Description: Song fic, loosely based on the My Chemical Romance song, "Ghost Of You."
Pairing: Dean/Castiel.
Warnings: Wing!kink, character death, PWP.
A/N: This is heartbreaking, I won't lie. So if you don't want to cry, don't read.
Word Count: 3,960
If I died we'd be together.
I can't always just forget her,
But she could try.
There was a list of things Castiel would do - and had done - for Dean Winchester. This list consisted of tiny things, like trying to learn how to cook for the hunter when his ankle was shot and he couldn't walk right for two weeks. Among this laundry list, were even bigger things; killing his brothers - his family - just to keep Dean safe. Castiel had complained a few times, but now he got rewarded for these things; Dean would shower him with hugs, kisses - endless hours of sex, which the Angel never really realized was that good.
Even bigger on that list, which was the most important, he rebelled for the hunter; had fallen from Heaven just for Dean, for their love. Sam had thought it was from protecting them, and defying his Father - but Dean knew that it was because Castiel loved him, like the hunter loved the Angel.
But this one thing - which was watching Dean get himself and Sam killed - Castiel refused to do. He had spent a year with the hunter after several mishaps - scaring Dean away, and almost forcing him to do something he didn't want to do - and Castiel loved the hunter; wholeheartedly.
"Dean, please." Castiel pleaded one night while they were in Dean's motel room, watching as Dean shoved clothing into his duffel bag. Dean knew when the Angel was upset because his grace would act like an earthquake; shaking the entire room, making him feel uneasy.
"I have to do this, Castiel." Dean was short with the Angel as he walked around the room; gathering things and mumbling to himself as he went through a mental checklist. He knew what he and Sam were going to do - kill Lucifer - could result in death. He also understood that was the reason Castiel was so upset, and why the Angel was begging him to reconsider.
"Let someone else do this stupid task, please." Castiel sobbed without tears, his hands outstretched to Dean, eyes pleading with the hunter. Dean sighed and turned, his eyes falling on Castiel and swallowing hard at his expression. Other than Sam, Castiel was the only one who could break Dean down with just one look.
"I can't. I started this, Cas - I have to finish it, no matter what." Dean took a step toward the Angel, feeling a vibration hum through his body. Castiel's grace was in full-swing, and Dean wished more than anything the Angel would just calm down. "Castiel, please.." Dean whispered, dropping onto his knees in front of Castiel, his hands on either of the Angel's hips.
"You'll die, Dean. Going up against the Devil is one of the stupidest things I have ever heard." Castiel sucked in a deep breath, letting out slowly as he relaxed his grace; watching as Dean smirked slowly.
"Hey - it's a suicide mission, baby." Dean winked at Castiel, feeling the familiar thrum of his grace under his fingertips. "Okay, I'm sorry I didn't mean to say that - or call you baby, just please relax." Dean's words were rushed as he smoothed a hand over Castiel's trench coat and hummed softly in an effort to calm the Angel.
"How can I relax when you might die tomorrow? How am I supposed to be happy with you, tonight, if it could quite possibly be my last?" Castiel's voice rose as he spoke; he was angry with Dean, and the hunter knew it. But, deep down, Castiel was more worried than anything; worried that this might be his last night with Dean.
"Then you'll see me in Heaven, maybe.." Dean chuckled nervously as he gathered Castiel's hands in his own. "Cas, you have nothing to worry about. Sam and I have done this millions of times," Dean lifted a hand when he saw Castiel open his mouth to speak, "maybe not killing Lucifer, exactly. But we've killed other things like him; this? This is just the same shit we always fight, just bigger."
Castiel swallowed hard, fighting the urge to pull his hands from Dean's and send them somewhere far away from Michigan. That would work, for a while at least, until he let Dean out of his sight and the hunter found a way to Detroit. Instead, Castiel fell on top of Dean, pushing him onto the floor and laying on him, his head over Dean's heart.
