Summary: After Dark is a short story about Sakaki Haruto coming to terms with how his senior-most fellow hunter feels about him.

Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership in any way of the anime Witch Hunter Robin. I make no profit from the writing or posting of this fanfiction.

After Dark is written on the behalf of Silent Angel 1291, who placed the request last year. Thank you for challenging me and I hope you like it!

Please enjoy.

Everybody's a Comedian

'Oh, and Sakaki? Make sure you retrieve that old record you mentioned in the meeting this afternoon. It would be useful if I could try reading it first thing.'

It was remembering those words spoken by his senior hunter that had turned Sakaki Haruto around and back into the building. He scolded himself internally for having forgotten all evening to do the one matter of business he'd been given that night as he jogged up the fire stairs to the second floor. Sakaki was lazy, and it was late. He had already been halfway home on foot. He knew that if he continued home and waited until the morning, he wouldn't be able to pull himself up from bed to arrive early at Raven's Flat to find the record for Karasuma. Besides, there was no telling what 'first thing' meant to someone as punctual as her.

Sakaki hurried down a few long, dark and empty corridors to reach the room where they stored items from old cases that they might need later on. The case they were working on currently was connected to a case in which the witch they'd hunted was captured clutching an old record and a note. The note was the key piece of evidence in both cases; Michael had suggested that they try to cover all bases. Sakaki remembered the record and regretted ever having done so. Now it was his responsibility to find it amongst all the unorganized clutter in the storage room.

He opened the door and looked inside. It was pitch black even with the light from the hall, but he imagined creepy crawlies scattering from the noise alone and he took a step back. Whose bright idea was it to have a storage room so remote from their workstations? Swallowing hard, Sakaki felt along the wall for the light switch. The bulbs flickered on slowly. Most were burnt out. Irritated by the lack of light, and from worrying about the imaginary bugs that he'd convinced himself were hiding in the room, he took a few cautious steps in.

Michael had told him that he'd found the note in one of the boxes on the higher shelves, but that he didn't see an old record. He also hadn't gone through them all. He had started from the top just because, and had gone through five boxes before striking gold on the sixth. He didn't mention anything about bugs, but Michael was fearless when it came to life in general. He would see a tarantula and know exactly how to handle it because he was too smart for his own good. If Sakaki were to see a tarantula, he'd be found the next day dead on the ground from a massive heart attack.

Sakaki shook that thought away as he counted the sixth box over from the door. Michael said he hadn't gotten through the whole thing, so Sakaki decided to start there. He used the stepstool that Michael had left in place to reach the box. He sorted through it and didn't find any records. Frustrated because he felt that logically the note and record should be in the same box, he replaced it forcefully and grabbed the next, then the next, and then next. He sifted through big items and small, some that looked like worthless junk and others that looked like invaluable treasures. Indifferent and wanting to hurry home, Sakaki didn't pay anything that wasn't a flat, black donut shaped piece of vinyl much attention.

He found it once he reached the second row. It was in the box directly under the box that had held the note. Wishing he'd chosen that box sooner, but more excited about having found the record to waste time moping about it, Sakaki sat it on the ground while he put the box back on the shelf. He was too impatient to bother with the step stool, so he got on his tiptoes to slip the box in its place. It was heavy and he wavered under its weight. He stepped back and his feet flattened on the ground, causing his end of the box to shift down and nearly slip from the shelf. He pushed it, but the edge of the box was hitting the lip of the shelf's edge and wouldn't budge. He knew it would be best to lower the box and start over using the stool, but at the moment, that seemed like too much effort.

Using the shelf to burden some of the weight, Sakaki moved one hand further under the box and pushed upward. The box lifted over the lip and hit the top of the shelf, but as Sakaki moved it forward, it tilted upward more than he expected. The flaps opened and a teacup wrapped in newspaper rolled out and hit him on the forehead.

"Ow, damnit!" Sakaki let go of the box with one hand to grab his head and the entire thing fell from his grasp and onto his foot. "Sh—!" Sakaki bounced backward, and his good foot landed on the teacup. His foot rolled out in front of him along with his body weight and he fell flat on his back.

He heard a strange crunching noise beneath him, and he knew instantly what had happened.

