a/n sorry ive been gone a while my compurter with all my writing on it is dead so an update for 19 years later will be a while... a long while. in the meantime i wrote this on my ipad one night. its not my greatest story but i hope it will tide you over until i can get my files extracted. happy reading and dont forget to review. it makes me write faster.
It's hard for me to explain what happened, when I decided to go back to Hogwarts for my seventh year I never imagined I would be going alone. Harry and Ron decided they didn't need to finish their schooling. But I knew I did if I wanted a career as a healer. So as I boarded the train that chilly September morning I vaugely noticed him entering a few students behind me, his hair plastered to his forehead from the rain, his white dress shirt nearly transparent and clinging to his shoulders.
I can't believe they let him come back after all he's done. I thought to myself.
As he walked by the compartment I'd chosen his silver eyes bored into mine. I noticed he was alone and he looked slightly lost and sad. I didn't feel the least bit sad about that either. As far as I was concerned he deserved much worse. I shrunk back into the cushioned seat and prayed he would keep walking and not stop to torment me,and thank the gods he kept walking. The train ride was lonely without my friends. I wondered what they were doing at that moment whether or not they were thinking of me as well, Of course not. my subconscious replied. They are out having fun. Harry and Ginny were to be married on Halloween. I'd gotten permission to leave that weekend and attend the wedding. Ginny had decided not to return to school either, I was one of the few people who knew she was six weeks pregnant they had already planned the wedding before the pregnancy was confirmed. Everyone in the family was over the top happy about it, so why do I feel so left out? Maybe I forgot to mention that Ron and I had called it quits shortly after the war was won. We decided it was just not the right time. Well he decided more than I did. Ron was dating some girl from the nearby muggle village named Emily. I am trying very hard not to resent him for it but truthfully I think my heart is broken. I was brought back from my depressing thoughts by a Ravenclaw girl wearing a head girl badge telling everyone we would be arriving at Hogwarts in five minutes and we should change. Five minutes? I thought, Where did the time go? I shrugged out of my clothes and slipped on my school clothes, inhaling the familiar scent of Hogwarts. The train stopped shortly after and I grabbed my bag, leaving my trunk to be delivered to my room, which I suspected would be empty this year as well. Well I always wanted more privacy. I laughed. This was going to be miserable.
I spotted him again on the way to the carriages. He was wearing the same shirt, just slightly less damp. His hair was a long tangled mess and I had lost a lot of its platinum brilliance. I had never seen him looking this disheveled before. He climbed into an empty carriage and just for shits and giggles I followed him . His eyes widened as I took a seat across from him.
"no one is sitting here right?" I expected some snyde comment, but received a small shake of his head. How could someone change SO dramatically in one summer? Now I felt uncomfortable on what to say next. This was not the usual Malfoy behavior. I was not prepared for it. So like a complete fool I asked"how was your summer Malfoy?" he looked at me as if a bird had landed on my head.
Stupid question Hermione.
"sorry, I guess I don't know what to say,so I just won't say anything" I told him. His lips twitched slightly at the corners like he was enjoying making me uncomfortable with his strange silence. I noticed how thin he was under a shirt that probably once fit well. It now hung on him. Loose in all the wrong places. He still said nothing as the carriage pulled away. We were alone in it, something I had not anticipated when I got in. The uncomfortable silence continued as we ascended up the hill. When we were near the top, he spoke in a soft melodic voice
"how was your Summer Granger?" my mouth hung open like a fool. I had not expected it. Civility. "F..f..fine." I finally sputtered out. And not knowing what else to say I smiled at him. His eyes grew dark and widened before he smiled back at least I think it was a smile it's kind of hard to tell with him. It could have been a smirk. But I'm going to go with smile.
