Kylo Ren's Therapist

Remember Gaia, they did not ask you to deal with Kylo Ren. You were summoned by the First Order. Some big huge honor bestowed upon you that others had held prior. According to the file, there were four "others" one of which left after having a panic attack in the middle of the mess hall. "He needs to discuss his problems and you, Gaia Inre are the most qualified." Also, the only person left that Kylo Ren did not attempt to hack into pieces or manipulate using the force to do what he wanted. Not yet.

She blew a loose curls off her forehead and nodded. The next thing that Gaia knew, she sat down in a small room in a high backed black leather chair facing the Master of Ren. He sat hunched forward with his elbows on his knees staring at her in silence. Not to mention that he kept the mask on. Gaia attempts to break the silence by asking him if there is anything that he wants to discuss. He breathes a sigh which sounds strange almost robotic coming from the voice modulator within the mask. "I would rather not be here," he says clasping both hands. He leans against them still staring.

Gaia clicks her pen with her thumb then draws a small stick figure with a frown and tiny pencil dots for eyes on a blank page of her notepad. "Why don't you want to be in this session?"

"I have more important issues to deal with."

"Such as?"

His eyes narrow. "Why are you asking me these questions?"

"I am just doing my job," she replies looking up at him. General Hux informed her that Kylo was a little bit strange and unpredictable. It was imperative that she find the root to his problem. At the moment, the situation was like pulling teeth.

"What does he want me to tell you?" Kylo emphasized the word he as he sat up straightening his posture.

Gaia felt something uneasy in the pit of her stomach. She tried to uncross her right leg only to find that it would not move. Her hands remained positioned one on top of the other covering over the notebook obscuring the drawing. Something hovers inches above her head. It prods into her brain, sharp nails tearing through the gray matter. She winces feeling like something is cutting into the left and right sides of her skull. Kylo repeats his question. Her lips part telling him that Hux wants Kylo to be free of his pain.

"Pain? I am not in any pain. All of this. All of what I have become is glorious." He then rose from the couch continuing to pull from her mind. Memory after memory knotted together like scarves emerging from a magician's hat. Each memory slips from the tiny fissures that he perforated with Gaia's mind.

Kylo says, "You sit all alone in your chambers crying over unrequited love. You possess as much if not more pain than I do." Just like that his tether is ripped away. He lowers his arms down to his sides. " I don't need this therapy session. You do." He turned on one heal then strolled out of the room in a hurry his robes swaying. The door slid open out of his way as Kylo entered the hall. A number of Storm troopers walking past looking in his direction whispering amongst one another.

Gaia hugged herself with both arms staring at a spot on the floor trembling. The idea of having to go through this a week later made her feel ill, but she did it.

This time she was more prepared. "This is about you not me, Ren."

Kylo Ren bristled crossing both arms over his chest. "I don't want to talk about this or anything else right now."

"Why not?"

"Something is obviously, bothering you or else you would not be so defensive."

He stares at her then says, "No! I will not continue this conversation

He stares in silence at her. "No, I will not talk about this or anything."

"Fine." She scribbles in her notes that Kylo Ren refuses to speak. He only raises the wall between them. The same thing happens for the next two sessions.

Then one day, he walked in and removed his helmet setting it on the cushion to her right. Beneath was the face of a pale dark haired man with a spark of innocence in his dark brown eyes. "I want to talk," he says looking down to the left. His dark hair falling into his eyes in a slight wave,

"My mom sent me away when I was younger."

"Why?"

"She wanted me to learn from my Uncle Luke." He looked her in the eyes and continued speaking. "He tried to help me. He couldn't. The darkness had taken over by then."

Gaia thought about his bloodline and whom he descended from. He was the grandson of Queen Padme Amidala and Anakin Skywalker aka Darth Vader. The son of General Leia Organa and Han Solo. Also, the nephew of the legendary Luke Skywalker. What Kylo had done to those children haunted her when she learned the details from his therapy file. His nickname being the Jedi Killer, she learned walking the halls her first night on the base. Two storm troopers laughing at some inside joke poking fun at an instance where he destroyed a control panel. They said that General Hux's face turned red as beat as he ranted and raved about the budget.

"I just want to live up to his name."

"Do you feel like you have fallen short?"

Kylo paused looking up at her. Through the pores of her skin, she feels the gradual shift of energy. He nods his head yes. The corners of his lips turned downward. As long as he's not bearing teeth or using the force, then everything is time or at least that's what she tells herself.

"Do you feel overwhelmed by your family name and the expectation of it?"

"I have always felt torn between the darkness and the light. The call of both pulling me apart bit by bit."

"Does the darkness always win?"

He breaks eyes contact, wiping away tears on to his sleeve. "Yes." Kylo's voice cracks as he says, "It always wins." Gaia jots down that he is delusional and suffering from a form of psychosis. She underlines the sentence twice.

"That is why she sent me away." The tone of his voice so low that she barely hears him.

"Are you referring to your mother?"

Tears fall down his cheeks as he nods his head.

