I guess I decided to use all those years of watching Law and Order: SVU for something interesting. Heh. Basically everything it says in the title.
This is just something I made for fun. It's anthro so a few of you might not be interested, but it's still very entertaining. I've created three trials, and a surprise trial at the end, hehe… Enjoy!
(A huge crowd of animals is seen in a courtroom. There are three stands up front; at the first one sits Scar, with two court officers on both his sides, in front of him is a lion in a suit with a gray mane; his lawyer. At the second one sits Zira, with a beeping shock-cuff on her ankle, (A/N Don't know what those are actually called), and another lion in a suit with a brown mane; her lawyer. And at the third one sit Shenzi, Banzai and Ed, not exactly looking very comfortable since they're all smashed together on the same seat, with cuffs on their wrists. By their side is a girl hyena in a suit with a skirt; their lawyer.)
Shenzi: (who is between her two friends and looking annoyed) Is it too much to ask for a couple extra chairs?! (Double doors at the back of the courtroom suddenly open, revealing a lion with a yellow mane in a black robe, walking down the aisle)
Rhino Bailiff: (from the TV series; now an ex-judge 'cause somebody finally put their foot down…or paw, or whatever) All rise for the honorable judge Al W. Aysguilty! (Everybody stands up until he reaches his seat)
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: You may be seated. (Everybody sits back down. The judge clears throat as he reads some files on his desk) Scar, you are charged with the crimes of Murder 1, Conspiracy to Murder, and Attempted Rape. How do you plead? (The lion layer with the grey mane stands up)
Scar's lawyer: Not guilty by false charges.
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: Zira, you are charged with Conspiracy to Murder, Child Neglect, Child Endangerment, and…Prostitution? (Shenzi, Banzai and Ed snicker)
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: (pounding his gavel) Quiet in my courtroom! (They settle down) How do you plead? (The lion with the brown mane also rises to his feet)
Zira's lawyer: Also not guilty by means of temporary insanity. (sneaks a grin back at Zira, who half-heartedly waves)
Shenzi and Banzai: Slut.
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: (pointing his gavel at them) Quiet or I'll hold you three in contempt! (The trio roll their eyes but don't say a word) Now then, Shenzi Marie Predatora Veldetta Jacquelina Hyena, Banzai and Edward (Ed grimaces at his "proper" name, but it goes unseen), the three of you are each charged with two counts of Attempted Murder, one count of Accomplice to Murder, and Trespassing onto Prideland Property, before the law was altered. How do you plead? (The girl hyena stands)
Shenzi, Banzai and Ed's lawyer: Also not guilty on the count that this court is racist against hyenas! …And one count of insanity for the male client who can't keep his tongue in his mouth. (The courtroom snickers) Now knock that off! You all know what I meant! Your honor, this only proves my point.
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: (once again pounding the gavel) Order now! Do you all want three hyenas back on the streets?! (The court immediately settles after that inquiry. The judge grumbles under his breath) Let's get this over with. (Gestures to a court lawyer.) The judge recognizes Attorney L. Ioness. (The lawyer, who is a lioness in a tan skirt and suit, rises and steps in front of the jury)
Attorney L. Ioness: Thank you, your honor. Males and Females of the jury, I am here to prove today that the accused you see before you, are dangerous to society and must be put away for good. For my first motion, I call Scar to the stand. (Scar walks up to the stand) Why do you think you are being charged with such heinous crimes, Mr. Scar?
Scar: (Lazily inspecting his claws) Some plainly cannot appreciate visionaries when they see them.
Lioness Lawyer: (skeptically raising an eyebrow) Visionaries?
Scar: Correct.
Attorney L. Ioness: And just what kind of visions did you have for the monarchial system of Priderock?
Scar: Well I suppose among many kings I desired peace among the kingdom. But unlike many kings before myself, I attempted something scores of other animals would call impossible.
Attorney L. Ioness: And what might that have been?
Scar: Why, to bury the hatchet between lion and hyena of course. (Ed sticks his tongue out at him and blows a raspberry his way. The judge pounds his gavel)
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: Save the raspberries for the fruit stand! (Ed folds his arms and recoils)
Attorney L. Ioness: Well I think we can safely say how that particular plan of yours worked out.
Scar's lawyer: Objection!
Attorney L. Ioness: Withdrawn. What else did you have in mind while you were ruling the kingdom?
