BUT A WHIMPER
DISCLAIMER: No Degrassi characters or storylines belong to me.
NOTES: Wrote this after hearing a particular spoiler/storyline rumour (not sure which) for In Too Deep. So, fair to say it contains references to spoilers/rumours for later in the season. :) Title taken from TS Eliot's Hollow Men.
Hope you enjoy it. Feedback, comments, thoughts – all gratefully received.
"What do you want?" Fiona's voice was shrill, sharp, across the thudding music. "It's over! Can't you leave me alone?"
Holly J blinked, looked toward the source of the noise. There was a scuffling sound, and then a gasp, a cry. Fiona stood in the corner of the gym, her back to Holly J. Arms wrapped tight around herself.
And like the bad guy who just won't stay down, there was Bobby. Something caught the light, glinted in his hand. Holly J's heart stopped.
It was something that, if she'd seen it on television, she wouldn't have thought twice. Would have rolled her eyes at the cliché, even. Only, now that it was here, in Degrassi, in the world outside of television, it seemed very frightening and very out of place.
Bobby's gun was grey and black, and Holly J didn't doubt that it was loaded.
And then, as if in slow-motion, another figure entered Holly J's field of vision. Someone tall, blue Degrassi hoodie on, carefully negotiating the dance floor with two plastic cups. Adam heading back to Fiona, doing the good boyfriend routine.
She didn't think. She moved. In less than a second, she was in front of him, and he was pulling up suddenly to avoid a collision. Something orange and watery sloshed over his impossibly pale hands.
"Whoa! Thanks a lot," he snipped.
She didn't have time for that. She needed to get him away. He'd only make matters worse, and things were already very bad.
She spoke fast and low. "I need you to find Simpson and tell him someone has a gun."
Adam's face slackened. "What?"
"Find Simpson. Tell him there's a gun. Go now."
"OK." He nodded, cups hovering in uncertainty for a moment, and then, "Hang on, I need to get Fiona."
Shit!
"There's no time. I'll get her. You go."
He shook his head.
"No, she's right there. I'll just..."
"Adam, there is no time!"
But he'd glanced over already. Seen Fiona cowering against the wall. His brow furrowed immediately.
"Hey, what's going on?"
And then, perhaps seeing the same glint that she'd seen herself.
"Oh, my God. That's..."
She grabbed his arm. "Go tell Simpson now."
He stared, transfixed by the horror of it, for a second more. Then the world fell in on itself, and he dropped the cups, broke free of her grasp.
"You tell Simpson!"
"Adam, stop!"
He was gone. She became aware of a wetness about her, a stickiness. Looked down to see the orange drink pooled at her feet.
"Uh, clumsy much?"
Sav appeared beside her, grinning as he took in the scene. Holly J Sinclair soaked by her own school council-funded refreshments. That'd be a photo for Face Range, for sure.
The grin slipped off his face pretty quick when he saw her expression.
"Something wrong?"
The déjà vu was overwhelming. "Someone has a gun. Tell Simpson."
She watched Sav absorb the news, panic, compose himself, nod. It all happened in a few seconds.
"OK. Who and where?"
Good call, Sav. She knew he'd made president for a reason.
"Bobby Breckinridge."
His face screwed up, trying to place the name, and she shook her head, impatient.
"Fiona's ex-boyfriend. He's got her over there." She jerked her head, didn't look round. Partly to avoid drawing attention, and partly because as long as she didn't hear the gun fire, she could believe that everything might still be OK.
"On it." He turned to go, and then stopped, turned back, looked at her intently. "Do not go over there, HJ. I know she's your friend, but you need to stay back. Promise me."
"OK, I promise. Go!"
And he was gone too.
She didn't want to look around. She wanted to be back in the world where it was the end-of-year dance. Where yearbooks were being shoved under her nose, and people she barely knew pulled her into photos. Where the worst thing she had to deal with was seeing Declan and Sav in the same place at the same time – again.
Then she took a deep breath. She was Holly J Sinclair, and she lived by 'whatever it takes'.
