Disclaimer:I, nuclear-monkey55, do not own Rurouni Kenshin, a great show created by the great Nobuhiro Watsuki, or anything remotely having to do with Rurouni Kenshin...but I can still dream... I also do not own DC Comics or Murphy's law.
Author's note: After about two years of actually reading fan-fiction, I've finally decided to try my hand at writing. I take full resopsibility for any spelling and/or garmmar errors. Please Enjoy!
Murphy's Law
Chapter one: Tanuki's Bad Day
Murphy's Law- "Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong"
1:15 A.M, Sat., Dark, foreboding alleyway
'This,' thought Karou, 'is just plain ridiculous! Today was the perfect example of Murphyls Law!' Standing there, warily eyeing her attackers, Karou mentally went over her life, trying to decipher what she did to deserve such a cruel turn. Maybe this was karmic retribution for that one time she had accidentally- on- purpose burnt Sano's favorite fluorescent-yellow sweater (the one that was embarrassingly bright, the one that he insisted on wearing all the time in public, the one that should have been illegal to wear in public due to causing permanent blindness, the one that caused great humiliation to anyone associated with the tall rooster wearing the sweater)? Or maybe it was for the time that she had spit in Yahiko's milk and had watched him drink it as revenge after he had made a certain insulting comment about her weight? (She distinctly remembered her younger brother enthusiastically exclaiming that it was, quote, "the best milk that I had ever tasted!". Revenge was so sweet sometimes.)
But aside from those and other trivial incidents, she could not honestly think of any reasons why the God's above had decided to land her in this situation. Her attackers were four brutes. One looked as if he had been on steroids for the last 5 years of his life, one was a short, weak, creepy looking and resembled a weasel (she could have so easily taken this one down with a flick of her wrist), and the last two were your typical, non-descript street thugs. All of them were ugly.
While she was fairly good at kendo(some may even say that she was great if the trophies decorating her room were anything to go by), being assistant-manager in her family dojo that taught her family style, the Kamiya-Kasheen, she was without a weapon (where was her trusty bokken when she needed it?), her attackers had had the element of surprise and had managed to back her into a corner of the alley way eliminating all escape routes, she was extremely tired from her day, and while she liked to believe that gender did not dictate what one can and cannot do, she was not stupid and knew that these four thugs could easily overcome a 4 ft9" young women. All in all, she didn't stand much of a chance in hell.
She let out a huge, deflated sign. Maybe this was exactly the reason why her daddy had always advised her not to make late-night trips to the grocery store by herself? Why had she not listened? Didn't they (whoever "they" are) say that your daddy always knows what's best? Or was it Mommy…? Anyway, all in all, this was a perfectly horrible end to a perfectly horrible day!
8:30 A.M. Fri., Karou's apartment
She knew that this was going to be a trying day as soon as she woke up that morning. After waking up from a very bizarre dream (that involved Sano, wearing white pants, a shirt with the kanji for "evil" written on it's back, and red head band on his forehead running around screaming that cameras were going o take over the world and eat all of their souls, Megumi dressed up in a fox suit going "oh,ho,ho,ho,ho" while sitting in a tree, Yahiko and Yutaro involved in an extreme game of ping-pong, and a bock of ice ,with the name Aoshi stuck onto ,having a tea party with Maiso, who was dressed as a ninja, and Kenshin doing her laundry just to name a few things), she looked at her alarm clock to realize that it had run out of batteries (if the digital, red light that kept on flashing "low battery, low battery" on the screen of her alarm was anything to go by). One glance at the clock located on her bedroom wall verified the fact that if she didn't get her butt out of bed instantly and get ready; she would be in evidently late for work.
In ten minutes, Kauro managed to shower, dress, brush her teeth, and have breakfast (she swore that had to be some sort of new world record) and was out the door and in her car. Another 5 minutes found her on route to work. Ten minutes after that found her parked at the side of the road while the police officer from hell administered a speeding ticket.
