A/N: I have been working on this one-shot for quite some time and I hope you enjoy. Reviews would be much appreciated. :D
Disclaimer: Anything related to Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer; I am just borrowing her characters. The title of the story and the song lyrics in the beginning belong to The Perishers, it's a lovely song.
Nothing Like You And I
We spent some time together walking
Spent some time just talking about who we were
You held my hand so very tightly
And told me what we could be dreaming of
There's nothing like you and I
We spent some time together drinking
Spent some time just thinking about days of joy
As our hearts started beating faster
I recalled your laughter from long ago
There's nothing like you and I
We spent some time together crying
Spent some time just trying to let each other go
I held your hand so very tightly
And told you what I would be dreaming of
There's nothing like you and I
So why do I even try?
There's nothing like you and I
Leah Clearwater was dying. She was dying and there was nothing Jacob, or anyone else, could do about it. At least that is what Leah had told him over the phone when Seth had called to give the news. Even in her last days, Leah found the strength to argue with him. And even though Leah had asked him to not come see her, Jacob found himself on his way back to La Push. It had been years since he had moved away with Nessie and the rest of the Cullens. Yet as he looked out the window of Seth's car, he realized nothing much had changed about the Rez.
But then again, what did he expect he would find when he returned. By now Jacob Black had seen much of the world, experienced all it had to give. And yet when he saw the familiar surroundings he couldn't help the feeling of melancholy that filled him. He glanced at Seth. Not much had changed about the kid either. Physically, Seth still looked how he had when Jacob had left. But there was a sadness to him now, a sadness that could only be brought by age and the current circumstances. Jacob could only imagine how Seth was feeling right now. He was about to lose the last member of his family; he would from now on be alone. Jacob understood how that felt. Billy died about seven years after Jacob left, Rebecca had died a year ago, and Rachel had only passed away a few months ago. They had all died with long happy lives, old and wrinkled, but content.
But Jacob had the comfort of knowing he had Renesme waiting for him. He would always have Renesme; they would live together for all of eternity. Seth had yet to find his imprint. So for the time being he would remain alone, either until he found her or he grew tired of waiting. Now that Jacob thought about it, the Clearwaters were the only two who had not imprinted. The rest of the pack had found their soul mates and stopped phasing long enough to age. Leah had been the only one to choose to stop phasing without an imprint. The decision had much to do with her inability to imprint and her immense hatred for the pack life.
"So, how is she doing?" Jacob broke the silence. Seth glanced at him quickly.
"She says she's fine, just waiting for the time it happens," Seth answered. He turned onto Jacob's old street, and Jacob watched as they passed his old home. He noticed a pair of children running around the front yard, their mother watching from the porch.
"And how do you feel about all this?" Jacob asked.
"I don't know," Seth shrugged. "I wish she didn't have to go, but it's her choice. This is how she wanted things. She was fed up with being a wolf and all the crap that came with it. But I'll miss her; I'll miss her very much."
"We all will," Jacob whispered.
"It's only us, Jake. Everyone else is gone," Seth snorted cynically. It was strange to hear him speak like that, but Jacob knew it was true. They were the last living of the pack. Finally, Seth pulled up to the Clearwater home. Like everything else, it had not changed. Both of them got out of the truck, Jacob carrying his small bag of luggage. He was assaulted by the scent of the pine trees in the forest and salty air of the ocean. It was a scent he had not realized he had missed. He grabbed his one bag and followed Seth inside the familiar house.
Everything was the same, all the furniture in the same spot it had always been. In all honesty, Jacob was expecting Leah to walk down the stairs at that moment. But he knew she wouldn't, she couldn't. Jacob saw Seth disappear into the kitchen only for him to reappear with a glass of water.
"Come on, I'll show you where you can put your things. Then I have to give Leah her medicine," Seth walked up the stairs and Jacob once again followed. When they reached the top of the stairs Seth pointed to what had been Leah's bedroom when she was young. Jacob opened the door and set his bag down next to it before closing it again.
"Are you sure you want to see her like this?" Seth asked stopping at the door of the master bedroom.
"Of course, it's Leah, I came to see her," Jacob answered.
