Hey Nico, thank you so much for picking my fic. I only just finished it last night before the stream so I apologise greatly if there are a lot of errors XD I'm also sick at the time of writing. Anyway, I call this: "A Day in the Life of Nico" I hope you enjoy.
A Day in the Life of Nico
by GiLLyeXp(YouTube) aka GiLLyDxD(Twitch)
As Nico sits down in his computer chair readying himself to record a video he pauses for a moment.
"I don't really feel like recording anything today." He thinks to himself.
After recording and uploading for the past 8 days straight it's pretty understandable that he would want a break. He grabs his coat and heads out the door. Exiting his home he heads over to his car. He takes a moment to observe the surroundings.
"It's a really nice day outside, would be a shame to waste it."
He's right, there's not a single cloud in the sky and the temperature is a nice, perfect warm. He foregoes the car and decides to walk down the street.
Halfway down the street Nico comes across one of his neighbours, Catherine.
"Nice day for a walk, Nico." She calls out to him. "Going anywhere special?"
"Nowhere in particular. Thinking of heading down to The Witch's House."
"The Witch's House? Is that the new coffee shop they built in the mall?"
"Yup, that's the one. See ya later, Catherine." Nico says as he walks off.
Upon entering the mall Nico heads over to the nearest map to find where the location of the coffee shop is. He only heard about it from his neighbour after he delivered them a gift basket for punching them in the face for the 16th time. After finding where the coffee shop is Nico started heading over immediately. On the way he walks past a toy shop called "Dungeons and Tantrums" where it appears a mad father and his upset son are having an argument.
"But, Dad, I really want this toy!" cried the son "They only just came out and they're really limited! All my friends are getting one and I don't want to be left out!"
"Enough!" The father shouted back. "You already have an allowance that your mother and I give you! An allowance which you've already spent! If you wanted this toy you shouldn't have wasted your money 2 days ago on that other useless shit you bought!"
The son looks down crying with his fragile heart most likely broken. He doesn't say anything back because he knows his father is absolutely right. He would have had enough money if he waited as he knew the toy was coming out a few days later. The argument is finished after that and the father grabs his son's hand and takes him away from the shop.
"What an aptly named shop" Nico says to himself realising the huge coincidence that just occurred in front of him.
As Nico continues to head to the coffee shop he runs into yet another scenario. This time, in a clothing shop named Bastion, a slender looking woman is having an argument with an old lady over some clothes.
"I found this first! Let go you old hag!" shouted the younger, slender woman.
"Is that any way to treat your elders, deary?! Replied the old lady. "I grabbed this first and you should treat me with a bit more respect!"
Wanting to walk past and skip over this nonsense Nico starts walking away hoping to avoid yet another fight in front of him today. The last thing he wants to see is this cliche turn into a round of hotline miami. However, as he was turning away from the two women he noticed something peculiar in their struggle. The item they were fighting over is a very lacy, black, risque looking set of bra and panties. It takes Nico several seconds to process this scenario.
"..."
Upon realising what is wrong with this image he immediately darts over to the couple to tearaway the set of lingerie from them. He then promptly hands it right to the slender woman. Without missing a beat he hands the old woman some money equal to that of the lingerie as compensation for her loss. Both women are befuddled but accept the current circumstances.
As Nico briskly walks away he hears: "Ha! suck it you old hag, these are mine!"
"Oh blow me, you little stick figure. Don't starve on the way to the cashier" Upon hearing this surprisingly foul-mouthed old lady, Nico turns briefly to see her flipping off the young lady as she storms out of the clothing store. She notices Nico staring as she leaves and shoots him a creepy smile and a wink. Chills immediately strike Nico's back balls as he looks away again and starts walking away extremely fast, possibly breaking the world record for speed walking.
"I'm going to hurry up and get this coffee, and then I'm going to go home and give myself amnesia." He thinks to himself while remembering that nightmare-inducing image of an old woman who reminds him of {Redacted] (Author's Note: It's okay, Nico, I wouldn't do that to you) ((Yes, you are supposed to read this part out loud))
"Thank you, strange voice that suddenly popped into my head." Nico says as he breaks the 4th wall.
"Finally!" Nico shouts to himself in his head. He's arrived at the coffee shop. After waiting in line for a short couple of minutes it's his time to order. He sees the barista turned around quickly sorting the utensils for the next order.
"Holy shit…" Nico says as his eyes widen. "This is too good to be a joke"
The back of the barista's head, more specifically his hair, is white. Obviously knowing what this implies he anticipates the turning around of this barista very highly. They finally turn around only to reveal that he is just a regular teen that has white hair for some reason. Oh and an eyepatch for a not-so-subtle anime reference that Nico probably won't get. And I'm breaking my own narrative here *cough cough cough* Where was I? oh yes-
"Aww god damn it. It's just some little weenie-looking kid with an eyepatch" Nico thinks to himself disappointedly.
"So what'll you have?" The kid asks.