8:50 A.M, Fri., Side of road
'That evil SOB!' thought Karou, as she took one look at Officer Saito Hajime smirking evilly at her from outside her car window. Schooling her face into a mask of politeness, Karou pasted on a smile, rolled down her car window and asked sweetly "Is there a problem officer?"
Ignoring her question, Officer Hajime instead took a long drag of his cigarette before turning his attention onto his victim. "Trying to set a new record Ms. Kamiya? Twenty-five miles over the speeding limit. I guess I should congratulate you Kamiya. Because of your speeding prowess, you have single-handedly managed to save the traffic officer industry all over the world. Though a little word of advice Tanuki, ever taught of waking up a bit early?"
. 'I will not try to kill him. I will stay calm, cool, and collected. I will be the poster-girl of pure civility. I am Karou Kamiya, attractive, intelligent, and amazing, I am a sexy beast! I will not let irritating, old, sadistic police officers get on my nerves. I am….' Karou's mental mantra was cut off as soon as she heard him call her "Tanuki". 'Why that evil, bastard! At least I don't take pleasure in harassing innocent girls! And why the hell it is that out off all the drug lords, rapist, pedophiles, and murderers out there in the world, the only thing he can thing he can think of is to give me a speeding ticket!'
"Do you always harass the people you give tickets too?" asked Karou irritably, eyeing her car clock.
"Why Tanuki, are you having an attitude with me? I'm genuinely shocked. You'd think if anything you'd be trying to get on my good side, what, with all these traffic violations! Eighteen in one week. And here I was thinking that Tanuki's were smart animals…" Saito replied, taking another drag of his cigarette.
"Have you nothing better to do with your time?!" exclaimed Karou, tightly gripping her steering wheel.
"Why Kamiya, how you wound me. And here I was thinking that you valued our special, quality time together." He replied handing her the ticket.
"You are one seriously deranged old man!" exclaimed Karou, angrily stashing the ticket in the glove compartment of her car.
Saito snorted at that statement "Oy, by the way Tanuki, Tokio wants to know if you're available for baby-sitting duty tonight for eight."
Ah yes, Toikio, her cousin's wife. It was a HUGE shock to ALL members of the Kamiya family the when rude, anti-social, sarcastic, and insulting Saitio Hajime had announced that he was to be married. Upon hearing the announcement, his mother, Karou's aunt, almost had a heart attack due to shock-she had long ago given up all hope of her son finding a mate.
After the announcement, the family had gone into an uproar, all speculating what the wife-to-be was going to be like: Was she ugly? A prostitute? Mentally incapable? Or, God-forbid, a foreigner?! Even Karou had speculated on the mental sate of her cousin's future wife, after all, the woman was insane enough to actually willingly go and bind her soul in matrimony with her cousin. Unknowing, the Wolf of Mibu had sent the family gossip mill turning at full speed.
Needless to say, it was an even bigger shock when, upon meeting Tokio, the wife-to-be, she turned out to be a sweet, kind, caring, polite, very pretty and normal individual (his mother really did have a heart attack then), a huge contrast to Karou's vulgar, obnoxious, evil, and not to mention weird cousin. Karou, in order to explain such an abnormal phenomenon had come up with four theories as to why Tokio would ever freely marry Saitio: 1.Her cousin had threatened the sweet woman into marriage (something she can actually see him doing), 2. he had hypnotized her (he was into that whole meditation, Zen, new-age thing), 3.Tokio really was mentally sick (not possible, the woman was way to nice), or 4.she was seriously, truly, fully, in love with the man (highly, highly improbable in Karou's opinion).
"Baby-sitting duty? You just gave me a ticket, insulted my looks and intelligence, and now you're asking me to baby-sit your offspring?" cried Karou, incredulously.
Saitio rolled his eyes, and gave her a dead-panned look. "Um…yes."