Scar: Well it's rather hard for me to remember for the most part, due to much of the time I was in grief over my brother's death.
Attorney L. Ioness: Were you now? (looks in thought for a moment) Let's talk about Mufasa. Did you have… fond emotions for the king?
Scar: In a way only brothers can.
Attorney L. Ioness: Some would say you were…jealous of your brother. Jealous enough, to do anything to obtain the throne.
Scar: What would I be jealous of? To many, it may have seemed as though he had the perfect life, when in reality it was I who had everything; I was the prince, all of the power with none of the responsibility. I could mingle with the commoners much as I wanted without the annoyances of learning new proclamations of the kingdom.
Attorney L. Ioness: By proclamations, did you mean laws?
Scar's lawyer: Objection! Your honor, she's badgering my client.
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: Try to keep it in line, Miss L.
Attorney L. Ioness: Will do your honor. (looks at Scar) Where you angry when Mufasa became king?
Scar: More worried than angry; it was obvious I was the one with brains, while he…was not so fortunate. Of course his strength knew no bounds but the old saying does advise "Brains surpasses Brawn."
Attorney L. Ioness: What about when your nephew was born? What were your feelings on that occasion?
Scar: Why I was happy for my brother of course; he had his very own son who would one day take his place in The Great Circle of Life.
Attorney L. Ioness: Really? If this was truly the case, why didn't you attend your own nephew's presentation?
Scar's lawyer: Your honor!
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: Overruled. Answer the question Mr. Scar.
Scar: …Afraid I was so wound up in my own festivity, I simply forgot.
Attorney L. Ioness: Hm. Well enough beating around the bush; I'm going to move onto some questions involving your four accomplices. And I'm sure, if you're innocent, you won't have any trouble responding. (This catches Shenzi, Banzai, Ed, and Zira's attention, who divert their gaze towards Scar. He seems nearly contented as he devilishly smiles and calmly replies)
Scar: Of course not. (Shenzi, Banzai and Ed glare at him. Zira appears nervous)
Attorney L. Ioness: (turns to face the court) Nearly 6 years ago the prince, now king, Simba and lioness cub, now queen, Nala, were reported to have been pursued throughout the Elephant Graveyard by three certain hyenas. (Temporarily diverts her gaze to the hyena trio, whose eyes are shifting around. The courtroom is thrown into a series of muffled conversations and whispers, until the judge pounds his gavel yet again. L. Ioness casually turns her gaze back to Scar) Some were say you were behind this. Any contradiction to the event? (Scar shifts his attention to the trio; Shenzi and Banzai glower menacingly at him while Ed can be heard growling)
Scar: I was merely enjoying myself on my own private area of priderock, when news suddenly came up that my nephew and a friend of his had narrowly escaped death. Of course I was taken aback by the announcement, since I had specifically told him not to venture there in the first place.
Attorney L. Ioness: Were you? Well now I'm certainly relieved. Did you do…anything to cheer him up, after that day? Take him out for a walk of some sort?
Scar: …I shall admit I escorted him to a gorge.
Attorney L. Ioness: A gorge? For what reason Mr. Scar?
Scar: Where better place could one practice his roar tactics? A good king must have a frightfully impressive roar.
Attorney L. Ioness: And what about the wildebeest stampede? (turns her gaze to the hyena trio as she says the next line) It's been said that either it was your doing, or your idea, tell me Scar; do you have any idea at all as to how the stampede was started? (Scar looks at Shenzi, Banzai and Ed again; this time they are all growling at him)
Scar: Absolutely not. (Again the court starts whispering to each other in muffled conversations, the judge pounds his gavel to silence it once more. L. Ioness casually walks back to her desk and picks up a file)
Attorney L. Ioness: It says here you were the last to be seen with Mufasa and Simba, before Mufasa's death at the bottom of the gorge and Simba's "mysterious" disappearance. (This time Scar glares at Shenzi, Banzai and Ed; the trio merely shift their gaze away)
Scar: Well I was simply observing my nephew's attempts at his roaring, when I noticed a strange rumbling sound in the distance. Inquiringly shifting my gaze towards the reverberation's origin-
Attorney L. Ioness: In English please.
Scar: I looked in the direction the noise was coming from, and saw an enormous wildebeest stampede headed our way.
Attorney L. Ioness: And what was your reaction to that?
