were all connected to. We saw life born in all shape, species and forms with the One voice and we knew everything. Nothing was bared from the life stream once you were dead. If someone was dying alone the life stream knew.
So when Lily Evans had tried to take the 'day after' potion to eliminate a just in case pregnancy that wasn't a just in case but quite real, we had all known.
Only I was compelled to save the life that she was inadvertently killing. Suffice to say I had inadvertently killed the mother and the father of the little life I had selfishly protected and had chained myself to forever.
"They do not blame you. They understood that it was the right thing to do."
"I know but hey, do you think it would be in bad taste to tell him that Ginevra Weasley isn't the way to true happiness."
"What do you have against her?"
"She looks like me, well when I was alive. It's unnerving."
"Jessie."
"Well it is!" I said.
It was true. She had the same shade of red hair, the same build, the same brown eyes and even the pattern of freckles was the same. She looked like me when I was alive and I couldn't help but wonder if it was because I was with a part of him. I know that I was an influence of course and Gaia forbid that it didn't work out!
"Be that as it may, even if you are a major factor of the 'physical attraction' there is still the mental."
"Yeah well she's a lot like me in that sense too. It's scary."
"I see."
"Yeah well it sucks." I said as another bought of warmth pressed down on my again. "She really needs to stop stalking my host. Can't she understand what he's trying to do? He's trying to protect her."
"From what?"
"A Sephiroth in some snakes' clothing?"
"You made a joke."
"And a funny one at that." I laughed. "But seriously why couldn't he be with someone else someone that doesn't look like me or resemble his own mother in anyway? Someone that is his opposite would work. What about Parkinson?"
"Now you're being silly."
"Am not!" I made a point to stick out my tongue. "I wonder how Cloud is doing. I bet he's with Tifa."
"Not quite." Albus said with a short laugh at my expression which must have been comical.
"Who is he with then? I thought he and Tifa were hot and heavy finally."
"He is not with anyone. I thought you'd know, the life stream and all that."
I shrugged. I hadn't really been paying attention all that much not since the kid's first year in school when his life was officially up for grabs but then I'd never liked listening all that much. It always made me feel like a nosey neighbor and it really had nothing to do with me. Not really.
"I assume you want to be alone?"
"Gotta mull over the facts and the facts are that Harry boy is gonna die a heroic death meaning that I'm gonna kinda die all over again. I hope that they erect a statue of him at least some sort of memorial that gives everyone around it that allover creepy feeling. You know that 'maybe it's like haunted by his ghost or something' kind of thing."
He didn't respond just bowed and dispersed into green shimmering life stream and disappeared. I was alone again in the kids mind and I had decided, solemnly that maybe I should prepare myself for my immediate death, again. It wasn't like I was going to be crushed to death like before, there wasn't going to be a giant metallic plate to fall on me, it was probably gonna be a quick A.K. and I'd be back in the life stream again with Aerith giving the kid the whole 'So you might be dead but hey, you're in the Promised Land, you're gonna be ok.'
The kid was going to hate this place I already knew that and he was head over heels in lust with his best friend's sister, I say lust because I refuse to believe that it's love. They're seventeen and sixteen for Gaia's sake! They don't know what love is!
Anyway, I plop myself down and decided to wait until the kid figured it out. I wasn't disappointed, the kid learned quick but then it might have been the whole 'in the life stream there is the absence of time' crap so maybe it took him a really long time and I was just never fazed by it.
I was weird when I first got here and realized that I hadn't really just gotten there but had been dead for over half a year. Sometimes it takes a person to realize they're dead when they're dead. I had been so caught up on the whole plates gonna blow up what have I done with my life thing that I zoned out for half a year in the life stream without even realizing it.
When I came to it was at the end of the battle and Holy was doing its thing just a bit late and needed some assistance. I was being pushed to the surface with Biggs and Wedge right beside me laughing all the way up with a billions upon trillions more dead people and it was then I got it. I had been dead for a really long time I just never noticed and time didn't matter one damn bit A year or maybe a week would go by and I wouldn't have ever realized it if not for being fused to my host and experiencing all of his life or death crap. And then there was the whole Lily and James dying thing. That really kept me awake and alert for the differences in time seeing as how I never got over it especially when I learned of that stupid prophecy. I felt really crappy about that.
I know that sounds horrible but hey, the tiny soul he was when Lily took that potion wouldn't have felt a thing and he'd just end up right back in the Promised Land anyway. He would have been fine and maybe just a tiny little bit, I regretted saving that tiny soul because I'll be honest, I liked Lily. I'd been watching her since she was just a little kid.
I was shocked when the kid died, I honestly thought that we were finished when his heart stopped but then again I should have known there was no way of killing this kid.
"Ginny?"
I didn't know what to say really when I saw him. Of course I'd always known what he looked like, thin with shaggy hair and green eyes like Lily but I had to admit that I was struck dumb looking at him. So when he had repeated the girl's name again I shrugged and decided to finally alleviate the source of weirdness. Not to put Ginevra off oh his fancy completely but to move his affection. Place her in his spank box and let him move on.
"No Harry I am not your dream girlfriend."
"Who are you then?"
I stepped forward and stuck out my hand and just a bit awkwardly he took it in his.
"The names Jessie and I have been with you since before you were born. I am the only reason you like Ginevra Weasley though that is by pure accident! Nice to finally meet you."
"The only reason? So are you saying that my feelings for her aren't real?"
"The lusty ones you usually abide in the showers in the morning are real but the 'deeper ones' like being 'in love with her and wanting to marry her' is my entire fault I'm afraid. I'm an influence for your love of red heads and she does look like me."
"Not real? Oh hell..."
"Yup."
The whole meeting didn't last long as Aerith moved him to another location and Albus had his little talk with him before sending him back to the world of the living and I guess you can say that things got weird. I wasn't just a voice in his head anymore. We weren't connected.
"Are you sad to leave him?" Aerith asks.
"Kind of it feels like the end of an era."
"Or like you've just sent your child out into the world."
"Or like that." I said with a sigh. "Can I ask you something?"
"Yes."
"I haven't wanted to listen in or anything but...is he still you know?"
Aerith laughed lightly as he placed a flower crown on my head made of daisies. Aerith was always so pretty, the kind of girl I had always wanted to be when I was a kid. "No. As soon as it was said and done he'd avoided her enough until she got the point. Although that was years ago and now they're both married to different people and his sons are just starting their second year of schooling."
"Absence of time sucks."
She laughed again.
"Do you want to try something? Attach yourself to one of his sons?" She asked with a mischievous glint in her green eyes.
"Why?"
"Well I was going to attach myself to the younger twin. You know, I didn't want to be alone and I figured you'd want to tease and old friend."
"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"
She only nodded.
"I call General Prissy!" I said with a laugh.
Being dead wasn't all that bad and being attached to another host would probably be a lot better now that I had someone to torture and this time there wasn't any fear of being killed of prophecies. And Sephiroth torture is always fun.
It just hit me. Don't flame. It really sucks I know that it was just the evil plot bunny that invaded my mind.
-Sera