Chapter 1—You're Gonna Miss Me When I'm Gone

There's a grief that can't be spoken,

There's a pain that goes on and on,

Empty chairs at empty tables,

Now my friends are dead and gone...

I was sitting outside. The air was cold and there was a nasty breeze blowing. My hair, which had gone silver over the years, despite my inability to age, had been pulled back into a half-assed ponytail. Today was another funeral. They've been happening more frequently over the years. It started out with Ron, who died because of health problems. Sam, Judy, and I had been devastated. Everyone who knew our family had attended, even the Autobots. Saoirse, Eden, and Orion were hit the hardest. They had been in their late teens when Ron died.

It was only a year and a half after Ron died that a heart attack took out Judy.

[Here they talked of revolution,

Here it was they lit the flame,

Here they sang about tomorrow,

And tomorrow never came...]

Again, we all had a funeral to attend. Sam and I didn't want to believe Ron and Judy were gone—it felt too soon. Our kids had lost their grandparents, we had lost our parents. For a while, things had eventually evened out and returned to normal. We all eventually somewhat healed over Ron's and Judy's passing but it still stung to think about.

I continued to live with Cade and his family on their farm, helping Cade and Ratchet with whatever inventions they could think of. But I realized that as they years went by, I was steadily watching the Yeagers grow older.

And I stayed the same.

Soon, Cade's inventions started becoming less and less. Eventually, he became too tired to even try.

Tess had gone to college, graduated, eventually started her own family with Shane. Cade had eventually approved of their relationship, and I watched with a heavy heart as the girl I once knew grew up to raise children of her own.

Then a phone call from Sam saying Simmons had passed.

[From the table in the corner,

They could see a world reborn,

And they rose with voices singing,

And I can hear them now!

The very words that they had sung,

Became their last communion,

On this lonely barricade at dawn...]

At Simmons' funeral, Dutch had said he passed in his sleep. He'd gotten older, his usual eccentricity had steadily declined. The obsession with aliens had become a thing of the past. The former Sector 7 Agent, the man who helped us during Chicago, the man who helped during the Egypt battle—he had died too.

I was starting to understand the pain of watching my loved ones die. They'd continue to age and their health might even decline, too. But because I Sparkbound with Optimus, I no longer had the ability to age. Ratchet said my cells were no longer aging. I could still die—I could get illnesses, if I got into an accident of any kind, I'd still die. I just couldn't age.

So at Simmons' funeral, Sam, the Autobots, Dutch, Epps, Lennox, their families, everyone who had somehow been impacted by Simmons showed up. We wept, we said our words of farewell, we mourned.

But the only thing that was changing for me was my hair. Going from an ashy blonde to a paler shade, looking more gray than blonde.

[Oh my friends, my friends, forgive me,

That I live and you are gone,

There's a grief that can't be spoken,

There's a pain goes on and on...]

It was in that moment that I realized not only are my friends and family slowly dying off, but my children are growing older. They no longer have the need to live with Optimus or I. Saoirse, Eden, and Orion had grown to accept their differences, discovering things about themselves that they eventually became comfortable with. And they left. It was a tearful goodbye on my part.

My babies...gone. In the blink of an eye.

And while I tried adjusting to a life without my children around, I started to realize I was becoming more lonely. Optimus and the other Autobots tried comforting me the best way they knew, but I was becoming withdrawn. I'd lock myself away in my room for days on end; sometimes I'd just start crying my eyes out.

The heaviness in my chest was becoming bigger and heavier.

Cade tried providing as much comfort as he could.

Sam, his wife Carly, and their children Nancy and Daniel—my niece and nephew—would come over as frequently as they could to try and comfort me. But whenever I saw them, I was reminded of what would soon happen to them.

And that would hurt even more.

[Phantom faces at the windows,

Phantom shadows on the floor,

Empty chairs at empty tables,

Where my friends will meet no more...]

Soon, the years started to droll on. My hair had turned completely gray, but I hadn't aged a day. I still looked the same. I eventually fell out of contact with my old friends. Sam and his family had since stopped visiting. I couldn't keep wallowing in my sadness and grief. I had to make room for them and learn to live with it. But as the years went by, and one by one the people I held so dear to my heart started dying from various health conditions and other problems, I started to realize that the pain and grief that had since overtaken me since Ron's death had become a sort of strength for me.