Scar: Well the first thing that crossed my mind was my nephew's safety of course; so I immediately ran to get Mufasa.
Attorney L. Ioness: Why did you not simply help? You did say you were watching Simba.
Scar: My intellect was filled with so many things at once my thinking must've been impaired for a moment. Thankfully though the adrenaline raging in my blood aided me to get to Mufasa faster; I informed him of the danger and we both raced to the gorge as fast as we could.
Attorney L. Ioness: And I'm right to assume Mufasa tries to save Simba, correct? (Scar nods. L. Ioness turns to the court) I think we all know what happened after that so I'll spare us the details and move on. (The courtroom nods, although some can be seen silently weeping in memory of Mufasa's death. Zira and the trio roll their eyes at the sap-happy moment.) What can you tell us about what happened after the stampede?
Scar: I went in search of my nephew but upon seeing my brother's freshly departed corpse, I couldn't bring myself to look any longer. And sadly I made my way back to priderock to inform the others.
Attorney L. Ioness: Let's move on to a few years into your reign; would you say you were a good king? (A random animal stands in the courtroom)
Random Animal: No. (The entire courtroom laughs, even the judge. Shenzi, Banzai and Ed can be seen laughing as well while Zira growls at the interrupter. L. Ioness covers her mouth to stifle a chuckle, as the judge finally calms down and half-heartedly pounds the gavel once more. Everybody calms down.)
Scar: I wouldn't say I was perfect; but how many kings actually are?
Attorney L. Ioness: What about your subjects? What do you feel they thought of you?
Scar: Well I could certainly tell I was no Mufasa. But then again I was better than nothing, wasn't I?
Different Random Animal: No. (The court bursts into laughter once more. The judge, again, has his fun until he bangs his gavel against his desk.)
Attorney L. Ioness: I'd like to talk to you about a particular lioness if you don't mind. Nala, wasn't it? You seemed to take quite an interest in her.
Scar's lawyer: Now that's highly uncalled for!
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: (putting his paw to his face in exhaustion) Just get to the point Miss L.
Attorney L. Ioness: Do you admit to any uncivil acts towards Miss Nala?
Scar: …No. (L. Ioness smirks)
Attorney L. Ioness: Nothing further. (Scar returns to his seat. The lioness lawyer turns her gaze to the judge)
Attorney L. Ioness: Your honor if it pleases the court, I'd like to bring a witness in.
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: Well it's only the first session…what the hey?
Attorney L. Ioness: Defense calls, Queen Nala to the stand! (The double doors to the back of the courtroom open, revealing Nala staring down to the floor. Scar appears apprehensive. Without a word the queen walks up to the stand.) Now I know this is painful but, as much as you can, tell us exactly what happened.
Shenzi and Banzai: (to Zira) Bet you're eager to hear this. (She growls at them)
Nala: (after taking a silent, deep breath) It was sometime into Scar's reign; things weren't exactly looking their best. I decided to pay a visit to Scar's cave to have a talk with him and see if it could improve anything. …It didn't.
Scar's lawyer: Your honor I'd like to approach the bench for a moment. (The judge nods and Scar's lawyer and L. Ioness walk up to the stand.) I ask your permission, after the witness has finished giving her "statement", I'd like to have my turn with her, if you wouldn't mind.
Attorney L. Ioness: I don't think so. You're going to twist her words until what you want her to say comes right out.
Scar's lawyer: I see no reason not to inquiry her on a few events. Do you, your honor? (The judge appears in thought for awhile, before he reluctantly sighs)
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: Finish what you need to ask Miss L. Just, make as less painful as possible.
Attorney L. Ioness: (depressingly looking down at the floor) Will do your honor. (She returns to the stand while Scar's lawyer goes to his side, he pats his client on the back as if to say "don't worry, I've got it handled".) What exactly happened after you ventured inside Scar's cave, Miss Nala?
Nala: …It, started out as a typical visit. I-I tried talking to him but, his behavior seemed abnormal, even for him.
Attorney L. Ioness: (gently) What happened then?
Nala: (after taking another deep breath) I…tried to stop him but, he pinned me down and…tried to… (trails off as she bites her lower lip; the jury appears sympathetic. L. Ioness decides she's had enough.)
Attorney L. Ioness: Nothing further.
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: The judge recognizes whoever the heck is Scar's lawyer.
Scar's lawyer: My name is-
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: Nobody cares. (Scar's lawyer walks up to Nala.)