Defeated, Sakaki remained on the ground in pain, but silent. He wanted to curse, but cursing wouldn't help. He wanted to stomp around, but he knew that would just make things worse. Was he cursed? Probably. What would he eat for dinner that night to make up for this clumsy display? Hamburgers sounded good. Sushi dinner? Nah. He needed meat on a night like that one. Bacon double cheeseburger with mushrooms and steak fries. The fries would need cheese, too. Coke would wash it down real good. At home? Yeah, better get it to go. Then what? A movie? A game? Probably better to watch a movie and fall asleep. Damn… Sleep. I'm going to sleep, aren't I?

Sakaki sat up quickly and tried to shake his fatigue away. Had he hit his head? He reached up and felt it. It didn't hurt, but that didn't mean that he didn't hit it. Probably best that he didn't fall asleep for a while. He got up and looked at the damage around the room. The record was broken on the floor, cracked in three pieces. Better the record than a bone.

The box was on its side and its contents hadn't quite come out. Thankful for that, Sakaki turned it upright, lifted it high above his head and slipped it onto the shelf. About halfway in, he saw a hand come over his shoulder to help him. The concept of 'help' didn't register fast enough and he jumped and yelped at he unexpected action. He leapt sideways and faced who was there.

It was Amon.

Shit.

Sakaki couldn't stop himself from flushing with embarrassment. He scratched the back of his head as he thought of what to say to redeem himself. With what seemed like no effort at all, Amon pushed the box further back on the shelf. He glanced over to Sakaki, then down at the stool, then over to the record and then over to Sakaki again.

"What?" Sakaki asked as if there was nothing out of the ordinary. Amon stepped over to the record and squatted down. He picked up one piece and it cracked as he touched it.

"I guess it's just its age." Oh. So that's why it broke so easily. Decrepit piece of junk.

"Yeah…" Sakaki chuckled. "Not like I fell on it or something." More nervous chuckles. Amon gave him a look that made him feel like a complete loser. Sakaki's shoulders fell.

"What we can't figure out is…" Amon began, "why on earth you didn't just use the stool?"

"W—we?" Amon pointed up and at a camera in the corner of the room.

Double shit.

"Oh," Sakaki mumbled. Amon rose with the piece of record.

"Hm." It sounded like a chuckle. Being looked at like an idiot was one thing, but being chuckled at by someone like Amon elicited an irreversible plunge in ego. "Karasuma should be able to pull something from this even if it's just a piece. We should go." Sakaki nodded.

Out in the hall, Amon slipped the piece of record into a zip-lock bag and closed it. He handed it to Sakaki and Sakaki took it. Amon stuffed his hands in his pockets and they walked in silence to the elevator. As they boarded, Amon glanced over to Sakaki with no particular expression. Sakaki rubbed his ear.

"So…why are you here at this hour?" he asked.

"I lost a bet."

"What?"

"I lost a bet." Huh? Amon betting? And losing?

"What…kind of bet. With who?" And what did it have to do with him being there so late?

"It was an innocent bet, no money. With Lee." Geez, could he be any vaguer?

"Uh-huh." Sakaki wouldn't get much more out of him. They would be seeing Michael soon, so Sakaki would just ask him. The doors opened and Sakaki hurried into the workroom. Michael was at his workstation stuffing a donut in his mouth and rapidly typing on the computer. Music was blaring from iPod speakers and Michael was swaying back and forth in his chair jamming heartily to it. He waved to them as they approached him. On the desk were two boxes of donuts, both opened and both eaten out of. Sakaki immediately knew that they were Michael's reward from the bet.

The donuts weren't the standard coffee shop fare. These were from the swank new café called Crème de la Crème that had already earned a reputation for easily selling the best baked goods in all of Japan, and they had the price tag to prove it. Michael couldn't get them just any kind of way. Amon would have had to call ahead with the order and then make a special trip to pick them up. Sakaki chuckled.

"I've just got to know," he said, confident that Michael would spill the beans. He was obviously gloating, because one didn't just scarf down a de la Crème. One savored each and every crumb.

"Oh, big hot shot over there thought he could beat me at janken. Ha! Ha ha ha…" Michael started laughing uncontrollably. "It just…kept getting more and more serious and then…and then we started betting and then…oh, man…I can't breathe."

"Evidence," Amon said. Sakaki was enjoying the moment too much to understand what Amon was trying to say.