Nico's eyes scan the big menu board looking for something to buy, when a certain item catches his eye. "Why hello, friend, yes I'd like to buy that special blend, the one called 107, which according to IGN 'tastes like heaven.' "
"Sure no problem, pal, I'll make that swiftly. That'll just be three dollars fifty"
Nico hands over the money and then realised what had just transpired. "What the flying fruity fuck just happened there….. Why was everything in rhyme…"
After waiting a couple of minutes the coffee is done.
"Wow, this smells fantastic! After all that's happened this seems like it'll be worth it" Nico thinks gleefully.
Nico walks out of the mall, coffee in hand, heading back home. "Today has been one weird journey. All I wanted to do was get some coffee and maybe walk around for a while." he internally monologues. Before he realises it Nico is already on his street and nearly home. 2 houses away from his own Nico suddenly gets called out.
"Hey, [Nico's real name], we're having a party over here would you like to come over?"
Nico turns to see where the voice came from. It's the neighbour that Nico always punches in the face when he gets super pissed off.
"Uh-" Nico replies as he gets interrupted
"Come on over! we have a ton of food and stuff if you want a bite to eat."
Nico realises just how hungry he is and decides to join the festivities. He likely would have bought food while he was at the mall but he gave most of his money to the creepy oldba- *AHEM* old lady and only had enough left for the coffee.
"Make yourself at home" the punching bag says as he welcomes Nico inside.
Nico immediately spotted the food table and heads over. To his pleasant surprise everything there is PF Changs. Either the neighbour went on a massive Chinese binge and bought a fuck ton of overpriced Chinese food, or the author really knows how to reference Nico's own jokes.
After loading up a whole plate of PF Chang's, Nico finds a comfortable place to sit down so he can dig in. The couch with the coffee table seems like the best choice in this living room. You can't actually see it but this is the only thing here. I guess the writer didn't feel like describing the whole room. What a lazy prick.
Just as Nico is about to eat he notices something very…. out of place. Under the coffee table rest a dead body. The cropse displayed before him has seemingly had his neck twisted and broken. The crooked man lays cold, dead at Nico's feet. He simply can't believe his eyes. "There's a fucking corpse on the floor and these people are having a fucking party?!" rages Nico internally. He keeps it in so as not to make himself suspicious. He heads over to the phone and calls the police. Anonymously of course, he can't be bothered dealing with this shit anymore.
"Oh fuck this day. I just want to go back to my computer and record some more games" Nico says as he finally decides he's had enough. As he gets to the door he stops. He turns around and goes into the kitchen and grabs a black garbage bag from one of drawers. Nico goes over to the table of PF Chang's and slides it all into the bag.
"Hey, [Nico's real name], what the fuck are you doing?!" Shouted the angry neighbour.
(In Seven's voice)
"Stealing your PF Chang's, bitch, what does it look like?" retorted Nico in his smooth and epic Seven voice.
This only made the neighbour angrier, to the point where he grabs Nico's collar.
(In Joshua's voice)
"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Sally." Nico comments in his douchy Joshua voice.
"Oh yeah and why not?!"
"Cause today is number 17" Right after finishing that witty comeback Nico clocks his neighbour in the face knocking him to the ground.
The neighbour, having his consciousness sent straight to the moon, is too dazed to do anything else, so Nico picks up the bag of PF Chang's and leaves.
Nico enters his house after what feels like hours and rests the highly nutritious garbage bag on the floor. He sits in his computer chair and stares at the ceiling.
"After today I am not going outside for another week. At least" Nico says as he sighs exhaustedly.
"But at least something good happened today!" He opens the bag and pulls out some PF Chang's "Isn't that right, Bernie?" Nico says as he gives the French bulldog some of his food. Let's just pretend that it's okay for the sake of the moment, okay? Okay.
And finally, at the end of Nico's seemingly everlasting journey, he lays down completely stuffed with food right next to his new companion. Nico hugs Bernie and says: "I guess today wasn't so bad after all"
The End.
And then Nico recorded a lot of Kingdom Hearts and uploaded the rest, all the way up to the finale, in one go. CAUSE KINGDOM HEARTS IS A MAGICAL LP AND WE NEED MORE OF IT-
*ahem*
Sorry, I'm getting a little carried away.
The End. For Real This Time. Thank You For Reading. I Love All You Picky Penguins So Much. And For Anyone Wondering All Of This Is Capitalized Because It's Supposed To Be The End….. I Fucked It Up Again. God Damn It.
Okay, Now It's The En- *Crash!* *Bang!* *Pow!* *other superhero punching noises!* The annoying writer is finally taken out by none other than the amazing Super Bagels.
The End.
(Feel free to read this one if you want to, it's not really necessary)
Notes/Fun Facts:
1: This is the first fanfic I've ever written.
2: I originally started this out planning to use numerous titles of your LPs woven into the text, which I did do for the most part. I ended up using some of the same games because I couldn't really think of any other words to use. And they seemed to fit so eh, fuck it XD
3: This took about 2 hours to write as I had to think of stuff to say.
4: I am extremely bad at that, I think.
5: The name "Nico" is used 51 times, excluding the title, the opening paragraph and right here.
6: I had a lot of fun writing this and I hope it transitions to being read just as much.
7: The 4th wall jokes only start after Nico breaks the 4th wall. I thought that was slightly clever on my part XD