Scar's lawyer: So, what was your relationship with your king, if I may ask?
Nala: Relationship? I think I can safely say there wasn't one.
Scar's lawyer: But many would say you were often seen with the king, do you deny it?
Nala: Well, no but that was because we lived in the same-
Scar's lawyer: In that case, would you deny it if someone said you often spoke about the king?
Nala: No, but it was mostly about his lack to control the kingdom and-
Scar's lawyer: And would you deny it if it was said that you willingly went to speak to the king, in a hurry?
Nala: No but that was because the Pridelands were starving and-
Scar's lawyer: That is all. (Walks back to his client again.)
Shenzi: This has gotta be her first time in court. (Banzai and Ed nod)
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: Does the defense have anything else to ask the accused?
Attorney L. Ioness: No, your honor.
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: Very well. (slams his gavel on the desk) We await the results of the first offender's trial in recess, then proceed to the next trial. (pounds it again)
A few minutes later…
Attorney L. Ioness: Defense calls Zira to the stand. (Zira casually walks up) What were your feelings on Simba being the new king?
Zira: Well to be honest a bit offended; Scar had barely began his reign and here comes a greenhorn who, without so much as a breath, swipes it all away from him.
Attorney L. Ioness: Were you angry about Scar's dethronement?
Zira: …Fairly.
Attorney L. Ioness: Let's move onto your children. I understand you currently have three? (Zira nods) How often do you look after them?
Zira: As sole caretaker for them, I often try to do many things for my children. Because I love them and I want to help them. Sometimes however, such as when I'm out…seeking employment, it's essential to leave them in order to attend…an interview. (in a firm voice) I'm sure all single parents have the similar problem. (A few animals in the court nod to each other) But luckily though my oldest is now old enough to watch over his siblings and he does a rather decent job of it. (under her breath) Because if he doesn't he knows very well what will happen.
Attorney L. Ioness: Tell me their names.
Zira: Nuka, Vitani, and Kovu; the baby of the three.
Attorney L. Ioness: Many people say you play favorites; they think you love your youngest son more than the other two. How do you respond to that?
Zira: All mothers love their children.
Attorney L. Ioness: But you just tend to love some of yours more than your others, don't you?
Zira's lawyer: Objection!
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: Miss L., please.
Attorney L. Ioness: Withdrawn. What about your eldest one? Nuka, was it? I do believe his name means "stinky", am I right? (Ed giggles, Shenzi and Banzai try to quiet him down but the judge has already heard it and slams his gavel angrily down on the stand)
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: Bailiff I want this hyena in a gag and a straitjacket!
A few minutes later…
(Ed is seen beside Shenzi and Banzai, except now with a white straitjacket and tight gag snugly wrapped around him)
Shenzi and Banzai: Tried to warn ya.
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: Continue Miss L.
Attorney L. Ioness: (looks at Zira) Well, does it mean "stinky" or doesn't it?
Zira: (under her breath) Yes.
Attorney L. Ioness: What was that?
Zira: YES! BUT WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!
Attorney L. Ioness: You claim you love all your children, but if I'm not mistaken the term "stinky" is often taken in low regards. And unless you're the type with a sense of humor, and we can all clearly see you're not, I doubt you had loving intentions for your son upon giving him the name.
Zira: …It was the first time I'd given birth and I wasn't exactly happy about it! I let my emotions get in the way of my better judgment.
Attorney L. Ioness: You seemed awfully determined to win the kingdom back Zira. In fact it has been proven that you and all the other Outlander lionesses are training the cubs to be fierce warriors.
Zira: Your point?
Attorney L. Ioness: Are there any limits you set for them? Such as letting them stop when they reach a certain maximum of their body limit? At least tell me you make 'em wear knee pads and elbow pads.
Zira: All children are given a set of tasks to do set by their parents. What the parent chooses to do for their child is strictly their business and others have no say in the matter…(under her breath) unless I say they aren't being trained hard enough.
Attorney L. Ioness: So some mother could tell her kid to climb oh, let's say…twenty boulders…and back again. There would be nothing anybody could do about it?
Zira: Indeed not.
Attorney L. Ioness: And you don't find that a bit dangerous?
Zira: Not at all.
Attorney L. Ioness: (looks a bit annoyed, but keeps her cool) Moving on, what about your fury over the news of Simba's daughter? A new, and just as undeserving, heir to the throne am I right?
