Authors note: This story is based loosely on the novel, Coming of Age by Valerie Mendes, so the plot belongs to her just to be safe, and the names of characters belong to Stephenie Meyer ofcourse.
I grasped the left hand of my father, Charlie, in my right, anchoring him to me, never letting go, no matter how slippery the friction between our hands left us. I wouldn't let go. I couldn't. I looked down towards the coffin of my mother.
That's really her in there, with her beautiful blonde hair and grey-green eyes, her skin gone stone cold and those eyes firmly closed.
I wanted to cry out in pain, voice my anguish, and beg for my mother to come back to me, my beautiful mother, Renee. But I couldn't even make a sound, my mouth was shut, and try as I might to say something, anything, the memories of the accident which had claimed my mother's life were still so fresh, that I was afraid of what I might say, I would make no comforting words towards anyone, I would just stay silent. I didn't want to talk. There was nothing left to say. It felt like my mouth and throat were blocked permanently, stitched together so tight, that it would kill me to speak.
Its not that I couldn't talk, Its just the fact that I wouldn't. I was scared of remembering something if I spoke to anyone. I didn't want to remember everything of that painful night, just two weeks ago.
The soil is thrown down gently towards her, like blossoms falling from a tree, yet the soil smells of dead carcusses, and I swore that I could see glistening beetles and chipped bones, mixed in with the brown soil.
I looked over my left shoulder, back at my brother Emmett, who is four years older than me. His hand was gently balancing on my father's shoulder, and he was stood very close to me. Emmett had been enrolled in a boarding school in Seattle, on a computer and math scholarship for three years, he loved the big city and belonged right there in Seattle. He was more streetwise than I, perhaps because I felt like I belonged in Forks, at the time, by my father's side. I was a daddy's girl, but the love for my mother was special. Charlie was my parent, but Renee was my best friend.
'I am so sorry for your loss, if there is anything else I can do, please do not hesitate to let me know'', Reverend Weber said to my father, yet I knew it was directed at all of us. The Webers were a nice family, always looking out for others, and Angela, the youngest daughter was a good friend of mine.
My eyes wondered around and landed on the Cullens; Alice, and her parents Esme and Carlisle. Their son Edward was best friends with Emmett, but was stuck back at the boarding school, in Seattle. Esme and my mother were best friends, and I knew that she was deeply upset. Alice is my best friend, and I know that it hurts her so very much when I wont talk to her, but I can also see that she understands. I just wonder how much longer her patience with me will last. I wasn't giving up any time soon. To their right, stood Rosalie Hale. Her twin was also at the boarding school with my brother. Their parents had died in a bungee jumping accident, in South Africa. They were both very adventurous, but the twins never formed a special bond with the two, because they were always away on some kind of new adventure. Instead, Rosalie took up residence with the Cullens, whilst Jasper was still at boarding school.
Aunt Tanya was living with my father and me now. She took care of us, but sometimes, I felt like she took care of dad too much. I could sense that she wanted more than just to be there for her sister's widower and children. Emmett had always joked that she had a crush on dad, and frankly the thought of it being true really freaked me out.
As I turn my head around, I swear I can almost see the spirits of the dead rise out of their graves, and I'm terrified, because I don't want to see mum rise, because if she does, I'm scared of what I'll see. I want to remember her just the way she was, when she was alive.
The party lead on into the house, and I can hear hushed whispers surfacing.
"It's so sad, Chief Swan never deserved this to happen to his family, he has always looked out for the well being of the town", someone whispers and throws a quick nod towards my father.
"The poor girl, she can't remember anything except for the flames which engulfed the vehicle from that night", I hear.
"It is such a shame, Bella has become a mute, she won't talk to anyone about what she saw that night".
"Well I think she ought to talk, her and Emmett are all her father has left", and with that I walk away. I can't take it anymore, the tears, the whispers, and the guilt. I run out into the garden to fetch Jacob, and we run off together, into the woods. He chases a bird and I want to yell at him for being a bad dog but I can't. I won't let myself. He longs for the attention of his owner, and yet all I want is for the attention to escape me, and for mum to come back, so things can back to how they used to be, me, Emmett, mum and dad and Jacob.