"Uh-huh, and?"

"And then I kept…winning and then he kept betting more and more…" Michael held his side and snorted.

"Oh, man… This is rich!" Sakaki said, starting to laugh with Michael.

"And then…the stakes just kept…getting higher until…we decided to base it on a tournament…"

"Evidence," Amon said again.

"And then…I won…like every game right….and then…Amon had to buy me so many donuts! Oh, man and they're so good, too!"

"Wait, wait, so what did he bet?" Sakaki pressed.

"Oh," Michael tried to calm down, but he couldn't. "Oh, I don't know if I should tell you, Haruto…"

"Oh, come on, say it."

"Evidence." Michael cleared his throat and then started laughing again.

"Do you really want to know?" he asked.

"Dude, I'm dying for it, Mike." Michael rubbed his hands and reached into the closest donut box.

"Sorry, Haruto," he said, and he tossed him a donut. Sakaki caught it at his chest.

"What? You're not going to tell me?" Michael wiped his eye and started on another donut.

"After you get over the orgasm that donut's going to give you, it'll be the furthest thing from your mind." Haruto pouted and Michael kept laughing. "Damn, these suckers are so good!" Amon came forward and plucked the zip-lock bag from Sakaki's hand.

"Evidence." He sat it on the desk. "Take care of it. See you in the morning." Michael nodded and dug into the box.

"You have one, too," he said. "For not skimping out on me." Amon looked as if he was about to refuse, but then Michael tossed the donut and Amon had no choice but to catch it. Instinct aside, that was one expensive ass donut. Amon looked at the donut, then at Michael, and then he turned and walked away. "Later, Amon!" Michael called. Sakaki waved to Michael, planning to follow Amon. Michael leaned closer and said in a quieter voice, "Ask for a ride, loser."

"Why?"
"It'll rain and Amon's still got his car."

"But—"

"Don't act like he don't smell good either." Sakaki gave Michael an odd look. Michael started typing on the computer.

"What the hell does that mean?"

"You don't think he smells good?"

"It's…all right."

"So ride in his car with him," Michael said. "If I had a chance to ride in Amon's car with him, I'd be falling over backwards."

"Why?"

"Because he's cool and he smells good," Michael said, in the type of tone that made it clear he felt that Sakaki should have known that already. He leaned even closer. "You don't think he's hot?" he asked. Sakaki stood straighter.

"What? What the hell are you talking about…? I'm—" Michael's eyes narrowed suspiciously and he sat back.

"Gimme back my donut." Hell no!

"What? Why?"

"I'm not used to being wrong about stuff, and I don't like the way it's making me feel. So give it back."

"Hell no!"

"If you can't own up to the fact that you and I have something else uncommon in common then you don't deserve it!"

"Wait… You're…?" Michael perked an eyebrow.

"I get it…" he said. "You're…" He chuckled. "Never mind. You can keep it."

"I was going to, anyway. And…what do you mean never mind?"

"Lee?" Amon's voice was nearly directly behind him. Sakaki froze. He could have sworn that Amon was long gone.

"Yeah, Amon?"

"The elevator isn't working again."

"Oh, not again. Piece of junk. Let me try to work out the kinks." Michael started typing on the computer. He passed Sakaki a look and nodded over to Amon. Sakaki shook his head and shrugged. Like he would ask for a ride after Michael's insinuations. However true they were. Or not.

"You're still jumpy?" Amon asked Sakaki.

"No. Just cold, I guess."

"Hey…I just remembered," Michael said. "Since Sakaki's bike is getting souped up at that garage, he's gonna hafta walk home tonight… And it's supposed to storm." Michael looked between Amon and Sakaki. Neither jumped at the bait. Michael's eyes narrowed again. "All right. I see what's going on here," he said. "Either you offer him a ride or he asks for a ride or we're all going to have one big awkward slumber party." Sakaki noticed Amon's shoulders fall.

"Are you propositioning me?" he asked. Michael nodded very slowly. Sakaki looked between them.

"I'll just take the stairs," he said confidently.

"Yes, take the stairs," Amon said. "It's not like he doesn't have them under lock and key with that machine like he does the elevator." Sakaki realized why Amon looked so defeated. He looked at Michael.

"You're evil. You can't do this. It's against the law."