"Promise me you'll come back." Castiel whispered, feeling Dean's arms wrap around his torso, his body being crushed against the hunter's. There was no answer from Dean for a few minutes, and Castiel closed his eyes, fingers finding their way to the hunter's hair, running through it.
"I promise," Dean choked out, fingers grabbing Castiel's trench coat as he placed a kiss on top of the Angel's head. Castiel knew it was a lie - how could you promise a thing like that? But it made him feel better, in a way, as he laid there; listening to Dean's heartbeat and committing it to memory.
"Hey, Cas?" Dean asked with a low chuckle, watching as Castiel pulled away from his chest, staring him in the eye. Sighing, Dean leaned in and brushed his lips against Castiel's, moving a hand to his hair and gripping the black locks gently. A small whine came from Castiel's chest as he pressed himself against Dean, pushing all thoughts of the hunter's insatiable fate from his mind.
"Lets just be happy for tonight," Dean whispered when he pulled away to breathe before his lips were locked on Castiel's once more, kissing him roughly. All Castiel could do was nod against the kiss and grip Dean's shoulder tightly, moving their hips together in a slow, rhythmic motion.
Dean breathed deeply through his nose as he shut his eyes, moving one hand through Castiel's hair as the other slipped under his trench coat. As Dean pressed his hand against Castiel's stomach, the Angel shuddered and pulled from the hunter, panting slightly.
Sitting up, Castiel straddled Dean's lap and started stripping his trench coat off slowly, letting it drop to the floor. Dean watched, swallowing hard as his hands moved along Castiel's legs, inching closer to his lap. Their eyes locked together and Castiel could see the worry in Dean's eyes, wondering if the hunter could see how terrified he was, in his own eyes.
Castiel pushed that thought from his mind as he unbuttoned his dress shirt, pulling it away and tossing it across the room. As he undressed, Castiel's eyes never left Dean's, searching them slowly as he worked on removing his slacks. Standing up, Castiel pulled his pants down, along with his boxers, and dropped them to the side, smiling softly down at Dean.
Dean laid back, eyes taking in every inch of Castiel's skin; skimming over the same things they did every night. The scars that Castiel had from various fights, to the tiny freckles that were speckled over his pale skin. In that moment, looking over Castiel's body, Dean suddenly felt like this was the last time he would get to see the Angel. He felt like he was seeing all of this - the scars, the freckles, Castiel's blue eyes - for the final time, and his heart actually, physically, hurt.
"What is it?" Castiel asked, cocking his head to the side as he stared down at Dean, who shook his head and smiled. Then the hunter was on his feet, removing his own clothing; his eyes locked on Castiel's, and the Angel swore he could see tears outlining his eyes.
Dean dropped the last article of his clothing - his boxers - onto the floor and wrapped his arms around Castiel's torso, pressing their bodies together. Castiel could feel how warm Dean was and sighed, running his hands along the hunter's spine slowly, as Dean's hands moved along his arms.
"I want to show you something," Castiel whispered as he wrenched himself away from Dean and turned him around; taking a few steps back. Dean stared at the Angel with a confused look and wide eyes. The lights flickered on and off, almost like a lightening strike, and Dean's jaw dropped at the image in front of him; Castiel was standing there, black wings outstretched from his shoulder blades.
"I… You've never.." Dean stuttered but Castiel understood, nodding as he smiled at the hunter and took a step. Taking Dean's hand in his own, Castiel guided it to one of his wings, placing it there as his hand traveled down Dean's forearm. Dean swallowed hard, gaping at the beauty of Castiel and his wings. As he stared, Dean moved his fingers along the soft down, feeling Castiel's wing vibrated from the touch, and listening to the Angel sigh.
"You're beautiful." Dean's voice was barely above a whisper as his eyes moved along the wings; they were large, raven black, and soft as could be. In all honesty, Dean felt lucky to even see Castiel's wings, let alone touch them. He'd only seen them once before, in a split second, but he'd never imagined they were as beautiful as Castiel himself.