"But that's the thing; it's not Leah anymore. She died a long time ago," Seth replied. At his words, Jacob felt something pull at his heart. Finally Seth opened the door and led him in. The room was dark, but Jacob could make out the bed placed against the wall. On it was a mound that he assumed was Leah.
"Leah," Seth whispered when he reached the bed. He reached his arm out to touch her arm. "Leah, wake up, it's time for your pill." Jacob heard some noise from the mound under the blankets. Seth turned on the lamp on the bedside table. Jacob was not expecting to find what the light had exposed. Sitting up against pillows was Leah, and it shocked Jacob to see how time had changed her. What used to be smooth, bronze skin had become wrinkled and blemished. Her beautiful, flowing black hair had faded into a grey and thinned. She looked so fragile and small against the pillows. What had once been beauty had turned into a tragedy. It looked nothing like Leah, but at the same time Jacob knew it was.
"Look who's here Leah. Look who came to see you," Seth continued to whisper. "It's Jake." Leah's unfocused eyes turned towards him. The recognition shone in them.
"I thought I told you not to come," Leah's voice was raspy and tired. It took him a while to find his voice.
"When have I ever listened to you?" Jacob's voice cracked a bit. "Besides, I wanted to see you."
"What for, to see how pathetic I have become?" Leah asked the same bitterness that he remembered from when they were younger still laced her voice.
"No, you're my friend. I wouldn't do something like that. I've missed you," Jacob answered. Her gaze was steady on his face.
"I don't believe you," Leah stated. Seth handed her a pair of pills and the cup of water. She took it without hesitation. Seth took the glass from her and placed it on the bedside table. He arranged the pillows to Leah's comfort. Jacob watched him fuss over her, recalling how Seth had always cared for Leah. Even back when Leah was capable on her own, Seth watched over her. It was strange to see the siblings like this, Seth still so young and Leah so aged.
"If you really missed us, you would have come to us sooner," Leah said.
"I know, I was wrong to have waited so long to come back," Jacob admitted the guilt twisting his stomach. "There is no excuse for my absence."
"You haven't been here since your dad died. You didn't even come to Rachel's funeral," Leah commented. This caused Jacob to hang his head in shame.
"I know," Jacob whispered. Seth finished rearranging the bottles of pills on the bedside table and grabbed the cup.
"I'll leave you two alone for a moment. Don't talk for too long Jake, Leah needs to rest," Seth said before leaving the room and closing the door.
"So how are you feeling?" Jacob asked wanting to change the subject of their conversation.
"Old," Leah answered simply. She threw him a small, wrinkled smile. Jacob understood that Leah had finished with the scolding.
"Well, I could have figured that out myself," Jacob replied sarcastically.
"Didn't your father ever teach you that you're supposed to speak respectfully towards your elders?" Leah teased. Jacob could only roll his eyes. They were silent for a while.
"Do you ever regret not phasing?" Jacob asked softly. Leah didn't answer for a long time; he thought she might have fallen asleep. Jacob got up to leave.
"Where are you going?" Leah asked.
"Oh, I thought you had fallen asleep, so I was going to go look for Seth," Jacob answered as he came back to sit on the edge of the bed.
"No, I was just thinking how I was going to answer your question," Leah said.
"Oh, well do you have an answer?" Jacob asked.
"I don't regret it; I had a life after I stopped," Leah looked straight into Jacob's eyes. "What I do regret is that I'm a burden to Seth. He says I'm not, that he wants to take care of me. But I just hate that I will leave him alone in the end. It makes me cry sometimes. Seth deserved a much better sister than I was."
"Leah don't say that. You were the perfect sister for Seth. He loves you," Jacob reached out to touch her hand. It was so small compared to his. "And don't worry, I'll watch over him for you."
"I really appreciate that Jake. Help him through this, remind him that this is what I wanted," Leah says softly. He noticed that Leah was growing very tired.
"Leah, you should get some rest. I'll see you in a bit," Jacob said. Carefully, he covered Leah with the quilt and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek.
"Goodnight Jacob," Leah whispered before closing her eyes and letting sleep overcome her. Jacob turned off the lamp and walked out of the room. He walked downstairs to find Seth. It was strange to see Leah so old. The sight of Leah had him remember when she had decided to stop phasing. It was a little after he had imprinted on Renesme. They had been patrolling together the night she told him. They had been talking about what would happen now that everything with the Cullens was done. Leah was still on with her idea of leaving.