"This is my house," Michael said, tapping his chest. "This is my territory. I rule all here. Now, we're going to put our egos aside and be friends. Amon?" Amon just stared. "My best pal Haruto here needs a ride home. I'd hate for him to get sick in the forty minute walk from here to his place when it starts storming. Can you please give him a ride?" Amon walked closer to Michael. He reached down, grabbed a piece of tissue paper and took another donut. He held it up, daring Michael to protest. Michael looked like he wanted to, badly. Instead, he let out a deep breath, sat back and nodded.

"Deal."

"Let's go." Amon walked away quickly. Sakaki looked down at his donut as Michael unlocked the elevator via his laptop. Sneaky bastard.

"I want another one, too," he said.

"Sakaki," Amon's stern voice came from the hall. Sakaki frowned at Michael, turned and left.

"Good night. Thank me in the morning, Haruto!" Sakaki marched up to the elevator lobby, upset at the turn of events. Amon was still holding both of his donuts. Sakaki wanted to eat one already, but he wanted the one that Amon had grabbed. They got onto the elevator and rode down in silence. Amon looked so uninterested in his donuts. Sakaki wondered if he would mind switching. He asked him on their way to his car in the parking garage.

"Hey, Amon?"

"What?"

"Um… Do you want to switch donuts? I want the glazed one more than this one. I don't like jelly donuts." Amon looked at him as if he'd asked him to have his baby. Then he relaxed and made the chuckling noise again as he opened his door. Sakaki climbed in the passenger's seat. It did smell nice in there. Like leather and Amon's cologne.

"Just take them," Amon said. "I don't want any of them."

"What? Why?"

"Are those your two favorite words?" Amon grumbled. He handed the donuts to Sakaki, then leaned over and opened the glove compartment. Neatly tucked inside among various other items were wet naps. Amon opened the packet, took one out and wiped the sticky frosting from his fingers. Sakaki wanted to ask more questions, but Amon was clearly in a rotten mood. Did he really hate that he had to give Sakaki a ride now, or what? Amon opened the small compartment between their arm rests and stuck the napkin in it. Then he put on his seat belt. Sakaki put one donut in his mouth held the other two with one hand in order to buckle himself in. Amon pulled out of his park and soon, out onto the street.

Sakaki started on the jelly donut. In truth, it was borderline orgasmic, but the jelly ruined the integrity of the entire pastry. Sakaki eyed the glazed donut like a hawk, thinking of how it would taste and trying to replace it with the taste of the jelly donut. He started on the second one, one with chocolate frosting. This one was a cut above orgasmic. Why had Amon passed up the chance to float in heaven like that so easily?

"Why did you take a donut that you didn't want?" Amon didn't say anything. He had his hands on ten and two. The radio was off and he looked uninterested in everything, like usual. "Is it because…you wanted to hit him where it hurt? We shouldn't play games like that with each other, but that sure was kinda funny."

"Lee is kinda funny." Sakaki stared at him. Amon thought Michael was funny?

"Yeah…" Sakaki said. "Sure you don't want a piece?" Amon didn't answer. Sakaki faced the other way and savored the rest of his donut. As he pondered whether or not he should save the last one for the next morning, Amon ran a red light. Sakaki looked over to him. He still looked completely indifferent.

"You just ran a red light."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, you did."

"Hm." What the hell? What if there were cops out and they got pulled over? Cops hated their guts, being STNJ hunters.

"It's already late," Sakaki said. "I don't want any trouble."

"Unless you plan on sleeping in the car, I suggest you get the idea that it's bedtime out of your mind."

"What?" Amon didn't say anything. Sakaki wanted to scowl. It was one thing to be irritated by how Sakaki was always asking questions, but it was another to be vague and expect Sakaki not to want more details. "Answer me, Amon."

"I'm hungry." Sakaki waited. For what? he wanted to ask. Where were they going to go, then? he wanted to inquire. He was becoming irritated and he didn't want to hold on to the donut all night, so he started eating it to calm down.

"I want burgers."

"Then you're in luck."

"Not no skimpy NacDo burgers, either."

"Because I frequent fast food joints," Amon said. When did he become so damned sarcastic?

"Hm," Sakaki said, to annoy him. Amon looked over to him. With a smirk, he made the noise louder.