Karou thought it over. While her cousin was a sick individual, his children had instead (thankfully) taken after his wife in terms of personality… and she could really use the extra cash…
Karou signed loudly. "Okay, fine, I'll do it," she replied, defeated. "Now, if you'll excuse me dear cousin, I have a job to get to." And with that, she sped off to work.
11:45 A.M, Fri, Cowboy Larry's Family Funhouse
"On a scale of one to ten, I'd say maybe about a seven."
"Are you crazy? Have you seen his teeth? You'd think the man has never heard of the concept of dental hygiene."
"Oh come on Katimari! So his teeth are a bit out of order and are possibly discolored, but I bet he has a nice personality!"
"Discolored? Karou, his teeth are yellow! And Buck-Teeth Bob can have the nicest personality in the world, but I sure as hell won't find out as long as he has those teeth!"
Karou laughed out loud. Only Katamari could make a shift at "Cowboy Larry's Family Funhouse!" actually be fun. And Lord knows that she needed a good laugh.
Of course after her little meeting with her "lovely" cousin Saito, she had arrived late (20 minutes to be exact) and needless to say her boss had been pretty pissed off (He was one of those hardcore manager types that was most likely bullied in high school and used the power of his managerial position to exact revenge on his poor, over-worked and under-appreciated minimum-wage slave workers.) and had aggressively threatened to fire her if she was ever late again, in front of the whole entire restaurant, staff and customers included. She had never felt so belittled in her life and if it wasn't for the fact that she really really needed the job (Ah, the joys of a lower-middle class student putting herself through University.), she would have quit on the spot. Needless to say, it was not the greatest way to start the early mourning shift.
The morning then continued on to be extremely trying. It seemed that every family that entered the restaurant had kids with serious cases of ADHD (or with sugar highs) and parents who, for some odd reason, seemed to believe that she was a slave instead of a human being. Their was one particular incident when a kid (who she swore was a mini version of Saitio) took all the table cloths off the empty tables and started running around the restaurant, (causing the hugest disturbance in the world), and guess who had to chase after the kid. Yup, you guessed it, our favorite neighborhood Tanuki. And when she finally caught the kid and managed to wrestle the table cloths away from him (the little brat had even bit her!), he called her an extremely inappropriate name (what the heck are they teaching these kids in school these days?) threw a cup of grape juice on her (Staining the whole entire front of her white blouse. Good thing she had an extra one in her car.) and started crying. And what did the mother do? She actually had the nerve to get angry at her because she made "her precious Tataro" cry!
Needless to say, she was happy when her shift ended.
After bidding goodbye to Katamari (who had volunteered stay behind for the afternoon shift in order to cover for Shura, a fellow co-worker), Kauro headed for her car, turned on ignition. This was when Bert, her loveable 1986 BMW (as named by Maiso, who had an annoying penchant for nicknaming inanimate objects), decided to blow its engine.
12:30 P.M., Fri. Parking lot of Cowboy larry's Family Funhouse
Karou looked on sadly as the tow truck towed Bert down the street and around the corner. Signing dejectedly when she could no longer see any sign of her car, she tiredly sat down on the curb and thought over her option.
The blowing of Bert's engine had caused quite the commotion. One minute she had just been sitting in her car seat, minding her own business when suddenly there as a loud BLANG, and a huge plume smoke started coming out from the engine. Fearing that someone had tried to bomb her car (even though she couldn't exactly think of a reason why) she had immediately started screaming and jumped out of her car.
By that time, the diners and staff (all of who could see everything that was happening in the parking lot due through restaurant windows) had rushed outside, curious as to what was going on, and Katamari had arrived with a fire extinguisher and had dosed the front of her car. Fortunately, her engine actually wasn't on fire, unfortunately, the fire extinguisher foam had damaged her car engine even further. Result, since she had had to recently cut off her car insurance (only two weeks prior to be exact) due to being low on funds, it was going to cost her a fortune to get her car fixed. The tow turck man had told her that she was better off getting a new car. One look at her watch verified that she was now, officially late for her afternoon classs. And ontop of it all, she still ahd to pay Saitio's ticket.