"Beauty is only in the eyes of the beholder." Castiel whispered, moving a hand up and down Dean's side slowly, stroking his skin softly. Dean wrapped his fingers around Castiel's wing and shuddered, feeling his skin vibrate gently as Castiel touched him.
"Your grace," Dean moaned out, feeling his knees grow weak and shake slightly at the feel of Castiel's fingertips against his skin. Castiel chuckled and nodded, running his hand along Dean's chest until his fingers were gripping the hunter's chin.
"My grace projects from my vessel when I'm near something that makes me happy, or when I'm near someone with a pure heart." There was a silence after Castiel spoke, and he kept moving his hands along Dean's body, his grace humming in both of their bodies.
Dean leaned in, kissing Castiel softly as he pulled him away toward the bed, one hand wrapped around the Angel's hip, the other buried deep in the feathers of his wing. Castiel growled against Dean's lips, gently biting the lower one before the hunter fell onto the bed, pulling Castiel down onto his lap. As Castiel sat, he could feel Dean's cock pressing against him and he groaned, moving his hips against the hunter.
"Cas." Dean groaned out, pulling Castiel toward him until the Angel's head was on his shoulder. Swallowing hard, Dean placed kisses along Castiel's wings, feeling the Angel shudder against his body and smiling softly, feeling tears rim his eyes. He blinked the tears away and ran a hand down Castiel's body, slipping it under his ass.
The other hand went to Dean's lips and he sucked two fingers between them, getting them wet before pulling them out and moving them down. When he pressed the fingers against Castiel's opening, Dean could feel the Angel breathing against his shoulder and smiled softly, pushing the digits inside of Castiel.
Castiel hissed at the intrusion, feeling his muscles stretch around Dean's fingers, before he relaxed; moving his hips against the hunter's hand. Dean scissored his fingers inside of Castiel for a minute before pulling out, gripping the Angel's hips gently.
"Lube?" Dean asked as he pressed the head of his cock against Castiel, watching the Angel shake his head and bite his bottom lip. "Are you sure?" Dean asked, swallowing hard as he studied Castiel's eyes, watching him nod slowly. The hunter repeated the Angel's motion and pulled Castiel down onto his cock slowly, listening to Castiel moan out.
"I've got you," Dean whispered, wrapping his arms tightly around Castiel, allowing the Angel to slid down onto his cock. With every inch, Castiel shook and Dean felt the same vibration he did before; this time thrumming through his chest, causing him to sigh and close his eyes.
Castiel let himself adjust to Dean's cock before rocking his hips back and forth, then sliding himself up and down the length of Dean's shaft. Tilting his head back, Dean moaned and moved one hand to Castiel's wing, gripping it awkwardly and stroking the feathers, feeling the Angel shudder against him harder.
"Dean." Castiel breathed, wrapping his arms around Dean's neck as he started riding him faster; feeling his muscles relax as he slipped off of Dean, and tighten when he slid back down. Every time he slid down, Castiel could hear Dean make a strangled noise in the back of his throat, and felt the hunter's nails grazing over his wings.
The feeling sent shivers down Castiel's spine and he started riding Dean harder; listening to the noise their skin made as his ass slapped against Dean's thighs. Dean gripped Castiel's hip roughly while the other slide through the feathers of his wing; brushing his fingertips against the silky down.
When Castiel started riding him harder, Dean felt his entire body shake; his back arch as his balls tensed, signaling that he was getting closer to his orgasm. Swallowing hard, Dean moved one hand to Castiel's cock and stroked it slowly, thrusting up when he heard the Angel scream his name out.
"Harder…" Dean panted, feeling sweat roll down his body as he thrust into Castiel, matching the rhythm of the Angel's hips perfectly. One more thrust and Dean's vision went white; his back arched once more, and he almost screamed Castiel's name out, filling the Angel with his hot cum.