I had to relearn that weakness was a sign of strength.

I would always mourn over my losses.

I will always mourn Ron and Judy; Simmons; Lennox and Epps; their families; Mikaela; Leo; Carly; Cade; Tessa and her family; Shane; even Sam. I'll even mourn the loss of Daniel and Nancy and their families.

And so, as I sat there, on the porch of the farmhouse that used to belong to Cade and his family, I had tears rolling down my face. Saoirse, Eden, and Orion were inside, doing who-knows-what. Daniel's funeral had just finished at the cemetery over an hour ago, and only the Autobots, their Sparkmates, my great nieces and great nephews, and our children remained.

I sighed.

The front door opened and I didn't bother turning to see who it was. Optimus's Holoform sat beside me. The Holoform hadn't aged a day. It still looked exactly the same as when I first saw it after the Mission City battle.

"I can feel your pain, Desirée," he murmured, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"I know."

I felt him kiss my temple, pulling me close to him.

"They're all gone," I murmured. More tears rolled down my face. "My friends...they're gone."

Optimus gently lifted my face, softly wiping the tears from my eyes. I could see the look of utmost heartbreak in those vivid blue eyes.

"My Desirée," he whispered, pulling me to his chest.

I wrapped my arms around his middle.

"You'll always have us," he whispered.

My grip tightened just a fraction.

[Oh my friends, my friends, don't ask me,

What your sacrifice was for,

Empty chairs at empty tables,

Where my friends will sing no more...]

QUICKY A/N:

JUST A HEAD'S UP, THIS SONG THAT I HAD WRITTEN THROUGHOUT THIS CHAPTER IS CALLED 'EMPTY CHAIRS AT EMPTY TABLES': IT'S FROM LES MISERABLES, EDDIE REDMAYNE SINGS IT, I THOUGHT IT'D BE A GOOD SONG FOR THIS CH. AND AS FOR THE TITLE THAT WENT AFTER THE WHOLE "Chapter 1", THAT WAS FROM THE CUP SONG. I WAS WATCHING 'PITCH PERFECT' AND THAT SONG CAME ON AND I DECIDED WHY NOT? WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK OF THIS FIRST ONE-SHOT? IT'S BEEN ON MY MIND FOR A WHILE NOW. I JUST COULDN'T STOP WONDERING WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF DESIRÉE'S HUMAN FRIENDS AND FAMILY JUST SLOWLY DYING OF OLD AGE OR ILLNESSES, ETC.

DANIEL IS SAM'S AND CARLY'S SON. I KNOW THERE'S A KIND REVIEWER FOR 'BY YOUR SIDE' WHO GAVE AN OC NAMED DANIEL, BUT I'M REFERING TO THE ONE WHO'S THEIR SON. AS FOR NANCY, I KNOW THERE'S AN ANIMATED TRANSFORMERS SERIES WHERE CARLY AND SAM ALSO HAVE A LITTLE GIRL NAMED NANCY. IF THAT'S OK WITH YOU GUYS, LET ME KNOW!

I DO NOT OWN THIS SONG, THAT BELONGS TO LES MISERABLES. I ALSO OWN NOTHING IN THE 'TRANSFORMERS' FRANCHISE. I OWN MY CHARACTERS AND MY FILLERS. I ALSO DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE OC'S OFFERED TO ME IN MY PREVIOUS TRANSFORMERS STORIES; THOSE BELONG TO THEIR RESPECTIVE OWNERS.

ANYWHO, THE OC'S IN MY PREVIOUS TRANSFORMERS STORIES WILL MAKE AN APPEARANCE IN LATER CH.'S.

ALSO, A SHOUTOUT TO Silent Shooter: HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, MY FRIEND! I HOPE IT WAS A WONDERFULLY FANTASTIC BIRTHDAY. THANK YOU IMMENSELY FOR ALL YOUR REVIEWS.

ANOTHER SHOUTOUT TO Bee4ever: YOU, MY FRIEND, ARE FANTASTIC! THANK YOU IMMENSELY FOR YOUR REVIEWS ON 'BY YOUR SIDE'! I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR THEM.

LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS THINK OF THIS!

STAY SNAPPY!

THANK YOU, ONE AND ALL!

READ, REVIEW, ENJOY!

YOURS TRULY,

~SMITHY