1:30 P.M., Fri., University campus: Professor Shisho's Japanese Histroy class
So, close. I'm almost there! Just five more steps till I reach my seat….
"Ah yes, I see that Kamiya has finally decided to gracefully bless us with her presence."
And old Mr. Mummy Man catches me yet again. Why is it, that out of all the classes I just so happen to be always late for, it has to be his?
"Why hello there, Mr. Mum….I mean Professor Shisho." A scattering of giggles and snickers could be heard at Karou's slip-up. Karou inwardly cringed as Professor Shisho's eyes turned into slits and glared at her from his spot across the room. 'Fudge! I so did not just call him that out loud! I'm dead. He's going to kill me. I can feel the hate radiating from his body. He'll probably come to my house at night and suffocate me with his bandages. I bet now, he's mentally trying to gut my eyeballs out. Wait; is it even possible to gut someone's eyeballs out? And won't it be a bit messy, I mean, all that blood, and, and... eyeballs? And what would you do with the eyeballs after? You can't just throw them out! Not only is that gross, the garbage man may see them. I guess you can keep them as toys. Eww, who'd keep them as a toy? That's sick! Oh dang, what was I thinking about?. Right! Prof. Shisho evilly glaring at me and, hey wait, that isn't a glare, more like one seriously, evil, disturbing smile…'
Karou was put on alert as soon as she noticed Prof. Shisho's so-called "smile" If that's a smile, then Saito is Saint-Mary. "Well, since Kamiya believes that unlike the rest of you, she is above following the class schedule, to teach her a lesson, why you all have to do a five page essay, doubled spaced, ten-font, five resources,properly referenced in APA format about the rise of the Miji Government and the effects positive and negative effects it had on Japan's future economy? Doen't that just sound like fun. Now, on with the lesson."
Kaorou hung her head low and wished for the world to swollow her up as her classmates all aimed glares and looks of hatred towards her general direction while Professer Shisho continued on with his lesson.This was going to be a long class...
2:15 P.M, Fri., Campus cafeteria
45 minutes later found Kauro in the campus cafeteria along with Maiso and Megumi, both of whom were currently laughing as Kauro told the story of her day so far.
Maiso took drink of her milk that was soon sprouted out from her nose as she started laughing hysterically. "I can't believe you called old Mummy eyes by his nickname! Wow Kauro, you must have one serious death wish!"
"Eww Maiso, that's disgusting, your milk landed on my fries! And it's not funny! I swore that he was going to kill me!"
maiso laughed once again and then asked"Oh, can I have them then?!"in reference to the fries.
Karou looked disdainfully down at her soggy, "Maiso milked" fries and then looked back up at Maiso's hopeful, pleading face and pushed her fries across to hyper-active girl
"Yay! Free fries! I love you Karuo!" exclaimed Maiso as she dug into the fries with gusto
Karou looked over at Megumi- who was daintily munching on a salad and successfully ignoring the exchange between her and Maiso-, mentally encouraging the doctor-in-training to offer a share of her food. 'Oh Megumi my darling best friend. You're so great and amazing and intelligent and lovely and talented and much, much more beautiful than I'll ever be! And remember that time back in high school when you and Maiso had that big fight over which one of you I liked best and I said that I liked you both equally? Well I lied! It's you that I like best! You're…'
Meguimi glanced at Karou and raised one perfectly arched eyebrow. "Don't look at me Tanuki, you're the one that willingly gave up your food."
'You're one evil witch with a capital B!' Karou childishly stuck out her tongue at Megumi and looked down at her empty stomach, which just so happened to chose that exact moment to emit a loud growl. 'Oh well, I need to loose some weigh anyway. I guess this as good as a time as any to start.'
"Any how," said Maiso, through a mouthful of fries and adopting an exagerated british accent. "At what time shall I pick thy lady up?"