"Oh god," Castiel moaned out, bucking his hips against Dean's hand before he let loose; his body shuddering hard as he came on Dean's stomach, panting heavily. Their hips stopped moving as the orgasms subsided, and Dean dropped his hands from Castiel's wing and cock, wrapping them, instead, around the Angel's hips.
Dean took a deep breath and collapsed against the bed, hearing the springs squeak when Castiel fell beside him. Smiling, the hunter turned over; eyes locking on Castiel as he lifted a hand, brushing his fingertips along the Angel's wing, before they were in his hair.
"Be careful," Castiel panted out, turning his head to press a kiss to Dean's wrist as the hunter nodded and closed his eyes, drawing in a deep breath. He wouldn't make that promise to Castiel a second time; instead he kept his mouth shut and breathed in deeply, his hand falling to the bed in front of Castiel. Dean was fast asleep and Castiel laid there, watching the hunter sleep soundly, wondering what was in store for tomorrow.
At the end of the world or the last thing I see..
You are never coming home,
Never coming home.
Could I?
Should I?
And all the things that you never ever told me,
And all the smiles that are ever ever..
The next morning Dean woke up in bed alone; Castiel had left sometime in the night after Dean had fallen asleep. All that was left behind was a note, simply stating, "You promised me, Winchester - I don't care if you're wounded, just come back to me alive."
Dean smiled; it was a bittersweet gesture, and he folded the note neatly before getting out of bed. From the sunlight pouring through the windows, Dean guessed it was almost noon, and he sighed, pulling clothes on. When he was dressed, Dean kissed the note from Castiel, said a small prayer, and slipped it into his shirt pocket before grabbing his duffel bag.
He was out of the door in less than a minute, and at his car, with Sam right behind him, in less than five. Dean looked back at the motel, then at Sam, and smiled before climbing into the car and turning her on. The drive to Detroit was a short one - and Dean was dreading every minute.
As they drove down the road, neither Winchester brother said anything; they listened to the soft hum of a Metallica song on the radio, and the roar of the engine. The way Dean saw it was like this; Sam was his brother, his family - if he had anything to say to him, Sam already knew it. The kid already knew that Dean loved him more than the world, and would always protect him. And, Dean knew that Sam felt the same about him; so there was no need for words.
They pulled into the city, and Dean looked around; there were no cars, no people on the sidewalks - nothing. It was almost as if everyone had been wiped off the face of the earth, and Dean chuckled at the irony. Stopping in front of a building, Dean parked the car and turned it off, looking at Sam.
"Ready, little brother?" Dean chuckled, as he watched hesitation flash over Sam's eyes before he nodded. With a heavy sigh, Dean opened the car door and stepped out, in the exact moment Sam did. Once outside of the car, Dean looked at the building in front of them; it was old, abandoned, and had an eerie feel to it.
"Now or never." Sam muttered and Dean nodded, slipping the Colt into the back of his jeans. The two brothers walked into the building and up endless flights of stairs, until they were on the top floor - where Lucifer was.
The door opened and Sam and Dean were greeted by Lucifer, in his slowly deteriorating meat-suit, along with several demons. Dean swallowed hard and strode through the door, only to be thrown against the wall. Sam followed, getting a bit closer to Lucifer before he too was tossed across the room, pinned right next to his brother. They struggled against the invisible hold and Dean kept his eyes on Lucifer; watching him smirk as he stepped closer.
"Now, boys.." Lucifer started, shaking his head slowly as he stopped, inches from Dean and Sam. "You know it's not nice to crash a party if you weren't invited." That grin was back on Lucifer's face, and suddenly Dean felt nauseous. "But, I am so glad you're here! You can watch the world crumble right along with me."
A throaty, rough laughter filled the room and Dean shut his eyes, breathing in deeply as he prepared himself for what was to come. He had always known that coming here would mean he would die; even when they got the Colt, Dean still knew that Lucifer was going to kill them.