Their next session consists of him venting about the lack of respect that he receives from Lord Commander Snoke and General Hux. Kylo has the reputation of throwing tantrums and destroying everything that he got his hands on when things did not go his way. His file includes the number of instances that occurred on the base and in his ship. "They don't really see me. Hux always outranks me despite the fact that he does not possess my power."

"Why do you think that?" Gaia asks him.

His brow furrows as he glares at her. "Your questions. Do you really care or are you just doing your job? Come to think of it…How did you get this job?"

Gaia cocks her head to the right side. "We are supposed to be talking about you not me." He raises his right hand tipping it to the side Fingers curl inwards as he grips an invisible object holding it within his fist. Her body jerks forward paralyzed by an unseen source.

"I am always in control. Now tell me how you were hired for this positon."

"The First Order summoned me to sit here and talk to you. I'm not even qualified to be here." Gaia Inre, the daughter of two professors, one of which (her father) was dead set on informing the masses about the history of the past. He spoke of what split the galaxy into two parts light and dark. There was a battle that ensued where the dark Empire fell. For a period of time there was peace or at least that's what everyone assumed given that the Siths had all but disappeared. Gaia studied human behavior. She wanted to know about the human mind and all of its psychosis. Just a few weeks shy of obtaining her doctorate, Gaia was sent a telegram with a first order seal.

"Interesting. Yet, here you are."

Kylo Ren slowly released the hold uncurling each finger one by one. Once she is released, she stretches her legs moving something that rubs against the floor. At her feet, the notepad is face down on the floor at her feet along with the pen just an inch or so, to the left of it.

"Interesting. Yet here you are."

Gaia shutters gripping the arms of the chair trying as hard to catch her breath. "Why do you keep doing that to me?" He sits back with his legs open and both arms crossed. "It's rude and invasive. Stop doing that!"

Kylo shrugs his shoulders then says, "If this is what you are here for then accept it."

Gaia bends down to pick up the notebook and then pen. "This session is over." The idea of having to continue this session makes her skin crawl. Enough is enough. Gaia moves towards the door then stops in mid step about a foot away. What the hell is going on? She hears footsteps over the linoleum growing louder and louder until, he appears on her left side. Kylo is only a few inches taller than her, her neck cranes neck slightly to look up at him.

"Don't leave." He encircles her halfway until, they come face to face. "Stay." Gaia feels his hands rubbing her arms as the force releases her. She takes a step back. A smile spreads across his lips revealing pearly white teeth with soft lines crinkling at the corners of his eyes. A lamb awaiting the slaughter is what she is. Her heart pounding louder and louder like the beating of a drum. She swallows with a gulp taking another step back.

Hyperaware of the fact that he is male, she feels the hair rising on the back of her neck. All that she can think of is the fact that he stands between her and the door. "You are afraid of me. You think that I will hurt you."

Again with the mind reading.

"I am not even thinking of that right now. It did cross my mind a few times, but I am focused on other matters."

"Then what do you want from me."

Kylo explains that he wants to continue their session. "No our time is up. I have other things to do," Gaia explained.

He reaches his hand down to his side. The notebook slips from her grip. It lands on the floor with a loud slap. Never did she expect him to pull out a flower with pinkish red petals and a bright green stem. He presented it to her. Against her better judgement, she accepts it. Their eyes meet.

"I found that for you."

"Why?"

A crimson hue blossoms over his pale face. Although, she should have seen this coming the sight confuses her. Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren likes her. He likes her? This would be one hell of a story to tell. Not that anyone would believe her. Kylo takes the time to explain himself. "I wanted to give this to you to apologize. I was rude in our previous session. That was unfair to you." Since when do people send each other flowers are not in a relationship?

Gaia decides to just go along with this. Hopefully, this will be the way that Gaia can get out of that room and away from him. "Thank you," she says.

"I feel drawn to you," he says reaching over to cup her cheeks in his hands. Closer and closer, he fills the space between them.

"I am your therapist. You may have feelings for me..." Her statement was cut off by his lips touching hers. They feel smooth, gentle at first right before he pulls her hard against him. Both hands grip her forearms as he continues. She stiffens trying not to show how frightened she is. He detaches himself then wraps both arms around her. Gaia loosely hugs him around his waist. The smell of coppery blood mixed with the soft lingering scent of the flower fills her nose. He presses hid chin against her cheek.

Later in the evening, Gaia had a conversation with General Hux who crossed her path. She was on her way back to her room. He inquired about Kylo Ren's session. There was only so much that she could tell him. "How is he," he asks.

"Honestly, I don't think that I can do this."

"Why not?"

"He has feelings for me that go way beyond our sessions."

Hux does not even address her concern, instead asks if there was any improvement.

"Yes, but what he really needs is time to..."

He waves his hand then says, "Appease him until, your sessions end. I believe that you have three more." She nods her head in agreement watching him pace back and forth. He brings up the idea of extending the sessions as if that will help him in anyway. It won't. All that idea will do is give him more time to manipulate her with his powers or worse.