"Pick me up for what?" asked Karou as her hand snaked out to steal an olive from Megumi's salad.
Maiso gasped dramatically and clutched the area over her heart with both hands "Why Karou! How can thy lady forget! Sano's party! Everyone's going to be there!"
'Note to self: make sure Maiso never again takes drama as a course. The last thing this world needs is a more dramatic Maiso.' Karou inwardly cringed. She had totally forgotten about that! As much as Karou loved her childhood friend, who she considered to be a second brother, she honestly didn't think that she could handle one of his parties. Sano's parties were legendary around campus. They were exciting and wild and everyone who attended was sure to have some sort of crazy story to tell the next day. The last party Sano had held was busted by the police who had thought that it was a meeting place for rival gangs. Needless to say, Sano's parties never lacked excitement.
Megumi rolled her eyes at Maiso's dramatics and slapped Karou's hand away from her salad.
"Ow! Megumi! That hurt!" exclaimed Karou, cradling her injured hand.
Megumi snorted. "Then keep your dirty, little raccoon paws to yourself."
Maiso snickered at the exchange and then returned her attention back to Kauro. "So, are you going?"
"No can do my little friend. I promised Saitio I'd baby-sit his kids tonight. Knowing that sicko, if I cancel on him he'd find a way to make sure that I get traffic violation tickets every day for the rest of my life. "
"Aw, Karou! Megumi, please say you can come!?"
"Sorry Itachi, no can do," replied the fox doctor, not sounding very remorseful. "Me and the rooster head are currently arguing for the time being. If I show up to his excuse for a good time, I'll be admitting defeat."
"But I can't go without my girls!"
Megumi raised one perfectly arched eyebrow at the hyper girl. "Maiso, you just sounded like a pimp. Please refrain from ever say that sentence again."
Maiso made a face and stuck out her tongue at the fox doctor and then said dramatically "But really guys, I can't go alone, what am I to do?!"
Karou had begun to answer Maiso's question when her eyes just so happened to glance at the clock located on the cafeteria wall. The clock read 4:35. Kauro's meeting with her Science Professor had begun exactly five minutes ago. Kauro bolted up from her seat, but unfortunately, in the process of getting up, Karou's legs had somehow managed to get tangled up with her back-pack straps and she was instead,sent crashing to the floor, right into a puddle of grape juice. 'This is soooo not my day!'
5 P.M, Fri. Campus Library
"Stupid clock, stupid police officer cousins, stupid work, stupid car, stupid teacher, stupid cafeteria, stupid, stupid, stupid…"mumbled Karou to herself as she sat in the campus library, getting a head start on Professor Shisho's essay.
"You know Karou-dono, they say it's a sign of insanity to talk to yourself," whispered a voice next to Karous's left ear.
Karou jumped and whipped around, finding herself face-to-face with the bane of her existence, Kenshin Himura, the most egotistical pig in the world. 'Oh flipping great! Can this day get any worse?!.' The first time she had meet Kenshin was when the red-headed freak had pulled off the head of her "rock-star" Barbie on the first day of pre-school. There she was, sweet, innocent, cute little Karou, happily playing with her favourite, beloved Barbie doll, when a red-headed spawn of Satan grabbed it out of her hand and pulled off it's head, laughing the whole time. It was hate at first sight. In retaliation, Karou had bitten his arm. Soon, they were engaged in a full out fight and it had taken three of the pre-school supervisors to pull them apart. As punishment, they had spent the rest of the day in time-out without any snacks .
That was the beginning their feud. As luck would have it, they ended up attending the same Elementary school and it was as if fate had decided that they were to be inseparable. They were always in each other's class, their names just so happened to always came one after the other on class lists so they were always seated next to each other (there just so happened to be no students with last names beginning with "I", "J" and "K", go figure), an for some odd, unknown reason, teacher's always paired them together for school assignments, and as it turned out, they even lived on the same street. It was infuriating! As time passed, they became more subtle in their warfare. Instead of fighting openly and arguing loudly, the game became veiled insults and discreet humiliations.