"You son of a—-" Dean started, but Lucifer twisted his wrist, sending Dean into a coughing fit, watching as blood spilled from his mouth and onto the floor. Feeling like his chest was on fire, Dean kept coughing up blood, spitting it onto the ground as he writhed against the Devil's hold.
"Now, the question is.." Lucifer tapped a finger to his bottom lip as his eyes flickered between the brothers. "Do I want to torture you, or just kill you?" The sound of laughter filled the Winchesters' ears and Dean spat more blood onto the floor.
"We're going to kill you, you son of a bitch.." Sam groaned as he tried to escape the hold Lucifer had on them. It was useless, Sam knew, but he had to try; he had to give it his all for Dean, for their dad, mom, and everyone they hadn't been able to save. Lucifer rolled his eyes and twisted his hand again, breaking Sam's neck with an audible snap, without even touching him.
"It's a shame, really," Lucifer sighed as he released Sam from the wall, watching his body slump onto the floor. "I really liked him." Shrugging, Lucifer turned to Dean, who was screaming Sam's name with wide eyes.
"He can't hear you, Dean," Lucifer started as he stepped forward again, running a finger down Dean's cheek. "Poor little Sammy is gone, and you couldn't protect him." Lucifer laughed again and stepped back, twisting his hand once more.
"I think killing you slowly is the best course of action. So, enjoy your last… oh, fifteen minutes." There was another chuckle before the sound of wind gushing around the room before Dean fell to the floor, coughing and writhing in pain. As he laid on the floor, Dean's life flashed before his eyes; the first image being, of course, Castiel smiling at him. His life with Castiel played like a movie in his mind; the good times, the bad, and the nights where the two of them made love for hours.
"Ca— Cas.." Dean whimpered out, head falling back onto the wood floor just before Castiel appeared in the room, kneeling beside Dean's broken body. Taking the hunter in his arms, Castiel ran a hand along the side of his face, feeling tears - actual - tears roll down his face.
Ever..
Get the feeling that you're never
All alone and I remember now.
At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies,
She dies..
"Dean, you promised.. Stay with me, please." Castiel sobbed, holding Dean's body tightly to his own, listening to the hunter cough; watching as blood splattered his shirt. Then Dean reached a hand up, horrible trembling fingers moving to Castiel's face, and the hunter smiled brokenly.
"Castiel," Dean coughed out, sending more blood onto the Angel's shirt, as his hand fell from his cheek, and onto Castiel's shoulder. "I l-l-lo-love yo—-" Dean fell silent, his eyes losing all their life as his body went limp in Castiel's arms, hand falling from the Angel's shoulder.
"No! Dean, please! No!" Castiel cried out, hunching over Dean's body as he let the tears flow; let them fall onto Dean's motionless body. Rocking back and forth, Castiel screamed, begged for God to bring Dean back, and every time he would pull away; eyes moving down as if, by some miracle, Dean would come back to life.
And when Dean's eyes went un-blinking; his body still limp, and his heart still, Castiel placed a kiss to the hunter's bloody lips, blinking tears away. Pulling back an inch, Castiel shut his eyes, tears falling and collecting on Dean's face.
"I love you, Dean Winchester." Castiel's voice was low, broken, and he let Dean's body fall to the floor as he scrambled back against the wall. There was blood all over Dean and himself, but Castiel didn't care about that; didn't care that he had blood on his lips. In that moment, Castiel didn't care about anything, couldn't feel anything, as he stared at Dean's lifeless body.
Castiel had felt when Dean's soul left his vessel, and had felt the life drain from his body. As he stared at the love of his life, laying there, broken and unmoving, Castiel pulled his knees to his chest and shook. This was the first time, since he'd fallen and gotten his grace back, that Castiel felt human. The first time he cried and felt real tears pouring from his eyes, and the first time he'd truly felt heartbroken.