Zira: Well I will admit I was surprised; I didn't expect them to have a cub quite so soon.
Attorney L. Ioness: But you were furious weren't you? Over the whole fact that your king was no longer ruling and this so-called "wannabe" swoops in and takes his place.
Zira: (under her breath) Entirely.
Attorney L. Ioness: What was that?
Zira: (slightly louder but more annoyed) Entirely.
Attorney L. Ioness: Please speak up so the court can hear you properly.
Zira: ENTIRELY! THE RIGHTFUL HEIR TO PRIDEROCK IS STRIPPED OF HIS TITLE IN MERE SECONDS, AND NO ONE SO MUCH HAS A "NAY" TO SPEAK! YOU CALL MY SO-CALLED "CRIMES" AN INJUSTICE?! PERHAPS YOU SHOULD PAY MORE ATTENTION TO WHAT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!
Attorney L. Ioness: (has been cringing the whole time Zira was yelling but starts to regain her composure…and smooth her fur and suit back down) Well, I think we all now clearly have an idea of your say in those last two matters; therefore I'll be moving on to the more…personal charges. Now then, it's been said that you've been seen in a rather…scandalous part of town, late at night. Some witnesses even claim to have seen you walking into motel rooms with various…males, (looking disgusted) some not even lions, and emerging sometime later with a purse-full of money. Do you deny it?
Zira: …Well I am a single mother dear; I have to find some way to put food on the table.
Attorney L. Ioness: Can't you just read the job listings in the newspaper instead?
Zira: …I'm allergic to newsprint.
Attorney L. Ioness: Of course you are. How often do you go prostituting Miss Zira?
Zira: Why does that matter?
Attorney L. Ioness: Have you ever been impregnated by one of your…clients?
Zira: Are you asking if I brought any "unintended" children into my family?!
Attorney L. Ioness: Honestly yes.
Zira: …Just the oldest.
Attorney L. Ioness: (smiling with satisfaction) One last question Zira: do you have any idea who your children's fathers are? (Zira is silent. L. Ioness smirks as she turns away) Nothing further your honor. (Zira's lawyer walks up to the stand)
Zira's lawyer: You must've been terribly miserable after the news of Scar being overthrown. Could this possibly be the reason of your unintended actions? The conspiracy, the neglect, the endangerment …the prostitution (silently) which was put at a discount for me.
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: What was that?
Zira's lawyer: Um, nothing! (looks at his client) Your answer Miss Zira?
Zira: My mind must've been sent astray by all the adrenaline pounding through my system.
Banzai: (whispering to Shenzi) That's not the only thing that pounds in her. (Ed, who heard the joke, snickers along with the two of them. The judge pounds his gavel.)
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: I'm more than prepared to put the both of you in straitjackets as well!
Zira's lawyer: (turning to the courtroom) My fellow citizens of the kingdom, Zira is not a danger to this community; prostituting is a non-offensive crime. So other than that, she has no other record of previous offenses to show. (looks at L. Ioness) Unless Miss L. can provide us with some new information?
Attorney L. Ioness: (begrudgingly) No.
Zira's lawyer: (looking back at Zira) Is it also true right after Scar was overthrown, you and all the rest of his loyal followers, were banished to the Outlands?
Zira: Yes.
Zira's lawyer: And I would I be correct in asking the Outlands to a lion is just as miserable as the Elephant Graveyard is to a hyena?
Zira: Utterly. Little food; even less water.
Zira's lawyer: Nothing further.
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: Do you have anything else to say, Miss L.? (Attorney L. Ioness silently shakes her head) Then I hereby proclaim the results of this trial will also be awaited in a second recess, then we shall hear the final trial.
A few minutes later…
Attorney L. Ioness: Defense calls Shenzi Marie Predatora Veldetta Jacquelina Hyena, Banzai, and Edward to the stand. (The trio groan in relief as they get up from the chair they were forced to share through one entire trialing and another, before going up to a wider seat on the stand) I'll start with the more minor charges: it's reported that you three, along with several of your hyena friends, sneak into the Pridelands and poach off the herds. This is trespassing and it does have serious consequences.
Shenzi: Not since they outlawed the death penalty.