He got out first and held the carriage door open for me before offering his hand to help me down. As my hand touched his I felt an unfamiliar jolt of electricity, I wondered if he had done it on purpose, pretend to be nice to the Mudblood, then jolt her when she's least expecting it I pulled my hand away and he looked, dare I say hurt. No that can't be right can it? No of course not. My subconscious chimed in. Whatever he was up to I would find out. Damn I sounded like Harry now, but he did turn out to be right about him didn't he?
"something wrong Granger?" he asked rubbing his hand absentmindedly just as I was. I doubted that he would have taken a shock just to hurt me as well. Of course if he was mentally unstable he might... Anyway, I climbed the rest of the way out on my own and he just stared at me with a look of utter confusion. " nothing is wrong Draco" I replied mockingly as I reached up and grabbed my bag off of the back. I slung it over my shoulder and started to walk through the huge wooden doors.
"wait, Granger" I heard him shout before I disappeared into the throng of students.
"What is it Malfoy?" I asked irritably. I tried to prepare myself before the hateful words came flying at me,or worse a curse.
"thank you." he said sincerely.
Huh? "what?" I blurted loudly.
" I said thank you, it's what polite people say when someone does something for them, I thought you were smart Granger." he quipped.
" I know what it means you git. But why? I didn't do anything for you."
"didn't you?" he asked.
" no, I didn't." I said before walking away.
That was strange. I thought. Then without a second thought I was inside the building.
There were lots of first years but as for seventh years just a few. I hardly recognized anyone. Just great. This would be fun.
Just then a girl I sort of knew from Arithimancy sat down near me. I think her name was Amanda. She was in Gryffindor but a fifth year so at least there would be one other girl in my house I could speak to. It was then when I spotted him again across the hall. His eyes met mine for a brief moment, thats when I felt that jolt again.
How is he doing that from across the room? I asked myself,when I looked up again he was gone. I was sure that I was going insane from stress. I needed to get up to my room and relax. After about twenty minutes professor McGonagal sorted the first years and then dismissed us to our houses
I made the long journey to Gryffindor tower and practically collapsed onto my bed. As I suspected. I had the room to myself.
"Peace and quiet at last." I said out loud. But I sat straight up, it was quiet, too quiet. It was eerie. I missed the endless chatter of my former roommates. I missed the mewing and scratching of my cat. This wasn't going to be the same. I was starting to regret my desicion to come back. I know I wasn't there to have fun and socialize but it was what made Hogwarts,Hogwarts. Maybe I could make new friends, Amanda seemed nice, I know she was smart too. There, now I had something to look forward to. I laid my head on my pillow and fell asleep.
I awoke the next morning feeling completely refreshed and rested. It was early, before sunrise, too early to go down for breakfast. So instead I made my way down to my favorite tree by the black lake. After being off of school for nearly a year I decided to review some books before jumping into class. I sat down on the wet dew covered grass and opened my Arithmancy book. The problems started to blur together after just a moment. How could I be so rusty at this? I thought. I stared at the same problem for what seemed like forever until I heard someone approaching me from behind. I slammed the book shut and jumped up, wand ready.
"bit jumpy are we?"I heard him drawling his own unique way
I glared at him. "What do you want Malfoy?Going to electrocute me again?" I asked.
"What are you going on about Granger? I never electrocuted you. I thought you jolted me at the carriage."
"No." I said "you did that and then again in the great hall last night."
He put his hand on his chest and pretended to be offended.
" I would never do that Granger." he said as heartfelt as he could muster.
"No you are probably right. That wasn't cruel enough for you. Maybe you could take a page from your aunt's book and finish carving Mudblood into my arm.
"I am nothing like that foul creature." he spat " things change Granger, you of all people should realize that."
For the first time in my life I actually felt wrong about something. Then he closed the distance between us in three large strides until my back was pushed against the tree.
"If I wanted to be cruel,"he started " this is much more my style." he said,leaning closer to me than he had ever been. When our lips touched I felt that jolt again right in the pit of my stomach. His tongue ran along my lower lip asking for entrance, to which I granted. He was an amazing kisser. I reached up to grab his hair and pull him closer but he pulled away.
