Title: Introvert's Love and Pain
Rating: T
Pairing: Suguro Ryuji (bon) x Okumura Rin, one-sided Kamiki Izumo x Okumura Rin
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Summary: AU. Okumura Rin was always been a loner and "weird", but he prefer that, rather than pretend to be somebody else.
Introvert
Noun
Noun: introvert; plural
1.
A shy, reticent, and typically self-centered person.
PSYCHOLOGY
A person predominantly concerned with their own thoughts and feelings rather than with external things.
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"I was born as a forest, but I feel overwhelmed by all these trees."
― theladyfidgets
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I don't own Ao no Exorcist/ Blue Exorcist
One shot? I really don't know XD
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I'm Okumura Rin, fifteen years old, a loner, but I prefer that because that's me, other people think that I'm weird because I'm not "like" them, they were very vocal and social but for me it felt foreign I'm not used to that kind of environment I prefer to be alone with my thoughts, I'd rather choose to sleep than to party, to listen than to share my thoughts. I sighed and glanced at my watch it was two thirty and our professor is nowhere to be found, I leaned on my chair and I wish that we had a class so I didn't have to listen to my classmate's rants and undeniably useless conversations about boobs and what not, I didn't had anything to do and I decided to scan the class, we were crowded as usual and I saw the "trio" they were often the source of trouble Shima, the pink haired guy that they call "the pervert", he always go out with different girls every week and they were some kind of trophies, the next one was Konekomaru, he was like the neutral in the three of them, he was always the referee when the Shima and the other one quarrel, the other one was Ryuji, he had a streak of blond hair on top of his hair that somehow looked like a chicken, he had piercings on both ears he really looked rebellious and at any moment he looked like he'll punch someone because he want to. And there's that guy named Takara Nemu the other one besides me that holds the name "weird" in our class, he always had a ventriloquist's doll on his hand and he really didn't talk to anyone unless he needed to.
"Rin!" oh and that's Kamiki Izumo, she's a "normal one" and I didn't really know why she want to hang out with me, she was a friend of my brother's girlfriend, Shiemi and after a few weeks of their visiting in our house with Shiemi she really tried to be a "friend" to me, that's what she said, I really didn't understand that, my childhood was different from the others, the other kids didn't want to play with me because I wanted to be in a place away from the crowd I always like the playground at night when the others were at home, that way I enjoyed the swing, the slide, the whole playground alone. I really didn't had any "friends" because of that. And I just needed someone to be alone.
"Sensei isn't here yet, let's go grab something to eat" she said as I sigh and nodded I'm pretty hungry after all.
"Damn, Okumura was really weird right? He still didn't speak to anyone but Kamiki-san, I wonder if there was something in between them. Kamiki-san was cute though"
"By the way you act, you're a disgrace in a family of monks Shima, besides I think that Okumura just wanted to be alone… or something" I said as I snort in disgust in the way Shima treat girls like trophies, he was like that since he first saw an adult magazine and porn of his brother that they "secretly hid under their beds". I shifted my thoughts on Okumura, he was like that since the first day and now was second semester of first year, and well he's not that weird like that puppet guy who didn't had anyone to talk to. I sighed and leaned on my chair.
"Hey I got an Idea Bon!, let's take a bet, if you can make Okumura-kun a friend or anything else within a month I'll forget that you peek at my porn and magazines and I'll forget the money you owe me three weeks ago… well?" I was shocked and embarrassed at the same time…. Well I did peek at that stupid magazine…. I'm just curious you know!... and that money I owe Shima was kinda huge, just because some guy manage to get into my skin for being such a big talk on me like they knew me or something "he's a monk's son and he looked like that? Is that even allowed?" they deserve the broken bones they got from me, but in result I have to pay for their bills, which I borrowed from Shima.
"I guess you can't do it then?..." he said and I know that tone he's challenging me "I'll do it….you pervert and what do you mean by anything else of that bet?"
"Oh come on bon, Koneko and I both knew that you didn't swing on girls….. You know …..That you prefer guys…."
"Shut up or I'll make you" I'm face were utterly red from embarrassment that Shima would blurt that out like some kind of a "normal conversation". And I knew that this was no turning back and if I do Shima will have another thing to blackmail me, which I won't let just happen.
After we grab and ate some melon bread and a milk shake we went back to the classroom as usual they were noisy and formed into groups that had a different conversations that I don't really care about it, Kamiki sat beside me and I'm really thankful that she there, like I said I needed somebody to be alone and I think that kamiki knew that already "are your papers ready?" I nodded, I nearly forgot that in a month Yukio and I will be Studying at the States for a year, we had passed the scholarship there and we can't just pass the opportunity though. "We'll go there in a month" she nodded and we proceed at our comfortable silence when a shadow blocked the light beside me. "O-Okumura can we hang out sometime?" this was the first time that someone said that to me and I really don't know what to say…. "Do you….. Need something?" I asked and I had really been taken aback by that, I can see that he frowned a little clearly that what I answered was wrong. "I don't need something… well I just like to … you know….. know you a little, I guess" he said and I glance at Kamiki who shrugged, I sighed even though I'm not into this I think I'll give it a try beside I'll be out of here in a month so why bother?.