As they got older, one thing became apparent: for being the spawn of Satan, Kenshin had the physical appearance of a God. He was every parent's dream come true: stunning good looks, charismatic, charming, intelligent, and amazing athletic ability despite his small stature. Girls stalked him, teacher's adored him, and guy's wanted to be him. It seemed to Karou that she was the only one who could see what a short, cocky, arrogant, feminine-looking jerk he really was.
Luckily for Kauro, Kenshin had disappeared during their first year of high school (she had even thrown a herself a party to celebrate his disappearance) and she had believed that the red-head was gone out of her life forever….or at least she had thought so before Sano had introduced her to his "new roommate" during the first week of university.
Karou glared at the red-head who was now offering her his most charming smile. "Actually Himura, it's only considered insane when you answer yourself, such. Talking to yourself is considered perfectly healthy and it is actually recommended that you do so. Now,that said, can you please kindly leave? You're currently invading my personal space."
The red-head in question stepped back and pouted, pretending to look hurt, but the mischievous look in his eyes gave him away. "Aw Karou-dono, really, now is that anyway to treat your childhood best-friend?"
Karou snorted. "More like childhood arch nemesis."
"Fro an arch-nemesis, you have to admit, I'm far better looking than Lex Luther."
"If you are in any way, shape, or form inferring that I'm Superman, I will hurt you."
Kenshin laughed out loud. "Then what superhero would you prefer to be inferred as?"
Karou thought for a moment then answered. "Wonder Woman."
Kenshin suddenly became serious, stepped back, folded his arms, and stared at her, his brow furred in intense concentration.
"What is it Himura?" Karou angrily asked, highly suspicious and somewhat uneasy about the sudden change in his demeanor.
Kenshin relaxed and put a smile back on his face. "Oh nothing, I was just checking."
"Checking what exactly?" asked the black-haired assistant master, one eyebrow raised, scowl on face, and arms folded, a perfect example of hostility, daring the red-head to say something offensive, but unfortuneately, the red-head couldn't take the hint.
"To see if there is any likeness between you and Wonder Woman, but sorry Karou-dono. Not only is she not Japanese, but you have way much fat around your middle, definitely not curvaceous enough, and way, way too flat. Have you ever thought about getting brest implants? I heard it works wonders for the upper-chest challenged. If you'd like, I can spot you the cash..."
Kenshin's monologue was cut off when the right fist of the angered, dark-haired girl connected to his left cheek. 'Once a jerk, always a jerk,' thought Karou, as she angrily stomped out of the Library, leaving behind the injured red-head without so much as a backwards glance.
1 A.M, Sat., Berry's 24 Hour Grocery Store
Baby-sitting that night had been an intresting affair. First, she had had to take the bus to Saitio's house (due to her car being inactive and a cab would have cost a fortune-Saitio lived on the other side of the city). Normally, she wouldn't have minded taking public transportation, she actually preferred it to driving a car due to being cheaper(the cost of gas these days was ridiculous!) and better for the enviroment, but unfortunately, not only was this bus 15 minutes late, the air-conitioner was broken and it was 3o degrees Celsuis outside, and it was so packed that she was forced to sit next to Harry, a scrawny who smelled like a garbage can who never shuts up! He had even stated to hit on her and refused to let her get off the bus untill ahe gave him her number!(She gave him the number of an Italian resturant that was rumered to have ties with the mafia).
Secondly, her 2nd cousins had been unnaturally hyper-active and it had taken forever and a year to get them to go to bed (She had ended up having to resort to bribery. She now owes a 4-year old and a 6-year-old ten dollars each respectfully.)
And lastly, her cousin and his wife had both arrived back much later than expected (Instead of 11 pm, they came back at 12:30 am, lovely.). By the time she had left, the bus wasn't going to come untill another 30 minutes, so she had decieded to go to the grocery store(located just down the street from Saito's house) to pick up a few items that needed replenishing in her apartment.