"No touching." he said with a smirk that made him look much more like himself. I was confused and slightly hurt but before I could say anything else he literally ran off.
I was left with an empty feeling as I watched him grow smaller in the distance.
He was right. I thought. That was crueler.
All I could think of the remainder of the day was his lips on mine. During potions class I completely blanked out during professor Slughorn's discussion of restoring potions.
what the hell is wrong with me? I thought as I fought to regain some sense. I caught Draco's eye a minute later looking for some explanation to this odd reaction to him, maybe he slipped me a love potion. When he spotted me looking at him he licked his lips and winked at me. That was too much, I hadno idea what he was playing at but it was making me lose all common sense and reasoning. I should be mad as hell that he kissed me, not staring at him like some wanton love sick puppy. But I couldn't seem to help it. I wanted more and I was disgusted with myself about it. I closed my eyes and pictured him kissing me again, this time I kept my eyes open and looked at him, I mean really looked at him for the first time. I had always believed his eyes to be pale blue but upon further inspection I realized they were a pale grey with specks of darker grey scattered throughout. His skin was so beautiful, any Muggle fashion model would have been jealous. So pale with a hint of pink in his cheeks. He was flushed as he kissed me,this time grabbing my face with his strong hands. I had never been kissed like this before. I felt flushed and hot when I opened my eyes again realizing I was daydreaming and still in class. My face was red and I must have looked sick because professor Slughorn came over and whispered quietly in my ear.
"Miss Granger, do you need to have a break or go to see Madam Pomfrey?"
"Maybe a quick bathroom break." I replied, "I'm feeling a bit nauseated."
He nodded and I grabbed my things to head to the closest bathroom. When I got there I headed to the sink to splash water on my face. The cold water felt wonderfully refreshing and seemed to bring me out of the daze I felt I was in. I picked up my bag and started back to the potions classroom. In the hallway I felt my back hit the wall and before I could grab my wand both of my wrists were captured and I was looking into the grey eyes of the person I was fantizising about moments ago.
"Are you alright Granger? You didn't look so well when you left class. Slughorn sent me to check on you."
"well that's very nice of you Malfoy." I replied. And then suddenly he was much too close again.
"should I show you just how nice I can be?" he asked in a rough voice. I swallowed hard as he lowered his head to mine, in the middle of the corridor! Just before our lips touched, I whispered " someone could see us." to which he replied " I really don't care" he crashed his lips to mine and the jolt I felt in my stomach earlier returned. Only this time it rose into my throat and escaped as a small moan into his mouth. He growled in the back of his throat and for some reason I found that incredibly sexy. His hand that wasn't holding my wrists hostage traveled down to the hem of my skirt and back up my thigh where our bare skin touched my skin buzzed with electricity. He was going just a bit too far at that point,after all we were out in the open. I had to pull away as much as it pained me to do so.
"So Malfoy, was that you being cruel or nice?"
He actually smirked at me. " If I was being cruel Granger, I would have been the one to pull away. Want to continue this somewhere more private?" he asked
"yes." I replied, " but I can't I have to get back to class. Another time?"