Gaia leans back against her chair to listen to Ren vent. She envisions him kissing her again. His lips feel smooth against hers. That scent of copper in her nose. The warmth of his body against hers wrapping around her.

"I'm not supposed to be afraid, but I am."

"What are you afraid of?"

"Uncertainty. Not knowing if I am living up to my grandfather's legacy.

"That must be very difficult."

"It is." He turned his attention to the helmet on the cushion next to him then laughs. "You have no idea. Not to mention the fact that sometimes I feel like I made the wrong decision."

"Why do you feel that way?"

Ren decides not to answer. Instead, he asks about a present that he left for her. His voice sounds a little bit light hearted. She notices a twinkle in his eye. The necklace that he left her made of black lanyard tied in knots strung with tiny gold and silver stars. Gaia went to her room dazed after the kiss. She plopped down on the bed then looked around the room. Her gaze fell on the door, particularly the door knob. On it was a necklace whose metal stars flickered with the light that reflected from each tiny star.

"It was really pretty. Thank you."

He averted his eyes as that crimson appeared on his face. "I made it for you."

"Why," Gaia asked.

"I really like you." His voice sounds softer than usual, a little bit deeper in tone. "You treat me like a human being not a monster."

"You are human." Somewhat.

"I am Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren. A leader of the first order. There is nothing human about those titles. I know that everyone fears me. Rightfully so, I have taken lives and tortured more people than I can count."

"How do you feel about that?"

"Nothing. I feel absolutely nothing. They meant nothing to me. The only damn thing that matters right now is my goal to complete my grandpa's vision. And the only person that matters here is you."

Back in her chamber's Gaia, paces back and forth. She reminds herself that this is not uncommon. Patients develop feelings and a connection with their therapists. She expected this to happen at least once in her career. However, Kylo's interest in her makes her uncomfortable. All Gaia thinks of is what he may do to her if she rejects him. She skimmed through his entire file rereading the notes. What he did to those padwans was calculated and cold. Not even his own mother could make sense of what happened. She banished him without a second thought. His father so, distraught that he left.

Gaia laid down intending to only rest her eyes. An hour or so later, she stirs opening her eyes a voice whispers her name. Who the hell is calling her name? Everything appears blurry as she turns on her back staring up at the ceiling as it comes into focus. Out of the corner of her eye, she spies a figure standing near the door. It moves closer and closer until, she finds herself looking up at Kylo Ren who looks down at her. Shit!

"How did you get in here?"

"I have my ways," Kylo Ren says raised his right shoulder partially shrugging.

"Why are you in my room?"

"I just wanted to talk."

Talk? What the hell did he want to talk about? Also, isn't it customary to knock?

Now normally, she would have refused and sent him away. Yet, part of her thought about the instances written in his file describing what happens when he does not get his way. Hux said to just appease him. How far she would go was up to her. If he tried anything, she would not stand for it. Force or no force. That would not stop her from kicking his ass.

She lifts herself up, rubbing what little sleep she had out of her eyes. Gaia moves herself over leaving a little bit of space for him to sit down. Kylo sits sideways with his arms wrapped around himself. He explained that sometimes he walks the halls when he can't sleep which is usually every night. Tonight he wandered this corridor trying to tire himself out. All that he could hear was the various sounds coming from each room. The moaning, the sighing and crying. That is until, he reached her door.

Her room was the only quiet one. How this translated into her giving him an invitation to her room was to be determined.

Kylo wore a dark hooded robe over dark colored pajamas that seemed a little bit snug. More than likely, these were what he wore all day underneath his robes. He hunched his shoulders to appear smaller, wrapping both arms around himself. She felt the hair standing on the back of her neck as the Force brushed her skin. Ren pulled down his hood revealing his dark brown nearly jet black hair that curled slightly at the ends. It's weird how both of his parents have light brown hair yet, he does not. Most likely, Kylo Ren dyes his hair darker which only serves to make his skin appear paler almost ghostly. The lack of sunshine on this planet made everyone have a sallow complexion. Even Gaia noticed how her own golden brown skin looked a little paler than usual.

He was the one who broke the silence first. "Why is it every time that I see you, you look more beautiful than the last?" Gaia wonders what she looks like at the moment. A white line of drool from the corner of her lip that snakes down to the curve of her jaw. Her curls are probably sticking up all over her head. A reddish tinge to her dark brown eyes. Yeah, she looks beautiful alright.

Sometime during the conversation they both fell asleep. Gaia tries to remember if he asked her if it was okay or did he just pass out. Whatever happened brought her to this moment where she glanced down at the arm across her waist. An arm covered in superficial silver cuts which explained why he felt the need to dress in a garment that kept him completely covered from the neck down. Kylo made sure not to mark up his face. She figured that it was the one part that he wanted to keep intact in case he must meet the enemy or more importantly, his parents.

After a moment of silence that passes, he asks to lie down next to her.

He just wants to sleep.

Gaia did not feel like arguing so, she agrees.