Attorney L. Ioness: (under her breath) Yeah. Thanks a lot third party candidate. (clears throat before walking over to her desk and picking up a notepad) But continuing, during the past year, it's been reported that you three have been able to sneak off with (reads a list on the notepad) Two zebras, one wildebeest, two antelope, and several meerkats. One of which, wanted to press charges which would give you three a third charge of attempted murder, but sadly his claim was denied. Thanks to you all, Mr. (reads the notepad) Uncle Max, will be in a tail brace for the rest of his life!
Shenzi: (Playing with the fringe in front of her face) Can we get on with this?
Attorney L. Ioness: Ok then, let's move on to something we're all wondering; what exactly happened on the day now know as "The Grave Incident"? (Banzai opens his mouth to speak, before Shenzi puts her paw in front of his mouth)
Shenzi: I'll handle this. We were just lyin' around our skull, mindin' our own business, when all of a sudden two cubs and some big-mouthed bird come from outta nowhere; since us three, along with every other hyena in the graveyard (under her breath) you'd have to be blind not to see it, are starvin' to the bone we figured this was just a break.
Attorney L. Ioness: Many say that little event was planned. But I'll get to that after my next question: Did you truly try to kill and eat the king's majordomo, the future king's intended bride, and the future king?
Shenzi: Yes. (L. Ioness seems surprised at her response; as does the rest of the court, including Scar and Zira)
Attorney L. Ioness: Well um…ok then. (clears throat) Like I mentioned before, did you all and Scar plan the whole event?
Shenzi: Lemme tell it like this: HE came to US and asked if we was interested in a quick bite. As you all probably know, the Elephant Graveyard ain't exactly an all-you-can-eat buffet. So, we said "Yeah."
Attorney L. Ioness: So the three of you worked for Scar?
Shenzi: (while Banzai and Ed nod) Mm-hmm.
Attorney L. Ioness: (still a bit taken aback)…Did you do dirty work for him?
Shenzi: Yep.
Attorney L. Ioness: (raising an eyebrow) Well then, what about the stampede? Can you tell us anything about that? (The three exchange glances)
Shenzi: (as Banzai and Ed shake their heads) Nothin' you'd be interested in.
Attorney L. Ioness: Oh I beg to differ; do tell.
Shenzi: Well, if you must know… (L. Ioness, along with the entire court excluding Scar and Zira who are looking for a chance to get out of there, lean in expectantly) We saw some meerkat and warthog walkin' by from the inside of the graveyard; not trespassin', and they had that kinda touristy, out-of-towner look, know what I'm sayin'? Anyway, they wonder right to the wildebeest grazin' area and…well let's just say the pig had kind of a gas problem that didn't agree with him, or the herd.
Attorney L. Ioness: (looking a bit annoyed) I see. Most though would say the three of you started it.
Shenzi: Well I don't really see how that could be possible. I mean after all, we ain't allowed in the Pridelands.
Attorney L. Ioness: Somehow I don't think that stops you.
Shenzi, Banzai and Ed's lawyer: Objection!
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: Miss L., I can't exactly count how many times you've stepped out of line, but I do know it's a lot. One more slip up and I'll replace you with a new attorney! (All the attorneys in the courtroom that just got out of college look eager)
Banzai: (whispering to Shenzi) Good thing we were last to go. (She nods)
Attorney L. Ioness: Sorry your honor, withdrawn. Moving onto the second charge of attempted murder, some say it was partially your doing of the prince's "mysterious" disappearance. Can you tell us anything about that? (Shenzi and Ed both steal a look at Banzai)
Shenzi: Not really. But we do imagine it was a pretty "prickly" situation for him. (She and Ed giggle, while Banzai frowns)
Attorney L. Ioness: (raising an eyebrow in suspicion) What about Scar's leadership skills as a king? Did he ever need your kind of help during that?
Shenzi: Not much. We were mainly just used to quiet down any riots started by the lionesses.
Banzai: And "gorge" ourselves on all the wildebeest meat.
Shenzi: (growling at him) Shut it!
Attorney L. Ioness: Well then with all that being said, I'd just like to ask you one more question.
Shenzi: I'm listening.
Attorney L. Ioness: Not you. (points to Ed) Him.
Shenzi and Banzai: Him?!
Everybody in the courtroom: Him?!
Banzai: Aw c'mon, how come I don't have any fans?! (looking at Shenzi, then Ed) She gets 'em and he gets 'em, but what do I get? Squat!
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: Bailiff I would like another straitjacket for that one.