"Count on it Granger." he answered. Damn I had to admit he looked sexy with his intense eyes staring me down. It took a lot of self control not to drag him into the nearest broom cupboard. He had awakened feelings deep inside of me that I had learned to repress long ago. As I watched him walk off, I hoped we would get to finish what we started, after all Ron was not worried about my feelings when he was doing God knows what with the girl from the village. But me, with Draco Malfoy would kill him. It was sounding better and better the more I thought of it. I walked back to class, still feeling flushed from the make-out session, wondering what this was really all about. I needed to get him alone and ask without the sexual distraction. By the time I got back to class, everyone was putting their supplies away. Professor Slughorn approached me and asked me if I was feeling better. I told him I was. But with Malfoy still giving me the eye from across the room it was becoming harder and harder to concentrate. Luckily class ended and Slughorn dismissed us. I made my way back to my room, grabbed some clean clothes and headed for the shower. After I washed up with my jasmine vanilla body wash and shampoo I dressed quickly and headed down to dinner. The Gryffindor table was the least full of all the house table, so ihad no problem finding a spot to sit. We were having roast chicken and potatoes with honey glazed carrots. I was starving. I looked around to find Malfoy eating and chatting with friends. He looked so carefree and young. I was jealous because I felt my life was full of stress and worry. While I was busy watching him like a drooling lovesick puppy, an owl flew over the table and dropped a letter onto my plate of food. I grabbed it and opened it quickly hoping it was from Harry or Ginny. I would have welcomed a letter from Ron at that point. It was not from any of my friends, it was from him.
Granger
10pm Astronomy tower.
DM
Well I was not just going. To be summoned like I was some booty call was just degrading. How dare he. I held the letter in my hand and looked over at him he noticed me and smiled the sexiest smile I had ever seen grace his lips. We did promise to finish what we started but, why were we doing this to begin with? It was only months ago that the two of us were on opposite sides of a brutal and bloody war. How could things have gone in such a drastic opposite direction so quickly? I didn't know but I decided to make a point to ask him. I just had to reserve the strength to resist his advances long enough to do so. I finished my dinner quickly and with a pointed look strolled past his table clutching the note tightly against my chest. I made my way back to my room to change into something a little bit sexier. I had the perfect outfit in mind, a white camisole trimmed in baby blue lace and matching baby blue pajama shorts. The shorts were very short and made my legs look very long. The color complimented my skin very nicely, they were a gift from Ron but I never got to wear them for him. We never had sex, at nineteen Hermione Granger was still a virgin,something I hoped to remedy tonight. As i slipped on a pair of white flip flops a clap of thunder startled me.
Oh great,of course it's going to rain. I though, now I would need to be extra careful. If I got wet this shirt was as good as see through. I checked the clock next to my bed before heading out. It was only 9:30. I didn't want to get there first, I would make him wait around for me especially since I didn't really know if he would show up. I mean he seemed into it but it could be a plot to embarrass me. So what could I do to kill half an hour? I could shave my legs. Yes that would make perfect sense to do. I went into the prefects bathroom and ran the water in the small tub. I grabbed my razor and shaving cream and set it on the side of the tub I stripped off my pajamas and flip flops and stepped into the hot water. I carefully removed any and all hair I could see on my legs, before rewashing my entire body. I dried off and got redressed in clean panties and my pajamas and flip flops. When I looked at the clock it was10:00 exactly. I hurriedly made my way out of the bathroom and out of the common room.
I luckily didn't encounter anyone in the hallways on the way to the Astronomy tower. I cast a protective spell around me to keep the water off of my camisole. It was bad enough that the cold was making my nipples stand at attention. They were straining against the soft cotton of my top. My heart was pounding loudly in my ears, was I really going to do this? With him? I couldn't answer that right now I was too excited and nervous. I didn't really know what I was getting myself into. I wasn't a naive little schoolgirl, I had done things with Ron but we never went all the way. By the time I reached the lower floor of the tower it was nearly 10:15. I was fashionably late. I peeked up through the wooden floor and saw him sitting on the stone bench alone, with his face in his hands. I crept up the spiral stairs and watched him for a moment he was wearing grey sweatpants and a white undershirt, with his school robe over the top, his feet were bare. He looked tired and weary. I cleared my throat and he jerked up and looked at me, a smile spread across his face that looked even more beautiful illuminated by moonlight. The sound of rain on the roof was loud and it made it hard to hear his voice.
"you came." he said still smiling. I nodded.
" I said that I would meet up another time and here we are, in another time so I am here." I sputtered out nervously. " But first, I need to know what this is all about. Your sudden change towards me, I mean"
He studied my face before answering in a quiet voice.
