Corruption on a Daily Basis (Draft)
Posted by OsakaRAWR, Jul 15 2009, 03:55 PM
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The story is slowly progressing, please tell me any faults/what you think of it.
Also note that the Preface happened just hours before chapter one.
Corruption on a Daily Basis
Preface:
"Hiya Teddy!" said Jack while walking into Ted's office in an uninterested way.
"Sit down Jack, we've got a lot to discuss" said Ted very seriously.
"Sup?" said Jack, still very uninterested.
"Jack, you've been working here for one week, correct?"
"That's right man! And I'm loving it to bits!"
"Well, according to your record, you've been given two assignments. To make 100 copies* of a certain file, and to water the plants. Which of those have you completed successfully?"
"Both man! I'm no idiot!" said Jack light-headed.
"WRONG! You've made 100 copies of your --s and set the plants on fire!"
"That's a classic! Employees always make copies of their ---ts!" said Jack amused.
"But how the h--- did you set fire to the plants with water!?" asked Ted hysterically.
"I guess it wasn't ordinary water then. You guys probably are too stupid to get non-flammable water in this place" said Jack relaxed, while some employees started watching.
"Alright, get out. You're fired! Get your shhh and get out!" shouted Ted, all employees we're now pressed against the window of Ted's office.
"And what are you looking at?!" shouted Ted at the employees, while Jack was already packing his stuff at his desk.
"Goodbye cubicle" said Jack sad.
Jack walked out of the office, into the streets of Falador.
"That's what you get from ignoring orders, you moron!" shouted Ted out of the window.
"Shut up old man!" shouted Jack, he saw Ted nimbly jumping out of the window and running to Jack.
"What did you say!?" shouted Ted hysterically.
"Catch me if you can, beardy" shouted Jack, and he ran away.
Ted knew he couldn't keep up with Jack, so he quickly took off his shoe and threw it at Jack.
He hit a guard.
"Oi! YOU BE TRIPPIN'" shouted the guard angrily at Ted.
"Ehh… sorry!" shouted Ted apologetically, and Ted waved at the guard.
"Yeah you better be, j----ss!" shouted the Guard.
Ted turned around and walked back to his office. Jack stopped when he saw Ted turning around, Jack was now a jobless man.
"Off to the job agency then" said Jack as if it was a weekly thing. Which it was.
Jack walked past the hairdresser and the bank, and entered the job agency.
"Look who's here! Jack! Got fired again?" asked Melanie, the secretary.
"Hi Mel, yeah, working's hard!" said Jack while laughing.
"Boss! Jack's here! And you owe me twenty bucks!" shouted Melanie at her boss's office.
"Send him in!" shouted the boss from within his office.
Jack stumbled into the office.
"Heya! I'm back Ray!" said Jack, reaching out to give Ray a hand.
"Hey Jack, nice to see you. Looking for a job I assume?" asked Ray nicely.
"Yep, are there any new ones?" asked Jack interested.
"Well, thanks to you, there aren't that many jobs for people like you left. Umm… let's see… I got the usual window cleaner, concierge, and bartender… Nothing new here. Sorry Jack"
"Ah, that's too bad. Well, I'll be off then. Thanks for your time. See you next week!" said Jack, while reaching out his hand to say goodbye.
Ray shook Jack's hand and Jack left, it was already getting dark.
*Copies were typed-out on a typewriter back then. Instead, Jack drew pictures of his ass and passed them round.