AN: This is what happens when my hyper side takes over. It's basically just me making fun of various things. As the title implies, everyone is pretty darn OOC. I did not mean to offend anybody by writing this! Keep in mind that this is a parody. It's humor. Lighten up, people! Oh, and I don't own anything. Have a nice day!
Once upon a time Sesshomaru had a fangirl. One fateful day, she decided to take a walk in the woods only to discover Sesshomaru's house in a clearing! Dun dun dun! And so begins OOC on Crack, an Inuyasha fanfiction proudly brought to you by Juicy Juice! 100 juice for 100 kids! (You sillies! I'm not really sponsored by Juicy Juice. Don't sue me!)
Fangirl: Anybody home?
Sesshomaru: What are you doing in my house?
Fangirl: Lyk OMG ur Sesshy. 3 !!!!
Sesshomaru: CHATSPEAK HURTS MY EYES!!!
Fangirl: Oh no I hurt Sesshy! He must want to kill me! I must run away!
Sesshomaru: What kind of a fangirl ARE you?
Fangirl: Ruuuunnnn! Into his house!
Sesshomaru: …Whatever.
Fangirl: Look, a bathtub! I have to be careful not to fall in!
Sesshomaru: Why are all your sentences exclamations?
Fangirl: That's not true! I asked a question at the beginning…I mean OH CRAP! He found me!
Sesshomaru: Yes. I did.
Fangirl: I fell in the bathtub! OH NO!
Sesshomaru: I can see that…
Fangirl: HELP ME!!! I'M GOING TO DROWN!!!
Jaken: My lord, do you think I would look hot with my shirt off?
Sesshomaru: Where did you get that idea, Jaken?
Jaken: I was looking at pr0n…I mean, I DON'T KNOW!! Really!
Sesshomaru: Anyway, you would look even uglier than you do now…which is REAAALLY ugly.
Jaken: ;--;
Sesshomaru: What do you mean, "semicolon underscore semicolon?"
Fangirl: HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN ME? I'M DYING HERE!!!
Sesshomaru: As a matter of fact, I had forgotten. What are you doing in my bathtub?
Fangirl: NEVER MIND JUST GET ME OUT!!!
Miroku: Will you bear my children?
Jaken: What was that? Oh, you weren't talking to me…
Fangirl: I DON'T CARE JUST GET ME OUT!!!
Sango: What are you doing, Miroku?
Miroku: Never mind, Sango can bear my children.
Fangirl: BUT I – AAUUURRGGH!!!
Sesshomaru: Oh. The piranhas ate her.
Miroku: You mean that's a piranha tank?
Sesshomaru: Well, it's actually supposed to be a bathtub, but yes. Which reminds me…JAKEN GET THE HUMAN PLUNGER!!! The drain gets clogged with fangirl guts. Happens all the time.
Jaken: I got the plunger! HEY MY LORD WATCH THIS! I'm too sexy for my shirt-
Sesshomaru: JAKEN PUT YOUR SHIRT ON!!! NOW!!!
Jaken: ;--;
Sesshomaru: I will ignore that comment. Now plunge the piranha tank!
Inuyasha: Hey guys, what's going on? I brought some crack!
Kagome: Actually, those are flaming hot Cheetos…
Inuyasha: NO IT'S CRACK! CRACK I TELL YA!!!!
(AN: I WILL NOW INSERT AN AUTHOR'S NOTE IN A RANDOM PLACE AND YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHY!!! And don't ask my why Sesshomaru's house appeared in the middle of some woods. Because I don't know. Also, the underscore wouldn't show up so I used hyphens instead.)
Kagome: Don't mind her, she's high off Chee – I mean crack.
Kikyo: Love is hate, hate is love.
Kagome: What's she doing?
Director: We're making a season of fillers until the company decides to make a new episode! It's called Learning Opposites with Kikyo!
Kagome: Oh…
Director: Now Sesshomaru must walk to the music for the opening video.
Sesshomaru: Why me? THE MUSIC HURTS MY EARS!!! Almost as much as chatspeak hurts my eyes!!
Director: It's because you have the most fangirls. Now go or we'll have to use a clip of Jaken strip-dancing.
Sesshomaru: FINE!!! Anything but that…
Kikyo: Fine is not fine, not fine is fine.
Miroku: Hey Kikyo, will you bear my – OW!
Sango: MIROKU!!!
Kagome: Inuyasha, SIT!
Inuyasha: OOMF! What was that for?!
Kagome: I dunno, I just felt like it.
Kikyo: Red is green, green is red.
Kagome: Hey, those are Christmas colors!
Inuyasha: Don't mention Christmas, Kagome!
Kagome: Why not?
Inuyasha: It's a religious holiday! It's politically incorrect!
Kagome: I never knew materialism was a religion…
Director: Me neither.
Inuyasha: Whatever. I'll go watch my favorite videos on YouTube now.
Kagome: You do that.
Inuyasha: Hey, WTF! They removed all the best videos!
Sesshomaru: YouTube likes to go on random deleting sprees sometimes.
Jaken: My lord! You have returned from your making the opening video!
Sesshomaru: As I was saying, they delete stuff all the time.
Inuyasha: But none of it was copyrighted!
Kagome: That's kinda the point.