"It's kind of hard to explain but I guess it all started when you, Potter and Weasley arrived at my house this past spring." my eyes opened wide and i took a seat next to him on the bench leaning close so that I could hear him clearly.
" I didn't want any of you to be there." he sighed like a great weight was being lifted. I shivered and he took off his robe and wrapped it around my shoulders. It was then that lightning flashed and I saw the hundreds of cris cross shaped scars that ran along his arms. I gasped, covering my mouth in horror.
"I didn't want you to be there to witness the humiliation I was subject to whist my home was occupied. And I didn't want any of you to be tortured like Mr. Ollivander and that Ravenclaw girl, Lovegood."
"I could have spared some of this by telling them who you were straight away, but I just couldn't do it."
Tears were starting to burn my eyes. I tried blinking them away as I recalled one of the darkest moments of my life, being tortured by Bellatrix.
" Anyway by the time you arrived I was at my breaking point. I wanted out of that house I didn't care where I went as long as it was away from there. When I realized that Dobby had helped Mr. Ollivander and Lovegood escape I hung around the cells waiting to see if he would return. When he didn't I came upstairs and saw my aunt with you. I can't remember a time when I felt so low. I felt repulsed to be a Malfoy. Repulsed to be a wizard at all, as I watched you lying there I felt utterly helpless. I couldn't look at you,so I tried to think about you at school,smiling with your friends,answering questions in class, the way you looked in you Yule ball dress. So from then on every time I was punished I thought of you like that, it got me through a lot.
And I was grateful to you for that. I never imagined you would be returning to school this year and that I would get to see you again. Or that you would be so kind to me when I did see you, I thought you would hate me for what I was forced to do and witness."
"I'm so sorry. I had no idea. Ive never really hated you, I just didn't understand how you could be so cruel to me, without really knowing me. Why didn't you think I would come back to school?"
"Well I though maybe you would be getting married to Weasley." he said.
"Ron and I were over before we started, he's moved on, dating a muggle last I heard." I waited for his rude comment but all he said was
"His loss."
He looked at me his eyes shining with tears, and I couldn't wait another second. I leaned in and kissed him first,tenderly I touched the side of his face gently and he leaned into my palm. I ran my other hand through his silky blond hair, he leaned back on the stone bench and suddenly I was lying on top of him. He moaned into my mouth before reaching up and pulling me tighter against him. My body responded to his like it never had to another. His robe slipped from my shoulders and slid onto the floor my skin erupted in goosebumps from the cold. I shivered and he suddenly stopped kissing me and then sat up suddenly.
"This is not the right place for this." he said softly.
"What?" I asked, feeling hurt and confused. "I thought you wanted this."
"I do. I want this more than I have ever wanted anything in my life. This is just not the right place. You deserve more."
" My room is empty this year." I suggested taking his hand in my own. He smiled as I led him down the stairs and into the open hallway. We had to be careful since we were out past curfew. Luckily the halls were deserted and as we climbed the stairs towards Gryffindor tower, I couldn't stop smiling. He never dropped my hand once the entire time, but as we arrived at the portrait entrance a thought occurred to me, the magic of my dorm would not allow a boy inside. So I came up with plan B. Harry and Ron's old room. I knew I could get up there and that it was empty. So I led him through the portrait and into our common room. Then we crept up the stairs to the boys dorm seventh floor. We tiptoed past the other floors where I could hear the gentle snoring off the Gryffindor underclassmen. When we reached the seventh floor I opened the door as quietly as I could. It was actually kind of creepy seeing the whole dorm empty. All the curtains were pulled up and tied to the bedposts. The sheets were folded neatly at the bottom of each bed. I followed him to the bed closest to the window.
"This wasn't Wesley's bed was it?" he asked looking at it suspiciously.
"No, it wasn't. I don't remember who's it was. I was only up here a handful of times."