Leah had phased before him, quickly changing into her clothes. She turned around to give Jacob some privacy. When he was done, they began to walk out of the forest. It was nearly daybreak; the sun could be seen attempting to make its way past the horizon. "Jacob, I think I'm going to do it."
"Do what?" Jacob asked absentmindedly as usual his thoughts were on Nessie.
"I'm going to leave La Push," She said with such firmness, such conviction, that Jacob's train of thought stopped.
"Leaving, and where are you going to go?" Jacob asked. He remembered their conversation from before, when she began to toy with the idea. To be honest, he never thought she would go through with it. And to be even more honest, he still didn't.
"Well, I haven't chosen somewhere specific, but somewhere I can study. I always wanted to go to college. Like I said before, I'll take yoga or something to help me with my anger," Leah answered.
"What's with the yoga?" Jacob asked.
"I just want to control my anger. No more bursting at anything that irritates me," Leah said. She kicked at a stone as they made it down the street her house was at.
"You sound like you want to stop phasing," Jacob turned towards her. Leah shrugged and this caused Jacob to look at her strangely.
"I do," Leah's simple statement caused Jacob's breath to end up short.
"But why? Aren't you happy, Leah? I thought you liked being my beta," Jacob inquired.
"I do like being beta, and like being a part of your pack. And yes I'm much happier with you than with Sam, but there's only so much I can withstand," Leah started.
"What are you talking about? I thought you were fine with Emily and Sam," Jacob looked a bit angry now.
"Jacob, just because everything worked out it doesn't mean that it did for everyone," Leah muttered. "I'll always love Sam, and it will always hurt me to know that I could have been with him if it hadn't been for this bullshit. I do accept it, though. But I can't continue to live my life like this. I don't want to have to deal with all of this anymore. I want a life; I want options. But most of all, I want to be able to find my own happiness. You know I can't do that here."
"Think of everyone else. Think about how your mom will feel, how Seth will feel. The pack was warming up to you," Jacob uttered. "We need you."
"I may act like a selfish bitch most of the time. But you of all people should know how much I have sacrificed for everyone else," Leah hissed as she stopped walking. "In these last few years, I have given everything of myself to everyone else only to be constantly screwed over. Sam took my heart, Emily took my friendship and eventually my love, the pack has taken my sanity as well as my pride. So when you tell me to think of everyone else, let me just tell you that I have nothing more to give. I'm done with fate finding it hilarious to constantly ruin my life."
"So you're just going to up and leave then?" Jacob asked.
"Yeah, it's time for me to move on. This will be good for me; there's so much screwed up shit in my life. I really do need a new start," Leah answered. Jacob just stared at her before turning and walking away.
Jacob remembers that Leah left the next day, only saying goodbye to her mother and Seth. He didn't see her for the next ten years, not until Embry's wedding. The pack, except for Seth, had little to no contact with her before that. No one thought Leah would return for the occasion. Thinking back on that night all Jacob can see was Leah's smile. Gone was the bitter, angry Leah. There was spunk to her now; a thirst for life was evident in Leah.
"Hey Jake," Jacob had been speaking with Quil and Seth when Leah approached him at the wedding reception. He had seen her during the ceremony, but had avoided being anywhere near her. The sound of her voice behind him caused a bout of nerves to hit him. It had been so long since he had last spoken to her. When he turned around he was greeted by a soft smile and bright eyes. She was dressed in a tight red gown; he hadn't recognized her when he first saw her. He had noticed that many pairs of eyes had been following her. Hell he hadn't been able to keep his eyes off her. There was no denying that Leah was beautiful, she always had been. But the change in her was obvious.
"Hi Leah," Jacob turns around. Quil and Seth glance at each other and make the quick decision to leave the two alone.
"How are you, Jake?" Leah took a sip from her champagne glass.
"I've been good and you?" Jacob answered. Leah presented him with a large smile.
"Never better," Leah answered dazzling him with the same smile he remembered from their childhood. It was then he knew that Leah had been smart in leaving. Doing so had allowed her the freedom she had so craved.
"I can see that life has been good for you. Your mom told me all about that restaurant you're opening up," Jacob commented. "I never took you as the cooking type."
