Torn no more
Prologue
"Edward," I called, seriously.
"Yes love?" he answered, wrapping his arms round my waist and kissing my neck.
"Edward," I repeated, stern.
"What's up Bella?" he asked- unfolding his arms from my waist.
"Well… I've been thinking…" I deliberated. I really didn't want to do this, "Maybe… we just don't fit. Or maybe I'm not ready for this…"
"Are you saying we shouldn't be together Bella?" Edward asked again, this time he sounded shocked.
"No, Maybe, Yes, I don't know!" I blubbered, as I started to cry.
"But…" he stuttered, "Last night…" I saw the hurt in his eyes.
"Spur of the moment…" I muttered- unwillingly.
"Oh," he said simply, his forehead creasing. You know I wish it could have worked, for his sake. But this was big. I wanted a future… and not in Forks.
"We want different things!" I fought, helplessly.
"Really? We want different things? So why have we been together for a year then?" Edward asked, infuriated.
"I didn't know then- I didn't know what was going to happen!" I screamed, but not in an angered way. I was just upset, "I know I love you!" I added.
He pressed me up against the wall and corned me. His arms created strong barriers with his arms, forcing my eyes to look only upwards. My breath caught. I was startled. Edward's beautiful eyes bore into mine, and a familiar sense of love, sense and security overpowered me. He was hurt. The topaz crystals shone. They were filled with moisture. He blinked and one; only one spilled over the top. My trembling hand reached out and wiped it away. We were both lost, just lost souls in love.
"Bella," Edward whispered. His voice was filled with melancholy and sorrow, instead of the joy that usually radiated through his whole body when he said my name.
"Edward," I looked down, the intensity of the gaze overpowering my feeble human senses.
"You know Bella… I really, really love you," Edward whimpered. He started to shake.
"I love you too Edward… but I really can't! I'm moving to Seattle and going to college," I explained. Edward did want different things. He wanted to get married, be a small town doctor here in Forks. He wanted kids. I couldn't stand kids- at all.
"I will leave Bella. I'll move back in with Carlisle and Esme," he said, holding back the tears. Edward never cried, never, "Just one more thing…" and he reached down and kissed my forehead. I rose up on my tiptoes, and quickly kissed his lips. Edward turned away and jogged upstairs. I was having trouble holding myself together. Within minutes he had the essentials packed for tomorrow and was ready to go. He walked to the door, opened it and stood, for just a second, looked at me with heart-breaking eyes, then he left, closing the door lightly.
My angel was gone. Edward was the one who had helped me through all my difficult teenage years. He was there when my mother died. He held me when I was upset. He had risked his life enough times while saving me to deserve a noble prize.
And now he was gone.
And it was all my decision.
I started to cry, alarmingly loud and curled up into a little ball, hugging my knees for a little bit of comfort. My lips trembled, and then broke open. There was no way to describe what noise came out of them. I was just a woman, who had made an awful decision, and it was the wrong one. I started to hyperventilate and the darkness slowly clouded over…