"Okay." Did I just said that? Now I kinda feel like I regret that I said that, what will I do?, I sighed, what's done was done….
He grinned "Saturday afternoon, I'll give you a call or text…. Can I have your number?" he said and I'm really unsure on whether or not to give my number…. But I give it anyway. I'll just be a month Rin I said to myself, this was really an uncharted territory for me….. I'm really nervous…. Shit.
Too easy, I thought as I type the number Okumura gave me, I'll show Shima that I'll make him talk to me like everybody else, beside it's a win-win situation I won't be thinking of the money I owe and I'll get the chance to know Okumura that I've been observing since day one.
I really can't hide the smile I had when we walk home, I can tell that Shima regretted the whole bet now since I got Okumura's number. As I finished showering I wore a comfortable shirt and loose shorts and prepared myself to sleep, and I saw my phone and decided to text him.
"Okumura….are you still awake?" I waited for twenty minutes and still he hasn't replied, I feel kinda down though, Maybe he didn't like to talk to the likes of me or… *buzz buzz* my phone vibrated and I looked at the ID and grinned "Yeah kind of.."
"Well about Saturday, you're okay with that? :)"
"Yeah, I guess…. Is it just the two of us?" He said and I thought about it for a bit if Shima joined us I'm sure that Okumura will try to drag Kamiki and we'll be in chaos, we all know that Kamiki hates Shima's guts, so it a no no.
"It'll be just the two of us ;)" after that it took him forever to reply, I'm in deep sleep when my phone vibrated
"Okay" I don't know if I should be happy or not, it seems that he was trying to avoid me or something, seriously though what's his problem? Oh well I should make this work or goodbye money for me.
Saturday come and we ended up in a theme park, he was very quiet and I'm just the one who create a conversation and he'll quickly answer and end it… Why is he making it so hard for himself to chill out and relax, this will be harder than I thought….
"Ryuji…. I-…. Sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable, well…I'm just … not used to this" he said and I sighed "you're not makin me uncomfortable Rin… just chill and enjoy this day" I said and he smiled, it was the first time that I saw him simile, he looked like another person and it suites him, maybe if he just go out of his shell and let the others know him…
"Ryuji.. Why are we doing this? … I mean what for?" is he serious? Is it not clear that I wanted to be friends with him?
"Well, I wanted to be friends with you or more…." I shouldn't said the last part, now he's eyeing me now.
"I guess that's okay….. You'll be my first fight though…" first what? First friend? "What about Kamiki? Isn't she your friend"?
"Well she is, but this…. Will be the first though, I mean as I grow up I didn't have any friends I just prefer to be alone" that's just sad. Suddenly I had an Idea, I grabbed his hand and dragged him inside the park where sorts of rides and booths, we tried some and I saw that along those times I saw him smile and I thought that this was worth it. I think that no one in our class seen Rin smiled over a ride.
I think that he's just lonely and needed someone to be alone.
Ryuji tag along with me after that, and I liked it he and Kamiki were okay I guess, having a friend was a good thing after all, he was there all the time, in three weeks I could say that I really had a friend that I can rely on, He said that it was great that he could lay off of Shima for a while. I can tell that something was bugging him in the past week, he was a little close to me but I shrugged it off and thought that was just normal.
Our professor was nowhere to be found again so I excused myself to go to the bathroom and Ryuji said the same, when we were close to the bathroom Ryuji dragged me inside, he looked if we were alone in here which we were. "Rin…." I saw him gulped and shaking.
"Rin, I like you" he said as he slowly planted a kiss on my lips, I don't really know what to do and his hands slowly encircled around my hips pulling me into him and my arms unconsciously made their way on his neck. I felt excited… I liked it, I like the way it felt, his hands on my body…. I liked him. I was pondering myself for the past weeks because of an unknown feeling in my guts when Ryuji call my name when we talk for a bit and smiled at each other, it was so new to me, I didn't felt like that with Kamiki since she was somehow a friend to me. He pinched my ass and I gasped in surprise, he took that as his tongue explored my mouth, I… moaned and gripped his hair and I decided to mimic him, I returned the favor my kissing back, I like him too. We part off gasping for air. "That was hot Rin" he said as he kissed me on the cheeks "I really like you" he breathe on my neck as he suck a part of it. "I-I like you too Ryuji" I don't know what will happen when we go further than that, someone whistled behind us, I quickly turned around and I saw Shima "I didn't know you'll actually do that for a bet Ryuji…." A BET?! I was stunned and confused a bet? Why…
"O-Okumura can we hang out sometime?"