"Oh, but I won't be cooking, I'll just deal with the management," Leah replied. "I never took myself for the cooking type either, for that reason I decided to go into business. I like being my own boss."
"You did always like to take charge," Jake stated as he sipped from his drink. Leah smiled at him from over the rim of her glass.
"It's my nature. So how are things between you and Nessie?" Leah questioned. The last time Leah had seen her Nessie had been only months old, now Nessie had grown to her full age.
"Things are fine, we're finally together," Jacob said politely.
"Well that's nice, at least you had it easier than Quil," Leah commented. Jacob turned to the dance floor where Quil could be seen dancing with thirteen-year-old Claire. "To be quite honest with you Jake, I'm surprised you're here at all without her."
"What's that supposed to mean," Jake asked indignantly.
"Sorry, I didn't mean for it to sound like that. I just thought that the Cullens had left and you had gone with them," Leah explained.
"They did, but I stayed while Nessie finishes her last year at Harvard," Jacob answered.
"Oh impressive, of course she would get accepted into the Ivy League. I bet you're all very proud of her." It was strange not hearing the comment dripping with sarcasm. It was extremely disconcerting seeing that Leah was being sincere.
"Yeah Bella and Edward were so excited," Jacob said absentmindedly. Leah's stare was distracting and uncomfortable. "Don't take this the wrong way or anything, but you have really changed you know that?"
Leah laughed at his statement. Her smile never left her face. "What, I'm no longer the bitter bitch? It was bound to happen."
"Yeah, I guess," Jacob's tone had become soft. Leah's gaze melted a little at the change in his voice.
"Do you miss that Leah?" She questioned. Jacob remained silent for a few minutes, in which Leah's gaze didn't falter.
"I miss my beta," Jacob finally answered. Her gaze became soft and her smile a little sad.
"I couldn't be that anymore, Jake. I hated myself. Besides it turned out for the best," Leah rationalized. "My life is good now, I'm happy. Don't you think I deserve that?"
"Of course you deserve that, more than anyone. But the pack still missed you," Jacob replied.
"And I missed all of you, but if I hadn't left I would have been miserable. I wouldn't be able to be sincerely happy for my pack-brother today," Leah said. They both stared out into the dance floor and watched as everyone danced. Quil was still spinning Claire around the entire dance floor and Embry could be seen with his new wife in a tight embrace.
"As long as he's happy, I don't mind him imprinting," Leah whispered. Jacob could see the old sadness in her face, but it quickly went away. "When the whole splitting of the pack happened, I got this idea in my head that you and I could have been good together."
"Hmm, is that so?" Jacob didn't know what to answer to that confession. Leah smiled and nodded as she finished sipping the last of her champagne.
"Yep, I know it was silly. We hated each other, but I felt that we were somehow connected you know. Both of us had given our whole hearts away only to never have them returned when they were rejected. I began to create little scenes of us in my head as weird as that sounds. I guess it had much to do with you being the only guy other than Seth to tolerate me. But you got lucky and imprinted, while I was left in the dust again. I hated you for a while after that," Leah finished.
"There's still hope for you Leah," Jacob murmured. Her confession had caught him off-guard.
"No, Jake, it's not in the cards for me. I should feel lucky that I was able to experience any bit of love. I had the love of my life love me even if it was for a short amount of time; it is more than many others get to experience," Leah sadly said. "I was able to feel love and know how special it can be. After all these years, I've learned that is enough."
"But you never know Leah. You still have so many years ahead of you," Jacob said hoping to convince her.
"I have found the love of my life. Nothing can beat that," Leah gave him her small smile.
That was when she changed the subject. Jacob can't recall to what, but he can still see the longing in her eyes when he saw her look at Embry and his wife. He hadn't thought back on the conversation since it happened. It was still strange to remember Leah's confession. He never gave it much thought afterwards, but now he could see how Leah would mentally construct a relationship between them. They had been kindred spirits before he imprinted. Both were trying to get over heartache; trying to reconstruct their lives without the ones they loved. They both understood how it felt to be rejected, not to be enough. Another memory was coming back to the forefront of Jacob's mind. It was some days after Bella's wedding.
Knock! Knock!
