Hello there!

This is a one shot about Mary finding out about John's death.

Enjoy!

I feel numb. I feel nothing. I can't feel.

I lay awake and sleepless on the cold floor. I know that it is cold but somehow I can't feel it. I can't feel anything.

In my hand is a half silver coin. I tighten my grip on it and placed it near my heart.

This coin may be nothing to others but it for me it is the most important thing in the world.

It holds a promise. A promise that says "I'll come back for you."

I can still hear it being said in a gentle whisper against the cold night air.

This promise is just a broken vow now.

I remembered the time I heard the news that broke my heart into a million pieces.

It was the third month after John left for the war.

I sat in my silent room as I thought about the good times and happier times when John was still around.

I am left with nothing to do but wait for him, miss him and hope he will come back home, come back to her soon.

The silence was broken with a knock on the door.

"Come in." I said.

The door slowly opened and it revealed my servant, Tituba.

"What is it?" I asked her as I stood up from my chair.

Tituba looked at me sadly as she cupped my face with her hands.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news for you mistress." She said.

My heart began to beat faster and faster. "What's wrong?" I asked nervously.

She removed her hands from my face and exhaled slowly. "News just came that says John Alden died in the war."

I felt a tear escape my eye. "No. That's not true." I said with a shaky voice.

"It is true." Tituba said.

My body started to shake uncontrollably as I felt more tears pouring down my face.

My knees gave out and I fell on the floor. "No. No. No. No." I whispered to myself again and again.

Still I am lying down.

Remembering him, all of him. Then...

I stood up from the ice cold floor as I felt nauseous.

I rushed to the other side of the room to grab a bucket as I spewed all the contents of my dinner.

When I finished I can still taste the bitterness of my vomit.

I sat on my bed and closed my eyes.

A thought came to my mind.

I tried to remember the last time I bled. I can't remember.

I may be pregnant. Pregnant with a child. With John's child.

I was happy and sad.

Happy that I may still have a part of him to keep. Sad because I can't share my happiness with him.

I placed my hand gently on my belly as I caressed it with love and care.

And I tried to imagine what my child's future is.

But the problem is I can't.