Detective inspector Lestrade walked up to 221B Baker Sreet and rang the doorbell. "Oh, good, I was hoping you'd come by. I've been bored out of my mind these past few weeks. What is it this time? Serial killings? A murder with no witnesses? A murder with no weapon in sight?"
"Actually, none of the above."
"What then?"
"We have need of your investigative skills. We have a man who is believed to be a witness to a crime, but he won't say anything."
"Well ask another witness! That's just logic."
"There isn't another!"
"I see. You know, I'm perfectly capable of solving the crime without going through a witness."
"Yes, but we want to know about this man. He seems very peculiar. He has no identification of any kind, he's not in any databases, school, work, or police. No one recognizes him. It seems he doesn't exist."
"This could be more interesting than I thought. Take me to him."
"I knew you couldn't resist."
•••
Sherlock was brought into the police examining room. Inside was a man wearing a brown pinstripe suit and red converse. His dark brown hair was sticking up like some sort of wild animal. He looked about thirty. "Right then, I'll leave you to your business," Lestrade said, closing the door as he left.
"Hello!" the man said cheerily, shaking his hand. "You must be Sherlock Holmes. I've heard a lot about you."
"Oh?"
"Word is 'round here, you're quite a genius."
"They said you wouldn't talk."
"These are the first words I've spoken all day. Well, to you lot."
"Your first words are to praise me. I'm flattered."
"I do my best."
"The police told me you may have been a witness to a crime?" The man's face froze. He said nothing. "All right then, I'll try a different question. Who are you?"
"Oh, come on. You're Sherlock Holmes!"
"And what is that supposed to mean?" "You're the greatest detective ever. You can read a whole man's life just by looking at him. Why should I bother to tell you? Prove your skills, Mr. Holmes."