The sound of the loud knocking had awoken him up from his deep sleep. Jacob was lying face down on his mattress; he gave a soft groan at the sound. Maybe if he ignored it the knocking would stop. KNOCK KNOCK! No such luck. Lifting himself up from his bed, he slowly made his way down to the front door. Not bothering to look to see who it could be, he pulled the door open roughly with a murderous glare on his face.
"Well hello sunshine," Leah Clearwater stood on his porch with a sarcastic smile in place. "What's got you all hot and bothered, pup?"
"What the hell do you want, Leah?" Jacob growled, turning away from her and heading to the kitchen. He didn't even bother with inviting her in; Leah knew exactly when he was not in the mood to be messed with. She would have come in whether he wanted or not.
"You still in a moping mood," Leah cackled as she teased him. Jacob ignored her as he looked through the cupboards to find something to eat. He hadn't had much of an appetite these past couple of days so he hadn't set foot in the kitchen in a while.
"Will you please not start? I'm not in the mood to hear what you have to say," Jacob snarled as he poured himself a bowl of cereal. When he took his first spoonful of it he discovered it was stale. With nothing better to eat he finished the bowl quickly.
"I know you wouldn't be in the mood to talk, so that's why I brought some friends along." With that statement Leah placed two large, brown paper bags on the small kitchen table. Jacob looked Leah suspiciously.
"Is that alcohol?" Jacob asked.
"No, it's juice boxes and some milk," Leah rolled her eyes. "Of course it's alcohol, you idiot."
"Leah, I can't drink that. My dad might get here any minute. If he finds that in the house he'll have aneurism," Jacob said.
"You do realize how late it is right; everyone is at the bonfire, including your father. They'll be there all night. No one has to know; it'll be our own little secret," Leah said.
"No," Jacob stated.
"Are you sure? I thought you could use some cheering up. It'll make everything feel better for a while," Leah commented. "Don't you want to forget about what Bella and her leech are doing on their honeymoon?" Jacob just glared at her.
"Fine," Jacob grabbed the first bottle from one of the bags. He began his way back to his room. Leah sent him a devilish smile. They spent the whole night getting drunk in his room.
"Remember when I stuffed that frog down your shirt when we were younger?" Leah was giggling from all the alcohol she drank. Jacob wasn't any better but the mention of this incident sobered him up a bit.
"No, but I do remember running after you and stuffing your face in puddle of mud," Jacob answered with a smile. Leah continued to snort. She lifted the bottle of brandy to her lips and pouted when she found it was empty.
"Oops, I drank it all," Leah chortled. Jacob burst out laughing.
"I still remember when Seth and I caught you and Sam getting busy in the back of his car," Jacob said.
"I bet you liked what you saw, Jake," Leah laughed.
"I would be lying if said I didn't," Jacob said slurring on some of his words. His comment was met with Leah's shock. The way her eyes widened made Jacob want to laugh again, but he realized that this was the first time he had seen her give him such expression. If he recalled correctly, no one had ever gotten Leah by surprise.
"Leah…" Jacob's voice had become hoarse, making it huskier than usual. Leah just continued to stare at him. She had finally closed her mouth and a strange look crossed her face.
"Yeah?" Leah whispered. Jacob detected a little bit of a slur. He could feel himself leaning in towards her. The room's lighting was dim, thanks to the lone lamp on his bedside table. Jacob could see that her eyes were glassy due to the alcohol, but he knew that tears were mixed in. The usual hard, cold stare had melted away from her eyes. The anguish and desolation was unhidden; this was a side of Leah no one had been allowed to see. And Jacob felt for her, he felt the pain that she tried so hard to bury within herself. Ridding herself of it had not been possible, not while she was still reminded of what she had lost. Jacob could feel his heartbeat speed up as he saw Leah's face come closer. Her breath on his face snapped him out of the daze the alcohol and her proximity had him in.
"Did we drink everything?" Jacob asked not pulling away. Leah stared at him for a few minutes before she suddenly started laughing. Jacob didn't understand the sound at first. He thought she had begun crying from the way she covered her face and her shoulders shook. It had been a while since he had heard Leah laugh so honestly.
"Yep," Leah mumbled. "We're so trashed."