He looked liked I had popped his birthday balloon.
"what?" I asked honestly not knowing what this look was for.
"I didn't really want to think of you and him in that way right at this moment."
"in what way?"I asked dumbly, not quite catching on.
"In the way of you and Weasley having sex." he snapped.
"We never had sex..." I stuttered.
"Up here?" he asked.
"Ever." I said. This conversation was really killing the mood. I walked up next to him and took his hand before standing on my tiptoes to kiss him again. He seemed to be distant now.
"Maybe this was a mistake." I whispered, taking a step back.
"Are you telling me what I think you are?" he asked.
"What do you think I'm telling you? " I wondered. I really had no idea where this conversation was going.
"That you are a virgin." he finally said. His face red.
"That wasnt what I was trying to say." I told him. " I was telling you that Ronald and I never had sex. Up here or anywhere." I said angrily.
"So you're not a virgin?" he asked.
"Does it matter?"
"Not at all." he replied, still looking a bit sceptical.
"well then what are you waiting for?" I asked in a soft breathy voice that didn't sound like me at all. Without skipping a beat he pulled me into his arms and bent me backwards and kissed me fiercely. I felt myself melt into his body and I pressed my hand to his chest. His heart was beating hard and fast, his breathing was getting labored as well, the longer we kissed, the more I knew this is what I really wanted to do.
He backed up to the bed and laid me down on top of the dusty duvet. When he released me I stole a glance at him.
How did I not notice his intense beauty before. It was like my eyes were open for the first stood there for a moment looking at me as well, then I caught him staring at the scar on my forearm. It made me very uncomfortable and I pulled the duvet over my bare arm.
"You don't have to hide from me." he whispered.
"I don't like this scar." I told him.
"why not have it removed?" he asked.
"they tried, I was told it was too heavily cursed to be removed." I said as the tears threatened to burn my eyes again.
"Ahh... But they didn't have my Aunts books and notes like I do. Would you like me to remove it?"
"Can you? " I asked not truly daring to hope.
"Yes,I think I can." he said leaning down to uncover my arm and kiss every letter carved into my skin when he got to the end I felt something hot on my skin. It was his tears, they fell onto the raised red skin and it burned them a little. I winced but when I looked back, the last few letters had disappeared.
"How did you do that?" I asked quietly
" I told you I knew how." he replied smugly.
"But how?" I asked needing to know. "I spent months at St. Mungo's trying to heal it then get rid of it. Nothing worked."
"Only a member of Bellatrix's family could have done it, and really I am the only one it would have worked for."
"Why?"
"To get rid of them you need regret,and I am the only one related to her that regrets what happened."
He continued to kiss each letter and when his tears fell onto my skin, the scar disappeared. His left hand roamed up my stomach and finally caught the hem of my camisole his hand went underneath, lifting the garment as he went. After a second he exposed my breast closest to his head without hesitation he turned his head and took it into his mouth he felt wonderfully warm on my chilled skin. I arched my back pressing it further into his hand and mouth. I could feel the wetness between my thighs, how embarrassing. He shifted so that he was lying atop me. I reached down and grabbed the hem of his shirt pulling it off of him in one swift move.
"damn Granger, be patient." he said with a smirk.
" Screw being patient." I replied with a smirk of my own while reaching down to his pants and tugging at the waistline. Once I got them started, I finished the job with my foot. Dragging them down around his ankles. The look of shock on his face was priceless. He was completely commando underneath, but his arousal was quite evident. When he laid back on top of me I could feel him on my thigh. I needed out of these pajama shorts right away. So I didn't wait for him to do it, I wriggled out of them on my own. I pulled him closer to me, loving the feeling of his bare chest against mine. He finally pulled his mouth off of my breast and he tried to speak but he was out of breath.
"Are..are you sure?" he finally spat out.
I closed my eyes and tried to think of the last time I felt so good, so alive. But I came up empty.