Banzai: (quickly) I'll be cool!
Attorney L. Ioness: (noticing Ed still has his straitjacket and gag on) Um, could somebody…?
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: Bailiff please removed the offender's gag. But leave the straitjacket on! I don't trust that look in his eye… (The rhino bailiff walks up to Ed and jerks the gag off. Ed temporarily gasps for air…before giggling for no apparent reason whatsoever…then winking at his attorney, who blushes and looks away)
Attorney L. Ioness: Thank you, your honor. Mr. Edward, would you say you're as…dim, as everybody says you are? (Ed merely smiles and tilts his head at an angle. Everybody in the courtroom exchanges clueless glances. L. Ioness smiles and merely continues) Of course you can't; you can't talk can you? At least…that's what everyone says. Tell me though, what do you think of this entire trial?
Ed: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! (Ed's laughter is apparently contagious, because everyone in the courtroom bursts out laughing as well. The judge raises an eyebrow at the lioness lawyer, who giggles before looking up at him.)
Attorney L. Ioness: Sorry your honor; I wanted to take a more humorous leave.
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: You have nothing left to say? (she shakes her head) In that case, all those accused rise. (Scar, Zira, and Shenzi, Banzai and Ed stand up. The judge turns his attention to the jury) Has the jury reached a verdict? (An animal of the jury stands up)
Animal Juror: We have your honor.
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: On the accounts of Murder 1, Conspiracy to Murder, and Attempted Rape for Mr. Scar, how do you find?
Jury: Guilty.
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: On the accounts of Conspiracy to Murder, Child Neglect, Child Endangerment, and Prostitution for Miss Zira, how do you find?
Jury: Guilty.
Zira: Now surely your honor, (narrowing her eyes seductively) there must be something we can work out.
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: Not interested. (looks back at the jury) On the accounts of Attempted Murder, Accomplice to Murder, and Trespassing onto Prideland Property, before the law was altered for Miss Shenzi, Mr. Banzai, and Mr. Edward, how do you find?
Jury: Guilty.
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: Very well then. I hereby sentence Scar, Banzai and Edward, to resign at a Male-Only prison. Scar will be serving 30 years to life for his crimes without the possibility of parole. Banzai and Edward will serve 25 to 40 years, since they never directly killed someone with their bare hands, with possible time off for good behavior. (under his breath) Which I doubt.
Banzai: Me too. (Ed nods. In the background, all the lawyers can be seen looking very defeated. Except for Shenzi, Banzai and Ed's lawyer, who is crying. She runs up to Ed and embraces him tightly as the judge finishes the sentencing.)
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: And I sentence Zira and Shenzi to a Female-Only prison. Zira will be serving 28 to 50 years, and all three of her children will be placed into foster care. Shenzi will be serving 23 to 35 years, with the possibility of parole. Case dismissed. (Pounds gavel, some guards come to take them away. Banzai's eyes suspiciously look around before he looks at Ed)
Banzai: (in a low voice so now one hears) Didja bring the file just in case? (Ed parts from their lawyer, then smiles at him and opens his mouth, revealing a large, metal nail file. Banzai cackles mischievously, then winks at Shenzi, who sees the file as well and smirks)
Shenzi, Banzai and Ed's Lawyer: I'll pretend I didn't see that. (Stares at Ed for a moment, before wrapping her arms around him again and crying once more) I really tried; you know I did right?! If the plan doesn't work I'll wait for you!!
Banzai: First he gets fans, NOW HE'S GETTIN' CHICKS TOO?!
Shenzi: (irritated) What's the matter? Bored with me already?
Banzai: Uh, I mean-
Shenzi: Forget it. (The guards escort them all out of the courtroom)
Judge Al W. Aysguilty: Next case. (pounds gavel again, two guards come in with a meerkat in front of them. The meerkat stops in front of the judge) Timon Berkowitz, you stand before this court charged with Grand Theft Auto-
Timon: I swear your honor! I didn't know a Volkswagen Beetle was a CAR!
Yep, the last "offender" was Timon! I'll admit it was long but (in my opinion) funny! Review!
Oh and P.S., I had to re-post this, since apparently they've been getting a little strict around here lately: no songs, no script text, etc. So I had to delete this and edit it before they removed it. And then take all the "scripty" stuff out of the text, and I hate that; I mean what's a script story without the script? It's all one big bland-worded mess. -frowns-