It had been cool to hang out with Leah that night, well worth the hangover they got the next day. Fortunately, Leah was an expert at hiding liquor bottles, so Billy never found out about Jacob's cheering up. His time spent with Leah had been memorable. Why he ever took it for granted he will never know.
"Jake?" Seth's voice brought Jacob out of his thoughts. Jacob looked up from the chair he was sitting to see Seth coming in through the back door. "You alright?"
Jacob let out a tired sigh, "I don't know."
"It's strange seeing her like this, huh?" Seth commented as he sat down at the kitchen table, too. Jacob nodded as he looked down at his hands on the tabletop.
"Yes, it's heartbreaking," Jacob admitted. "I always assumed she would always continue fighting."
"She fought very hard; she could only do it for so long. But even though she's dying, I believe that she won her battle. She is much luckier than we ever were," Seth said.
"Luckier? She suffered so much," Jacob scoffed.
"She did, but she got out of this life. She made something of herself unlike the rest of us. She got lucky because she beat it, she never let herself become what the rest of us were destined to be. She suffered but she never let imprinting take her, she never wanted that life," Seth answered. "You never really knew how she was when Sam left her, and you never even knew how she was when you imprinted."
"What do you mean by that?" Jacob asked.
"You were too blinded by Bella at first and then by Nessie to ever see Leah. But then again, she acted like she couldn't stand the sight of you, so you're forgiven for that," Seth said.
"You're really losing me here, Seth," Jacob said.
"She loved you. She fell for you and she hated herself for that," Seth replied. "Didn't you ever wonder why she was so adamant about leaving? Why she decided to leave after you imprinted, but it never crossed her mind when the man who was the love of her life imprinted?"
"No," Jacob whispered. It couldn't be true; Leah had always made sure to show her dislike towards him when she first joined the pack. She made sure to show her hatred to all the members of the pack. Leah couldn't have loved him because she had told him that she had given up on it. She had said nothing good comes from love. But then again this conversation took place some time after Nessie had been born.
"It can't be true, I was only her Alpha, her friend," Jacob whispered.
"I'm sorry for telling you like this; Leah never wanted to tell you. She didn't want you to feel like you owed her something," Seth rambled on.
"I just- I just can't-," Jacob stuttered.
"I'll just leave you to think it over," Seth said as he stood up from the table. Jacob watched him begin to walk towards the staircase.
"Why, Seth, why now? Why tell me this now?" Jacob asked. Seth turned to see Jacob looking up at him with such a destroyed expression on his face.
"Because you had to know the reason behind her choice," Seth answered before running up the stairs. The kitchen was left in silence since Jacob couldn't form a coherent though.
There were just too many feelings running through his mind at once. Seth's answer didn't help matters; it only made Jacob even more confused. How long he stayed sitting alone at the kitchen table, Jacob didn't know. Seth's word kept on repeating over and over in his head. Could it mean that Leah was dying because of him? Did he finally destroy the invincible Leah Clearwater? It couldn't be; he wasn't good enough for that. Leah was too tough, too sure of herself, to let a meaningless boy like Jacob Black knock her down. But then again, she had been damaged and scarred so deep; at times she was so much more fragile than he liked to admit.
"Jake," Seth's voice broke through Jacob's inner ramblings.
"Yeah?" Jacob replied.
"It's Leah- she says- she says it's time," Seth whispered. Jacob almost suffered whiplash from how fast he looked up to meet Seth's gaze.
"What?!" Jacob choked out.
"She…she says she feels it coming," Seth replied dazedly. Jacob could see how this affected poor Seth. He stood up and made his way towards Leah's bedroom, Seth quick on his heels. Quietly, but swiftly, Jacob walked into the room only to see Leah lying as she was when he left her. She didn't look any different.
"Leah," Jacob whispered. Leah just smiled at him softly.
"Jacob," She replied. He walked up to the side of her bed and kneeled, taking her shriveled hand in his warm one. Seth stood back.
"Seth, could you leave us alone for a bit? I need to speak with Jacob alone," Leah's voice was soft. Seth nodded before stepping out and closing the door. The room was left in silence; Leah's breathing the only thing that was heard. Jacob didn't know what to say.
"Jacob," Leah whispered. Her gaze fixed itself on him. "You're the happiest you have ever been aren't you?"