"I am so sure Draco. I want you, but you should know that I am a virgin, sorry I was just embarrassed." the look on his face was hard to read. I hoped he wasnt having second thoughts after my admission.
"Draco are you alright?"
He seemed to finally find his voice.
"I'm better than I have ever been my entire life." he replied
"Then why are you looking at me like that?" I wondered.
"You just shocked the hell out of me, that doesn't happen very often.
"when you asked before, I just didn't know what to say. I didn't want to lie to you or anything. I thought maybe..." I stopped before I said something stupid to him
"You thought maybe what?" he asked.
Damn, now what do I say?
"Nothing." I said quickly hoping he would drop it. He didn't.
"No you can't just start saying something then stop like that. What is it?"
"It's stupid. I don't want to tell you. Just a dumb thought that crossed my mind."
"I don't believe it. A dumb thought has never entered your brain. Just say it."
"I thought maybe if I told you I was a virgin, you would make some comment about no one wanting to shag me anyway."
"Um...hello. First of all, I would not say that, second of all I'm lying next to you naked about to shag you, I hope . So what would that say about my taste if I were to make fun of you for that."
"I told you it was stupid. It's not that I've never had the opportunity, it was just that it never seemed like a good time."
"I understand,believe me"
"How could you possibly understand?" I asked.
"I'm a virgin too." he finally spat out. My jaw dropped, that was had heard the stories about him.
"Shut up." I said pushing his chest.
"Believe it or not being a death eater does not present many romantic opportunities."
"But you have a reputation in this school." I replied.
"an undeserved one."he said before looking out the window. "it's not like I can just correct it without looking like a complete loser."
" I guess you are right. " i said softly.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and kissed me again.
"Enough talk, " he whispered before climbing back atop me and lying between my legs, I reached my hand around his back to caress his soft skin from his shoulders to his bum. He shuddered under my touch,relaxing his mouth to mine. I brought my hands up again and wound them in his hair which elicited a whimper from him. He reached his hand down sliding a finger into me. I bucked against his hand and shivers took over my entire body.
"You are so wet." he breathed into my ear.
There is probably something wrong with me. No one should be this wet their first time right?
"sorry." I muttered
"why are you sorry?" he asked "You feel great on my hand, I can't wait to be inside of you."
"Then why are you waiting?" I wondered aloud.
"I was going slow to make sure you were really ready,"
"I'm ready." I told him as he positioned himself between my legs and supported himself on his elbows.
I felt him at my entrance and tried to relax, I had read the pain wasn't so bad if you were relaxed.
He gave me a final sexy look and nodded for him to go ahead and he did. It felt good until he hit my barrier, then there was a pinch of pain. A little more severe than a menstral cramp, it only lasted a second and it was tolerable to me.
"Are you okay?" He asked softly. I nodded.
"I need to move." he said with a pained expression.
"okay." I said "I'm alright." but when he moved a little it hurt a lot more than I had anticipated. I whined a little and he stopped dead in his tracks.
"I'm hurting you."he whispered.
"Yes." I replied, "you are, but I'll be ok. I just have to get used to you, it's not that bad. Please, don't stop."
His eyes were soft as he looked at me.
"You are amazing Hermione." he said as he started moving again, it was still painful, but I could bear it by then my body was growing accustomed to the feel of him inside me and it was even starting to feel a little good. I moaned softly in his ear and gripped his back hard.
"Fuck, what are you doing to me?" he asked. His whole body trembled and he growled out my name before collapsing on top of me, his face in the crook of my neck My legs felt like they were made of rubber, his weight was crushing me, but I didn't want to lose the warmth of his body or the full feeling of him inside me.
"did you?" he asked. I looked at him quizzically.
"Did I what?" I replied.
"you know" he said As he stroked my hair gently.