"Hm." Then he faced the road. Sakaki stopped chewing and he felt dread overcome him just as if he'd come face to face with a serial killer. Amon smirking was scary. It was beyond scary. It was like realizing the person who picked you up wasn't the kind, generous person you thought they were. The smirk was the point you turned to the door and the driver locked it before you could open it. Why would they do that? What did they plan to do after that? Sakaki turned to the door. It was already locked, but it was still like a creepy omen. He swallowed his bite and tried to remain focused on the donut. Things were awkward now, weren't they? Why couldn't he just drop Sakaki off before getting food? Why the hell did he smirk like that?!

"What's with you?" Sakaki asked.

"I didn't think you were funny," Amon said. "But…I was wrong about that."

"You find me funny?"

"Hm." Sakaki scratched his head. So the smirk was an attempt to laugh? Should he feel relieved or should he feel bad that his superior was laughing at him?

"Well…that's okay. I guess." Sakaki ate the rest of his donut and wiped his hands on his pants. He thought Amon would show disapproval, but he didn't. Sakaki chewed the bite out longer than he had to, then swallowed it.

"Damn that was good." He turned to Amon. "What place do you have in mind?"

"A steakhouse I frequent."

"Steakhouse?" That sounded expensive. "I only have ten dollars."

"Hm."

"What's funny about that?" Amon glanced over to him and he wasn't frowning. He wasn't smiling, but he wasn't frowning either. "You can't imagine that I'd only have ten bucks on me? It's not like the company's helping me fix my bike."

"There's nothing wrong with your bike."

"The hell there isn't. It's gray."

"Oh, how naive of me. It must be so hard for you. Hm, hm."

"Oh, come on. No self-respectin' biker's gonna just let his bike be gray."

"Of course not."

"Dam straight. It's got absolutely no character and it's an easy target. If you give the bike some personality, people will remember it better."

"Uh-huh." Sakaki frowned and settled back in his seat. He had the feeling that it was going to be a long, awkward night.

"Are you just going to keep sitting back acting all smug?"

"Why should I act any different than normal?" Amon asked.

"I dunno. Maybe it's because I'm here now."

"What makes you so special?" Sakaki took offense.

"I must be special if you're treating me to a steak burger, and not taking me straight home." Amon's expression changed into one that Sakaki had never seen before. It looked as if he'd dropped his defenses. It was the first time that Sakaki had seen him not looking like he was plotting doom.

"I guess…you're right…" Amon said. Sakaki backed up into the car door. Was it just him, or had his voice loosened up as well? It didn't hold its usual threatening edge.

"Okay, you can stop now…" Sakaki squeaked. "This is too weird." Amon smirked and shrugged.

"I don't know," he said. "I kinda like that I can be loose with you." Sakaki sat up.

"Uh-oh," he said, teasing. "I think I might get a lot of dirt to dish tomorrow."

"Possibly." Amon ran another red light.

"You're in a hurry," Sakaki said just as Amon said, "Do you wanna hear a joke*?"

"What, from you?" Sakaki asked. Amon nodded, looking over to Sakaki with a glint in his eye. Sakaki found himself smiling, then chuckling.

"Yeah, right," he said. "You, cracking a joke?" He laughed a little louder.

"Last chance," Amon said.

"Sure you can tell me," Sakaki said. "How do you know any jokes, anyway?"

"Take a wild guess," Amon said, confident that Sakaki would know. "Here goes. If you are Japanese when you go into the bathroom and you are Japanese when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom?" Sakaki shrugged.

"I dunno, what?" he asked.

"European." Sakaki frowned.

"What?" he asked, then he understood. "Oh!" He couldn't help but laugh. It was one of the stupidest jokes he'd ever heard and the fact that it was Amon that told it only made the situation more humorous. "I don't know you," Sakaki said, trying to breathe past his chuckles. "I don't know you at all."

"Well, I'll change that tonight," Amon said mirthlessly. How could he not laugh at his own joke? Sakaki wondered, not fully hearing Amon's words, as he was too caught up in laughing. He did, however, notice that they were pulling into the parking lot, so he urged himself to calm down in order to get a good look at the restaurant.

The second chapter is in the works. Thank you for reading and please review!

kaj

*Amon gets his jokes from Michael, however, it would be lost in translation. Assume that Amon told him a similarly silly Japanese joke.