NOTE: This story takes place after PW:Justice for All and contains mild spoilers for the first case in part 3. This fic is from a completely different universe than my Turnabout Confessions series.

Larry Butz was born with a "Kick Me" sign on his ass that only women could see. It should have been another better-to-have-loved-and-lost-then-never-loved-at-all relationship, but not this time. Kaley was supposed to be different. She was cute, perky, and even treated him to dinner every now and then. It was the best four months he had ever had with a woman and all he had to do in return was give her and all 100 of her ceramic kitty-cats a place to live and respect her decision to stay pure on her wedding day. Yep, those were wonderful times. So wonderful that it convinced Cupid to strike an arrow through Larry's head and drive him to propose to her when they had their weekly midnight dinner at Denny's. That was until he saw Kaley's car in the parking lot with her jumping on some guy's cock like a pogo stick. At least that's what Phoenix understood when Larry called him during his lunch break.

"Phoenix. I need your help."

"Ok, who dumped you this time." Phoenix laughed good-natured-ly.

"Come on, I'm serious here." Larry's voice was getting more and more frantic by the second. "Kaley's going to kill me."

"Calm down, Larry. What happened?"

"You remember how she redecorated my apartment with all those stupid ceramic cats of hers?"

"And Maya dubbed it, "The Kitty-Witty Palace"." Looking back at it, Phoenix could almost find some humor with how his assistant was fawning over them when they came to visit. They weren't even those nice, expensive ones you saw in the Good Housekeeping ads, but cutesy nightmares plundered from the darkest corners of every third-rate rummage sale Kaley could get find.

Maya's ears perked up. "The Kitty-Witty Palace? Ask him how it's doing."

"Let's just say that it's now dutsy-wusty."

"Just tell her it was an accident, I'm sure she'll understand."

"Does smashing them with an aluminum baseball bat because you found out she was screwing some guy count as an accident?"

"In your case, no..." Kaley's high-pitched scream of pure horror could be heard through the entire office.

"Kaley, honey." Larry slowly backed away, still holding the phone with one hand and trying to hide the bat with the other. "I'm just as surprised as you are. Damn invisible Gnomes." Her only answer was a swift blow to the side of Larry's head.