" I guess this is something I finally don't know." I told him
"Did you come?" he asked in a hushed voice,his face turning deep red
"I don't know" I said honestly. "I don't know what it's supposed to feel like"
"From what I've heard you would know." he said looking dejected. "I'm sorry I couldn't do it for you." he whispered in my ear.
"You were wonderful." I told him. " girls don't normally come their first time."
He looked a bit better at that news.
He muttered something low that I didn't understand.
"What?" I asked.
"just a quick contraceptive spell. Don't want you to get pregnant the first time. That would be the height of poor manners on my part."
"Oh, well thank you."
He started to get up then.
"Do you have to go?" I asked.
"Not if you want me to stay."
"Please stay. I'm going to go clean up a bit." I said realizing I had blood on my thighs
He nodded as he got up and started putting clean sheets on the bed. I practically ran to the bathroom to shower. My legs still felt sore and weak. I took a quick shower, washing all the blood off of my legs. I rewashed my hair as well so that I could put it up for the night and it wouldn't look like a bird nest when we woke up in the morning. I replayed the nights events in my head over and over. His confession about his behavior, the soft gentle kisses, telling me he was a virgin too, his beautiful face as he moved inside of me. The sound of him screaming out my name.
It was all perfect and yet not like romance novel perfect. There were no fireworks or seeing stars. It was our own kind of perfect. I got redressed in a pink nightshirt that fell to mid thigh and a clean white pair of underwear. Then I ran back to where he was waiting. The sight waiting for me was shocking. He had remade the bed with clean sheets and blankets, though where he got green ones was beyond me. He had also lit the wood stove in the middle of the room and it was now emitting a soft warm glow. There were also candles lit throughout the room, he was sitting on the bed, redressed in his white undershirt and sweatpants. His hair still mussed and he was smiling at me. He looked very sexy as I approached him.
"Wow,you did all this for me?"
"No," he replied "I did all this for us."
"Us. I like the sound of that."
" I do too." he smiled.
I climbed into bed and covered up patting the spot next to me. He flopped backwards until his head hit the pillow. I ran my hand over his chest kissing his neck and jawline as I did. He snuggled up next to me. And I can honestly say I had never felt more comfortable with anyone in my entire life. It felt as though him and I fit together, like he was the missing piece of my life.
"I can't help but wonder if we could have been happy like this for years if I wasn't so stupid and brainwashed." he said gazing into my eyes. I smiled at him in return relaxing even further into his warm embrace.
"Sometimes I feel like someone is writing my life the way they want it to be and not the way it should be. Like they write Ron and I together when honestly we couldn't be more incompatible."
"I feel like that all the time as well. Like I am only supposed to be the bad guy. That's not who I am anymore."
I smiled at him knowing that was true.
"so what now?" I asked.
" I have no idea. But I don't want things to go back to the way they were before. I don't want this to be a one time thing." he confessed. " I can't remember ever feeling so normal and alive, like I have my whole life ahead of me. For a long time all I saw and felt was darkness. I thought my future was set in stone once I got the dark mark. They had it all planned out for me. Marry some inbred pure blooded bitch. Have some rotten kids and brainwash them like I was so that piece of shit Voldemort could have a brand new generation to control with fear and torture. And I would be expected to just sit by and allow it to happen like my father did."
" Thats all behind you now. You are your own person. You follow no one. You choose who you want to be with. How to raise your kids if you choose to have any. You have endless possibilities now." I told him rubbing my hand up and down his stomach.
"You are right. And right now I want to sleep with you here until morning. If its ok with you." he whispered.
" That sounds wonderful." I said snuggling up to him in the crook of his arm.
"Then in the morning I would like to have breakfast with you. Will you?" he asked.
"Yes I will. I would love that. Where Will we sit?"
"How about the Hufflepuff table?" he asked hesitantly.
"Nuetral ground... Sounds like a plan. " I replied.
Suddenly I felt very tired and I yawned loudly.
"You are tired, let's sleep." he whispered.
And then sleep took me.
"