Inuyasha: Hey, look at this comment I found. "If you don't copy this infinity times, the ghost of Sesshomaru's fangirl will come kill you at 3 AM tonight." Now, who would be dumb enough to believe that?
Kagome: Beats me…
Kikyo: Healing is destroying, destroying is healing.
Jaken: If you're done using the computer, Inuyasha, can I use it for internet pr0n…I MEAN RESEARCH!!! And other useful things like that. Yes. Because I like being useful. Research is great, don't you agree?
Inuyasha: Whatever. Knock yourself out.
Miroku: I think I'll join Jaken - OUCH!
Sango: And where do you think you're going?
Miroku: Augh, nowhere.
Kikyo: Killing is fun, fun is killing.
Bankotsu: Those aren't opposites, they're synonyms!
Sesshomaru: What are all you people doing in my bathroom anyway?
Jaken: I'm looking at por – NOTHING!!!
Miroku: I'm making out with Sango!
Sango: Not anymore you aren't.
Miroku: Aww…
Kagome: Yeah, there's like nine of us. Ten if you count the fangirl. A lot if you count the piranhas.
Director: It's because your fangirls will be more likely to watch the fillers if they all take place in your bathroom. That way we'll make more money!
Sesshomaru: Why don't you make a clip of a fangirl getting eaten by piranhas? I'm sure our ratings will go sky-high.
Director: Ooh, good idea! I'll remember to do that!
Sesshomaru: …
Kagome: Inuyasha, will you help me practice my archery?
Inuyasha: Umm…
Kagome: Great! Now hold still. I'm going to shoot that apple off your head!
Inuyasha: NO! What are you doing?!!
Kagome: Stop moving, Inuyasha. Sit!
Inuyasha: UUUMMMFFF.
Kagome: Here I go!
Arrow: Whoooooossshhh - TWANG!!!
Inuyasha: OOOWWWW!!!! There go my balls…
Kagome: Oops. I'd better try again.
Inuyasha: Don't.
Unbeknownst to our heroes, another "Sesshy" fangirl was approaching her love's house. She heard the commotion from within and decided to enter veeeerrry stealthily…
Fangirl 2: OWWW!! Dang, I tripped.
Sango: What was that?
Fangirl 2: OH EMM GEE! It's Sesshy!
Sesshomaru: You got here just in time! My piranhas are getting hungry again.
Fangirl 2: Wha?
Sesshomaru: Never mind, just get in the bathtub.
Fangirl 2: Umm, you want me to take a bath? Should I…take my clothes off?
Jaken: YES!!! We can be shirtless together!
Sesshomaru: Ignore him. Just go!
Fangirl 2: Okay! I'm in the bathtub now! It sure is deep. What do I do now?
Sesshomaru: Just stay there. You'll find out in a minute.
Fangirl 2: Hey! SOMETHING BIT ME!!!
Sesshomaru: Are you getting this, director?
Director: Yup. Sure am! I'll use this for the first filler episode! A special one-hour piranha feeding marathon!
Fangirl 2: OWW!!! GAAUUUGH! SAVE ME!!
Director: Don't feel bad, Sesshomaru's getting paid for this. That makes your death worthwhile!
Fangirl 2: Well, as long it's for Sesshy…AAUUUGGH!!! I'm dead.
Sesshomaru: Jaken, human plunger.
Jaken: Yes my lord!
Inuyasha: Where did my crack go?
Kagome: Oh, I gave it to the piranhas for a snack.
Sesshomaru: What?! My piranhas are going to die of obesity!
Kagome: It's better than dying of starvation. Two fangirls a day isn't enough!
Sesshomaru: Overeating is unhealthy!
Kagome: Anorexia is unhealthy!
Sesshomaru: I can't help that there's nobody fat in anime!
Inuyasha: MY CRACK!!! IT'S GONE!!!!!
Kagome: Let's go back to the modern world and get some then!
Jaken: I like the sound of that!
Miroku: Back off! I'm supposed to be the perv of this show!
Inuyasha: Yeah, let's go, Kagome.
Kagome: Bye everybody!
Kikyo: Everybody is nobody, nobody is everybody.
Sesshomaru: This must be the best script ever.
Director: Thank you!
Sesshomaru: …You wouldn't know sarcasm if it hit you in the face, would you?
Director: Nope!:D
Sesshomaru: What do you mean "colon D?"
Director: Stop living in the feudal era! You should learn chatspeak!
Sesshomaru: But I do live in the feudal era.
Jaken: So? It's fun to talk in chatspeak! i lyk 2 c pr0n on teh net!!1!
Sesshomaru: MY EYES!!!!
After filming was finished for the day, many things happened. For one thing, the ghost of Sesshomaru's fangirl came and killed Inuyasha at 3 AM that night. Also, the first episode of Inuyasha fillers aired. It was quite a success – at least fifty fangirls dove into Sesshomaru's bathtub the next day and were immediately eaten. The piranhas all died mysteriously. Sesshomaru suspected it was overeating. Kagome suspected tainted spinach. Inuyasha filler one was put up on YouTube by many dedicated fans, only to be taken down instantly. Inuyasha got high off "crack," Kagome kept practicing her archery, Jaken performed a strip-dance, Kikyo spewed opposites, Sesshomaru got some new piranhas, and (AN: THE AUTHOR KEPT LEAVING RANDOM NOTES!!). And so, they all lived happily ever after. (THE END!)