"I don't need something… well I just like to … you know….. Know you a little, I guess"
"You're not makin me uncomfortable Rin… just chill and enjoy this day"
"Well, I wanted to be friends with you or more…."
"Rin, I like you"
I like you my ass.
I have been fooled, this guy was doing this just for a bet and I thought that I really had a friend or more than that, and as I think of it why would someone like Ryuji wanted to "know about me" me at the first place? A nobody…. This is the thing that I hate most, being tricked and fooled at the same time, I shouldn't have got out of my protected shell, that way people like them wouldn't do this to me. I regretted it, I regret that I met him and people like him. I was shaking as I tried to pull myself together,
"Hey, it wasn't like that… yes there was a bet but…. What I said earlier was the truth I …"
"Fuck you Ryuji, don't give me that shit" I said and made my way out of the bathroom, as I entered the room I didn't notice the tears that kept falling down on me as I grabbed my bag, Kamiki asked me what happened and I just shook my head, and made my way out of the school, I didn't know that she was still following me until she grabbed my hand and pulled me into a hug, I don't know but I melt down on her and I let my tears flow out of me, it was my first time to like somebody and it was just an illusion, things were better before.
"I shouldn't let them know me, they fucking bet for my feelings…." I said as she patted my back "It'll be alright Rin…. You don't need them…."she said as I hugged her tightly, I didn't felt like this before, the need of someone to rely on. I was glad that she was there for me, even though we hardly talk to each other, even though I never had feelings for her like I did to Ryuji.
"Things were better before…..Thank you Izumo" I said as I made my way back home.
I needed to be alone.
"Why the fuck would you say that huh Shima?!" I punched him hard in the face God it felt good, but the way Rin looked at me at disbelief …. It fucking hurts, I know that it was the first time he'll say those words, it'll be the first time that he kissed someone, and this fucker ruined it. I really liked him and I know that I made a huge mistake for taking it as a bet at first, I really liked him, and that kiss earlier proved that he liked me back and it won't happen again because of this shit!.
"What the fuck BON! I didn't knew that you like him that much, besides I'm right you just did that for the bet!" he said as if what he just did was okay. "Fuck off Shima" I said as I got back of the room and noticed that neither Rin nor Kamiki were there. I ran a hand on my hair and sighed, I sat back on my chair and texted him
"Rin, I'm sorry but when I said that I liked you it was true, I really like you… please forgive me"
I really hope that he'll forgive me… and if he did forgive me I'll do my fucking best to make up for him.
A week had passed and Rin didn't showed up in school so I decided to ask someone who might have known where he is.
"Izumo, do you know where I could find Rin?" I asked and she pretend to ignore me and it was really grinding my gears, I'm trying to call or text him but he turned off his phone, I really want to talk to him, to apologize. I tapped her shoulder and yanked her to face me "Hey I want to talk to Rin" I felt sting on my cheek as she pushed me away from her "Even if I know where he is I won't fucking tell you, you didn't know how hard it is to let him open up to other people and you just stroll in his life and fuck it huh?"
"did you know what he said to me before he left?" before he left?
"What are you talking about? Where is he?" she looked at the ground her fist balled up and turned white.
"Things were better before… he was contented the way he is before you and you're fucked up friend played with your stupid Bet. He's probably on his flight to America right now " She said as she grabbed something on his pocket, it was Rin's phone.
"Open the drafts, and do whatever you want from now on" she said as she slammed the door shut startling some of my classmates. I headed on the rooftop and turn on the phone, as I opened the drafts section there were two messages.
To: Ryuji
If you're reading this message I probably on my flight…. I just wanted to tell you that what we had or rather what we did was fun, It was the first time that I had someone who tried to make friends with me even though it was just an act, it felt like it was real and I'll cherish it thank you though, for giving me that chance.
To:Ryuji
By the way, you know I really fell for it, the whole "I like you Rin" part you even made me say that too, you know I really thought that it was real, was the bet high? Ahaha…. Well I hope you find your next victim… good luck and goodbye.
I closed the phone and gripped it hard, God is this a punishment? I just wish that I could go back and punch myself, he was really gone now and I didn't even apologize to him. I just looked at the sky.
I'm so sorry Rin, I'm so sorry…..
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People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.
-Maya Angelou
I know that I should update Master and Familiar but this Idea was bugging me for the past weeks and I can't continue updating because this always blocked me out :(
So what do you think?
I'm not sure if this was only a one short or what… oh well
Review? Suggestions XD