That is why at 1 am on a Saturday mourning, Karou found herself standing infront of the freezer in the grocery store, mentally trying to figure out what exactly was the different between partly skim milk, fully skim milk and 2milk and debating weather or not she should just stick to her regular brand or milk or try a new brand because it was 10 off when she felt two hands grab her at either sides of her stomach area and squeeze.
She squealed and quickly jumped around to face the intruder. Upon realizing that the intruder was a guy, she did what was drilled into the head of every girl old enough to walk on what to do when a stranger grabs you: she gave him good kick to his private area.
The intruder then gave out a cry of pain, doubled over, and fell to the ground, wheezing. It was then that Karou gave the intruder a good look and realized that he ha long red hair. Upon further inspection, she was able to verify that the intruder was none other than Kenshin Himura.
Upon realization, she immediately dropped down to her knees next to him and began to panic. "Oh-my-gosh Himura! I'm so sorry! I didn't really mean to! Well actually I did… but only because I thought you were a creep-ish stranger!"
The red-head grimaced and wheezed out. "Karou…dono…my…fingers…"
Karou took one look at the ground and realized that his fingers were under her knee and instantly moved. "Oh, I'm really, really sorry!"
Kenshin offered her a weak smile. "That was some kick."
It took a few minutes for Kenshin to regain his composure, and soon both individuals were standing face-to-face.
"Are you really okay Himura?" asked Karou worridly.
The red-head sheepishly smiled."Yeah, don't worry about it Karou-dono."
"Great!" And with that, the black-haried girl swung her grocery carrier at the sheepish red-head, hitting his stomach. "What were you thinking Himura, sneaking up like that? What are you, some sort of phedophile? And why are you here when I'm here? Are you, some sort of stalker?!"
The red-head held up one hand in a sign of retreat and held his sore stomach with another."Sorry, I'm sorry! No need for violence. I was just playing around.Phedophiles usually go after little girls, and you Karo-dono, are difinately not little." He smiled at the evil look Karou amied at his direction."I live around here and I decieded to take a break from studying so I came here to get a snack and then I saw you, so the question would be, why are you stalking me?"
Karou glared at the red-head who was once again charmingly smiling. "As if I owe you an explaination." she stated as she tried to move past him.
"Au contaire mes amis." replied the red-head, skillfully blocking her way."If I recall correctly, you are the one who kicked me in my precious area and then proceeded to attack my stomach for no apparent reason. I think I deserve to know the reason"
Karou rolled her eyes. "Fine, I was babysitting for my cousin who lives around here and decieded that I might as well go grocery shopping seeing that the grocery store is conviently located right down the street from his house. Happy?"
"Very."
"And what about you? Since when do you put academics before fun? How come you're not at Sano's party?"
"Karou-dono. I thought you know me better than that.Kenshin Himura, academic extordinare, always puts his school work above all else, especially if his Uncle Hiko is currently threatening to qiut paying for his eduacation if he is to fail mathimatics."
"Currently failing math, wow Himura, you're such a genuis!"said Karou sarcasticly.
"No, no my dear, not quite failing. I'm actually 1and a 1/2 away from failing. And I'll have you know that to many, sarcasam is considered to be the lowest form om wit."
Karou snorted. "Whatever you say my 'dear Himura'. Now if you'll excuse me. I have to leave now or Il'll be late for the bus."
"Wait, you're taking the bus home? At this time of night?"
"Um..yes."
"Karou, it's 1 in the morning!"
"Your point being? I really have no other choice seeing that my car broke and besides, there is nothing wrong with public transportation.It's highly safe.
"Of course it's safe, just not at 1 o clock in the morning. I'll drive you hame."
" Kenshin, no offence, but I doubt that I'd be any safer with you. You're a bit on the short side...and anyway, I'm a big girl now. I'm pretty sure I can take care of myself."