When she turned, things had changed. She expected to see Fiona, Adam, Bobby, but a fourth figure had joined the group. Another boy. She recognised the jacket, the dark, tousled hair, and when he turned slightly, any hopes she had it wasn't Declan were dashed.
Of course it was Declan. He had to be the big hero, try and talk Bobby down. She stared, tried to will it to happen with her brain.
In the next second, Bobby will hand the gun to Declan. In next five seconds, Bobby will hand the gun to Declan. He'll do it now. No, now. Now. Now!
But Bobby didn't hand the gun to Declan. It was still there, peeping between his jacket and hand, very close to Fiona. Very close to Adam. Very close to Declan.
She didn't know how this worked. Would a SWAT team show up, put the school on lockdown, negotiate with Bobby for hostages? It seemed beyond comprehension.
Bobby's back was to the wall, but then, almost as if she had willed it to happen, he shifted slightly. Turned to talk rapidly and angrily to Fiona. The movement wasn't much, wasn't nearly as much as she would have liked, but maybe, just maybe, it was enough to make him vulnerable.
She looked around wildly. Something, something. A scarf, a shirt. A hoodie would've been perfect, but Adam was about the only kid in the gym wearing one.
No! There was another one. She dove into the crowd, grabbed the wearer by the arm, urgent and horribly aware that she wasn't acting appropriately.
"I need your jacket."
The girl looked annoyed. "What?"
"Give me your jacket."
"Um, why should I?"
"It's an emergency. I promise I'll give it back. Please."
And the good old Holly J sincerity worked a charm. The girl unzipped the hoodie, pulled it off, eyes wide as saucers.
"Thanks."
She turned on her heel and moved back towards the scene in the corner. Please let Bobby still be distracted. If she could just sneak up behind him, throw the jacket over his face, it might give one of the others a chance to grab the gun. She had to try.
"Hey!"
A firm hand on her arm broke her focus. God, not another photo! She didn't have time! But the attempt to shake free failed, and so she twisted to stare down her captor. It was Sav. Of course it was Sav.
"Let me go."
"You are not going over there, HJ."
He didn't understand. Fiona and Declan were like family to her. And Adam Torres, he was a good kid. Everyone in the gym was a good kid. At the very least, she could say no-one deserved to end the year this way – taken away on a stretcher, or worse.
She didn't have time to explain. She jerked away from him, tried to stay her course.
"Holly J!"
"Leave me alone, Sav. I have to do this."
"Will you stop?"
He grabbed her properly now, held her shoulders. She could see he was afraid, and she didn't need that right now. She needed to forget about fear – what it was and why she should feel it.
"This isn't some stupid school council problem you can just fix! This is real life! That guy has a gun. He could kill someone."
She couldn't believe he was being so dense. "Why do you think I'm in such a hurry?"
"You need to stay back."
"I can't!"
One more desperate attempt to flee. She wrenched out of his hands, and as if by magic, it worked. She spun away and immediately regretted it. Her movement was too quick, her feet in the wrong positions. For a split second, another girl's face loomed, horrified, towards her, and then they fell as one.
Her head hit the floor with a force that shocked her. Left her forehead stinging and raw.
"Hey, are you OK?"
All of a sudden, there seemed to be too much movement around her. She wanted everyone to go and leave her alone. Her brain ached. The tangle of limbs and weight felt awkward, suffocating. Someone was grabbing her, and she couldn't quite shake them off.
Then there was other movement. Something going on in the corner of the gym. Fiona and Adam. Declan. Bobby.
Someone shouted. The words rushed past before she could make sense of them. Was it too soon for the police to have arrived and saved the day?
The gun fired. The screaming started. The wall of people closed around her and she couldn't move any more. She couldn't see Sav. She couldn't see Fiona, or Adam, or Declan.
She sat on the hard, waxed floor, head dull, skin broken, and waited to see if the world had ended.
END
NOTE: Thanks for reading! Gah, I'm so tense about the rumoured shooting storyline. How about clicking that review link, leaving a comment? You know you want to. :)