Jacob didn't know what to say to that. Would he be rubbing salt in an open wound if he answered truthfully? "Where's this going Leah?"
"I just need to know. Just be honest," Leah answered.
"Then yes," Jacob answered. Leah smiled softly at his reply. "But what does it matter?"
"It matters so much, Jake," Leah responded. Jacob was becoming confused. "You'll be fine without me. That's all I ever needed."
Her last statement reminded Jacob of Seth's confession earlier. "I'm sorry Leah."
"What are you apologizing for, Jake?" Leah chuckled amusedly. Jacob shrugged not knowing how to respond.
"For what you have been through, I guess," Jacob blurted out.
"I've led a happy life. I was Beta, I got my respect, I traveled, and I fell in love. And I did it twice, how many people can say that? I couldn't have asked for more." Leah said.
"But you deserved so much more," Jacob ardently replied. He'd always known that. He'd always known that Leah was the only person who had to work for that wonderful life while everyone else was just handed it.
"Not all of us can get the world, Jake. Some of us need to be left behind in order for others to ride off into the sunset. I've accepted that." Leah reasoned, squeezing his hand. Hearing Leah say that broke Jacob's heart.
"Oh Leah."
"I wish you would have never known. This would have been so much easier." Leah lamented.
"I wish you would have told me. I could have fought the imprint. I could have given you the world." Jacob could feel that lump in his throat rising and his eyes fill with tears.
"But then you wouldn't be happy," Leah shook her head sadly and tightened her grip on his hand. "I don't think I could bear to have kept you from your happiness." Jake could hold back the tears any longer. Silence filled the room again as Leah took her time to gain energy to continue speaking.
"Jake, promise me just one thing," Leah said softly.
"Yeah, of course, anything," Jacob pulled her hand to his lips and placed a kiss on her knuckles.
"Promise me that you'll remember me."
"How can I ever forget you?" Jacob's voice cracked.
"You'll forget, I know," Leah looked at Jacob, who shook his head firmly.
"It's you Leah, it's not possible." Jacob's voice was strong.
"Well then it won't be hard for you to keep your promise," Leah's smile showed a hint of the younger Leah.
"We could have been great," Jacob whispered, his comment causing Leah's smile to become sad.
"Don't think like that, Jake. Don't regret anything, love Renesme as much as you did before Seth told you about me," Leah said. Jacob's face gave away his surprise at the last bit.
"Yeah I know Seth told you, he really doesn't know when he needs to keep his mouth shut, but he meant well. He never meant to hurt you," Leah explained.
"I know," Jacob swallowed the lump that arose in his throat. "I just wish we had a chance."
"Don't do this to yourself, you'll become like me and we don't want that. You're no good like that," Leah's soft chuckle caused her to cough. Jacob's grip on her hand tightened, but he let go momentarily to pour a glass of water.
"You need to rest Leah," Jacob said after she had sipped the water. Leah just shook her head.
"No, not enough time," Leah muttered.
"Just rest and tomorrow we'll continue our conversation," Jacob said. Leah shook her head again.
"No, Jake, I'm dying. This is it." The sheer bluntness of the comment was like a punch to the gut. Jacob didn't know whether to burst out in a fit of rage because she was giving up, or sob like a child because there was nothing he could do.
"Leah," Jacob's whisper came out hoarse. A tear broke free and slid down his russet cheek. He placed the hand he held on his cheek, placing it on the wet trail left by the tear. Leah watched him with such a sad expression.
"I never wanted you to see me like this," Leah whispered. "I wanted to forever be remembered as the Leah you believed to be invincible."
"You are invincible," Jacob replied causing Leah's lips to twitch.
"Thank you, Jacob. I have one more request," Leah said. Jacob nodded as if to encourage her. "Be happy, for me, be so very happy." Another tear fell, but Jacob just nodded, not trusting himself to speak.
"Can you call Seth?" Leah asked closing her eyes. Jacob understood what was happening, so he did as she asked. Before he reached the door, though, Seth was walking in. Jacob looked at Seth, who tried to give him a smile but it came out more of a grimace. Both men sat at her bedside, holding on tightly to Leah's hands. Neither one was ready to watch her go, to say goodbye. They stayed with her the entire night. And when Leah died that night, they found it a bit ironic that she waited until the break of dawn.