"Karou.." he growled out threateningly, his violet eyes darkening to a deep amber. "It's not safe .You are coming with me."
Karou got angry, it wasn't a question, it was a demand. If there was anything in the world that Karou hated (well, one of the many things in the world that she hated), it was being to be ordered about, especically by a red-headed freak who could freakily change his eye-colours ('How did he do that?'), so when Kenshin Himura grabbed her arm and proceeded to direct her to his car, she did what any angry girl would do: she kicked him in his private area and left him withering on the supermarket floor.
1:10 A.M, Sat. En rote to bus stop
"Stupid red-heads, and their stupid demands…"growled Karou "Ordering me about like I was his slave! As if! Kenshin Himura, you can kiss my…."
Her angry charde was never finished because at that exact moment, Karou suddenly found herself grabbed from behind by a set of strong, masculine hands and pulled into an alleyway
And that, ladies and gentlemen, was how Karou found herself in such a situation.
1:20 A.M, Sat., Dark, foreboding alleyway
Where was that old, sadistic Officer cousin of hers show up, when he was actually needed? No, of course he couldn't. The bastard instead chose to arrive at the most inconvenient times! And what about Himura with his stupid ride?!
'Think Kamiya think, what did they teach you in high school self-defense to do in situations like this? Right, consider possible weapon options! Let's see…..grocery bag that is currently tightly clutched in my right hand containing a loaf of bread, milk carton, jar of peanut butter, and chocolate.'
Right, now to evaluate weapons and consider which one would be the best
Loaf of bread-stuff it down their throat and hope that they choke
Pros: To busy choking to notice young, highly attractive, intelligent, Japanese young lady running away
Cons: How on earth an I going to get a loaf of bread down their throats?
Carton of Milk- throw it on their faces
Pros: may possibly blind them long enough for the aforementioned Japanese girl to escape and if she was extremely luck, they may swallow some and turn out to be lactose intolerant.
Cons: Take to long to actually go into bag, open milk carton, and physically throw the milk and, after further deliberation, what does it actually mean to be lactose intolerant?
Does it mean that you're allergic to dairy products? Can you die? That must suck seeing that chocolate's made with dairy products. And same with ice-cream! I'd die if could live with chocolate and ice-cream! How do people live this way? Wait Kamiya focus! You have no time to pity the ice-cream and chocolate deprived citizens of our world!
Jar of peanut butter- Slightly heavy object that can be thrown and used as a dangerous projectile.
Pros. Cause a moment of confusion and provide a big enough distraction in which I could use to escape the clutches of the evil goons or they may get distracted by the goodness that is peanut butter and not pay attention to the escaping Japanese girl.
Cons: May not provide an adequate amount of time for my escape.What if they don't like peanut butter? Even though I can't see how they cant like peanut butter. Its one of man's greatest inventions! Unless you're allergic to peanuts, then I may possibly comprehend a hate towards …wait a second, I have to focus!
Chocolate-can possibly used as a bargain item or maybe they'd be so thankful for such a delicious treat that they'd let me go!
Pro: Everyone, even evil goons, has to love chocolate (unless they're lactose intolerant). Chocolatelife!
Cons: They'd probably just forcefully take it away from her and then eat it all in front of me just to be spiteful.
Karou signed as she skimmed over her weapon options. So peanut butter jar it was!
Just then, footsteps were heard coming through the alleyway and the thugs all turned to face the sound. Upon seeing the figure, the skinny, sickly one laughed. "Ah, Battousai, come to claim your woman, eh!."
'Hey, "woman"? Are they referring to me? I'm not anyone's woman, but my own! And Batou-who? Who is that?" thought Karou, as she turned to face the person the thugs were talking to.
'Wait a minute! Kenshin?'
Author' Note: Was it good, bad, terrible, should I go under a rock and hide and give up all my dreams of writing fanfiction, or is it alright? Please do tell. Constructive critisim very welcome